This sounds rash but i'll still say it. I want to always be in a state of spiritual brokenness. Because that's the only time when every song i sing and hear makes so much more personal sense and is filled with so much more meaning than when i am feeling as if everything is going my way. It's the only time when i feel closest to God, that when i pray, i pray with a sense of welcoming emptiness, a sense that God is calling and wanting me to draw near to Him to feel satisfied in Him alone, to fill that void.
But can one "maintain" spiritual brokenness? What "causes" that brokenness? Is it a willful decision or a consequence of environmental events?
Implications... Implications... Hmmm...
I was speaking with a friend, and she has neatly summed up the kaypoh-ness that i have, which i think can be an occupational hazard in the psychological/counselling line, into a nice euphemism: Kaypoh = Concern.
I like. Heehee.