Tuesday, February 07, 2006

I actually had a totally different message to share when i started to write, but somehow, things took a turn when i let my mind say whatever it wanted. I would've doctored it or split it in half, but i figured... Think i'll just let it be.

Teehee, i'm no poet, but decided to try my hand at one. So here goes...:

To open thy heart before, 'tis a risk i did take,
But somewhere along the line, i realized i risked forsake.
But sometimes the urge becomes so strong,
So I simply just scribble some obscure song.

Such is the silliness of my public blog,
For one who fears getting severely mobbed.
Hence the things i type and publish,
Are mostly selfish, and some just rubbish.

It's for all to see, this online real estate,
But I know not who treads on this slate.
Nevertheless i thank the readers,
Who've often visited as this Vacuum's feeders.

Deep level discourse and embellished writings i have not,
Breathtaking photos, i also boast naught.
Witty lines and flowing expression,
Are more likely non existent than inner suppression.

Then again there was once a time,
When words arrived so clear and fine.
"Eloquent and articulate" were terms i favoured,
Thoughts borne of conceit and pride, they escalatored.

But then Life had a way to suck me out dry,
I open my mouth and nothing would fly.
When i once could slice a person in half,
Now, I'm as docile as a calf.
(ok, maybe not really.)

I look back upon the days of yore,
When suaning people was never a chore.
Though i'm watered down some with more to learn,
A dagger sharp mind, i still do yearn.

Hence often times i feel the evil green,
Creeping and seeking to consume and preen.
But then i think: "I Am Me",
My value, my worth: In the God i can't see.

So i worry less though still plagued at times,
But i remind myself: Don't waste your time;
"I am who i'm meant to be
Says the God who crafts perfectly".

2 comments:

weirong said...

An intriguing piece of prose that deals with the nature of self-expression! It's difficult enough to find the right words; but you've dunnit & made each regular 4-line stanza impactful with gritty-honesty.

Initially, I thought the poem was going to be abt "matters of the heart"(after reading first stanza). I thought it was intresting that you went on to address other issues of your life before closing the last two stanzas with reassurances by faith. In my opinion, had the opening-stanza been interpreted as "having to do with love", these closing-stanzas would have made your poem "come full-circle" very nicely too. Since "God is love" 1 John 4:8

joline said...

weirong:

That's true, that it would come full circle. I suppose it's possible to integrate "love" with "blatant online sharing", (so now it can become "the love for writing freely") which then became stifled. Stifling of honesty was the first stanza's intention.

Hur, a totally unplanned for poem. Quite fun actually, to let my mind go with the flow and experiment with words, rhyming, some form of beat while assimilating a message that makes a least a bit of explicit sense. There was a spur that kicked me into doing this, but that, i won't mention.