Thursday, March 11, 2004

Collective Annoyance

A relationship broken and a new one made within a short span of time.
One is hurting some, while the other is having it good.

That's what's happening around me.

Can't help but feel a mixture of glee as well as envy.
I try to squash the envy because i only need to trust in the Lord for my future.

My JC mates are just the best so far.
I have many friends i keep in contact with but they are the ones who've kept in contact regularly on intimate terms even 1 year after we've graduated.
For a few, even if we only contact each other after a long while, the closeness is still there like we've never been apart.

I thank God for them.
They are so important and precious to me, know how crushed i'd feel if we do drift apart.
They're my (on Earth) source of acceptance, solace, encouragement.
There's so much that we have shared.

Seeing one now attached is so exciting but yet there's a tinge of sadness.
I know that her life has just expanded to accomodate a significant (more so than us) other.
It is how one handles the situation. Striking a balance between the old and new.
Nevertheless, her new devotion will take up time.
It feels as if a part of her is gone and lost.

It is kind of ridiculous though because anyway, i hardly see her so how can i feel this way since i should hardly feel that lost?
Because when we DO meet, there's the new element.
So in addition to not meeting, more attention is taken even during the meet.

Now that i think of it. It's not so much an issue of time, but more an issue of attention.
Yes, that's more to the point.

People have to move on.
I can't complain.

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Thanks, heh.
Actually, now that you did ask that question, it has reminded me to write an entry about making the team.
How's school so far?
Have you had a change in tutors?

Yes, been having loads and oodles of fun! Thanks there.
Oh, i was coached by the president actually.
The team coach came to watch now and then and gave bits of advice here and there.
But i suspect one of the reasons why he comes over because my new found friend is a Filipino, like him.
So it's kind of nice having someone from the same country to converse with in their own language.
In addition, she is a pretty lass. So... more incentive.

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

The weather's gone wonky donky.
One cycle: Bright and dry then rainy and dreary.
Ya can git a few sah-kerls within a dah isself.
I sure hope it ain't gonna be this way this sunday.

Am about to finish that psychology essay on evolution.
I'm confused about it.
The question implies loads of info to be included, while i can't find much to say.
My 1000 word limit is way too generous and i'm trying to type floridly to fatten up the thing.
How, how, how.

Referencing and citation is such a pain.
Been staring at my essay and can't even write a decent conclusion. My mind is far... far... away.

1 2 sleep.
Gads, did i just type that?

I think one day, i shall type a normal entry but i shan't bother with editing it at all.
It'll probably be as painful to read as my "academic" essay.


Been doing free weights daily recently.
I miss the ACJC gym.
Spacious, wide range of machines for parts of the body, air-conditioned with music, has FUNCTIONING treadmills... Good gym machine brand.

Oh, i found out that MUSIC and PHILOSOPHY are STILL IN the syllabus.

ANYWAY, this is THEE thing that eating at me.
I just got back my first assignment, the POETRY ANALYSIS one.

Apparently, i got a C. (NOT Credit.)

It's the C as we all know it.

I am annoyed not because i think my tutor is a turd for giving me that grade but because i knew something like this would happen.

I put all my effort into writing out what i thought was right and should get me a decent mark.

I analyse the poem as I understand it.
And according to what i think the question is asking for.

D'you know HOW ANNOYING it is to be DIFFERENT from everyone?!??!?!?!?
APPARENTLY, people don't see the way I do!

he comments i received totally took me by suprise because it didn't occur to me that the question was asking me "that"!

!@##$$#@^%$# !@#$$#@%%&^%* @#$#@%$# !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My thought processes and understanding of some things just doesn't go with everyone else's.

Its is not because i misread the question, Gads NO!, I read it over and over to make sure i was answering it.


The major thing is this.
The things that are deemed important to me, hence i talk about, is not of significant importance to THEM.
What THEY deem as important, is not important to me.

With that, doesn't it screw it almost everything?
Because i'll be writing things that DON'T want to hear!

I was given examples of what i should have included.
And when i thought about it, i just COULDN'T figure what it is that's important and should be analyzed.

Man, i am so annoyed.
It's not my tutor.

It's ME.
I JUST DON'T get it.
Why do i have to think differently?
Am i just pure SHALLOW?

If anyone thinks it's good to be different, well, not in this context!

Poetry is JUST NOT my thing.

I need to get this out of my system before i screw up my next archery session on sunday.

Why is it that each time i start school, my first assignment always comes back to me with darn sucky grades.
Ok, i admit they do improve later on.
But it is subjective after all.

That was sociology.
This is POETRY.

Till then.
* "#$%^&*#$%" --Joline Lim *

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