Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Why David Lanz and Company ROCK.

Upon receiving one of the periodical emails from Davidlanz.com which had information about a sale going on, i decided:
THAT'S IT. I'M GOING TO GET THOSE CDS THAT SINGAPORE DOESN'T BRING IN. (ok, they're priced in US dollars, but well... who cares when it's David Lanz?!)

And so, straight to the website i go and made my order. *click, click, click*

I love their service because it's SO easy and...:

- And it took just 9 days for the CDs to reach me. I is a happy camper.

- They answered my first email request in just a matter of... dunno. A coupla hours? And to my subsequent replies, the "Web Goddess" replied immediately. So prompt, so clean.

- They threw in a free cd. Apparently, someone had stuck a blue coloured post-it on the back of the CD saying "Free Bonus!". (handwritten too!)

- David Lanz sent his autograph (TWO somemore!) even though i didn't request for it. (the website does ask if you would like David Lanz's autograph)

When i received the package, i was surprised to find that it was specified to contain "3 CDs". Thought they had gotten it wrong, but when i opened it, needless to say, i felt so warm and smiley inside.

I'm not the sort to go kuku over freebies but i was quite touched lah. Yeah, it could've been a very good business tactic. Well, it worked anyway.

What i love most about David Lanz and Co., is that they come across as very personal. I don't know about you, but from the first day i found and surfed his website, i felt that he was NOT an artist who hides behind tons of managers, tons of crew, tons of professional but impersonal cold sounding web pages and whatnot.

For example, you get to see pictures of him with family and friends and even his travels and read fun facts among other things.
No wonder they won an award for their site.
The emails he sends out sound like they are speaking right to you, and he adds his familiar pleasant humour into them.

And this personal touch translates to even the items they sent out: The little post-it that was handwritten and stuck so candidly behind the CD and the extra initiatives which were the cd, one signature on a slip of paper in one CD and another slip of paper with a short message and signature.

I really appreciated it.

Sigh. *smile* There's something so unspeakably beautiful about handwritten messages.

Lalala. But i haven't looked at the damage to my bank account yet.

Monday, May 30, 2005

Will be switching to the Blogger commenting box soon and i deeply apologize if any or all of your previous replies have been erased because of the switch. The reason for the change is because Haloscan is becoming really unreliable.
Thanks to all of you for your continual visits and comments. I value them and you all, very much!

Sunday, May 29, 2005

About trust

I have learnt from the current bliss of another... that:

If you don't learn how to trust...

- you will never be able to understand the kind of soaring and trusting freedom that one can have, in love.
- you will never be able to grasp and revel in what a fulfilling relationship can bless you with.
- you don't give the other person a chance to prove themselves.
- you don't give yourself a chance to be immersed in positive emotions.

I don't know what on this Earth will be able to make me believe that relationships, THESE DAYS, can be forever.

I've seen so many relationships starting off being so blissful, so happy, so diabetes SWEET, but over a period of time, they disintegrate into anger, hurt and insane pain.

Either that, the couple find that things weren't quite going the way it should be and therefore lead to a sort of amicable break up.

Perhaps many other permutations, but well, the bottom line is:
All ha-base (sorry lah, i dunno how to spell. Pronounce liddat, you can get it already) in the end.

I know that i might get flak for this from you guys... Though GENERALLY speaking...

I've always doubted the faithfulness of guys. I've always thought that they're always on the lookout for a better person, a more attractive person, a smarter person, a more talented person, etc.
That somehow, that roving eye cannot be tamed!

Another issue with guys i have is that, i've always felt that the depth of their feelings is questionable.
One minute, they "love" you, the next, they can easily fall for someone else.

As shallow as a puddle after a drizzle.

I've seen how even after 2 years (some even 4 and 5 years), a guy can just simply not feel the same way about his girlfriend anymore. And it's not like the relationship was on the rocks or anything.

I've seen the direct impact it caused, how it has and can have ruined lives.

Like, WHAT THE???

Ok lah, there are some successful relationships also. Wish those influenced me more than the negative cases.

But really, the negative overwhelm the positive right now.

*** ***

I pictured the scene that if Jed were to die on me... The whole scenario from my JC1 days will repeat itself.

Man, inviting someone into your life, be it a dog, hamster, person... Is like asking for potential pain. It's opening yourself up to getting hurt in future.

But if you don't open your life to these critters and people to love, you will never experience what comes before the pain, which could jolly well be one wonderful and unforgettable (positive)ride.
And even if it doesn't leave nice memories, chances are, that there's something to learn from every bad experience.

Thursday, May 26, 2005

We Triumphed.

After a year of disappointment last year, ACJC wrestled and tackled their way to V-I-C-T-O-R-Y this time.


23 to ACJC... Can't quite see RJC's score... Hm... Posted by Hello

Squinting, are you?

Well, here you are then. *cheeky grin* Posted by Hello

(sorry, i couldn't help it. took my cue from a coupla cheeky ACS guys who were behind me.)

Flurry of ACS flags... Mostly held up high and united. Well, sorta. Posted by Hello

WE WON AND WE KNOW IT! Posted by Hello

HOOYAY! Posted by Hello

And so... It was a beautiful day for all ACSians. Posted by Hello

Two noted:

- All the ACJC ruggers had "Phil 4:13" printed just below the ACS crest, both of which were emblazoned on front of their jerseys.

"I can do everything through Him who gives me strength." (Phil 4:13)

- The loud "AMEN!" after the post game prayer. Beautiful.

*** ***

I ended class late to find that i could only reach the Police Academy at 6+pm to catch the rugby finals.

After the mad dashing and calves-killing brisk walking, I got off the bus hoping that there was still some of the game left to watch. From where i was, i spied that it was still going on.
But i had this gut feeling in me that i was going to need to run to the field if i was going to catch anything of any good.

So i sprinted about 150m to the academy and halfway, i thought i heard the triple whistle blow. I didn't have much time to think so i continued running.

Just as i reached the edge of the field, i caught snippets of disappointed but encouraging bits (ok, comments) from the RJC camp to their team. Also saw that some of them didn't look all that excited and they were milling about less than enthusiastically.

AH HAH! I think ACJC won!

My first goal was to take a peek at the scoreboard.

And so i did... and i saw that we sort of thrashed RJC 23-0, I called up TW immediately and told him we won!

J: Hey TW, guess what? WE WON!
TW: (!!!)
(both of us are were very happy people at that point)

All this was done at quite a high volume as i was walking behind the Rafflesians towards the ACJC camp. No need to mention that i got stared at as i went by. Muah hahaha.

Guess i didn't get to catch the action on the field, so i got myself swept up into the mass and mess of ACSians that had ran onto the field.

And sang the school song along with everyone else.
It felt a little strange, wish i had been wearing a school tee instead but neh mind.

The only two complaints i have are

- that being an unofficial photographer, i didn't get the chance to take close up shots with the players actually LOOKING at MY camera. Pffft. Neh mind.

- i am a jinxed photographer. The team did the "Haka", this Maori war dance about a total of 3 or 4 times and i caught nothing but ONE miserable shot of backsides.
YES, rugger backsides.
How dumb.
Reason being that i:
1. couldn't get to the front where they were facing.
2. my stupid hand and brain coordination was entirely off, hence resulting in my camera not working as a team with me.

Anyway. Neh Mind.
WE WON. Thank you, Lord. Amen.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

One big turn off: Dishonesty.

*** ***

Guess the Monster Contest Posted by Hello

But really, I beg to differ. There are actually two obvious monsters in this picture, but the photographer chose to discriminate against one of them, just because it looks slightly different!

He even gleefully publicized of a free gift for the smarty pants who can guess the discriminated monster's name.


This monster is not happy.

(Disclaimer: if you cannot tell that i AM KIDDING, *palmface*. And NO... FSMT is NOT a monster. He's a real nice guy. Really.)

Monday, May 23, 2005

Manners... is VERY attractive. Guys...?

I was shocked when he stepped into my granny's place. The last time i saw him was about a year ago and BEFORE that meeting in church, i hadn't seen him in YEARS.

B and i have been childhood friends but up to late primary school, i never got to see him much anymore because he was always jetting off to some other part of the world. Family matters, school matters.

Anyway, all that is besides the point i want to make.

One of my pet peeves (familiar line? *wink*) is when guys don't know how to treat a girl's parents.

Sure, you can be all gentlemanly to a girl, but you know, what you REALLY NEED TO DO, WHAT YOU REALLY NEED TO DO TO SCORE...

It's NOT just about the girl.
It is also about how you are able to carry yourself in front of her folks and how you treat her folks.

Really, i cringe and you know, i want to hand social etiquette books out:
"The Idiot's Guide to Winning a Girl's Parents' Favour."

But that would be really hurtful but hey, you know. DEAL WITH IT. Because it's the truth and the truth HURTS.

So what has this got to do with B today?

Well, B is not part of our family by blood, but he is my uncle's godson so he is more than welcome to join us in family activites.

After dinner, as we gathered outside the hotel to say our goodbyes and part ways, B, the extremely tall, tanned, deep voiced guy he is...

Came up from behind, up to my short grandmother, got her attention, looked right at her sincerely, warmly shook her hand and said: "Sheng Ri Kuai Le" in his slightly American accented Mandarin.

("Sheng Ri Kuai Le" means "Happy Birthday" in mandarin. Thanks HippiHo, heh.)

He is not even part of our family, and he doesn't really know my granny, so... What manners he has!
I was impressed.

You might say, "Well, he OUGHT to, because after all, he is a kind of stranger."

But you know, even her own grand children, yes me, didn't do that for her, but look at him.
(hey, but i semi-hugged her ok?)

I am impressed by his warmth for someone he does not know, the kind of consideration, thoughtfulness, manners, and PRESENCE OF MIND that he had. Brilliant.

Small issue? Not to me. It speaks volumes to me.

I think most people would just go, "Wah, so full liao, i wanna go home slack man... wanna go sleep liao/play PS2/etc."

I am NO perfect example of manners myself. And i think i suck at leaving good impressions on parents as well.
Man, I have a lot to learn from him.
(especially when dealing with one pest of a cousin. Pffftt. Patience, Patience!)

So how does this translate to impressing parents?

Well, manners learnt=manners shown towards others=manners shown towards folks=you get points=very good for your record book


This is not a textbook or reference book so no hard and fast rules here.
Though i think one thing is definitely, RESPECT. Which needs to be tangible, not just "yeah, i respect wad."

When you show respect:
- you abide by the rules that the girl has to follow as well.
- you acknowledge her parents' presence and make an effort to be nice to them even if you don't like them. You talk and listen with respect.
- you don't push for your way unreasonably.

So far, that's all i can think of, for respect. There's certainly more...

Respect is like, the basic.
But you know, if you want to add the "frills"... Ok lah, not really frills but it will win you points...
Warmth, confidence, sincerity, presence of mind with the situation at hand, helpfulness.

In general i think, this should help you lah. So... go figure!

I must also learn how to put these into practice. Aiiiii...

Friday, May 20, 2005

randoms by the hour

Ah... I see some things have made decisions!
Decisions, decisions, decisions, all parta life, aye yai!

Can't say i am too impressed, but hey, i ain't going to discuss it. Not mah business and better to shuddup anyway lest i begin something i don't want to.

But one thing i shall say and that is: Not trustworthy at all, I knew it.

*** ***

While lying out prose and minding my own business, AG came by and decided to pummel and massage my back muscles. Man... it felt good! Usually, i'd be the one in the home to give massages (but i got no license one, i go by instinct) and never felt how it was like to be given one.

Thing is, i couldn't stop giggling/laughing and squirming because it was ticklish at certain points.

Been toying for a while already with the idea of going to those reputable massage parlour places to unwind and pamper. But on second thought, i think it best not to... I would be a very noisy (giggly, lah) client and i don't fancy the idea of anyone losing his/her job.

*** ***

Is something amiss? I spare little or no thought time/space for you at all but yet i see you in my subconscious.
And it has been persisting. Why?

*** ***

Thursday, May 19, 2005

I've learnt...

As your plane circles the air above the hot and sandy desert, you see the many other planes that had chosen to take the chance and land on the sand instead of the runway.
Many had fallen in a bad way, some were stuck and some had crashed and were burning.

But then that runway beckoned in front of you, not far off. It was a clear path, perfect for landing. As you look at the furthest end, where the runway stops, you see other many planes lined up neatly in their respective lots.

(He is the way, the truth and the life.
That whoever believes in Him, shall not perish, but will have eternal life.)

Two very prestigious social clubs of equal stature recently opened.

The first one stated that for membership, you'll need to earn at least $1 million a year, you need to be able to afford the exorbitant membership fees, you'll need to own a car...

The second one merely says: Welcome! Someone has already paid for all your expenses. All you need to do is accept his generous offer and you're free to join us! :-)

(The very difference with Jesus is, is that he paid the price of death for us. Just so that he could atone for our wrongdoing. Who else ever did that for you and I?
That is Love.)

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Daddy's girls.

I shall be a good girl. A very very very good girl. So good until cannot good anymore ah.

Proud of you.

You'd better be.

*** ***

I was just talking to my dad the other day about where he would want to stay when my sister and i have our own places, for whatever reason.

Another reason for asking this was to note his reaction/thoughts when it comes to the empty nest syndrome.
I know that my parents are the very family oriented type, and they love having all the family members around at home.

Found it amusing that he thinks that son-in-laws shifting in with in-laws is not as bad as daughter-in-laws shifting in.

He declared loudly and in mock serious resolution:
"There can only be ONE. "


I am guessing you know what he means. I followed up: So, the kitchen is the war zone hah? But then again, the whole house can be a war zone.

(you know, if the kitchen was the sole war zone and that if peace can be upheld if i do not step in, i would gladly stay out of it. R.e.a.l.l.y.)

Aiyo, the plethora of stories of nit picky mother-in-laws are definitely frightening. Oh, why oh why was i born a girl?!

I'd seriously freak if i'd have to face a mother-in-law who cannot let loose a little and is always sensitive and critical about every little amoeba sized issue.

About the empty nest syndrome. I didn't get much out of him.
All that talk on families and whatnot made me think about marriage and how my folks would take it.

And i was thinking...

They seem to be able to live with the notion that: Yes, my children will be gone someday. KEYWORD: SOMEDAY.
But i feel that for them to accept and adjust would be really, really, tough.

I may be wrong. But that's how it looks like.
And why do i say that? Better substantiate before i get slapped with defamation from my folks.

Well, they've only got 2 of us and we're a tight family. I know that i'm the baby in the home. *rolls eyes*
(But don't get me wrong, even i wouldn't be able to get away with cockroaches scuttling about in my room.)

Grr. And that fact is all the more drilled in because of a not so distant past.

From the way we're spoken to and treated, i can see that letting go is not going to be a small issue.
The minute some talk about having a real relationship enters the picture, WHOO!

Watch the over boiling cauldron! Watch the timebomb! NO WAIT! DON'T WATCH!

TAKE COVER! Grab a pot to protect your head! Go bury yourself 10 feet under! And don't forget to leave a safe 10km radius from the danger zone!

They can talk hypothetically with ease, the CONCEPT is fine... But when it comes to something real life... Oh, help us all.

Ok, i was exaggerating. But you get my drift, right?

To be fair, i understand the reasons for their concern. Concentrate on studies, don't subject self to complications in this last lap, concentrate on studies...

Ah, but all is not lost when it comes to lessening the explosion.
There are just a handful of things, yes, a handful of sacred things that once accomplished, half the battle would be very well won.

Eh. My essay is calling me. I gotta siam for now.

Monday, May 16, 2005

He Healed

AG witnessed an instantaneous healing that took place yesterday at church.
Wow, i feel so encouraged.

You see, one of AG's friends knew of a person who had been suffering from a swollen knee that didn't get better even after a doctor's attempt at treatment.
Let's call her X.

Initially, X's employer didn't allow her out on sunday but she sneaked out anyway when she heard that there was going to be a time of prayer for healing for the sick.

AG told me that when she saw X walk into the church meeting, X's knee was swollen and X had to limp as she walked.

As X was being prayed for, she cried and cried but suddenly, she started yelling in complete elation: "There's NO MORE PAIN! NO MORE PAIN! I AM HEALED!"

And X began walking up and down, shaking and flexing her joints to make herself believe or something, i don't know.

AG saw for herself that the swollen knee had subsided to normalcy after the prayer and healing X had received and AG told me that during the break they had, X was so extremely ecstatic that she couldn't even eat.

At times like these, I am so thankful to God for showing himself and being faithful to someone who did not even know Him from the start.

X was not a Christian when she stepped into the room, but now, she has a powerful testimony to share and tell the world.

PRAISE THE LORD! What an encouragement. :-)

Lord, what is life, without you.

*** ***

It's a fuzzy notion that i roughly get. But knowing myself, i cannot stand fuzzy notions. I like things to be clear, explicit, consolidated.
Something i can get confirmation from when i revisit the information.

I cannot begin to fix my thoughts coherently into some meaningful picture that i can understand.
And that's because i don't have enough pieces to fix it together to begin with.

It's not that i don't get the idea. I know what it's about.

What i don't like is when you don't have a complete, full, solid idea. Because with such a complete idea, you can poke and prod, infer, derive, analyse...

And you will still get a reliable answer after all that mental gymnastics.

But when all you have are just fragments stitched together by the fog of assumption, there's no way you can infer without asking questions again about the truth of it and whether you are assuming.

And we all know... That assumption, makes an ASS out of U N ME. (ASS-U-ME)


*** ***

I sat up on the bed this morning and our eyes met and held.

He then came over with adoration in his eyes, stood up on his hind legs, put his front paws on my neck and gave me a good licking on my lips.

I'm telling you, my dog is part humanoid.
I lubb my makeshift husband.

*** ***

Posterior on the black chair.

*searches for that well of emotion and feels the stirring*
*lays hands softly on the black and white keys*
And begins to tenderly play something that reflected how i felt inside.

It's nothing much, just a short meditative sounding piece of repeated melody.

There's the feeling of soft gentle happiness, the kind of happiness that makes you smile warmly inwardly but yet there's also a tinge of sadness and it eventually gives way to the conclusion, that is, of hope.

I don't know. But somehow, something so wonderful, still stirs the double emotion of bittersweetness in me. So, despite being satisfied, there's still this darker side i cannot explain. But the weird thing is, this dark side, is not an unhappy kind of thing.

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Literal and Figurative

I thought only one of them was kuku. Now i get this. I'm sorry if you can't tell hamster head from hamster butt. Heh. Too poofy, these things.

Don't they look like the Pisces fish? Posted by Hello

Check out the hobbit leg. I like. Posted by Hello

At best, they look mangled. Posted by Hello

*** ***

Everything was perfect.

Strong winds that blew against me, drawing the heat away, sweeping my hair back, sipping on a cool drink, with my eyes focused straight ahead, in silence.

If only i could ignore the fact that i was walking towards class for tutorial.

I wanted the moment to prolong itself or to last forever. That time and life would have no hold on me.

That i may continue walking, with my vision set on the road ahead.

And should or when my journey end(s), it would end when i reach the place where you are, Lord.

And a long journey is fine. I long to see your creation, your hand, You.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

So what if you've never been laid before getting hitched?

(have replied to comments in previous posts)

*** ***

Was just thinking of how these days, people do not treat virginity as something worth keeping till the day you marry the love of your life or someone close to that.

It's really sad.

Being a Christian and also a traditionalist in many ways, i think that saving that bit of yourself for your spouse makes things very special for both. Even if it means that they have to read the Idiot or Dummies guide books series together on how to copulate.

Don't give me that: Aiya, must get some experience first mah...
That is utter CRAP.

Ok, so you think that if you do not perform in bed on your wedding night, it means that your self worth and ego deflates down to something of the size of an amoeba.

But, I do not think that your future wife/husband would appreciate you having had "practice" with other females/men before her.
Even if you act like a total greenie on your first time, SO WHAT?!

(unless... you're the type who gets turned on by experienced people and you don't care how and where they got the experience.)

I'm sure that s/he'll see right through the situation. Remaining a virgin takes quite some will power, determination and inner strength with the kind of pressures that society dishes out more than abundantly.

Some of you might say: It's ok to have sex as long as you truly love the person. Oh, and make that safe sex too.

I don't condone this but this becomes a question of personal choice. (though i still think that it is an excuse)

Let me point out that it is never certain that you will NEVER eventually break up unless somehow or other, you know the future, or lost the keys to those handcuffs.

And if you say that you truly loved the person that you made love to, think again of how you would have caused some form of emotional baggage/hurt in the person as an after effect in the event of a break-up.

My take is that sexual intercourse was made for couples who have already made vows to each other that are not meant to be broken. MARRIAGE, in other words.

It's something special that two people share exclusively because of the love, committment and responsibility that they have for one another.
It's something precious that is worth keeping till the day you give it in and devote it to that person you love.
Because he/she is worth it, worth the wait.

In that way, you also honour each other with your bodies.

Therefore, if you've remained a virgin, under well, NORMAL circumstances...
That says a lot about you.
And i salute you. It is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, it makes you special.

That said, i am not condemning those who've had premarital sex before. I will still love, forgive and accept you for who you are but i definitely don't condone what has been done.

Till Then.
*Been putting my skin through hell these days... Man, i look like a 100.*

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

(really pissy post was taken off due to the effectiveness of M's spiritual iced tea)

And i have *lalala* that makes my day and makes me smile.

Thank God...

1. that there's no band practice today because i cannot afford the time to go... But i kinda miss the (illegal?) jamming and electric guitar-ing around.

2. that i am still alive.

3. for His Strength.

4. For loving people around me. AG was a saint today (and every other day too when she sees me awake in the morning), coming in with a mug of hot, thick milo and giving me a waist to hug when i was feeling soooooo tired.

5. For lalala.

6. For M's spiritual iced tea at that ungodly hour.

7. For my Nivea Vit C cream. (my eyeesss, my eyesssss.) Oh FINE, it's not 100% effective but it lets me think that it at least does help with something, ok? (though it's perhaps only just psychological. hee.)


Tuesday, May 10, 2005

He painted.

Because of the blue skies, white clouds, the absence of rain and dark clouds earlier in the day, it birthed me a boooootiful sunset yesterday.

Jo ran upstairs to soak in the beauty of the short lived moment... with the camera.
The scene changes every moment but i guess it's not easy to tell. Gads, i wish i had a, whatchamacallit? Wide angle lens thingy?

Went to see if the roof top area (you know, where the generators and stuff are?) was open, but the gate was chained up.
Had to make do with the floor just below it, which was thankfully also just a floor above the penthouse, so that hopefully the residents don't get the wrong idea.

Tried the panorama function thing but i don't know how to stitch it up digitally. Pffft.

If i could spend my days sky gazing, during its every season, rain or shine, on top of the world on a cliff where i can see the East and West.
Oh, how magnificent that would be.

Posted by Hello

Uhm... No words needed..

Posted by Hello

Love the whole cacophony of different cloud formations but yet they all fit together to form a perfect tapestry.

Posted by Hello

There was this interesting horizontally stretched out cloud.

Posted by Hello

Layers of pretty colours.

Posted by Hello

Love the higher wispy clouds in the background and the thick poofy ones that appear closer to us. Like little animated characters running around a backdrop.

Thing whichever-number with an itchy eye that it's scratching and a strawberry. (platform: my hand) Posted by Hello

Gah... Wish there was a better way to frame/enlarge/do SOMETHING to the photos so i can somehow do the photos some justice and show you just how glorious the whole thing was.

Monday, May 09, 2005

Wow. Nothing but... Wow.

I've read the posts. I've pictured the images that his words weave. So powerful, so moving. I don't know how he does it.

He doesn't need all that flowery, complex sentence structure, those incomprehensible shakespearean poetry.
Just pure and raw emotion, fashioned right there in words.

I've always doubted love. Always doubted the sincerity and truth of romantic love from any man.

But to see that sort of depth felt in a person, I can only say that I wish that some day, you'll finally embrace what you deserve.
Someone who will love you the same way the you love her.

*** ***

This is so weird.

I am getting replies to my NTU application that i made this year, when on the other hand, i was rejected two years in a row in the past.
And the offers i am getting are coming from the bottom up. First, it was Eng Lit (5th choice), now, it's the BA/BSc (Edu) (3rd and 4th choice), for teaching.

I have a friend who had 'A' level grades which were slightly below mine but got into NUS after the third application. Hmmm... Odd.

But i'm not complaining.

I guess it's bittersweet because even though i am receiving the partial green light(s) into NTU/NIE, those courses are not what i really want. But, as T said, perhaps getting involved might be a good idea because i'll never know what's ahead.

Very true indeed.
Though i cannot shake the feeling that i should not invest my time and (not-quite-there) enthusiasm into it. After all, my whole hearted interest and passion lies with psychology.

All i can do is wait and trust for whatever's best, even if nothing turns out to be what i'd like it to be.

*** ***

Funny how she used to say that she would be a nun for life because no one would fall in love with her.
Ah... but time has proven otherwise. Now, hypothetically speaking, it looks like she is going to be the first one in our clique to get married!

The last time we spoke, it was such a pleasure to see the kind of chemistry she had with her SO (SO=significant other, NOT a**hole) and how comfortable they are with each other.

Am certainly happy for her, and i hope nothing horrible gets in the way. It's her first relationship and knowing her, i definitely do NOT want her to get her heart broken at any time.

At this rate, it doesn't look like she will (though there're always chances ok, in reality).
Anyway, I think that they both deserve each other, wonderful people.

I'm glad that her relationship is no where near the not-too-successful ones that two in our clique have experienced before.

But right now, i wish she could just EXTRACT herself from his loving arms and fall into OUR LOVING ARMS! ARGH!
(our=her ALSO very very affectionate girl friends)

We, the other three from the Library Gang want her back for just 3 days man!

I am so screwed, with my assignment due and me not doing much yet.

Sunday, May 08, 2005

From a Christian perspective (updated)

He spoke of the absence of the love of the Earthly daddy during the youth service today.

And at the end of it all, i saw many young people bravely coming forward to receive prayer from parent representatives.

(these "parent representatives" are parent couples who were chosen, because of their experience and the knowledge of God, to give prayer support to those youths who felt that they needed to forgive their fathers for the hurt and pain inflicted. Emotional or otherwise.)

It touched me to see how these complete strangers (the youths), embraced these parents who were not their own.

Also, it was such a joy to see how these parents look upon these youths with love. With the love of Christ that resides in them.

I don't believe in shoving Christianity down anyone's throat. It puts people off and only makes things touchy between people.

Funny how the talk on faith can really infuriate people. Funny how it's become such a sensitive topic.

My heart aches when i see these debates that just keep going on and on and on. Yeah, i was involved in one before. *shakes head*
And i won't be too quick to get myself involved again unless justified.
Just wish that these debates would just cease.

But sometimes, i just want to shout at the top of a mountain cliff and tell the world how God loves you and WANTS YOU.

Sometimes, i just wish that the very words i direct at a person can speak right to a person's innermost being and soul.

It's so hard to share about God when friends have strong beliefs in their philosophies and theories that they have arrived at.

It's not that we seek to put your views down and win an argument.

But this persistent sharing of God, is really done out of pure love.
It has nothing to do with self gain.

(though i have heard of otherwise. in such cases, we Christians also need to search ourselves for wrongdoing.)

I want to go back to my Creator, and that is also precisely what i want for my friends too, with all my heart.

When we die, or when the world ends, whichever comes first, it would be such a joy to be eternally in the presence of the ones you loved on Earth, together with our one Creator.

Which is why, in a not so distant past, it kept me awake at night thinking...

What if something happens to so-and-so before so-and-so can be led to Christ?

I don't know how i can live with that guilt, for not being lovingly persistent enough.

*** ***

Eh... Was sifting through my drawer trying to find letters and put them together.

Came across the countless postcards that my friends had so lovingly written and given during my JC days.

*smiles and feels so lurrrved*

Found a bit of "the history", ah, but it shall remain history.

Friday, May 06, 2005

lala (updated)

Pweety Red Rose from pweety cute guy Posted by Hello

(oops, sorry if the picture made you giddy. My phone got no *tulip* function.)

Ok lah, ok lah.

There were these bunch of guys giving out roses to promote the grand opening of some beauty centre.

I manage to dodge one guy even after he persisted with a sugary, gentle, sweet tone, "It's free...",
(you see, mommy says never to take things from strangers, even if they are young harmless looking puppies graciously giving out thornless red roses)

but the next guy had a disarming smile when i smirked at him, plus he was placed tooooo strategically outside the MRT station that i just took a rose anyway.

(ah, forgot what mommy said)

If you're wondering why i was smirking at him, it's because i was really amused at the whole thing.

*imagine a buncha guys with big big wooden woven baskets filled with red roses, standing around, concentrated in that little busy few square metres*

Oh yeah, and smirking is just one trademark of mine, so...


I gotta red rose. A pweetty red rose.

*** ***

Please forgive my twin sister. She just wants to feel pampered, so just let her be, ok?

Sigh. I know i'm no where near how happy she is. On the contrary, I'm feeling REALLY sad and REALLY disappointed.

I know what's wrong and I know what i need to do about it.

In everything, I will walk the talk. And that's all i gotta say about that.

(this has nothing to do with rejecting the NTU interview offer)

Till Then.
*Back to you, i need to come.*

Thursday, May 05, 2005

to go?

I have been called down to NTU for an interview tomorrow... It's to do with my 5th choice i made, which is, the arts degree in English Literature.

I thought it was suppose to be just English! Very different you know?

Em... I said I would turn up but upon more thought, realize that there is no point in doing so.

Whether i get the place or if i do not, either way, i am not budging from my psychology degree course in SIM, UNLESS and only UNLESS i get the psychology place in NTU.
Which is a VERY VERY iffy thing.

The chances of getting that psychology place is possibly next to zilch. But well, if the Lord has plans, then so be it.

T'was really embarrassing when the admin person called me up and asked me if i could schedule an interview in tomorrow for the English Lit programme and i was like:

"Sorry? English Lit...?"

"Yes, it was your last choice"

Sigh. Clearly, i don't think i came across as a very serious student who knows what exactly is going on.
Well, truth be told. I would never do engineering in a million years, hence the last choice being what it is.

(actually, more accurately. I CAN'T DO engineering. My aptitude in that area is minus infinity.)

If i don't go for this interview, it shouldn't have anything to do with/shouldn't interfere with my application into my first choice, that is, psychology... Right? Correct me please.

Bleah. Later. I have soooo much reading to do, i wish i was that fella from Star Trek, whatshisface?


Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Newest addition to the Zoo.

I had cockroaches who, er, thrill me at night, a dog named Jed who finds new antics to brighten our dull human lives, Mini Me fruits that sacrificed their maturity to feature on my blog and now we have dwarf hamsters!



"Thing 1" and "Thing 2" Posted by Hello

My sister was the one who named them. Mais well as call them "1" and "2". For your information, i cannot tell the brothers apart.
I am pleased to have caught them mimicking each other.

Ordinary enough looking hamsters right?

But then yesterday, i realized that we are so influential. *smug*
You know how imitation is the best form of flattery?

Seems like the hamsters have come to share/pick up their owners' off kilter kind of humour. My, my, they are catching on fast.

I am so proud.

Squished in between the running wheel and cage. Posted by Hello

Close up on squished Thing whichever-number Posted by Hello

Yes, your eyes are not joking Posted by Hello

Very amused by its little teeny legs that are sticking out of the cage. We didn't do anything, it simply decided to wedge itself there.

The 1st time we caught one of them doing this, it was sleeping in that position. The 2nd time round, it was eating, chewing on a little piece of seed of some sort.

My sister has a circus in her room man.

*looks around for more photos*

Monday, May 02, 2005

Belly Flabby

I am belly disgarsted at myself because i haven't ran in two veeks and my belly iz going to reach the size when it will be large enough to serve me breakfast in bed every morning.

Did you know that stress also contributes to tummy flab?

At this rate, I'll be rolling/bouncing (think: fishball) and not walking, to the gym the next time round.
Which hopefully will be this wednesday as usual, or tomorrow.

Sunday, May 01, 2005


STRUCK by the faithfulness of God..., that i told myself that i was GOING TO SHARE THIS WITH ALL OF YOU WHOM I LOVE...

Wasn't so much the topic itself, but it was the sure and steadfast demonstration of how God can work so powerfully in your life.

The sermon certainly kept me riveted. If you're interested, click HERE.

Once you've reached the page, go to the left hand side that says "Sermons Online", look for and click on "Money and Possessions" by Joseph Chean, on the 23 April 2005.

He tells a lot of anecdotes and it really spoke of how God guides him in his life.

If you have the time, take a listen!

*** ***

While checking through some stuff, i came across Hippiho's comment on the absence of my dwarf hammies. (well, technically, they are my sister's)

I missed the comment out because the post had already been "pushed off" the active screen.

I shall post pictures of them soon. Been trying to take nice shots of them but somehow, it didn't come out showing how cute they really are.

Not photogenic maybe. Even the Mini Me fruits were way cuter.

*** ***

Oooooh myyyy headdd.................................