Sunday, March 27, 2005


There is a friend who makes my heart ache.

No, nothing BGR related. (!)

She was a good friend of mine but time has seen her become a changed person.
And to someone i am not sure i know much anymore.

Not that she has done anything terrible to me.

It is because there is so much anger and pain.

I want to cry for her.

*** ***

I don't know why. But i am feeling a little depressed. For no reason at all.
Totally no reason at all.

*** ***

Obviously, i cannot have an objective view of myself.
So, i more or less can't really assess this.

Thing is, a friend of mine says that she sees a certain quality in me. (a rather interesting thing that i never expected myself to have)
While i think that most other people would NOT say the same thing about me.

It's sad that one has to be a different person when with different people.
(the worst part being that i cannot control this)

Some people have known me for a while, some haven't.
But those who may not have known me for long may have already seen my ugly side. While, the ones i've stuck with longer may not have seen my ugly side.

Maybe it's because we get along so well that there is no reason to show ugly sides.

Another thing. I acknowledge that i am so full of pride.
Constantly trying to squelch this monster of mine.

I feel SO ugly inside.

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