Wednesday, April 13, 2005

tug of war (updated again)

Disclaimer:
I am not in a bad mood. It's just one of those joyful yet frustrating moments in time.

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In the heat of runaway emotions, i wrote a barrage of stuff, but now, i shall just cut it short.

Words. Curiousity.
Playing around with words and snippets of curiousity.
The little dance is so... terrorizing.

Oh the thought, oh the temptation.
To say it or not?

How DO, how CAN i say it?
I was never one to. For me it's usually done the... erm... normal way.
"Yes, you first."

Perhaps that's why, in this battle, i'm probably going to lose. Because i cannot give up a part of me.
Such terrible pride.

It's my own little demise, all because of pride.
Such terrible pride.

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Was doing a little research when i came across THIS (a video on "training") and i am HORRIFIED.
Click on this to go to the website.

I don't know the authenticity of this, but i just felt that i NEEDED to put this up.

Excerpt:

"...Becky was forced to perform on an infected foot. and limped slowly and painfully, while they jabbed her and yelled at her to get her going..."


The world is a huge place so i am also inclined to believe that these things may not be too far from the truth or may be the very truth itself.


Oh Lord... how could people be so cruel?

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Listening to: Finding Nemo OST
Feeling: Like the Duracell Bunny running on unlimited battery life


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random rambles...

1.
Since i made the decision to join the worship (music) ministry in church...

Tonight, i will be joining one of the church's worship bands as an understudy. I think all i'll be doing is observing.
I think that's ok for about a month or 2, but for 3 months? I think not.
That's way too much idling.

*shrug* Whatever. Let's just see how it goes.

2.

I have always admired how some girls did their make-up so they get this Smokey Eyes look. *oooo lala!*
And... I am proud to say that i have found how to do it! *YAYYAYAYAYA!!!*

But, all things must come down to pure reality. My eyes are ALREADY dark on the lower lid, that any more black eyeliner and you'll be getting something that looks fresh out from one of your worst nightmares instead.
Rats!

Not to mention that i also wear glasses (to be fair, they are semi-funky glasses ok!) and am too freaked to wear contacts, i foresee that going smokey eyed might just be the joke of the day for any random person on the bus/mrt/street.
Rats!

Looks like i gotta just keep to my usual then. Me is black eye shadow and mascara person. ON UPPER LID ONLY... PERIOD.
It's not goth k? It's just a ditch effort to optically enlarge my tiny eyes.

3.

Can someone say D-O-N-E?
LET ME HEAR YOU SAY DONE! FINITO! ACCOMPLISHED! LET OFF THE HOOK! FREE-DERRRMMMMmmmmmmMM!!!

All right, that's over doing it. I only have a coupla days before it's back to the same old grind. I better go do my math.

I need to interview MOTHERS with kids under 6 now for the next assignment and do a report.
AND,
MORE intensive, confusing cognitive psych report experimental thingy.

Aye, not easy one ok? Very time consuming and must be professional one hor.

This is too much.
TWO NONE ESSAYS TO HAND UP TOGETHER.
LESS THAN A MONTH TO FINISH.
I am going to go insane.

This will make good reality TV.

Believe me, i am thinking things that you don't want to hear.

But on the other paw, i know that my GOD IS WITH ME. He will grant me strength to restart the Duracell Bunny mode.

I have my bull headedness (which reminds that i haven't eaten in about 11 hours) despite all my, erm, pitiful, attention-seeking complaints. (aw, cut me a little slack won't you)

Being a bull head sure helps.

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