Monday, November 22, 2004

Some things don't seem to end, does it. (skip, to spare yourself something sappy)

Thanks for that bit of info there mate.
Let's up it a little.
What if the individuals had been apart for much more than just months?
Enough time for each of them to attempt to find love with other people.
Hm, say, 4 or 5 years, maybe more?

*** ***

Thoughts flow and emotions follow in hot pursuit.
For being too investive.
For being too nostalgic.
For feeling so much.
For having such a... theatrical, full coloured, surround sound, movie-like enabled memory.

Why did it have to happen?
I look up into the serene blue sky of understanding. But all i can do is look?
I'm dangling on the rope, close to the opening, but hanging, in mid air over a long, deep, dank, dark hole.
I've come a long way.

I got pushed back in. But.
Conversely, i can struggle out again. Pull and grapple for freedom once again.
I should be able to do it.

But even then, what closure do i get for pulling myself out? For doing it myself?
Blue sky not so clear after all.

As you are human (you do possess feelings) as am i human as well (human flesh prone to weakness) i hope that there is some reason.
Be it a simple/rash/harmless/minutely tiny/polite reason...
A reason, would be nice.

I cannot ask you why. Who am i to you, to ask you why?
I cannot expect anything. Who am i to you, to expect anything?

I can only say how i feel here, knowing full well there's only a 0.0000000000001 chance that you'll see this.

Well, never mind.

In fact, i shouldn't be feeling teased.
I am fine, in control. Have always been for a while now.
There's no reason why i should not be the same, even now.
But... it's you i'm talking about.

I bet you don't feel the pain anymore. I doubt you do. It's been pretty clear.
Course, not that it's a bad thing. :-)

Being the fella i am, i feel too much for my own good over certain things.

Some things change and some things don't seem to end.

*** ***

Been a month after the exams and it hasn't stopped, though maybe, just maybe, signs of slowing is in order. WOOT!

Let's see. BBQ, archery clubhouse business and competition self-training, Gym, Badminton, meeting friend, church and archery.
That's my whole week, one day at a time, in summary.

I would've said "I don't know if i should laugh or cry".
But i guess, laughing is a better option.
May i add, hysterically.

I am chugging on, chugging on. Every day has an agenda.
In more ways than one. (?)

Till Then.
*off to the bbq. I HOPE, the chicken tastes like something decent*

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