Thursday, November 13, 2003

It's Over.

My Exams, that is.

Soaking in a sullen stupor, feeling subdued.

Feeling lost-like. Appetiteless.

An examination unwell done is the cause.

My favourite subject too.

It was really bad. I won't go into details.
But it was so bad, i was tearing at my hair.
I almost popped. I was blowing hot and cold.
My physical system was also malfunctioning a bit.

All i can say is that i'm not sure if i'll pass or fail.

Wanted to go retail therapying but went for lunch and coffee(something i've actually not really done properly before) with good friend Hemma instead.

Talked and talked.
Time really flew.

Not sure if i'll be seeing all my friends again once i leave for SIM-OUC.
I'll miss them.
Forgot to write them postcards.

Mind was going overtime and brain going round in circles and circles.
Feeling sucky.

Well, like i've said.

Jo will sit and brood.
Think. Think. Think.
Grumble and Ramble.
Sigh and stomp.
Scream and hiss mentally.

But eventually, all that should come to cease and jo'll give herself a good kick in the ass.

She should be up and running after that.


kiss my ass2
congratulations. you are the kiss my ass happy
bunny. You don't care about anyone or anything.
You must be so proud

which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


I remember this quizilla thing i stuck up in one entry about my smile being a "SMIRK".
It's so TRUE.
Was talking to Hemma and my smile, i actually consciously noticed, WAS a hybrid of a smile and a frown.

I remember i said i wanted to discuss some issues after the exams.
I don't think they're really issues now.
There're just thoughts that i wanted to yak about.

When i think about it.
What's a blog?
It depends very much on the blogger him/herself.
A blog serves the blogger's purpose.
A blog is for free expression.
About the day, about the gripes. It's a journal.
About thoughts.
About detailed arguments about issues.
Selfish or not.

Why do i have to discuss "issues"?
I shall be free.
And I don't care.

-look at bunny-


Anyway, i will get down to my 'issues' soon.

The person here needs a break.

I feel as if i don't deserve a break.
It's as if my break is deserved only i i do well for an exam.
Of course that's monkey crap.

I did what i could.
Yet again, i think i could've done more.
Then again.
Then again.
My head is spinning.

My eye bags are so huge, i can fit the turkey i've been eyeing at Coldstorage in them, and it'll still be fine and dandy.

I don't feel like sleeping.
I've become a nocturnal creature.
I feel as if my day is unfulfilled if i don't sleep at about 1am.

Unfulfilled in the sense that, i've not done enough in the day to deserve and be "awarded" a good rest.

And it's not just the exam that did it. This applies to everyday existence.

Maybe it's a psychological problem.
Maybe i'm suffering from a very mild case of depression.
The feelings of unworthiness and hopelessness.

Hopelessness theory.

Jo'll be up and running soon.
But she'll still be the same weird, melancholic soul.

Till Then.

No comments: