Introduction to Family: (COMPLETED. HALLELUJAH!)
Genogram x 1 (DONE)
Role Play x 1 (DONE)
Case Study x 1 (DONE)
MCQ Test x 1 (DONE)
Overall Grade: A- (PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Group Counselling:
Individual Paper x 1 (IN PROGRESS)
Co-facilitator's Paper x 1 (STATUS: WHAT?!)
Transcripting x 1 (IN PROGRESS)
Group Counselling with Violent Youths Presentation x 1 (DONE)
Advanced Counselling:
Big Fat Essay x 1 (Panicking)
Psychopathology and Appraisal:
Case Study Presentation x 1 (IN PROGRESS)
3000 word essay x 1 (THINKING: How to do...)
Topic Presentation x 1 (DONE, waiting for group mate to do his edits)
MCQ Test x 1
***
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
classroom = altar call room
My God heals the sick, grows out legs (elongate) for people who have one leg shorter than the other (He does! Just ask my pastor who witnessed it first hand... i will be glad to introduce you to her), He gets cancer tumours out of people, restores sight, hearing, mobility, everything! He basically specializes in the humanly impossible. God is AWESOME!
I have 2 classmates in my class who just recently got diagnosed with back problems and I'm hearing one of them wince in pain week after week. I want so bad to bring God's kingdom into my class, to my classmates. I want to see my classmates' eyes and hearts become open and receptive to Jesus. I want to be that child of God who's working out her faith so that His greatness is shown. Like, i want my classroom to be an altar call area for people to be captivated by Christ, to want to be prayed for and to be healed (in any way, physically, emotionally, etc) because Jesus HEALS! I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to. I want Jesus to be known! I really want people to see and know that Jesus is REAL and that they are loved.
I had a thought a few days ago, which is to pray for one particular classmate, and the thought has been bugging me for a few days. I have so much fear. Yet, it is not about how big my faith is that matters, but rather, it is who i put that tiny bit of faith IN. Because it isn't me who is going to heal anyone, it is Jesus.
Imagine, if one classmate is prayed for and experieces God's love and healing, wouldn't that start a mini frenzy of sorts? I don't know for sure... But if God willing, that would be the start of a kind of revival NIE needs, the kind of revival NTU, our schools, Singapore needs!
God's people need to move in faith to bring Jesus to the people. How? If i want to experience things i've never experienced before, i need to do things that i've never done before.
How? GOD! Give me that SUPER CLEAR opportunity please? And can you tell me in my face that that IS THE opportunity? Cos you know your daughter can be duh-blur one.
But of course, there are times when God does not heal and it feels lousy but still, it is an exercise of faith, to still have faith when we see nothing obvious happen. That's what faith is about, isn't it? I guess i worry about what the person i prayed for might think... but that... isn't really my business, come to think of it. My job is to simply obey joyfully. :-) It's God's issue to take up with that person. Not mine.
I have 2 classmates in my class who just recently got diagnosed with back problems and I'm hearing one of them wince in pain week after week. I want so bad to bring God's kingdom into my class, to my classmates. I want to see my classmates' eyes and hearts become open and receptive to Jesus. I want to be that child of God who's working out her faith so that His greatness is shown. Like, i want my classroom to be an altar call area for people to be captivated by Christ, to want to be prayed for and to be healed (in any way, physically, emotionally, etc) because Jesus HEALS! I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to. I want Jesus to be known! I really want people to see and know that Jesus is REAL and that they are loved.
I had a thought a few days ago, which is to pray for one particular classmate, and the thought has been bugging me for a few days. I have so much fear. Yet, it is not about how big my faith is that matters, but rather, it is who i put that tiny bit of faith IN. Because it isn't me who is going to heal anyone, it is Jesus.
Imagine, if one classmate is prayed for and experieces God's love and healing, wouldn't that start a mini frenzy of sorts? I don't know for sure... But if God willing, that would be the start of a kind of revival NIE needs, the kind of revival NTU, our schools, Singapore needs!
God's people need to move in faith to bring Jesus to the people. How? If i want to experience things i've never experienced before, i need to do things that i've never done before.
How? GOD! Give me that SUPER CLEAR opportunity please? And can you tell me in my face that that IS THE opportunity? Cos you know your daughter can be duh-blur one.
But of course, there are times when God does not heal and it feels lousy but still, it is an exercise of faith, to still have faith when we see nothing obvious happen. That's what faith is about, isn't it? I guess i worry about what the person i prayed for might think... but that... isn't really my business, come to think of it. My job is to simply obey joyfully. :-) It's God's issue to take up with that person. Not mine.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
a draft written on the 18th of oct 2008
I finally realized something. I realized why i used to get so "jaded" and critical during worship in church. It's because i did not sustain my own worship life outside of church.
When i say i "don't sustain", i don't mean i stop being a Christian. It just means that i don't engage with God as much as i want to. I often get too busy to talk to Him and so keep in step with Him.
You see. Every time i come to church and i go for prayer and worship with my team, or with the whole church, i feel as if i have to switch on "the whole close eyes, lift hands, holy moly actions, yada yada". But that's BECAUSE... i don't even continue my worship life outside church! OF COURSE i would feel like i have to switch on and switch off "the mode". It's suppose to be... ON the whole time.
But then, i also had the realization that worship does not HAVE to consist of those physical actions i mentioned. In actuality, u can worship any how you want to. The word i got was, "Freedom". Freedom to do anything u want, anything tt shows the Lord your heart's posture of worship.
Which is why, when i come to church after a week of conscientiously keeping quiet time, i come for worship and prayer feeling more refreshed, happy and REAL. The worship is genuine and wholehearted. The only difference is that i am now worshipping with others!
When i say i "don't sustain", i don't mean i stop being a Christian. It just means that i don't engage with God as much as i want to. I often get too busy to talk to Him and so keep in step with Him.
You see. Every time i come to church and i go for prayer and worship with my team, or with the whole church, i feel as if i have to switch on "the whole close eyes, lift hands, holy moly actions, yada yada". But that's BECAUSE... i don't even continue my worship life outside church! OF COURSE i would feel like i have to switch on and switch off "the mode". It's suppose to be... ON the whole time.
But then, i also had the realization that worship does not HAVE to consist of those physical actions i mentioned. In actuality, u can worship any how you want to. The word i got was, "Freedom". Freedom to do anything u want, anything tt shows the Lord your heart's posture of worship.
Which is why, when i come to church after a week of conscientiously keeping quiet time, i come for worship and prayer feeling more refreshed, happy and REAL. The worship is genuine and wholehearted. The only difference is that i am now worshipping with others!
Thursday, March 26, 2009
First things first. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISS L!
Miss L is my long time jc mate and boy, have we been through a fair bit... But we always know that our friendship is worth... uh, there's no worth to match it with, it is priceless, it has crossed to the infinitely qualitive, and that's what makes us carry on as good friends after all these years though we don't meet up often at all. My friend for life! :oD
***
Introduction to Family:
Genogram x 1 (Due: 30th April, NOT DONE)
Role Play x 1 (Due: 30th April) (IMPROMPTU?!)
Case Study x 1 (DONE)
MCQ Test x 1 (DONE)
Group Counselling:
Individual Paper x 1 (IN PROGRESS)
Co-facilitator's Paper x 1 (STATUS: WHAT?!)
Transcripting x 1 (IN PROGRESS)
Group Counselling with Violent Youths Presentation x 1 (DONE)
Advanced Counselling:
Big Fat Essay x 1 (Panicking)
Psychopathology and Appraisal:
Case Study Presentation x 1 (IN PROGRESS, Due: 6th April)
3000 word essay x 1
Topic Presentation x 1 (DONE, but need to edit ppt slides for final submission!)
MCQ Test x 1
***
In other news. I passed my driving final theory test! FINALLY. FINNNAAALLLYYYY!!!!!
It took me 7 (what a nice God inspired number... God made everything in "7 days") long beautiful years for me to feel ready in mind and soul and spirit and body and emo and... you get the idea, to take up the driving challenge. I think i mentioned this before. When i finished my A levels, i went ahead just like most other JC students to go get their licenses. Once i passed my basic theory though, i just lost it because i wasn't keen on studying some more for final theory (tired of studying after A levels) and more so, i was just freaking out at the thought of driving.
SO YES. Now that i am READY, i can go for lessons any time now! I AM ELATED! (But i don't feel the elation until someone reminds me about it. I think it's because i'm too busy with school right now)
Imagine... I can soon be using the car to move around and get myself home in double quick time.
All righty. Time to go. Big thanks to everyone who has been cheering me on here and in your own ways. :-) I'm really encouraged and touched. :-)
Miss L is my long time jc mate and boy, have we been through a fair bit... But we always know that our friendship is worth... uh, there's no worth to match it with, it is priceless, it has crossed to the infinitely qualitive, and that's what makes us carry on as good friends after all these years though we don't meet up often at all. My friend for life! :oD
***
Introduction to Family:
Genogram x 1 (Due: 30th April, NOT DONE)
Role Play x 1 (Due: 30th April) (IMPROMPTU?!)
Case Study x 1 (DONE)
MCQ Test x 1 (DONE)
Group Counselling:
Individual Paper x 1 (IN PROGRESS)
Co-facilitator's Paper x 1 (STATUS: WHAT?!)
Transcripting x 1 (IN PROGRESS)
Group Counselling with Violent Youths Presentation x 1 (DONE)
Advanced Counselling:
Big Fat Essay x 1 (Panicking)
Psychopathology and Appraisal:
Case Study Presentation x 1 (IN PROGRESS, Due: 6th April)
3000 word essay x 1
Topic Presentation x 1 (DONE, but need to edit ppt slides for final submission!)
MCQ Test x 1
***
In other news. I passed my driving final theory test! FINALLY. FINNNAAALLLYYYY!!!!!
It took me 7 (what a nice God inspired number... God made everything in "7 days") long beautiful years for me to feel ready in mind and soul and spirit and body and emo and... you get the idea, to take up the driving challenge. I think i mentioned this before. When i finished my A levels, i went ahead just like most other JC students to go get their licenses. Once i passed my basic theory though, i just lost it because i wasn't keen on studying some more for final theory (tired of studying after A levels) and more so, i was just freaking out at the thought of driving.
SO YES. Now that i am READY, i can go for lessons any time now! I AM ELATED! (But i don't feel the elation until someone reminds me about it. I think it's because i'm too busy with school right now)
Imagine... I can soon be using the car to move around and get myself home in double quick time.
All righty. Time to go. Big thanks to everyone who has been cheering me on here and in your own ways. :-) I'm really encouraged and touched. :-)
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
schoolverk update 2 (updated, bold=new development)
Intro to Family:
Genogram x 1
Case Study x 1 (DONE)
Role Play x 1
MCQ Test x 1 (DONE)
Group Counselling:
Individual Paper x 1 (IN PROGRESS)
Co-facilitator's Paper x 1
Transcribing x 1 (IN PROGRESS)
Group Counselling with Violent Youths Presentation x 1 (DONE)
Advanced Counselling:
Big Fat Essay x 1
Psychopathology and Appraisal:
Case Study Presentation x 1 (IN PROGRESS)
3000 word essay x 1
Topic Presentation x 1 (DONE, but need to edit ppt slides for final submission!)
MCQ Test x 1
Chiong ah!
To my friends who have been patient with me: thanks so much for your understanding and i need er, more understanding, as you can see... Hoho.
I slept so badly last night because my mind was so anxious and kept waking me up to think about whether i should go back to my work. I was tempted once but i figured no point sleeping so little and feeling deflated throughout the day. Ironically, i am already feeling sleepy because of my failed attempt to sleep and waking up multiple times.
***
In other news, my dad blessed me with a netbook! In times like these as an older but a non-working-still-studying child, i'm appreciating things a lot more, taking less things for granted, feeling more thankful for what i've been given. (although i feel guilt!)
My current 15" lappie gives me arm and shoulder aches (my biceps actually get a good workout and they ache the next day even) every time i bring it out to do work and it's been a source of inconvenience although it is definitely more powerful. Since i inherited it from my dad, he understands the problem and i guess that was what made him more empathetic towards my needs.
I was really surprised at how readily he gave me the freedom to decide if i wanted the netbook. Usually, i would be the one trying to convince him and he would be the one telling me to think about whether i really needed it. This time it was the other way around. The option was there to get it and it was my decision as to whether i wanted to go ahead.
So now i have a lovely white Lenovo S10, called Lenny. All the lappies i've had have names... :-)
Adele (Dell): my first proper lappie of my own
AyeSirMajorGeneral (Acer): my current lappie
Lenny (Lenovo): my portable mini-me (Gem helped me name it. i said 'how about mini-me'? and he said, 'how about lenny'? I thought Lenny sounded nicer, so Lenny it is!)
I had decided to get it in black at first because the cumulative dirt will be less visible. But when i took a second look at the white, i halted the salesguy at the IT show and said i wanted white instead because if i didn't change it, i knew i would regret it! Although now i have to face the consequences of seeing a greying/browning lappie over time. Eeee. Usually i am a sorta practical person, but i figured since AyeSir was black and i use it more often anyways, it won't hurt to get a white one that i would use more only when i go out.
Adele is still alive though she once threatened to crash some time ago... That was when my dad rushed to get me an external hard drive to save everything. She's kinda slow in processing things now and her screen is riddled with these burnout lines (i think). I think i'll go clean her up (file & program-wise) one of these days when i'm done with assignments.
Genogram x 1
Case Study x 1 (DONE)
Role Play x 1
MCQ Test x 1 (DONE)
Group Counselling:
Individual Paper x 1 (IN PROGRESS)
Co-facilitator's Paper x 1
Transcribing x 1 (IN PROGRESS)
Group Counselling with Violent Youths Presentation x 1 (DONE)
Advanced Counselling:
Big Fat Essay x 1
Psychopathology and Appraisal:
Case Study Presentation x 1 (IN PROGRESS)
3000 word essay x 1
Topic Presentation x 1 (DONE, but need to edit ppt slides for final submission!)
MCQ Test x 1
Chiong ah!
To my friends who have been patient with me: thanks so much for your understanding and i need er, more understanding, as you can see... Hoho.
I slept so badly last night because my mind was so anxious and kept waking me up to think about whether i should go back to my work. I was tempted once but i figured no point sleeping so little and feeling deflated throughout the day. Ironically, i am already feeling sleepy because of my failed attempt to sleep and waking up multiple times.
***
In other news, my dad blessed me with a netbook! In times like these as an older but a non-working-still-studying child, i'm appreciating things a lot more, taking less things for granted, feeling more thankful for what i've been given. (although i feel guilt!)
My current 15" lappie gives me arm and shoulder aches (my biceps actually get a good workout and they ache the next day even) every time i bring it out to do work and it's been a source of inconvenience although it is definitely more powerful. Since i inherited it from my dad, he understands the problem and i guess that was what made him more empathetic towards my needs.
I was really surprised at how readily he gave me the freedom to decide if i wanted the netbook. Usually, i would be the one trying to convince him and he would be the one telling me to think about whether i really needed it. This time it was the other way around. The option was there to get it and it was my decision as to whether i wanted to go ahead.
So now i have a lovely white Lenovo S10, called Lenny. All the lappies i've had have names... :-)
Adele (Dell): my first proper lappie of my own
AyeSirMajorGeneral (Acer): my current lappie
Lenny (Lenovo): my portable mini-me (Gem helped me name it. i said 'how about mini-me'? and he said, 'how about lenny'? I thought Lenny sounded nicer, so Lenny it is!)
I had decided to get it in black at first because the cumulative dirt will be less visible. But when i took a second look at the white, i halted the salesguy at the IT show and said i wanted white instead because if i didn't change it, i knew i would regret it! Although now i have to face the consequences of seeing a greying/browning lappie over time. Eeee. Usually i am a sorta practical person, but i figured since AyeSir was black and i use it more often anyways, it won't hurt to get a white one that i would use more only when i go out.
Adele is still alive though she once threatened to crash some time ago... That was when my dad rushed to get me an external hard drive to save everything. She's kinda slow in processing things now and her screen is riddled with these burnout lines (i think). I think i'll go clean her up (file & program-wise) one of these days when i'm done with assignments.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
just to give u an insight into my school life at the moment...
I have a TON OF WORK:
Intro to Family:
Genogram x 1
Case Study x 1
Role Play x 1
MCQ Test x 1
Group Counselling:
Individual Paper x 1
Co-facilitator's Paper x 1
Transcripting x 1
Group Counselling with Violent Youths Presentation x 1
Advanced Counselling:
Essay x 1
Psychopathology and Appraisal:
Case Study Presentation x 1
3000 word essay x 1
Topic Presentation x 1
MCQ Test x 1
Guess what. NONE HAVE BEEN COMPLETED NOR STUDIED FOR. DEADLINES ARE COMING UP WITHIN THE NEXT 4 WEEKS.
You tell me how? Very dead right.
I need isolation to get all this DONE!
ARGHGHGHGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Intro to Family:
Genogram x 1
Case Study x 1
Role Play x 1
MCQ Test x 1
Group Counselling:
Individual Paper x 1
Co-facilitator's Paper x 1
Transcripting x 1
Group Counselling with Violent Youths Presentation x 1
Advanced Counselling:
Essay x 1
Psychopathology and Appraisal:
Case Study Presentation x 1
3000 word essay x 1
Topic Presentation x 1
MCQ Test x 1
Guess what. NONE HAVE BEEN COMPLETED NOR STUDIED FOR. DEADLINES ARE COMING UP WITHIN THE NEXT 4 WEEKS.
You tell me how? Very dead right.
I need isolation to get all this DONE!
ARGHGHGHGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, March 05, 2009
Monday, March 02, 2009
OCBC Cycle Singapore with La! 22 Feb 2009 Sunday
At about late 6ish in the morning. La kindly offered to take a picture of me and my east coast species type of mountain bike. 'New G-sports' or something like that. Go figure. ;o)
La with her own bike. La is super pro one ok.
This was taken before we began, somewhere at the back end of the starting line queue.
Still waiting for our race to begin. Drastic change in lighting hor. La giving me a cute smile
Us!
I REALLY love this picture! What happened was we u-turned into East Coast Park and started alongside the sea. I was so overwhelmed by the beautiful view of the sea and how the morning sun was shining down on the water, making it glint and sparking...
So... this is one for the memories!
Nice accidental photo taken by La. :o)
I really have La to thank for snapping pictures of me for me to remember the event by... I can't handle a bike and a camera as well as her to take decent photos!
Ok, i tried to take one. This was the only full body shot i managed to take. La was so cute... When we rode next to one another so that she could pass me her phone she said: "Jo... If you cannot (manage) right, just drop the phone ok and save your life..."
HAHAHAHHAHAHA... So funny but i was like, awww...
Another cute picture of us at the last aid station where we could get free 100 plus. I tell you, chilled 100 plus tasted heavenly after 2 plus hours of hard cycling. But the sun was SO HOT that the drinks warmed up so quickly.
Ah... the finishing stretch... Which was devoid of people to support others coming in from the race. Haiyo. In running events, there're always people standing by the finishing line cheering their friends and strangers on.It was quite an experience, and a new one at that. I really prayed for God's protection since cycling isn't my forte and there were like at least 3000-4000 people cycling on that day.
It was certainly more fun cycling with a friend than cycling all alone... I knew La could go faster than me but she stayed beside me all the way from start to end and i was really quite thankful for her patience and willingness to accomodate me. It's a lot easier to zoom right off when one is very much able to but she chose to stay... :o) Thanks La. *beam*
(i have this inkling that the alignment of photos and text are all wonky. ah well.)
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Van and i have planned to go watch Marley and Me! But we sure did not know that, when we took this photo... Somewhere either in Dec or Jan at some MRT station. It was after a party at Dom's place.Cute right......................... Heh heh.
(if you're thinking: "that looks like some PE attire you're wearing Jo." Well, yes it was. We were suppose to come dressed to the party in our old school uniform. Only Joy and i did!)
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
"Xiaojie xiaojie! Ting yi xia!" (include a line in dialect that means the same thing)
("Miss, miss, please stop!")
*jo turns around to see a hulking guy chasing from behind holding what looks like a magazine. does not notice this face.*
"Wo shi zhe ke ren..." *guy points at a photo of himself on a magazine photoshoot*
*at this, jo glances upwards slightly and with her peripheral vision, instantly recognizes the man!*
"Ni yao zhuo model mah?"
("Do you want to be a model?")
*jo waves hand at him to indicate "no" and smiles as politely (and uneasily) as possible and backs off*
"Ni shi xing jia po ren mah?"
("Are you singaporean?")
*jo says 'uh yes', and continues to back off and then turns to walk briskly away*
Guess who the man was? hint: the unfamous personality who lurks around orchard looking for girls to allow him to shape their eyebrows for them.
OH MAN... it was my first ever brush with this guy on the streets and i was alone and quite terrified! And so not flattered.... HAHHAHAHAHAA. But very amused!
He is actually taller than i had imagined him to be. And quite elaborately dressed... Like, glam streetwear and bling. (Er, not that i know what that really means but that was the first impression i got) Honestly, i really wonder how he survives living in Singapore. What does he do for a living? Does he have any family and actual friends? And more interestingly, how in the world does he constantly keep up his bizarre behaviour and personal opinions and viewpoints? Is he really, really like that?
("Miss, miss, please stop!")
*jo turns around to see a hulking guy chasing from behind holding what looks like a magazine. does not notice this face.*
"Wo shi zhe ke ren..." *guy points at a photo of himself on a magazine photoshoot*
*at this, jo glances upwards slightly and with her peripheral vision, instantly recognizes the man!*
"Ni yao zhuo model mah?"
("Do you want to be a model?")
*jo waves hand at him to indicate "no" and smiles as politely (and uneasily) as possible and backs off*
"Ni shi xing jia po ren mah?"
("Are you singaporean?")
*jo says 'uh yes', and continues to back off and then turns to walk briskly away*
Guess who the man was? hint: the unfamous personality who lurks around orchard looking for girls to allow him to shape their eyebrows for them.
OH MAN... it was my first ever brush with this guy on the streets and i was alone and quite terrified! And so not flattered.... HAHHAHAHAHAA. But very amused!
He is actually taller than i had imagined him to be. And quite elaborately dressed... Like, glam streetwear and bling. (Er, not that i know what that really means but that was the first impression i got) Honestly, i really wonder how he survives living in Singapore. What does he do for a living? Does he have any family and actual friends? And more interestingly, how in the world does he constantly keep up his bizarre behaviour and personal opinions and viewpoints? Is he really, really like that?
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
I recently told a youth pastor that, "it is ridiculous that i am in counselling (a counselling student). It is ridiculous!" At that, he laughed heartily for the first time in our conversation, only after a good solid 1 hour or so of sharing.
So i shared with him about my fear(s) and why i thought it was utterly ridiculous, and we talked a bit about the prayer he said over me before and what God had told me through him. He was the same pastor who prayed about:
1. God wants to give, or already has given the gift of protecting, caring, laying down of my life for those i love, like a shepherd. But to do that, I first need to know the shepherd. Psalms 23.
2. A picture of an overflowing cup.
3. Jesus wants me to know that He stands beside me always, with his arm around me. (I REALLY needed to know that! I've always wanted God to show me that He's always close beside me.)
4. Love with Courage! (When pastor said this in his prayer, he digressed to tell me that he didn't know why he said that, but felt that it must be said.)
At that time, this pastor did not know me well and neither did he know that i was a counselling student.
Further into the discussion, he had let on that part of the reason as to why he wanted to catch up with me was because when he went back home that day (the day when he prayed for me) and he felt that God was saying to him, "that He (God) will groom me into someone i never thought/imagine that i would be".
(this is a very real concern for me... because who i am now does not match with who i think i should be or who i would like to be. and in view of my career choice, who i am is a huge factor.)
With that, all the memories of previous messages (all the same in meaning) from God spoken through different people in my life at different times flashed in my mind, and i was like... GOD! I'M WAITING! I WISH I COULD KNOW WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT, NOOOOW!!!
When i showed my pastor my incredulous face coupled with my incredulous situation, he said with a broad smile, "You must be on the right path. Because God chooses the foolish things of the world to shame the wise." (that's from 1 Cor 1: 27)
(The rest of the verse:
"... God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.
He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things - and the things that are not - to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before Him.
(and now the important part...)
It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus,
who has become for us wisdom from God - that is - our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore it is written: 'Let him who boasts boasts in the Lord'")
Honestly. I'm beginning to feel the heat in class, now that we are kickstarting the role play. Role playing is when we team up with 2 or more other classmates and we take turns to learn to be the therapist and client(s). Also, there is the co-facilitation of a support group.
I totally suck at it right now because i constantly am at a lost of what to ask my "client", my mind blanks out and freezes with despair when my client gives me a certain look or when i run out of things to say, or when i ask a question and realise that it is irrelevant. I often feel that my classmates do not benefit from me being a "stumbling block" (but only for now, NOT in future!!!!) and i feel so bad about it.
I am also beginning to see more conflicts happening in class, between classmates. Sometimes i may be a part of it and it's a sad and demoralising feeling to be on guard all the time. My class size is so small (at its smallest, there are only 5 students, and at its largest, 11 students) that word passes around very quickly.
What's more, let me tell you that working with adults as a young, bright eyed and bushy tailed noob is rather tricky. They are ultra sensitive to dynamics, classroom climate, the very subtle and underlying meanings that lie beaneath simple sounding words of other people. Nothing is as it SEEMS on the surface.
Because the training puts me in a really difficult position as an untried counsellor/therapist, the mistakes that i make are constant and so the feelings of disappointment and me having to berate myself happens all the time.
I'm beginning to see how though i know many things in theory, putting it into practice stumps me completely. I think i know many things, but i fail to deliver. I'm really at Ground Zero, crawling around on all fours trying to find a way of how to get onto my two feet.
Did i also mention? I am the youngest in class and the only one with no formal revelant experience. In terms of maturity/age and work experience, i am the least advantaged.
As you can already tell, the odds are huge... Where I am now, and the place where God is encouraging me with seems like a lifetime apart. The only thing that is keeping me assured and focused on my choice of career is the consistent assurance from Father God that i'm doing the right thing.
But i know that this is part of my moulding process and i have to go through with it despite it being painful... Being pressured and squished into a nice shape at the end of the day.
And really, that makes me confident (though still trembling in my shoes) enough to keep moving on, because of the knowledge that God has already paved the way for me and is cheering for me by the sidelines and at the finishing line.
So i shared with him about my fear(s) and why i thought it was utterly ridiculous, and we talked a bit about the prayer he said over me before and what God had told me through him. He was the same pastor who prayed about:
1. God wants to give, or already has given the gift of protecting, caring, laying down of my life for those i love, like a shepherd. But to do that, I first need to know the shepherd. Psalms 23.
2. A picture of an overflowing cup.
3. Jesus wants me to know that He stands beside me always, with his arm around me. (I REALLY needed to know that! I've always wanted God to show me that He's always close beside me.)
4. Love with Courage! (When pastor said this in his prayer, he digressed to tell me that he didn't know why he said that, but felt that it must be said.)
At that time, this pastor did not know me well and neither did he know that i was a counselling student.
Further into the discussion, he had let on that part of the reason as to why he wanted to catch up with me was because when he went back home that day (the day when he prayed for me) and he felt that God was saying to him, "that He (God) will groom me into someone i never thought/imagine that i would be".
(this is a very real concern for me... because who i am now does not match with who i think i should be or who i would like to be. and in view of my career choice, who i am is a huge factor.)
With that, all the memories of previous messages (all the same in meaning) from God spoken through different people in my life at different times flashed in my mind, and i was like... GOD! I'M WAITING! I WISH I COULD KNOW WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT, NOOOOW!!!
When i showed my pastor my incredulous face coupled with my incredulous situation, he said with a broad smile, "You must be on the right path. Because God chooses the foolish things of the world to shame the wise." (that's from 1 Cor 1: 27)
(The rest of the verse:
"... God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.
He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things - and the things that are not - to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before Him.
(and now the important part...)
It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus,
who has become for us wisdom from God - that is - our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore it is written: 'Let him who boasts boasts in the Lord'")
Honestly. I'm beginning to feel the heat in class, now that we are kickstarting the role play. Role playing is when we team up with 2 or more other classmates and we take turns to learn to be the therapist and client(s). Also, there is the co-facilitation of a support group.
I totally suck at it right now because i constantly am at a lost of what to ask my "client", my mind blanks out and freezes with despair when my client gives me a certain look or when i run out of things to say, or when i ask a question and realise that it is irrelevant. I often feel that my classmates do not benefit from me being a "stumbling block" (but only for now, NOT in future!!!!) and i feel so bad about it.
I am also beginning to see more conflicts happening in class, between classmates. Sometimes i may be a part of it and it's a sad and demoralising feeling to be on guard all the time. My class size is so small (at its smallest, there are only 5 students, and at its largest, 11 students) that word passes around very quickly.
What's more, let me tell you that working with adults as a young, bright eyed and bushy tailed noob is rather tricky. They are ultra sensitive to dynamics, classroom climate, the very subtle and underlying meanings that lie beaneath simple sounding words of other people. Nothing is as it SEEMS on the surface.
Because the training puts me in a really difficult position as an untried counsellor/therapist, the mistakes that i make are constant and so the feelings of disappointment and me having to berate myself happens all the time.
I'm beginning to see how though i know many things in theory, putting it into practice stumps me completely. I think i know many things, but i fail to deliver. I'm really at Ground Zero, crawling around on all fours trying to find a way of how to get onto my two feet.
Did i also mention? I am the youngest in class and the only one with no formal revelant experience. In terms of maturity/age and work experience, i am the least advantaged.
As you can already tell, the odds are huge... Where I am now, and the place where God is encouraging me with seems like a lifetime apart. The only thing that is keeping me assured and focused on my choice of career is the consistent assurance from Father God that i'm doing the right thing.
But i know that this is part of my moulding process and i have to go through with it despite it being painful... Being pressured and squished into a nice shape at the end of the day.
And really, that makes me confident (though still trembling in my shoes) enough to keep moving on, because of the knowledge that God has already paved the way for me and is cheering for me by the sidelines and at the finishing line.
Friday, February 06, 2009
I am super dui because i've been attacked by mosquitoes for 3 nights already...
Mozzies at first bit my arms and legs and body, parts that were uncovered by my blanket during the 1st and 2nd nights. So i got fed up and made sure that i was fully covered except for my face. I tell you, i was so annoyed when while sleeping, i hear the buzzing of their stupid mozzie wings NEXT TO MY EAR! Half asleep, i slapped my hand over my ear like, twice.
Which was a half stupid move because each time i did that, i got temporarily and partially deaf.
Then last night, the $#$#%$%^% bugs couldn't get their fill from me via my legs and arms because they were covered so them bug freaks bit me all over my FACE! DARNIT! I have 6 mozzie bites on my forehead can? I awoke scratching my forehead furiously yesterday night. I know i have a high forehead but please man, just when my zits were clearing up?!?!??! They also bit me on my cheeks. So now it looks like i have big pimples all over my face. Looks aside, it ITCHES! ARGH.
Super pissed off! It's actually quite funny when i tell people about it, but when i look into the mirror and/or when i feel the tingle of the itch, i get really really disgruntled man. Can i say something in hokkien please.
Mozzies at first bit my arms and legs and body, parts that were uncovered by my blanket during the 1st and 2nd nights. So i got fed up and made sure that i was fully covered except for my face. I tell you, i was so annoyed when while sleeping, i hear the buzzing of their stupid mozzie wings NEXT TO MY EAR! Half asleep, i slapped my hand over my ear like, twice.
Which was a half stupid move because each time i did that, i got temporarily and partially deaf.
Then last night, the $#$#%$%^% bugs couldn't get their fill from me via my legs and arms because they were covered so them bug freaks bit me all over my FACE! DARNIT! I have 6 mozzie bites on my forehead can? I awoke scratching my forehead furiously yesterday night. I know i have a high forehead but please man, just when my zits were clearing up?!?!??! They also bit me on my cheeks. So now it looks like i have big pimples all over my face. Looks aside, it ITCHES! ARGH.
Super pissed off! It's actually quite funny when i tell people about it, but when i look into the mirror and/or when i feel the tingle of the itch, i get really really disgruntled man. Can i say something in hokkien please.
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
soft shell crab venture
So here's a fine specimen of my raw soft shell crab with his limbs all curled in and still a little frozen. He's quite a little guy really. (i realize i shouldn't be talking about the crab in such endearing terms given his circumstances. Hmm...)
In my palm.
According to cleaning instructions, the gills have to be removed. It's that shiny white part.
The layout and ingredients, part 1.
Layout and ingredients, part 2.
Crabs all cleaned and ready to be battered.
A mix of flour and egg.
In the pan.................
Tadah!
As you can see, the ones on the left look more crab like. That was during the beginning of the frying process when the egg hadn't messed itself up with the flour, so still giving the fried crabs their shape.
On the right, well, that's when flour and egg decided to become a mish and mash, so instead of looking like a batter covering the crab, it became more of like a crab omelette. Delicious nonetheless. :-)
***
Since these were pan fried and not deep fried (like those bought from shops outside that sell them at cut throat prices), you still get a good bite into the flesh and the juices will all come gushing out. :-) Because of that, i recommend that if you want to cook this, think up/look up a good marinade for the crab so that you maximise the role of the juices... You'll want something more multi dimensional in taste then my simple marinade of just salt and thyme.
Monday, January 26, 2009
I was running late for my family's renuion dinner and there i was at Kallang trying to "fight" for cabs. Apparently, 3 sets of people kinda intercepted "my cab" by standing in front of me instead of behind me (although 2 sets of people were nice enough to still ask if I wanted the cab when it stopped for them instead of me). I was kind of annoyed but i told myself not to worry and that God will provide for all his children and that he would provide for me too.
After a while i thought to myself that my location had too many people in need of cabs, so i decided to walk around the bend to a less crowded place. But then as i stood by the roadside, i felt really stupid because i realized that: alamak... how can i get an empty cab at my spot if all the cabs that went by the previous spot are taken by the people before me? I began to realize that the likelihood of getting a cab was even slimmer at where i was...
Just then, this green cab came along and the driver spotted me. He started to turn in to the kerb despite me not even sticking out my hand to flag it down because (1) there was this HUGE bus just behind it and i didn't want the uncle to kena mashed by the bus if he stopped suddenly, (2) i couldn't see if the cab was empty.
But i opened the door of the cab and asked,
J: Uncle, can we go to ******?
U: Oh? At *****?
J: Oh, yes yes!
U: By CTE?
J: Uhm, whichever's faster.
U: Ok, whichever's faster.
The funny thing was that i only knew my gran's address but i really did not know how to describe to the uncle WHERE my granny stays. I was prepared to have to check the street directory book if he did not know where it was since it isn't a well known place. I even had the wrong impression of where she was staying in my head ( i was thinking "Upper Serangoon" when she's actually at Serangoon Gardens). Had he asked me where the rough location was, i would have blabbered the wrong place. But lo and behold, he totally KNEW where it was despite me just telling him the name of one of those small lanes somewhere in Serangoon. I didn't have to explain anything to him, and i only had to sit back and relax (was feeling tired and gross after cycling 30ish km).
When i alighted, i told him, "Woah uncle, i was scared that you wouldn't know this place you know..." and he replied, "Oh, i come here before..."
This cab driver was DEFINITELY Godsent, man!
And boy, he took me there for a fare less than 10bucks and i even got there before all my relatives did!
Seeing this from a wider point of view, I learnt that as Christians, we don't have to "fight" against people and situations. There really is not point in getting mad and indignant over worldly things because our "battles" aren't physical. All we need to do is just trust that God would take care of everything simply because He is Daddy God. He knows all our needs, we just need to ask and believe in His goodness. Boy, he is a much bigger and able God than we take him for sometimes!
After a while i thought to myself that my location had too many people in need of cabs, so i decided to walk around the bend to a less crowded place. But then as i stood by the roadside, i felt really stupid because i realized that: alamak... how can i get an empty cab at my spot if all the cabs that went by the previous spot are taken by the people before me? I began to realize that the likelihood of getting a cab was even slimmer at where i was...
Just then, this green cab came along and the driver spotted me. He started to turn in to the kerb despite me not even sticking out my hand to flag it down because (1) there was this HUGE bus just behind it and i didn't want the uncle to kena mashed by the bus if he stopped suddenly, (2) i couldn't see if the cab was empty.
But i opened the door of the cab and asked,
J: Uncle, can we go to ******?
U: Oh? At *****?
J: Oh, yes yes!
U: By CTE?
J: Uhm, whichever's faster.
U: Ok, whichever's faster.
The funny thing was that i only knew my gran's address but i really did not know how to describe to the uncle WHERE my granny stays. I was prepared to have to check the street directory book if he did not know where it was since it isn't a well known place. I even had the wrong impression of where she was staying in my head ( i was thinking "Upper Serangoon" when she's actually at Serangoon Gardens). Had he asked me where the rough location was, i would have blabbered the wrong place. But lo and behold, he totally KNEW where it was despite me just telling him the name of one of those small lanes somewhere in Serangoon. I didn't have to explain anything to him, and i only had to sit back and relax (was feeling tired and gross after cycling 30ish km).
When i alighted, i told him, "Woah uncle, i was scared that you wouldn't know this place you know..." and he replied, "Oh, i come here before..."
This cab driver was DEFINITELY Godsent, man!
And boy, he took me there for a fare less than 10bucks and i even got there before all my relatives did!
Seeing this from a wider point of view, I learnt that as Christians, we don't have to "fight" against people and situations. There really is not point in getting mad and indignant over worldly things because our "battles" aren't physical. All we need to do is just trust that God would take care of everything simply because He is Daddy God. He knows all our needs, we just need to ask and believe in His goodness. Boy, he is a much bigger and able God than we take him for sometimes!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
This is it!
I have had enough of saying "i want to drive", "i bet i can drive", but not really going to make the effort to learn to drive. My biggest issue is: fear of being in an accident, second: time spent.
But in an effort to straighten out my personal time management skills, i am going to learn to multi-task and handle school as well as driving for a start.
I've already divided out my final theory book into sections so that i can read a section on a stipulated day and finish it by a certain time. Passing this final theory thingy is my main hurdle. Once i'm done with that, i will then have to summon up all my courage and go for my first driving lesson... I tell you. I am petrified by the very experiences that i have not even experienced! I am afraid of the instructors (before even meeting them), i am afraid of causing an accident (when i haven't even begun), i am afraid of not being able to do it (when i haven't even tried), i am afraid that i will not pass (when i haven't even shown myself what i can do!).
I am friggin' scared!!!!!
But then. Knowing myself, I just know that there will be a time when i will feel ready to take on my fear. It's like, i know that i am still fearful, but i also know that through the time that i have allowed to pass (despite the chidings and the comparisons i get from other people), my will has become set and my heart has steeled.
And so the time is now.
Being imperfect and prone to becoming discouraged though, I decided to blog this because i want to further convince myself that this is it... And that if i fail, flounder, procratinate, you guys have all the right to poke me and tell me to get my arse moving again till i get my driving license...
BBDC, here joline comes.
I have had enough of saying "i want to drive", "i bet i can drive", but not really going to make the effort to learn to drive. My biggest issue is: fear of being in an accident, second: time spent.
But in an effort to straighten out my personal time management skills, i am going to learn to multi-task and handle school as well as driving for a start.
I've already divided out my final theory book into sections so that i can read a section on a stipulated day and finish it by a certain time. Passing this final theory thingy is my main hurdle. Once i'm done with that, i will then have to summon up all my courage and go for my first driving lesson... I tell you. I am petrified by the very experiences that i have not even experienced! I am afraid of the instructors (before even meeting them), i am afraid of causing an accident (when i haven't even begun), i am afraid of not being able to do it (when i haven't even tried), i am afraid that i will not pass (when i haven't even shown myself what i can do!).
I am friggin' scared!!!!!
But then. Knowing myself, I just know that there will be a time when i will feel ready to take on my fear. It's like, i know that i am still fearful, but i also know that through the time that i have allowed to pass (despite the chidings and the comparisons i get from other people), my will has become set and my heart has steeled.
And so the time is now.
Being imperfect and prone to becoming discouraged though, I decided to blog this because i want to further convince myself that this is it... And that if i fail, flounder, procratinate, you guys have all the right to poke me and tell me to get my arse moving again till i get my driving license...
BBDC, here joline comes.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
How is school, you ask?
My dread and inertia has been transformed into anticipation, excitement, complete (or near complete) attention in class, a new sense of conscientiousness. I am almost laughing at myself now. :-D
More importantly though, i've been thinking about all that happened over the last part of 2008. I'm a little frustrated that i cannot remember the bulk of what happened at the most recent varsity camp but i know that somewhere somehow i have to dig it all up and process through it.
On the spiritual/walking with Jesus side, i am totally amazed at what God has spoken to me about through other people during dedicated prayer times. They were absolutely SPOT ON despite not knowing me well personally. Well, spot on simply because God exists and He speaks directly into my life. :-)
This was what God said (in point form) through Pastor V when he prayed for me:
1. God wants to give, or already has given the gift of protecting, caring, laying down of my life for those i love, like a shepherd. But to do that, I first need to know the shepherd. Psalms 23.
2. A picture of an overflowing cup.
3. Jesus wants me to know that He stands beside me always, with his arm around me. (I REALLY needed to know that! I've always wanted God to show me that He's always close beside me.)
4. Love with Courage! (When Pastor said this in his prayer, he digressed to tell me that he didn't know why he said that, but felt that it must be said.)
I can tell you that all of that spoke deeply to me... Point 1 and 4 are especially direct. I'm always seeking to protect or sought to protect people around me. And in future, my career and lifestyle will be all geared specially towards protecting and caring for people. I take this as continuing assurance (boy, i need that confidence to know that i am doing the right thing) that my path taken right now is the right, straight and narrow one. I guess i will need this assurance time and again because the road ahead seems riddled with challenges which will make it tempting to give up. With people, there will always be tricky situations.
I nodded knowingly when God said to "love with courage". Ironically (you will know the details if you know me well enough), i find it hard to love humans for various reasons. To love with courage is to die to/give up my own hard feelings, to let my heart soften and loosen, to not fear anymore, to muster up what little love i have to speak volumes in action, making room for the unlovable or unlovable things, to go out without fear of brokenness.
Awesome, right?
:-)
***
I've signed up for a cycling event called OCBC CycleSingapore with a girly gang. I think this is the first of its kind and i'm not a good cyclist at all. I can only cycle in straight lines! I signed up for the 40km only because i've done 40km once and the event for the majority of the community is only 20km which is far too little.
***
Don't you just LOVE the weather these days? Gusty winds, bright blue skies, the smell of crisp, cold, fresh air... Daddy God, i wish every year would be like this. (or every day?)
***
I bought 9 little frozen soft shell crabs (favourite food!) which my mom is sceptical about me having any success with. Wellll... lets see what google search and some recipe sites will turn up for me. :-) I'll let you know how it goes...
My dread and inertia has been transformed into anticipation, excitement, complete (or near complete) attention in class, a new sense of conscientiousness. I am almost laughing at myself now. :-D
More importantly though, i've been thinking about all that happened over the last part of 2008. I'm a little frustrated that i cannot remember the bulk of what happened at the most recent varsity camp but i know that somewhere somehow i have to dig it all up and process through it.
On the spiritual/walking with Jesus side, i am totally amazed at what God has spoken to me about through other people during dedicated prayer times. They were absolutely SPOT ON despite not knowing me well personally. Well, spot on simply because God exists and He speaks directly into my life. :-)
This was what God said (in point form) through Pastor V when he prayed for me:
1. God wants to give, or already has given the gift of protecting, caring, laying down of my life for those i love, like a shepherd. But to do that, I first need to know the shepherd. Psalms 23.
2. A picture of an overflowing cup.
3. Jesus wants me to know that He stands beside me always, with his arm around me. (I REALLY needed to know that! I've always wanted God to show me that He's always close beside me.)
4. Love with Courage! (When Pastor said this in his prayer, he digressed to tell me that he didn't know why he said that, but felt that it must be said.)
I can tell you that all of that spoke deeply to me... Point 1 and 4 are especially direct. I'm always seeking to protect or sought to protect people around me. And in future, my career and lifestyle will be all geared specially towards protecting and caring for people. I take this as continuing assurance (boy, i need that confidence to know that i am doing the right thing) that my path taken right now is the right, straight and narrow one. I guess i will need this assurance time and again because the road ahead seems riddled with challenges which will make it tempting to give up. With people, there will always be tricky situations.
I nodded knowingly when God said to "love with courage". Ironically (you will know the details if you know me well enough), i find it hard to love humans for various reasons. To love with courage is to die to/give up my own hard feelings, to let my heart soften and loosen, to not fear anymore, to muster up what little love i have to speak volumes in action, making room for the unlovable or unlovable things, to go out without fear of brokenness.
Awesome, right?
:-)
***
I've signed up for a cycling event called OCBC CycleSingapore with a girly gang. I think this is the first of its kind and i'm not a good cyclist at all. I can only cycle in straight lines! I signed up for the 40km only because i've done 40km once and the event for the majority of the community is only 20km which is far too little.
***
Don't you just LOVE the weather these days? Gusty winds, bright blue skies, the smell of crisp, cold, fresh air... Daddy God, i wish every year would be like this. (or every day?)
***
I bought 9 little frozen soft shell crabs (favourite food!) which my mom is sceptical about me having any success with. Wellll... lets see what google search and some recipe sites will turn up for me. :-) I'll let you know how it goes...
Sunday, January 04, 2009
A Blessed New Year to Everyone!
(ok, the below is me trying on some bizarre hats from IKEA)
The Spider Cap
The Cake Head
Meow!
I know that experts have predicted a really disasterous 2009 for Singapore, but you know, as long as we trust in Heavenly Father, there is nothing to worry about. Yes, what happens around us can appear frightening and threatening, but i believe that father will never let us starve. He takes care of his own children, we will always have enough. Maybe not extravagent, but enough. :-)
So, if you're facing uncertainty, just call on the name of Jesus. It does not matter if you believe in Him or not. You know, He believes in you and knows you personally. :-)
Ready to be surprised? All you need to do, is open your heart to Him.
(ok, the below is me trying on some bizarre hats from IKEA)
The Spider Cap
The Cake Head
Meow!I know that experts have predicted a really disasterous 2009 for Singapore, but you know, as long as we trust in Heavenly Father, there is nothing to worry about. Yes, what happens around us can appear frightening and threatening, but i believe that father will never let us starve. He takes care of his own children, we will always have enough. Maybe not extravagent, but enough. :-)
So, if you're facing uncertainty, just call on the name of Jesus. It does not matter if you believe in Him or not. You know, He believes in you and knows you personally. :-)
Ready to be surprised? All you need to do, is open your heart to Him.
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