Monday, May 23, 2005

Manners... is VERY attractive. Guys...?

I was shocked when he stepped into my granny's place. The last time i saw him was about a year ago and BEFORE that meeting in church, i hadn't seen him in YEARS.

B and i have been childhood friends but up to late primary school, i never got to see him much anymore because he was always jetting off to some other part of the world. Family matters, school matters.

Anyway, all that is besides the point i want to make.

One of my pet peeves (familiar line? *wink*) is when guys don't know how to treat a girl's parents.

Sure, you can be all gentlemanly to a girl, but you know, what you REALLY NEED TO DO, WHAT YOU REALLY NEED TO DO TO SCORE...

It's NOT just about the girl.
It is also about how you are able to carry yourself in front of her folks and how you treat her folks.

Really, i cringe and you know, i want to hand social etiquette books out:
"The Idiot's Guide to Winning a Girl's Parents' Favour."

But that would be really hurtful but hey, you know. DEAL WITH IT. Because it's the truth and the truth HURTS.

So what has this got to do with B today?

Well, B is not part of our family by blood, but he is my uncle's godson so he is more than welcome to join us in family activites.

After dinner, as we gathered outside the hotel to say our goodbyes and part ways, B, the extremely tall, tanned, deep voiced guy he is...

Came up from behind, up to my short grandmother, got her attention, looked right at her sincerely, warmly shook her hand and said: "Sheng Ri Kuai Le" in his slightly American accented Mandarin.

("Sheng Ri Kuai Le" means "Happy Birthday" in mandarin. Thanks HippiHo, heh.)

He is not even part of our family, and he doesn't really know my granny, so... What manners he has!
I was impressed.

You might say, "Well, he OUGHT to, because after all, he is a kind of stranger."

But you know, even her own grand children, yes me, didn't do that for her, but look at him.
(hey, but i semi-hugged her ok?)

I am impressed by his warmth for someone he does not know, the kind of consideration, thoughtfulness, manners, and PRESENCE OF MIND that he had. Brilliant.

Small issue? Not to me. It speaks volumes to me.

I think most people would just go, "Wah, so full liao, i wanna go home slack man... wanna go sleep liao/play PS2/etc."

I am NO perfect example of manners myself. And i think i suck at leaving good impressions on parents as well.
Man, I have a lot to learn from him.
(especially when dealing with one pest of a cousin. Pffftt. Patience, Patience!)

So how does this translate to impressing parents?

Well, manners learnt=manners shown towards others=manners shown towards folks=you get points=very good for your record book


This is not a textbook or reference book so no hard and fast rules here.
Though i think one thing is definitely, RESPECT. Which needs to be tangible, not just "yeah, i respect wad."

When you show respect:
- you abide by the rules that the girl has to follow as well.
- you acknowledge her parents' presence and make an effort to be nice to them even if you don't like them. You talk and listen with respect.
- you don't push for your way unreasonably.

So far, that's all i can think of, for respect. There's certainly more...

Respect is like, the basic.
But you know, if you want to add the "frills"... Ok lah, not really frills but it will win you points...
Warmth, confidence, sincerity, presence of mind with the situation at hand, helpfulness.

In general i think, this should help you lah. So... go figure!

I must also learn how to put these into practice. Aiiiii...

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