Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Various scrapings.

Greetings, nice to hear from you! Great thing about blogs, no? Unless they aren't read. Anyway...
Well, birds of a feather flock together don't they? Perhaps i wouldn't have it any other way. I met you guys, and that's what made JC bearable and i have been taught numerable lessons. You were a blessing! And i thank God.
I am taking the friday the 13th shelling better than i would have, than if it hit met earlier.
I figured that if i cannot join and train via recommendation, i will join them via my own merit. In other words, i will go out there and take part in competitions. I cannot expect too much from myself considering i only practice once a week. But i will give my best of course, with whatever i can.
There's something i believe in, but i feel it inappropriate to declare at this point.
But yeah, i've gotten my bow back, after quite some confusion. I tell ya, i am suitably cheesed off by the new archery management.
And why does your life sound so torturous???? 5 hours of sleep everyday???

YOU DIDN'T?! (oh, thank heavens!) By the way, i think we had quite a number of concerts till i cannot remember which exactly was the one. ER, which means i cannot remember ever playing the school anthem as an encore. Maybe, i do, but hazily... What i DO remember though, was that the following day, 92.4fm (the classical radio station) played one of the songs we played that night on air.

Nope, i didn't sell my bow. I'm a member of an archery club and so it is legal to keep my equipment. I doubt i'd ever sell it because i love the sport, i still plan to shoot and if possible, i want to go for competitions.
Guess i feel crabby about it all, mostly at the management. But i'm taking it all right.

Ayee.... batch 2002... then i must've seen you somehow, somewhere. If you don't mind me asking... which class?

Arllo. I'm doing ok... Not fantastic. I'm pissed inside but things will iron out somewhat. I hope. I hope. All i know is, i've got me bow back and i don't like the new archery management one bit and if i could, i would storm to the fella's office and give him a piece of my brilliant, highly moralistic mind.

*** ***

A friend is selling mooncakes part-time. Got samples to try too. Oh, how fun.

Twice, i was awoken by my OWN reaction to very realistic dreams.

First dream:
Unmentionable. So all i can say is that in my dream i hissed: "If you do that again, i will really hit you."
In response, that putrid person in my dream repeated the action and i swung at the person.
And so i woke up with a start when i apparently swung my right arm out in a bid to mash that person.
Good thing i didn't fall off the bed of hit anything.

Second Dream:
I dreamt that while playing with my beloved dog, he jumped too hard, flew, and landed sprawling on the hard ground with a chilling and sickening clatter (of bones against the cold, hard floor).
With that, i woke up, almost SAT up, with a moderately loud gasp.

The second dream really scared me. Thought my dog was done for.

I've been spending a lot.
Man, sometimes i hit this period of "i need this and this, and this, and this, this too, oh yum and that ..."

Other times, i stinge so much i would refuse to even buy something that costs $4-

This time it was on snacks, knick-knacks, food, pamper-myself-things...
The most of all, been spending on juice. YES, FRUIT JUICE. SPECIFICALLY JUICE WITH ALOE VERA.
I decided that it was getting a little too expensive to keep up this new fetish so i bought a 2L bottle. Not really working anyway either.

I love popping by The Bodyshop to sniff out new products. *smiles* Uhm, i have taken a liking to the new shampoo.

Is it this ongoing headaches i've been having? I'm beginning to think that it's a degenerative disease. (please no.)
Lately, i've noticed that while doing my essay, i type nonsense.
My concentration is there, everything is present but i sometimes type extra words, or my grammar goes wonky, i miss words and the words that i am thinking of in my head come out as something else.

Or maybe it's just the pain i am having which causes my consciousness to distance itself to mentally steer away from the pain. In doing so, some "concentration" has been removed.

Or, a small part of my mind is in a state of limbo/drifting/throbbing... that somehow, things get a little fuzzy.

My head isn't working to maximum efficiency. Then again jo, when was it ever?

Honestly. I used to be sharper, meaner, more opinionated, sarcastic.
Now. I think i've gotten milder, less mean, less cutting, less opinionated, les critical.

Is that a good thing? Horse Lords, no.
I use to debate a little and i could feel my mind buzzing with activity.
But it seems that that is no longer the case. It's kinda dull, dim, slow.
Back then, i could sense that people (who knew me) were wary of me during a debate.

Well. I am a toothless lion now. Do not be afraid...

Perhaps it's the people i mix around with. I've tried to tone down around them, tried to be more civil...

I think some of the edge might still be there. It just needs to be able to unleash itself. It needs an avenue where it wouldn't be shushed, it wouldn't be shunned, rejected or spoken badly about.

Who am i kidding?

To be myself and lose my friends?
Or mould myself to be a better, dimmer person? (haha, i sense something controversial here)
Disclaimer: This applies only to SELF. It does not imply all nice people are dim.

Once again i have arrived at the sticky issue. That my Evil Twin has been bugging me about all along.
I don't hardcore swear, OUTloud much except for "bloody", "shit", "dumbarse", "damn". (come to think of it, all those words put together have a cumulative effect and i realize, $%^&! I am pretty foul!)

Neither do i write honestly how i totally feel about something. Most of the time, i am afraid of offending people and so i try to be politically correct as far as possible.

Ok, so i am not about to allow myself to become Evil Kinevil because then even my parents will slap me and disown me. And my friends will tell me they dunno me anymore.

So? What the *toot* is this blog FOR?!?!?! Be fREE! Be verbally Liberated! Pour your thoughts out!!! FREEDOM!!!

But then HOR, my friends go online, read my blog also leh... Then they know what kind of lousy Christian i am... Outside "passably" nice (aren't i? i am lah...) but inside like dirt.

Everyone is not perfect. No one can dispute that.
Everyone is part dirt.

I feel like yelling a virtual swear word to mark this day of liberation.

Nay, i've decided.
I'm going to be more honest, more mean, if i have to.
It's just me airing JUST HOW I FEEL. And i don't want to be afraid, i don't want to be rejected for it.

But if you cannot face up to it and if you, my friends, cannot accept who i am, then i have nothing much else to say.
Except that you would have given me a lifetime of hurt to deal with.

But should a blog be used for such ugly purposes? A place for complaint, a place for negativity, a place where only the angry and unhappy dwell?

Ah... thinking too much. Of course my posts aren't going to be all depressing.

I am seriously blabbering a lot today.

Actually hah, i am rather curious about who actually reads this, apart from the people i've linked and regularly leave me messages. (by the way, leaving me messages make me really happy. HINT.)

Unseen guests, won't you tell me who you are?

I surf around and discover that hardly much of the world ever has this blogskin anymore.
So, that makes my blog OH SO UNIQUE, and also OH pretty UGLY.
Eh, i know i can easily switch to a nicer looking skin but i think this one has grown on me (oops, pardon the pun!) and in my opinion, i think it's easier to read off.

No clutter at all.
The only clutter are thick paragraphs, which i try hard to eliminate.

I sent an email to the AAS webmaster concerning the lack of updates done on the AAS website. Within the day or was it the next day, i received an email from the bigger shot.

I tell you, for such an important person as well as being the son of Singapore's FORMER super important person, he is totally tactless, very unprofessional and has some serious attitude problem.

One might think that he could've at least picked up some form of civilized political etiquette from his daddy but NOOOOO.
Civilized or clean politics has entirely ELUDED the chap.

Ok wait. Is politics ever civilized and clean?
Ah hah.

But whatever it is, he is such a lousy fella that i will stop talking about him at this point.

Ok, it's officially wednesday, i will post this up in a moment. But first.

WATCH... to see the beauty of archery... and the way it appeals to your hunter instincts!

Till Then.
*towards being more honest and not always nice when the occasion calls for it*

No comments: