How is school, you ask?
My dread and inertia has been transformed into anticipation, excitement, complete (or near complete) attention in class, a new sense of conscientiousness. I am almost laughing at myself now. :-D
More importantly though, i've been thinking about all that happened over the last part of 2008. I'm a little frustrated that i cannot remember the bulk of what happened at the most recent varsity camp but i know that somewhere somehow i have to dig it all up and process through it.
On the spiritual/walking with Jesus side, i am totally amazed at what God has spoken to me about through other people during dedicated prayer times. They were absolutely SPOT ON despite not knowing me well personally. Well, spot on simply because God exists and He speaks directly into my life. :-)
This was what God said (in point form) through Pastor V when he prayed for me:
1. God wants to give, or already has given the gift of protecting, caring, laying down of my life for those i love, like a shepherd. But to do that, I first need to know the shepherd. Psalms 23.
2. A picture of an overflowing cup.
3. Jesus wants me to know that He stands beside me always, with his arm around me. (I REALLY needed to know that! I've always wanted God to show me that He's always close beside me.)
4. Love with Courage! (When Pastor said this in his prayer, he digressed to tell me that he didn't know why he said that, but felt that it must be said.)
I can tell you that all of that spoke deeply to me... Point 1 and 4 are especially direct. I'm always seeking to protect or sought to protect people around me. And in future, my career and lifestyle will be all geared specially towards protecting and caring for people. I take this as continuing assurance (boy, i need that confidence to know that i am doing the right thing) that my path taken right now is the right, straight and narrow one. I guess i will need this assurance time and again because the road ahead seems riddled with challenges which will make it tempting to give up. With people, there will always be tricky situations.
I nodded knowingly when God said to "love with courage". Ironically (you will know the details if you know me well enough), i find it hard to love humans for various reasons. To love with courage is to die to/give up my own hard feelings, to let my heart soften and loosen, to not fear anymore, to muster up what little love i have to speak volumes in action, making room for the unlovable or unlovable things, to go out without fear of brokenness.
I've signed up for a cycling event called OCBC CycleSingapore with a girly gang. I think this is the first of its kind and i'm not a good cyclist at all. I can only cycle in straight lines! I signed up for the 40km only because i've done 40km once and the event for the majority of the community is only 20km which is far too little.
Don't you just LOVE the weather these days? Gusty winds, bright blue skies, the smell of crisp, cold, fresh air... Daddy God, i wish every year would be like this. (or every day?)
I bought 9 little frozen soft shell crabs (favourite food!) which my mom is sceptical about me having any success with. Wellll... lets see what google search and some recipe sites will turn up for me. :-) I'll let you know how it goes...