Friday, August 20, 2004


I sputtered (amidst amused laughter) when i read about the old folks thingy.
About foul language. Funny as it may seem and perhaps not understandable to certain people, i find that it sort of helps let off steam, the anger. Basically because the words are angsty words. Coupled with the high strung emotions one feels, it makes letting out the boil inside effective to an extent.
I might say "FISH!" but i really mean F--K. So, who am i kidding right.
Not saying that therefore it is justified, but that's just an explanation on my part.
Think i will yak about good and bad Christians below.
Rant, i will. Aiyo, but sometimes... something i think my rantings are just childish prattle, so small compared to things of the bigger picture.
*throws hands in air* AAAIII!! Going mad now. hehehe, ah, let's meet after the exams.

Because i'm not well versed with the other areas... How do you think the officials contributed to Susilo's downfall?
Seems his girlfriend is doing very well. I think she's advanced into the Semis already.

*** ***

Can anyone get as paranoid as me?

It seems that everytime a family member leaves the house, or, leaves to get the car to pick the rest of us up, or if a family member goes overseas for a while...

I ALWAYS think that they WOULDN'T come back alive.

I would be approached by the police to identify the person, or the police would call me up to inform me of the grave news or something.

As i have said so a long time before. I keep thinking of death related things.
And i don't know why.

Am i being plagued by little bad creatures?

I had wondered before if i needed deliverance.

Does doing bad things really not make one a bad Christian? If being a Christian striving to be like Christ, being perfect in all ways, is good, then any form of badness would fail me in some sense as a Christian, wouldn't it?

But then, David was like God's pal of sorts, eventhough he was not perfect at all and did all sorts of horrid things.
I'm sure people we consider strong and good Christians today aren't perfect either.
They are sinful too but yet shine for the Lord.

So, what is the definition of a "bad" or "good" Christian?

The very basic fact is, we are ALL SINNERS. We will sin at some point in our lives. We give in to temptation sometimes eventhough God never allows more than we can handle.
We might do many other things. Like gossip, slander, have lustful thoughts, treated people badly, unreasonably lost our temper, etc.

Perhaps after all of it, what defines good or bad boils down to our relationship with God.
How much we value Him, how much we desire to walk with Him. How much we want to please Him, and lots of other things.

I never studied divinity or studied any scriptures lah, so forgive my less than professional theological speech.

Who is to say what is bad or good?
If someone who claims to be a Christian, but couldn't give a two hoot about following God, does that make him a bad Christian?

Maybe it was just one aspect of sinning.
Perhaps "bad Christian" is just a temporary label.
But some people carry it to their graves, without any conviction of what they've done, i'm sure.
But then again, do they finally repent when they find that things spin out of their control?

I think the only reason why "good" Christians stay as such, even though they've sinned, is because of their sincere desire FOR GOD.
If they have a sincere desire FOR GOD, then wouldn't they strive at all costs to do what is right, all the time?

Ok, so let's say they gave in to sin. They WOULD note that, and repent. That shows they care about the relationship with God. For that is honouring God, no?

So what consitututes as sin?
Herein lies finally the question.

What "bad things" can one do as a "good" Christian, such that it is not a sin?

GEe, i'm floored... I already feel SO awful after skipping a class. (right Vicki?)
Silly as it may sound.
Sometimes i can't even tell the difference between the Holy Spirit and my personality type, the very LAW ABIDING sort. So, Conscience speaking or Holy Spirit? Or are they one and the same?

Ok, so here's the anti-climax.
Whatever's bad, that is SIN, is whatever 's against God's wishes. BUT...

If ONLY God had compiled a modern Version 1.0 of the "Sin List".
At least then paranoid people like me can check against it and rest easier about life.

What was that i've been yabbering?

Till then.
*puny little underworked brain is reeling already... too many questions.*

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