Thursday, July 29, 2004

Off to a Wedding.

Orh... Ok, now i get the origins of the terms. I knew what GG-fied meant but not how it came about. FF is new to me though. Ha, probably because aceing anything was way out of my capability anyway.
I'm really glad you like the music from Solo Piano Radio... It's a pleasure to introduce you to music you might appreciate. Haha, nice to hear that you even slept to it.
Actually, i have an opinion or two about the music, (sorry, i can be quite a critic) but well, anyway. Enjoy mate!
When i first heard it, i was pretty hooked. New Age piano, 24/7... :-)!
David Lanz's music's on as well.

Couldn't afford to sleep, no? hahhaa, had tons of work to do. *mumble*

*** ***

Hoo Boy. All that work will come to  temporary stop as i journey across the causeway from today till sunday. I hope those relatively rushed assignments will still be somewhat competent.

Ok, had a really late bath and i needed to wait for my dead cells to dry off... Since the camera was sitting tight and pretty, looking rather innocuous, i decided that my fingers were kind of trigger happyish, so...

Sigh. That's me.
The monkey who writes all this nonsense.

Fooling around with the digital camera at 1:45am. Posted by Hello

I hope you didn't throw up the last meal you took... Barfing doesn't quite leave a nice taste on your tongue now, does it?

I think i'm going to need to get ready, or hide for that matter, for and from anyone who's going to sue me for visual assault.

It's awful late and my dead cells are dry, so i bid thee Good Day. (at 2+am)

Going to leave soon. I can't say that i've never been more enthusiastic. Garn, i guess it's because my sister isn't coming along. No company to stick with among the rest of the cousins!
Went to do some laps and a little corrective tanning, in a bid to darken selected bits of myself.
Sigh. I think the darkened just got darker.

Took a stroll around JP, hunting for a pair of bright silver dangly earrings but to no avail. Or more like, none really were to my liking.

And i am pleased to say i browsed around Toys R Us... Oh, those were the days!
I'm was and am a "My Little Ponies" fan since i was a tot, they are mighty aesthetically pleasing, methinks.

Spent a little money on myself at Watsons, something i have not done for a long time. Money's been sacred recently ever since blowing the $1+k on my archery equipment.

Perhaps my mission of tiring myself out today has been 50% successful. The other unfulfilled 50% was because I wanted to go to SAFRA for a little indoor archery but they open only at 2pm, which's too late.
*whispers to the sky*
I LOVE ARCHERY... God knows how much i love it.

I need to burn off more energy... Now what else can i do? Hmm.

Till Then.
*Adious... Take care, miss me and leave me messages!!! Might post pictures from the wedding dinner when i return.*
*Gads, that (funny) smell seems to be coming from me!*

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Where there is Faith

Woke up this morning with a headache. So during Quiet Time, i asked God to take away the headache...

"Lord, please take away this headache... I'm trying my best to make time to study for my exams which is why i need push all my work foward and so i need to feel better to concentrate and do my work well..."

And you know what? I felt it EBB AWAY and i was PAIN FREE!!

Immediately, i sat up and asked myself: "Is it REALLY GONE?!"

I promised to tell the world... So here it is.

If i could give God a hug, I would smother him now.

Till Then.
*Mug, mug, mug.*

Monday, July 26, 2004

Knew i couldn't do It. *heh...*

Like i said, i knew i would be back. :-)
So people who actually read my stuff... Guess you can be assured of updates still. Just not as frequent.

*** ***

I feel like ditching this politically correct side of me, and turn bitchy-brutally honest.
It makes people laugh really, but also makes them think not so nice things about me.

I used to be that way. Honest to the point of not filtering the things i say.
Not saying i am not that way still, but to those of you who know me now, i used to be worse. Ah, so now you know.

I've toned down a lot in real life and i'm projecting the toned down image online as well, and maybe am even a shade nicer. *URGH!*

On the other hand, i am a person striving to be Christ-like. In other words, UNmean, UNbitchy, UNrude, UNsecular, UN(fill in a bad trait), etc.
So, what's to become of me.

*** ***

Hello!!! Yes... Doesn't the term just bring back memories.
What's the ff one about?

Heya. haha, i knew i wouldn't stay away for long. I am a chatterbox, and always in need of an outlet, and FAST!

*** ***

I love recent events. It's an awfully great feeling to be surrounded by friends... Specifically, friends from JC. Not long ago, Betty came over to my place for a short meet-up. Then, Phansopa came back from overseas and so we met up as a small group.
Then i had my date with the Library Gang for a belated birthday dinner at Fish and Co. (btw, i have decided that i love Fish and Co.)
Following which i ended up talking with Ivan and Ambrose consecutively on the phone till... about 1+ a.m, almost 2a.m.
Then another friend i've knwn since sec 2 kinda messaged me not long ago.
Real nice.

Yesterday... Sunday... Archery Day.
Happy is not enough to describe how i feel about it. I guess that's because i felt close to crying last week.
I did much better this week compared to last week. No more strange, distracting, deviating arrows.
This week i decided to take down my scores. I've never done so before.
(1 end=6 arrows, 1 round=6 ends, 1 round=36 arrows)
I recorded 3 rounds. It's not fantastic, but i must say it's a good start for me.
1st round: 270/360
2nd round: 274/360
3rd round: 267/360
All this was at 30m. I had one 'X'!!!
The average is a loss of 90 points or so, i guess. That means 9 perfect arrows.

I never knew singing songs in Mandarin could be so FUN.
We had a bilingual church service on saturday... so yeah.
They flashed both chinese and english on the system.
Wa, fun.
But of course i couldn't catch up at the fast parts and was too preoccupied with reading the words properly to be conscious that i should be worshipping God!
Anyway, i imagine God having a little loving smirk on his face when he hears my gibberish mandarin.

*** ***

i had better get cracking on the remainder of my arts essay. Go JO!

Will be leaving for Malaysia on thursday and back only on sunday.
I'm thinking of sneaking to the range on thursday to get my weekly doze of archery.

Till Then.
*Hug. Love you all, friends.*

Thursday, July 22, 2004

With much ado

Got this off Friendster. Somehow, it got me a little affected.
Of course it's a little loopy here and there but, the bottomline was what struck a chord inside.

"I WOULD..."

A girl and guy were speeding over 100 mph on the road...

Girl: Slow down. Im scared.
Guy: No this is fun.
Girl: No its not. Please, its too scary!
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down!
Guy: Now give me a BIG hug.*Girl hugs him*
Guy: Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself? Its bugging me.
(In the paper the next day):
A motorcycle had crashed into a building because of brake failure. 2 people were on it, but only 1 survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his brakes broke, but he didn't want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her say she loved him & felt her hug 1 last time, then had her wear his helmet so that she would live even though it meant that he would die.

*** ***
There're a few ways of looking at it.
But my brain is dwelling on the "too little" end.
Things exist in my head in faint sentences that i cannot be bothered to retrieve.
Exams are approaching, this october.
There's SO MUCH to do. Them people are crazy. Making us do assignments less than one month before the exam paper. Makes it hard to study.
Even the JC system lets us off the hook, lets us "officially" zhao classes and gives us some time alone.
Well, unless i am hopping mad with news, i think i will be on a blog hiatus.
(though i kinda doubt that cos a "too little" stage will be shortly followed by a "too much" period.)
So, take care everyone. And i mean everyone. 

Till Then.
*"Once a mugger, always a mugger".
"haha, you still remember the term 'GG-fied'"*  

Sunday, July 18, 2004


And i thought this day wouldn't come.
Garn. I actually had a bad compound shooting day.
Tell me, that's weird.
It's pretty all right for recurve, but compound? Sheeeeshhh...
For starters, i had two perpetually strange-off-target-flying arrows. Always landing on the same spot on the target sheet. No way can it be by chance. It happened in multiple sets. ANNOYING.
Then, ALTHOUGH i had quite a number of bull's eyes and 'X's, my grouping ABSOLUTELY SUCKS.
How many bull eyes you get DON'T matter. It's the grouping that matters.
I don't know what went wrong today.
I just totally flopped.
It was never this bad.
Sigh. This probably sounds like incessant monkey chatter.
Nobody would know how much this tears me to bits inside.
Coach spent some time with me after the national team left. Helped me adjust my bow (which was ALSO screwed up). Arrow rest too low, bubble not in line cos the sight was crooked...
And of course being a coach, tweaked bits of wrong posture here and there.
Oh, and he discovered how small the yellow circle looks in my scope. That means the magnification is not all that powerful. It's at +0.75.
AH HAH. SEE? So, i'm not so bad EH?
*and Jo goes momentarily insane and makes ugly faces*
*straightens, cocks head and sits down politely*
I feel like trooping myself down tomorrow to set myself straight. Waiting for sunday to come again to climb back up is no way to go.
My mindframe would've gotten negative, and that's a big fat, no-no.
I need to prove it to myself.
*** ***
Couldn't help myself. Went down to Ngee Ann City Civic Plaza.
Ok... I should've known.
Before you can even try any of the sporting activities, you need to buy something first from the Giordano or Swatch booths. Stewpid right?
I'm getting EXTREMELY unevenly tanned.
But that's the least of my worries. 
*** ***
Let me digress.
About guy friends and their cars.
There's just something about the way their young male genes/testosterone click with their car.
There's just something in the way they hold the keys as they walk towards the machine...
There's just something about the way they handle the driving picture.
It's just so sexy.
Or maybe i just haven't been driven around by friends very much, for the simple reason that i try not to sponge off rides from people.
Ok, i'm just weird.

*** ***
Attractive he might be...
Mature he might be...
Interesting he might be...
But no more will i consider such options. Never again.
*** ***

Overall: UPSET.
Till then.
*'elp... 'Elp Me!*

Saturday, July 17, 2004

Internal Jumping Bean.(edited)

Got a VERY pleasant surprise when i logged on and discovered the new format that Blogger's got.
LOVE it!!! WHOOPEE!! This is nice.
*** ***
There's something about guy friends and them driving cars... that i find rather sexy.
Hmm... Why is this so? Is it something psychological?
Any Freudian explanation for this? :-P
I want to go to Ngee Ann City to do some of the sporting activities they have!!!
ARCHERY and SPRINTING, are the ones i'm eyeing... My two loves...
But i think they're using a bare bow. Not used to those, especially after using the compound for a while.
The most i can switch from, would be from compound to recurve. But even then, i would need a bow sight to go with it. 

I'm going to get shot for this, but yeah.

Having read about the evolutionary explanation about males and females... (hard not to think about it, no? Even though it should not be a factor... biblically.)
And having heard so many horror stories...

I began to doubt that men could have any feelings of real love, are capable of commitment and complete devotion and faithfulness.

But... after a little exposure, well... it seems they are capable of deep feelings of hurt involving matters of the heart.

"Of course, we're HUMANS Jo!!!"

Well, didn't quite get that impression, quite, mates.
Faith in relationships had been dissolved as of late.

Besides... the very fact about being human... explains some things... Evolution, evolution...?

But truth be told, I'm no where near 60% convinced. Gonna need lots of it. And it's gonna take a REALLY great guy to be able to change my mind.

"So, what say you, God?"
But then, studies and a serious mate don't quite go very well.

Ok, need to go.
Been a long, slightly more eventful then usual, day.
Till Then.
*Love the new format*

Thursday, July 15, 2004

Death and Taxes

The two surest things you can get around here.

Read my bible this morning and came across some rather disturbing verses.
About how God commanded so and so not to pray for so and so, because He wouldn't listen anyway.
And the Study Bible said "God's Patience Exhausted".

I have no idea what to think!
God is suppose to be all patient and kind and loving.

Ok, perhaps he does have everlasting love, which he'll return to after a bout of anger.
Does this mean God has a temper? And has moods too?

Could it be that all his moods are justified anyway? Since he is sovereign over all?

Once again, i am thinking and wondering.
But there's only so much, i, a little tiny being can understand.

*** ***

It's sad.
The dentist who did my teeth once has passed away... From dreaded cancer.

One scary part is that his wife also had a bout with nose cancer, but is thankfully in remission now.
But the worst part of it all is that he has FOUR kids...
And, they are still pretty youngish.

My mom saw how distraught the children were when they were before their father.
It just brings tears to my heart.

It's not like his wife led an unhealthy lifestyle...

Rampant and feared.
I was told, that today, 1 in 3 people get it.

And you never know whether it spells sure death or life after it.

Till Then.
* Dad: "That's why... Count your Blessings." *

Wednesday, July 14, 2004


You are right to say that educated people (like, all rounded educated) should be and should incline towards being civil and good to their human counterparts. However, although we all hope and want to think that the educated will always be that way and should... education can also breed arrogance and snobbery. So it is with great regret that i know of people who are "cultured", "educated", "learned"... But yet fail in some most basic ways of being civil and mature. That's why i said, they are "not always nicest, most civil..."
Haha, pinch my dog's cheeks? Don't think he'll stay in one place long enough.

Serious... Perhaps those who were overseas are coming back (holidays, break from school?) and so the local bound people are die-die making time for those precious friends who're back for only a short time.
Heh, reunions are jolly wonderful things aren't they.
Wah, how could you miss Robin like that... just a block of seats away from you? And went up on stage as a "cookie" (yes, a chocolate chip cookie) also to promote our pre-Fun-O-Rama money raising stall? hehehe.

*** ***

It feels good to have a whole day free at home, which i can use to the fullest to finish some work calling for my attention with their faintly jelly-like-only-visible-to-me-arms.

Going off across the causeway at the end of this month, so, ensuring that i've completed my work is a do or die situation.

I never thought i'd say this but i actually think that the psychology essay questions in my assignment sheet all look rather interesting to attempt.

Instead of the barrage of psych MCQ questions we got from Monash during exams, we have to write essay questions for the Open University exams.

I suppose the 96 killer MCQs are for the purpose of testing students over a wide range of topics.
Essay questions can only test so much at one shot.

Sigh, which makes studying for it much tougher. Go figure.

But on the other hand, i appreciate the way the British system.
I will testify that the psych text we have are a bloodsucking, stress-inducing, sleep-snatching stacks of dead processed trees.

But at the end of the day, i realize that the purpose of the university writing the topics that way, actually benefit us as future psychologists.
Psychology is about application, and deals with real humans and humans are dynamic and complex creatures...

The way we are taught helps us to appreciate that, thus deal with the very issues we must use in future.

It's a lot better than reading discrete chapters that make no links between "this approach and that approach."

I hated the system at first because it drove me nuts into confusion but overall, i came to understand the real deal.
And i must say... Thank You Open University.

*** ***

I saw a classmate with his significant other that day. But why did he ask me out? Besides, he looks like the very decent sort.
*confused furrowed brows*

*** ***

I give all Thanks and Praise to God again!

I was having that awful bout of flu when i had a major psych report to do about a month ago?
Well, it's been returned and i got an 86!
Actually, that's like 1 mark away from an A. *wistful sigh*
But nevertheless, Thank God i pulled through that... and it was a non-substitutable assignment as well...

*** ***

I am grateful... For the friends that i have in my life.
In a space of 3 days, three people (excluding Phansopa) from my past school years got in contact with me.
It feels awfully good to know that people who've stepped into your life and though aren't seen often, step in again, on their own accord, into the picture.
Although the saying goes: Friends come and go...
I'm glad that i have friends who come, and stay.

I really appreciate you guys.
Makes me reflect on my rather individualistic style of living.

Till Then.
*Drums fingers... in (im)patience. Coach...? *

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

Transient thoughts

Pictures taken when i had a lollipop in hand. Something a greedy min pin cannot resist.

"Question?" Posted by Hello

The Importance of Being Earnest Posted by Hello

It's amazing how they seem to rearrange their facial anatomy to look so cute when there's food around.
Being the strict owner who rarely spoils him with human food, i didn't give in.
woo hoo.
But it's a lolly for goodness sake.

*** ***

Freedom comes after the pain.
I guess it must be a good thing after all.
Ah, glad i've gotten over it, and in goodwill.

I've learnt:
Never to try to convince yourself to believe that something was right or meant to be, even when deep inside, you KNOW you can feel it's wrong.
You'd only be lying to yourself and chasing something you oughtn't. And if you pursue it, you'd be going down the wrong trail.

It is so unfair how some people (or rather, this particular soul) can be so good looking... *hahaha*
Chiselled face, bright, almond brown eyes, good complexion, nice hairline, smooth hair...
And you just can't have it/...!
I promise, had my previous dog turned into a homosapien, he'd be a spankingly gorgeous human. Ok, excluding the cow-ish patches he had.

Ever since the scare, i realize that i have been more sensitive towards the needs of people-in-despair. Whether they are the afflicted, or the afflicted's relations. I no longer feel that cynical wave when i encounter anything to do with the NKF or other charitable organizations.
And i feel less indifferent than before.
I used to be pretty unfeeling. Not to say i am a saint now, but i do feel more for them.
I thank God for teaching me something... Mayhap in future i will be of help to these people when i can.

"You can come shoot at 70m, you know?"
"Erm... can 31 pounds reach anot..."
*laughs at my ludicrous question*
"Of course!" and walks away.
"can meh..."

Educated people, are not always the nicest, most civil people.

*** ***

Meeting with old ACJC classmates

Yesterday was great.

Phansopa, mah old ACJC mate returned to Singapore from studies in the UK. Having his summer holidays now.

Had such a good time meeting up with him, Teng Whye and Robin in ACJC.

It was just, unspeakably wonderful to see him, and them, back on familiar ground...
Seeing Phansopa back from so far away made everything seem like time never went by and that suddenly, the old JC atmosphere was back.

Just like nothing ever did change.

Kinda helped that he was the same too. Ha, his hair is the same, his crapping is the same, his mannerisms are the same...
I sure missed him!
Thank God for a friend like him.

We got the meet, Mr Paul Cheong, Mdm Tham, Miss Michelle Tang, Miss Phang, Miss Mahaini, my ex home chem tutor now ACJC chem teacher, Mr Harvinder Singh...
And other teachers we knew but only smiled at.
It was just SOO beautiful.

Funny i didn't feel nostalgic. I'm glad i didn't, because i would've fallen into a gloomy stupor. I was just pleased and happy to be back where we used to trod.

We visited our old classroom too, 7.12 and the other non-official 7.14.
The vibes and ghosts of the past remain...

I find it quite funny.

The old "jaga" at the main gate, wouldn't let us in without a valid reason and treated the situation as though we were potential terrorists!
But the minute you step in, everyone treats you like an old friend and treat you like a person with EVERY right to be within the school compounds.
It's the AC spirit. The Family. Can't shake it.

"No Loitering", says the "jaga".
But goodness. That's what ex students DO! LOITER! Enjoy the scenery! The landscape! Hunting down teachers... DUH!!!

I let myself down, but... no matter.

Last sunday, i was the last person at the 30m line. Remember i told you about how crowded it was?
Ok, imagine all those people standing, GATHERED not spread out, behind you as you aim to take the shot.
To make it even worse, the national coach was watching too.

And to top off the moment, i didn't take the last shot and put my bow down.
Anti-climax eh?

Reason being: My arm was shaking too much to continue. Not out of fear, but out of fatigue.
Coach said to me: Why did you stop?
I offered no answer.

The little crowd of people just took my words away.
Was stunned into momentary silence when i turned around to see the people behind me.
I feel bad about it.

I love Archery SO MUCH.


"If i (not me) leave, you won't see many of these people here anymore"

I am thinking.
Is it more important to carry on shooting for the country, despite the disdain for the new committee, OR
Is it right to fight for self protection by leaving the team altogether?

Is it a decision made by dignity, or immaturity?

If coach leaves, i am going to feel very awkward then.

Till Then.
*All... in a matter of Time.*

Sunday, July 11, 2004

Pretty tired but fulfilled

I dont want to blog tomorrow as i've just discovered, with horror that i have a zillion things to do. I have virtually one whole course book to finish reading in one week, and two assignments to do... before the end of this month.

Hoooo boy.

Ok, so i went for archery today. Must say that i am pretty ok with myself. No major, "i-so-want-to-donk-u-on-head, why-didn't-you..."

I guess all i have to learn is:
1. know when to put down even after aiming for a while. Esp so when you know it's going to be a bad shot.
2. Rest when tired. This might seem downright understood. But for someone who cannot get enough of archery, i get carried away.
3. Wait for that "ppeeaace..."
Somehow, the pin will cease to move just for a tiny instant, and the mind seems to blank and there'll be this tiny moment of space... Then you release.

I managed to get like 4 or 5 arrows into the yellow for one particular end. i.e, all 9s and 10s.
1 end=6 arrows
1 round=6 ends
1 round= 36 arrows

I was surprised at how noisy it was being next to recurve shooters.
It was mighty crowded at the 30m, 80cm target faces. I was the only compound shooter in the line.
THere're very few female compound shooters around.
Left and right, i was surrounded by "TWANGS...", "CLICKS", "ZOINGS"... "Shhhnggg"
The manifestation of the shock after one shot is quite audible.

Is it a good thing if someone can guess you're from ACJC by the way you speak? Erm... and is it a good thing if you can likewise guess if someone is from RJC from the way they speak?
HM..... i leave you to think about that.

I have finally bought an elbow guard. No, not to guard my elbow, but to guard my forearm. I am getting bruises and bad cuts faster than they can heal.
I don't have a problem with it looking ugly or anything neither do i have a problem with the pain, but they get in the way sometimes.

Spoke to coach, it seems things aren't too bad for me, although i'm not going to say it's comfirmed until i get me forms signed and handed in and approved.
Bleedin' politics.
Not that i want to gossip, but some things will concern me and i worry.

Went to pick up my elbow guard at HV and then went for the mini performance by my alma mata military band.
So, i am by all standards shagged and bushed for the day.

Toodles, loves.

Till Then.
*All for God's glory and fame"

Friday, July 09, 2004

Not me.

Uhm... ok. I guess it puts some worry away when doctors say it's a common problem. I hope that it can be cured and not just treated.
Haha, head stand?! Goodness, that's quite a psychological barrier giver indeed. I never ever brought myself close to even doing a cartwheel for fear of breaking my nack and cracking my head. Be careful ok? Getting hit and cut on my arm is nothing compared to potential injuries sustainable from a bad head stand... Be careful hor sister.
Broken families a minority? If i'm not mistaken, there was a recent article that said that divorce rates have increased already. Yeah.

Heh, maybe army guys get worse stuff than external bruises. My cousin broke a finger while another friend injured his back, or was it his leg.
Managed to hide it from my mom for one day only. The minute she saw it, she thought some person beat me up. heh heh.

*** ***

Superimpose that expression on my face and that's how i'd look. Posted by Hello

*** ***

I've added a new link "Solo Piano Radio" under Bare Essentials. For those who incline towards heartfelt, mostly on the slow-ish side, romantic, sometimes sad, piano music... This is for you.
I've loved new age piano since Eliane, a good friend, introduced me to David Lanz's music.
Enjoy it dearies.

Something interesting happened but i'm not sure of the cause. About two days ago, i had this strong urge within me to just sit down, do nothing and revel in God's presence.
As in, something inside me was telling me to sit down, spend some extended time doing nothing but let my soul commune with God.
Something was calling me, tugging at my heart. Think it lasted throughout the whole day.

The thing is, i was a stubborn old goat and didn't obey, and instead left it until the time before i slept.
This is a perfect example of how busy we humans can get that we sideline God for the sake of doing other things.
I might say: God, i want to know you, i want to see you, i want to experience you. Speak, for your servant is listening.

But then, i throw it away.
This is a perfect example of disobedience.

After i thought of it, i realized how stupid i was.
How can i POSSIBLY reject a conversation with God?
How could i treat him that way in the light of the things i have said in prayer earlier?

Such is my sinful nature.

On the other hand.
Was that prompting really from God? or was it just my inner self sounding the red light alarm, telling me that i need to rest from the turmoil around and within me.

Recently i had a talk with Ivan about God speaking.
Verdict: Maybe i had brushes of his voice but never knew it, or maybe it was just my head/emotions/hormones talking.
I can never tell the difference for sure.

Recently, while praying, each time i pose a question, i seem to have this "thing" answering me back. Just like in a dialogue. The language is nothing divine-ish sounding. Very ordinary.
Is it my hormones? My head? My conscience? God?
I sure hope i'm not getting schizophrenic.
Ok, ok, i'm not.

But still, i wonder...

You know how when matters of the heart have been stirred and then everything you see reminds of things you would rather not?
How can i live life without having these invisible donkeys with sacks trotting beside me?
It's all with God already. Why do i still get pelted?
*Get Lost you!*

For once, in my entire school life, my mom actually referred to this one particular guy that she said she really wouldn't mind if he was my boyfriend.
She said that he has her stamp of approval and she wouldn't mind at all if i bring him back home to see her.
I thought it was hilarious, the conversation.

*Wanna eat laksa* Erm.
Anyway, there're times that i find myself running on auto-pilot. I do things without thinking. And when my task is done, i simply just stand like an idiot and wait for instructions.
But there're times when my senses are on a high and my mind whizzes with so many thoughts and wonderings.
Each time i remind myself to blog it, but i forget. :oI

Cousin's wedding is coming up at the end of this month. Was suppose to have actively gone on a diet to lose some weight... keyword: "suppose".
Well, does feeling skinny count?

All righty. Click to publish. There we go.

Till Then.
*The Heavens declare... You're Glorious, Glorious."

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

Was an escapist today.

I decided yesterday that i was going to go shoot.
I needed time to myself, was troubled, and i think i was getting sick of the house.
Quite the opposite of homesickness, although both "conditions" warrant the same term...

So... Here i was this morning.

As wide a photo i could get of most of the range. It's actually L-shaped so you can't see the rest of the field. Those thingys covered in green are the target boards. Posted by Hello

Shot a few sets of 6 arrows in whatever window of time i had.

I didn't dare to take one particularly pleasing set cos someone else was there and i was kinda embarrassed about whipping out my camera.

So i only took the one below because the other archer left.

My last 6 arrows before i packed up to leave. Direct view from arrow nock end. Two 7s, two 8s, one 9 and one 10. At 30m, with a 80cm diameter target sheet. Posted by Hello

The same 6 arrows as above. Should have done better though. Posted by Hello

It's my second time going at this 80cm target at 30m. I know i can improve.
The clustering has not reached desirable tightness.
But all in all, not bad progress considering i am a weekend warrior.

And before i left...

Funny flying thingy emitting bendy chopsticks lines. Not that it's visible though. Posted by Hello

A pathetic field archery target deer. Posted by Hello

The result of my efforts. The bruise higher up was from sunday while the ugly cut and surrounding bruise near my elbow was from today. The width of the dark bit shows the approx. thickness of the bowstring. (bowstring is slighter thinner) Posted by Hello

*** ***

Thank you for your comments and tip. Always appreciate you dropping in... Keep em comin'! :-)
Yeah. In the light of what you pointed out, in this world, especially these days, i can see how fortunate and blessed i am. To be very honest with you. I could be wrong, but i get this inkling that good, "wholesome" families are hard to come by these days. There was a point in time when almost all my friends around me in school came from broken families.
Today, marriages don't last. Families break up when the children are still young and schooling. It's very sad. The very unit that makes up a person (micro level), and makes up a nation (macro level), is in danger.
Some Christians claim to be such and just follow the regime and rituals. But they do not seem to try to take the full pains, the full effort, their ALL, to uphold Christian values and God's laws.
Some Christians think pre-marital sex, drinking, and other behaviour considered poor in God's eyes, is all right and commit it. It is not.
*sigh* When trust is complete in the Lord, the peace indeed surpasses all human understanding. Once again, to be honest, i can say that this incident hit me at a rather bad and low point in my walk with God. That's why i crumbled and i felt no peace, was worried and hurt. Remember that post filled with questions? Yeah... Thoughts i should not have still haunt me although i try to shove them away and keep my mind focused on the truth.
I visited the site you recommended. Yep. What she said correlated with much of how i felt as well when i thought a lot about death's possible visit.
Before the diagnosis was out, i had very strong urges each time to tell my mom that i loved her. Yep... That's why i stress, and why many emails stress... Tell the ones you love, that you love them. I used to think it was just so understood already and cliche. But cliches being all of cliches. They reveal their value and truth once more when reality strikes. This has happened to me many times before.
Ok. About the tip on competitive sports.
-EVERYTHING is true. Enough said.-

I am a dong dong. What's TCM? I know just how you feel... I too hope that whatever it is, that it's not cancerous. I will be here if you need me.

*** ***

After archery practice, i went to City Hall to pick up the new Wow Worship(red) CD.
Tip of the Day: Always compare prices whenever possible. And most importantly... cheaper at Gramophone. *wink*

I also bought another David Lanz CD. It's one of his older albums that i've been wanting for a long time. It's his Christmas Eve Album. Very pretty music. Does anyone know how to put music on the blogger website?

I splurged today. I rarely buy CDs ever since i started school and bought my equipment.
Oh, and i finally FOUND that allan key i've been searching for. Went from clementi to HV, but futile.
The hardware store at Funan solved it all.

Looks like my chances at the national training team is at stake AGAIN.
Firstly, it is said that there might be a shuffling within the national team itself.
Secondly, the way that they choose archers for the team(s) is based on... PARTIALITY and POLITICS! *ARGGHHHH!!!*
Thirdly, coach's chances of staying is super slim.

*** ***

Archery aside. Matters of the heart also made an uprise and gave me quite a shock to the system.
Well, i'll pull through this one, in a couple of weeks.

It's the archery thing that's got me peeved.

If only things had moved faster before the AGM.

Till Then.
*Time to rebuild my relationship with God*

Tuesday, July 06, 2004

Back and Thank GOD.

Really want to say a garguantan "THANK YOU" to GOD and all the precious people who left encouraging messages.
Alwyn, Yali, J., Weizhen and Huimin...
And to Ivan as well, my bro in Christ who selflessly helped me through the troubled hours.
Words fail me again in my bid to express how thankful i am for your concern.
But you have my rock bottom heartfelt gratitude. God Bless.

She is safe. All Glory to God.

This frightening experience taught me something that was cliche to me all along.


When things were still hanging in uncertainty, i found myself thinking:
How will life be without her? How can i cope? Would we need to change our lifestyle? How about my dad? Why did i treat her that way? She may have been irritating, but i love her very much. I haven't had enough time with her on Earth to let her go yet.

The reality of the possibility of the disease striking a loved one was horrifying. It is prevalent today but having it strike your own family is an exceedingly huge blow.

What i also found, is that i am so blessed to have a dad so strongly entrenched in his faith.
In his perspective:
Imagine someone you've spent your life with, someone you love, someone you know so well, someone you have a family with, having a chance of succumbing.

But instead of him asking: "Why God?" and getting all angry and confused...
He was calm and radiated trust and faith in God... Because he knows that God's purposes are always higher then ours.

I was the one worrying.

I just want to give all Thanks and Praise to God.

I am so grateful and relieved. Although still a bit shaken by the aftermath.

But thank you Lord.

*** ***

It was a sad day on sunday.

I went to the range to find a whole bunch of archers and others milling around. Nothing like the usual quiet and peaceful range.
I hope the reason why there were so many people was because of the free buffet provided by the new president.

I shook hands with the new president of the archery association. The first question he asked me was: "Which club are you from?"

Thank Goodness i was ignorant of the fact that my club and his are not on good terms.
If i had known, my body language would've been unpolitically correct.
So, ignorance was bliss then. I answered in a totally... normal way.

I wonder if the national team are pro X OR pro Y.
(let X and Y be club names that cannot be disclosed)
Apparently, the team manager has resigned.

The thing that peeved me about that is...
Now that he has left, how am i going to start training?
I don't think the post has been filled by someone else at the moment.

I've been waiting and waiting and waiting to sign the forms which'll officially start me training in the national training team but, each time, a new obstacle will plant its feet in front of me!
Patience... Or is it disappointment control lessons, i am having?

First: bow delay
Second: Bow spoilt
Third: AGM, new committee
Fourth: resignation of team manager.

I cannot bear to predict the fifth outcome...

Coach is still waiting to see if the new committee will honour his contract.

I hope they still have some thread of MORALs in them.
Their politics makes me SICK!!!!!

Although i personally don't like the new committee, i just hope that they'll do a good job.
I wish they'd eradicate this disgusting political manipulation just to get what they want.

Sheesh. Simon would've retained his post if not for their dirty trick.

First impression of new president: Cannot shoot an arrow to save his live. (although he probably can, but he just gives me that feeling)

All in all...

I am upset because once (or if ever)(obstacles... PLEASE STOP COMING!) begin training, i have to build again, rapport and stuff with new committee.
And i don't have a good impression of them to begin with.

Nothing i can do except concentrate on shooting better and... simply wait.

Saturday, July 03, 2004

Very, very, very, worried. Worried sick.

I'm sorry that i cannot reply to the comments you guys left me as i am feeling distraught.

A worrying symptom has revealed itself in one of my family members and it is bothering me to no end.

You want to take it out on someone? Take it out on me! Please spare her.

God, have mercy.

When something like this happens, everything else fades away.
The reality of the situation grips you, drags you down, haunts you.

All those emails about urging you to tell the ones you love, that you love them flash before me.

Friday, July 02, 2004


You can sound busy even through your comment! Busy little bee. Xiuhui's birthday... Haha, the actual date, well, we can be sure THAT won't be available to us. *wink* I will ask her and see what she says.
I thought the blackout was quite exciting while it lasted. Ok, although Sg's international reputation has been said to be affected... (Well foreign investors, DON'T LOSE HOPE!!! Our infrastructure isn't as rotten as you think. Honest.)

I thought the blackout was exciting. Hehehehe. I'm weird. Was enjoying the unusual-ness of the whole thing and it was a perfect excuse to sit around.... and do nothin'! hehe.
Should get one of those battery operated fan thingys. Oh, did you know that there's ths table air-conditioner? Seriously! It's pretty cool.
Yep, influence comes in all kinds. If it's good... it'll benefit us. If bad then, perhaps we'll learn how to deal with it.

*** ***

Yesterday, I had someone scream bloody murder at me even though all i did was ask,
"Can i see the book?"

Screaming bloody murder = yelling/roaring pretty loudly, eyes wide and glaring, body language showing highly flustered state.
Pretty much like a high strung person having one chord snap.

And i was like...

Silence reigned for a few seconds...

Then, I LAUGHED SO HARD that my cup of milo joggled and i spilled some on the floor.

Jed came to lick up the spillage.

Was i insane?

I think i normally would've barked something back, like:
What have i done to you?! Why are you so rude?
But i just laughed.

I think it was just the morning. I wasn't feeling moody, or dissed, yet.
And most of all...

I found her outburst... Amusing.
That was the emotion that ran through my being after being yelled at.

Strange, we humans.
"People are Strange" - The Doors.
I am strange.

Thank God i didn't yell anything back in retaliation.
People who know me, would know that i have one hot temper, and a short fuse.

*** ***

Went for a gym workout this morning. The management finally decided to invest some money in the gym. After so many donkey years.
They ACTUALLY bought a Nautilus treadmill (quite a monstrous thing) and a Nautilus multi machine thingy.
Good stuff. It very much echoes what we had in ACJC gym.
Oh, the gym memories...

Haven't jogged in a while. I am pretty unfit. And a past knee injury doesn't make things easier.

*** ***

Going to have class tomorrow afternoon *crud* which means that i'll have to go to church on sunday carrying my arrows and i'll be in my archery garb.
Not very presentable, i must say.
True that i am there to praise God, so who cares what you wear. But it still bothers me.
What's more, we're having communion as well, that means going up to the alter.

Oh well.

I miss my bow. It's at the range stored along with the rest. I finally decided that carrying it back and forth, form west to northeast on public transport is no joke.
The stares i get make me feel like using fabric paint to write on the leather case:
"It's a COMPOUND BOW, in case you were wondering."

And then, it's so long that i always risk whacking it.
Not to mention heavy after a while.

Speaking of which.
I was on the bus to D.G. MRT station when it started getting SO crowded on the bus.
And it was only the beginning of Orchard.
I actually freaked and decided to get off and walk, barang and all.
All zee way down orchard. Boy, was it tiring.
I hate crowded buses, especially when carrying some cumbersome thing.

Spiderman... I am comin'.

Till Then.
*Totally hooked on archery. Perhaps it taps on my hunter-gatherer instincts. Heh.*