This little dude was perched in a zen-like manner on the first step of the flight of stairs. ALMOST squashed him when i came pounding down the stairs. Isn't he cute? Check out his awesome curled tail with the tip just hanging over his head! He didn't even so much as budge or twitch when i stuck my camera near his lizardy face. I was ready to leap back if he jumped or anything though. Heh.

Driven by the reality of my gross natural curls that ruined my side parting, my bald spot on my preferred side to part my hair at (too many years at the same parting), the itch for a new look, i went to cut myself some bangs at JP. I really like it! Even though my sister thinks i look toot. I love my sister, she tells me her honest opinion without hesitation and i in turn appreciate her prompt and objective feedback. After all, i always prefer the truth over a lie that would make me "happy".

I was thinking about doing this for weeks and finally, when Van said "Just go!", i decided... OK, I SHALL! I figured that i might chicken out at the entrance of the salon, but somehow, something about the place made me take a step in to enquire about the price for cutting a fringe. A nice lady greeted me and answered my queries, and when i decided $5 was a good deal, i decided to give it a go.

I was praying, "God, please give me an experienced stylist!" (i was frekkin scared because i'm not one to follow trends and i've never had bangs maybe since i was a wee kiddo?!)

And true enough, God gave me the LEAD HAIR STYLIST can? Who was the same nice lady who answered my queries. In about 10 minutes, i was done, and personally i think she did a quick, professional and tidy job. Just by looking my hair over and flipping it about, she could pinpoint how my hair behaves (natural waves, cannot cut too short and not this way, etc) and what i should avoid and what would be suitable for my face shape and manageable for me to maintain. Ok, maybe i look like a goon here. HAHA. I like!

Ok, slightly more normal looking here.

Nothing like watching Bolt on the samsung jet while having Jed lie down next to me so that I can pat him as he sleeps.

Cried my eyes out again while watching the last part! Ah, a show for dog lovers...

Breathing a little easier now, now that the assignments have all been handed in. I have just my practicum hours left to clock (ARGH, i still don't know if i'll have enough hours), reports to write as i go along, and session preparations to be done as i think of the intervention plan for each person. It's quite draggy work, but give me this any time, rather than school work man.

I was just thinking of how much work takes up my time such that I am wondering how my involvement in church will be like in future when majority of my life will be consumed by work. I'm hoping that as a counsellor, work stops in the office, but with the way things are right now... I'm suspecting that reports will eat into personal time, which isn't the way i want to live!

I caught myself thinking a while ago, whether i can skip this and skip that and just go for service only. It was then when I pretty much realized that you know, it's because i am around in church a lot that keeps me encouraged because of the friends i meet and the whole atmosphere of being in the presence of like minded people. This isn't to say that God doesn't exist outside of church, nor does it mean that my Christian walk ceases to exist once i step out of church.

But what i DO realize as part of REALITY, is that if i become too busy, and church and Christian living is relegated to a trip to church for 2 hours out from the whole week, i am likely to go down the slippery slope of being a sunday Christian. A Christian in name only, with just a hollow heart. Honest.

That was when it DAWNED on me... why, it's so important to have some form of commitment to a ministry(s), where I am accountable to people and there will be at least two or three people who will care enough about me to check up on me now and then. (Ok, i'm thankful that i can think of at least three. Which reminds me. Have I ever bothered about those who haven't been showing up? I think i tend to take the stance that they don't want to be bothered, so i in turn don't bother them...)

It's important to have people check up on you to see if you're still alive, whether you've died from being blown up in the kitchen or something like that, but it's even more essential that there are people who will ask how you're doing, not judge/scold you about why you've not been around and will even ask if there's anything that they can pray for you for. Those people are so precious and far and few in between.

Then again, i'm glad that what i am choosing to do with my life is something i knew God has planned for me to do. And with that, i know that i cannot do it without Him, i know that i will always be relying on Him to guide me and to bring me through. Which helps me keep close in step with Him. By default.

But still, i may fall into the trap of treating God like a genie, and though I toil with and for Him, I may still lose sight of the purpose of the journey every now and then, right?

Which brings me back to full circle. I need to be kept active in my ministry and guard my walk with Jesus like freaking jealously.

Have always wanted to wear coloured contact lenses but the makers haven't gotten round to making lenses for people with astigmatism, aka almost the whole of Singapore...

ALMOST done with my wretched assignments.

After which, it will be practicum hours and report writing galore but still may not be enough to graduate on time. I don't know. We'll wait and see.

God HELP.

my classmate put into words something i didn't realize i was going through.

Burn Out.

Yes, i am burnt out. Not majorly so, but it seems i'm on the route to being so. The only thing that can get me doing work is when i am pressured hard to do it. Otherwise, i can't bear to get typing or get my brain moving. I haven't had a proper break since january. and i'm still struggling with meeting the practicum hours requirement. I may not get to graduate on time because of that.

Recently, i experienced sour burps, something i've not had before/in a long time... And by chance, i happened to read an article about it and i found out that sour burps are a result of stress. i'm worried that i'm going to sprout out white hair soon. honestly, there are a few counsellors i know who seem to be hiding their white hair with hair dye...

I'm tired out from the work load and personal issues, and one of the only pleasures (other than FOOD) that i am refusing to give up is a good night's rest. I refuse to deprive myself of sleep even if it means that i can't get work done. i mean, c'mon! the stresses of life cannot rob me of that basic need man.

where is God? i do talk to Father now and then, but never more than a short simple prayer. i know He deserves more than that.

The good thing is that i got past that one period where i wanted to simply run off to a secluded place to have a good cry and get a breather from everything. I've moved on from there, but i can't say that there won't be another episode. i could just be running on a concoction of panic, responsibility and adrenalin right now.

i feel like telling the world to just get lost and frekkin' leave me alone, man.

i'm going to bed. it's 12:55am, i didn't get any work done and frankly at this current moment, i don't care.

jet out, iphone in?

With M1 and now, STARHUB joining in the race, that is, selling the iphone as well... i am SO tempted. To jumpship AND to trade in my Samsung Jet.

I have to admit, i still hate touch screens. But i wonder if the iphone's touch screen technology and it's interface would be any better... The Jet's not a bad phone, it's just the fact that the touch screen and nitty gritty details to do with interface isn't that efficient, which makes its usage darn annoying for someone like me who's got to do things snappy and on the go. I've been quite frustrated with it recently. :-(

there are some features that the iphone is lacking (features which i count as important): a good camera with flash, a front pointing cam for video calls, bluetooth (the iphone's is next to useless), and decent battery life.

i guess... i just need to get used to this irritating touch screen nonsense. For now. Who knows, maybe my next phone will have the good old keypad, once the phone makers have figured out how to include big screens with keypads in a slim phone body. In my world, and probably everyone else's, life zooms by at a crazy pace and i find myself having to multitask as i move about. Thinking, planning, communicating, pondering, worrying, troubleshooting...

Maybe having this little monster called the samsung Jet will slow me down for a bit, to hone my patience and allow me to take time to see what goes into my smses. Might help my brain form more neural connections while i'm at it, since i'm still fumbling. But boy, i wish i could make the perfect phone!

hello sekrit stawkur hannah: heehee! thanks for dropping by and dropping me a note. nice to know there's someone's reading out there! :) and yes, i have decided that i will not go. but, i think i will hijack someone's bag space... to pass something nice to some of the kids. I HOPE the someone won't mind too much. :oD Yeah, jenn said she can't go and it was sad to hear. it wld've been nice to experience the dynamics of being the same team as our worship pastor. :) Are you going?

***

Some random photos that i took with my old sony ericsson that never got onto the blog till now:

Was walking through my friend's HDB estate when i saw this AWESOME old school mama shop at the VOID DECK of the block. Oh my goodness. Check out the clock! It's SO OLD! Possibly from the 1980s??? I have no idea. It brings me back to my childhood, when trips to the minimarts were absolute excursion treats, with the possibility of being able to bargain (read: plead, pout, emotional coercion) with the accompanying adult to buy me candy or chocolates, or a mechanical pencil. :)

Look! LOOK! I love it that the place has been preserved and is still being run by an old uncle.

Moving on. I've never experienced drinking tea like this in a hawker food centre with such tiny tea cups. Really unique.

That would be our tea pot, perched beside us.

Was at Bugis when i passed by pet lover's centre and was stunned when they used a miniature pinscher as a doggy model. LOVE! You usually see other dogs like golden retrievers, spaniels or some other friendly looking fluffy thing. But here, you see a lovely, handsome little min pin. :)

Ok, in not so glamourous times, here's my own min pin under the covers.

Mom and i at a booth in the science centre being amused by one of the exhibits. Can't remember what the technology was about. If you can see, i'm holding up my phone to snap a photo.

Spotted at The Central. I kid you not. (original word bring "glass") Some smart*** probably wanted to have a laugh.

Ancient tomes in NLB. Was trying to search for information on work trends in Singapore. Not helpful at all. And look at how old school the books are! Where have all the publications from local writers from NUS, NTU, etc, all gone to?

O.o