For someone who shoots off her mouth a bit like a certain Class 95 DJ on the Morning Express, i marvel at how i'm still able to get along peacefully with people most of the time. Which is why at times when those few friction moments come, i totally FREAK because i'm not used to handling it.
Or are people around me just too nice to say anything to my face? Or, are they afraid that if they did, i'd morph into a flame spewing dragon and turn them into barbeque?
I ask myself this from time to time: Is all that i'm going through a hallucination? In that i choose to believe what i think is true because of me being bounded by my perceptions, when actually, things are purely quite the contrary to my beliefs.
Sometimes i reflect upon certain moments when i have made statements and realize that if the person didn't know any better, taken at face value, my statements can come across as being pretty tactless. But more often than not, i've no malicious intents, but it's just me being flatly honest and objective, all borne out of just wanting to help.
I want very much to go for the talk in church tonight, but this essay... *heaves a sigh* Had to make a few cancellations and adjustments to my schedule and i feel downright bad about them, but i promise that it's not going to take me away from the people who matter to me.
Back to essay.