Thursday, November 04, 2004

Ramble Mode. (I)

The Walk, with my Lord.

Life has been interesting of late.
Though maybe not always for reasons i favour though, but still. Life is not a straight droning line like the way it was a few weeks back.

With the exams out of the way, i suddenly discover "that there IS a social life". (haha, courtesy of classmate!)

It's been great in the area of the Christian walk. I am not saying that i've experienced wonders and great closeness with God.
What i do know is, is that my life is inching, very slowly, but inching still, towards God.

And i am finding myself drawing millimetre by millimetre closer to Him, increasing my faith, getting to know more Christian brothers and sisters and talking to them about life and God.

I am always grateful that God has placed each and every one of them in my life. They are all here for a purpose and i hope that things will get better and better as life proceeds on.

*** ***


Loads of birthdays coming up this month and in december. Including yours truly.
I am not saying that to hint anything LAH.

Thinking back on how birthdays have been in the past...
I don't really like noisy surprises and embarrassing, centre-of-attention kind of birthday celebrations.
I just like being with the ones i love. I don't need to be surprised.
And... an ang pow would be nice. *grin*

Been spending a lot on archery these days and also when i go out to meet friends to catch up. Unfortunately, i am not thinking of working because for one, the time available is rather short for work and i think, i think, i have other things i'd much rather devote my time to.

*** ***


My inner being feels somewhat hanging in limbo, and i feel like its chattering away and going through all sorts of emotions. Another side of me is calm, still and drifting.
How would one explain this in psychological terms? *hm.*

*** ***

Last Sunday.

Coach: So Joline, when are you going to join us?
(you have NO IDEA how long i've been waiting to hear you say that!)
Joline: (feels a surge of hope about the training team matters but decides to play safe... 8-<) ... You mean shoot 70m?
Coach: Yeah.
Joline: Erm.
Coach: I think i'll pull you in next week.
Joline: I only just started shooting 50m.
Coach: You only started shooting 50m...
Joline: Yeah. (looks at him wondering what he's going to say)
Coach: 70m next week ah? (walks off)
Joline: (summons up existing pluck and speaks in all the confidence i could muster) OK.

Glory Jo, what did you just get yourself into?
My scope is only a x6 one! How am i going to have enough of yellow to let my red aiming dot drift within?

Shooting with the national team. That's all well, good, wonderful and FINALLY.
What good is that if i do not undergo the proper training?

Annneeewaayy, i am not going to be ungrateful. I will just take things as they come.
Hopefully, that opportunity i was given so long ago will come to pass.

*** ***

It's Christmas? Already?

I just heard an advert proclaiming some Christmas offer on the radio. I don't know about you, but it actually feels odd that Christmas is approaching. Somehow, i get this notion that it's here... too early? It's kind of, out of place?
The time that has lapsed feels like we should only be in June now and not November.

Well, as much as i don't like the way Christmas has become in this little country of ours, i have to admit that i like the approaching anticipation of the day itself.

On the OTHER hand, i don't like it because once the day itself passes on, i feel as if:
I am left in a dark room with a deflated ballon in my left hand and a popped party gun in the right hand coupled with a party hat on my head on the verge of slipping off. And there's the feeling of indignance.

What happens is that the Christmas atmosphere is built up and then once it's over, it feels like everything gets abruptly chopped short.
Everything just returns to the normal drone and bustle again.

To me, that's depressing.
Not to say that i wish to perceive Christmas the way the general society does, but you get my drift right.
It's just the way it affects you.

I just thought this post was getting too long, so i've decided to break it up.

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