Saturday, November 20, 2004

Feeling... Emo.

Had a perfect ending to friday. After a long, smelly, bo liao-ish day at the indoor range, i STILL got to meet up with my treasured JC friends.
For reasons of privacy, who they are and information shall not be disclosed.

We had a great time despite the short meet up. (Quality, Quality!) Well, I wish it had lasted longer. But never mind, it was oh so good seeing them. It hardly feels as if 2 years have passed since we got out from ACJC.

I'm the sort that enjoys long and drawn out time spent with girl friends. I prefer spending a whole day with them without the need for any of us rushing off at a certain time to attend to something else.
The feeling of not wanting the precious day to end.

Suddenly feeling so happy yet sad. Happy for that wonderful indulgence in friendship but sadness that it ended so soon. As if, my life support system just got cut off.

*** ***

I've been hearing about this thing from a few friends lately, and i must say...
Hm, must be the season or something.

So, the question i shall ask is, "Can love between exes rekindle itself?"
(ok people! Stop moaning!)

Duh, ok, i suppose one of the most obvious answers that i think would be shot back at me would be, "Depends on the circumstances."
Circumstances encompasses about a gazillion things, and i shall so not bother about listing them down.

There's this pastor from my church who told us that when he was in secondary school, he saw THE girl and KNEW she was going to be HIS WOMAN. They dated but thing is, things didn't go right then.

They went their separate ways and had their other relationships.

But surprise surprise. God brought them back together and today, they are happily MARRIED.

So, he wasn't wrong after all eh?

Anyway, i've been slapping myself both mentally and physically recently. (yes, slapping physically is done in private at least. You don't believe? Then, you don't know me.)

Sometimes, i need to get a grip when my head runs off with my emotions. Cut those stupid thoughts on their tracks and tell self to WAKE UP.
I don't advocate doing it but it helps me refocus, nod mechanically and go back to who i am and where i am.

I feel so... :-(
Can anyone ever live up to it? Everyone is different and i cannot impose such standards on anyone, now can i?

It's 3am, i neeeeeeed to ramble but i am living at this point in constant fear of mommy/daddy thrusting my room door open and hissing at me to go to bed.
Following which, i would get a scolding the next morning.

I think my adrenalin is going to an all time high. Fear, fear!
Ok, shall go. Invisible hands are tearing me away from my perch in front of the laptop.

TIll Then.
*Dettol makes me smell like... Gleneagles*

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