Tuesday, January 03, 2006

I have not lost ALL my cynicism, but i think i may have gotten too trusting. In which case, i'm not quite sure if that's a 100% good thing, but then again, why do i need to find something to be nitty gritty about?

I've grown accustomed to my high walls that i had carefully built over the years, though occasionally peeping through a slight opening that i sometimes allow, as i lower the drawbridge. People come, seeking. I speak to them and find something wanting.

This might sound a little offbeat, but as i was cutting onions the other day (and hopping up and down and flapping my arms wildly whenever the stinging of my eyes and tearing begins), i wondered if i was guilty of being one.
Er, yeah. An Onion.

The outermost layers are thin, superficial, dry, discoloured: That is the me i put on the outside. But as someone proceeds to probe deeper, finding out more about me, the layers get harder (and juicier? You find out more about me mah.) and i may sting you with the things that i say or hurt you because of the walls that i purposefully run to hide behind, separating you and me. It might hurt, it may even make you resent me. And finally, i will hurt you most when you take a knife to me, when you cut me, hurt me. That's when i will let loose my defensive mechanisms and in my fury, seek to attempt to make sure that you pay the price of my wrath.

(if you haven't seen that bitter side of me, you either do not know me very well, you haven't cheesed me off that much, or, i have managed to, er, tone my temper down.)

But then the walls finally came down, and i find myself standing liberated, in the open, on vast immense freedom. In a kind of freedom that i have never experienced before.

And so the onion, at the end of the day, had been cut, chopped and cooked up. And most onion dishes don't taste too far bad. :-)

Nay, i am in no rotten mood. And I shall stop right here.

13 comments:

weirong said...

I like your analogy of the onion being akin to the human response~

Hmm, I must see that "flapping arms wildly" movement for myself one day ;-) *chuckle*

Anonymous said...

+learning to cook eh?+ or do u already knew how, mind if i intrude?

teardrop said...

hey,g'day! after reading dan Brown's books i m beginning to tink that Rome is a nice place to visit. more precisely it should be thw Vatican.

how abt we visit it one day? Sounds very pious....

verlyn said...

hey guess what...NTU now accepts ALL diploma holders for degrees,including accountancy, business,english. chinese, socio.psych!!
Sounds too good to be true to me. And i was wondering...isn't it easier to go to poly and do well than go to jc?

Provided the person didnt mind studying one more yr.

miss leading said...

tats pretty misleading. cos this condtion is good for people with a diploma of distinction which i think only the smartest two gers in my cos got. for the rest of the ordinary mortals like me, this is rubbish. also the police also asked us to join and i was like...hey do u thin they need therapists meh.it was kinda funny to me when i received that letter

lakeside girl said...

Pretty deep stuff over there Jo, but i appreciate the analogy. I think its fitting for me as well. :x

Anyways, abseiling this tues on? Ask your significant other along too! Wld love to meet him. =)

joline said...

weirong:

If you had come a little earlier that day, you wld've seen the flapping and hopping. :-D

anonymous:

ERm... i am not learning per se, though i know a bit of cooking. but i mostly need to be armed with a cookbook and preferably, also my sister. hur hur.

teardrop+verlyn+miss leading:

One day... when we have earned the big bucks, then can go... See the Colosseum toooo!

Ah, i think that universities shouldn't deny diploma holders degrees, a good step for NTU to take. Wonder what the intake grade requirements are like, now that JC and Poly students will be competing. Hey, why not try when you graduate? Ya never know... :-)

Oh, Liting received that letter too. Hee.

green apple:

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! Been thinking that the whole of today but then i remembered that i have band practice in the evening, so once again (drat!!!!) i am not sure if i can make it. But still, i sure do hope that there'll be more of such activities. Really sweet of you to ask though, i am grateful. :-DDDDD

lakeside girl said...

=) oh no prob man! Anyway we'll be starting out in the morning from 9am onwards, but i know it'd be tiring for u later in the evening.

Yup sure! If there are such activities (ooh archeryyy) and sports, i'd be thinkin' abt u too!

mystic river said...

where is the Colosseum? And what buildings? By the way, i m initially very rejoiced abt this new policy. then i went to the website read that statement that pulled me from the clouds to earth. Yea, they need excellent students to join. And this again makes me realise it is serious stuff university teaches. I recalled the times i curiously flipped thru my sis's notes....it was unbearable difficult. Not like the module i did in poly even though it was the same subj;:( sob sob

joline said...

green apple:

Muchly appweeciated! :-)

mystic river:

The Colosseum is in Rome. :-) It is a famous Roman Amphitheatre that used to "play host" to the Roman games... The one where Gladiators would fight in and where the audience would be cheering and watching the bloody match.
Oh... Oh well. How are your grades, if u dont mind me asking.

Anonymous said...

so it is called so, but in the books dan brown wrote, he said pretty gruseome things occur, eg beheading blah blah.dunno whether it is factual leh. hmmmmm, my grades are very strange, as long as it is not core module, i will do well. worst is d best is distn. although i tink most pple get distn in same sunbj i get mine

Noeline said...

but i do have a friend with A n distn in all subjects, cept clinical attachment is a B. but in this module(attachment) noone gets an A i think. But last semester she was defeated by an alevel holder.she simply has more distn than the previous ger. I think both create a miracle. not that they are too dumb to get good grades but that qtns are nv studied before. dunno how they score these marks cos i dun think they read the textbks in the library

joline said...

anon+noeline:

Hm, well from what you've stated, your grades don't look too bad, really!
Yeah, i also wonder how people like that can do so well. I would really love to know how their brains work. Astounding.

Beheading? Hm... i wouldn't be surprised. Aiyo, i studied the Colosseum in 2004, now cannot remember the facts associated liao.