Sunday, August 08, 2004


Note: Sorry friends, my replies will come at a later date.
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I am depressed.

For some reason, life seems so empty. Void. Meaningless.
What am i living for?
What am i doing with my life?
What was the God given goal he meant for me to achieve?
Give me direction! Why is it so silent? Is asking for help and receiving it a crime?
Am i not entitled to one?
Should i be deprived of that which you give willingly and give without question?

I am a bimbo, minus the looks usually associated with one. Now does that add to the depression.

Who am i next to the average person my age?
What am i compared to that one who knows and thinks?
Or am i glorifying that age group?

My life is too cushy. Too abundant and flowing with whatever i need.
But can i give it up? No.

I am as shallow as that drying puddle.
My mind, fools the rest of my entire being.

Who am i?
CAn i think?
Or am i just that identical churn-out, reciting the same old tired lines. Thinking through the same old tired trains of thought.
Just a shell... No life.
Am i who i think i really am?

So what am i going to do about it?

Solace comes in that intangible form. But my intangible form sometimes becomes my subject of frustration.
And then my subject of frustration is suppose to be that intangible, but supposedly tangible form.

Why is it that depression makes you wonder more, than when you are happy?
I remember saying something like that in a previous entry.

Some people come crying to God and find what they are looking for and they are changed.
WHat happened when i came crying? Or did i? Nope.

ARRRRR... Is this me speaking? Or my hormones. Or, -censored by author-.

I have not gone mad. God, I need you.

I want to eat seafood crispy noodles again.

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