Sunday, June 20, 2010

Yesterday, "church" was so different for me.

I can honestly say that for a while now, things haven't been as "fruitful" as i would want with respect to ministry (worship/music team) and my personal walk with God. But yesterday was different. And it all started with knowing God's mandate of royalty upon me, and the choice to ACCEPT IT.

One thing i've taken away from the school of supernatural worship speakers is the assurance of WHO I AM, my IDENTITY. That as Christians, we are Royalty. We inherit God's identity, y'know what i mean. Like, THE CREATOR, THE MOST INTELLIGENT BEING WHO EVER EXISTED, THE GOD OF ALL HEAVEN AND EARTH, IS MA DADDEH.

And since He is my DADDEH, who does that make ME? Did you get that? Could it sink in? I'm a CHILD of the MOST HIGH KING. YOU, when you believe, ARE ALSO a CHILD of the MOST HIGH KING!

And that has changed me, my perception of myself. And domino-ingly, that changes how i worship Him, receive Him and receive all His promises and good gifts.

During worship jam yesterday afternoon, i was playing the keys and of course, it wasn't perfect but i know something in me was different.

I was playing from a heart that knows that, I am WORTHY to give worship to God. Like, GOD SEES ME AS WORTHY TO GIVE HIM WORSHIP. Sure, i'm a little human bean and actually bluntly speaking, a stinking rat and perhaps unspeakably worse by His standards but because Jesus took my place of sinfulness, I am considered completely clean and worthy to be in God's presence (without being struck down dead like in the olden times before Jesus came). It's MY PLACE to worship God, y'know? It's my RIGHT.

I used to worship and still have part of my mind thinking, "I'm no good a person, God won't accept me or my worship, i'm lousy, i'm not liked, He doesn't love me as much as other people..." And though it was a part of my mind, those thoughts took over my WHOLE being. So "worship" became a chore, something painful, something dreadful.

But yesterday, i worshipped and enjoyed it so much because i was FREE! In knowing that there is full acceptance from God! Wow. What a change it brought!

I realized i was tired of the "routine" because i wasn't getting the fullness of what those activities meant. I wasn't immersed in its reality, when i wasn't worshipping like i could. They were, simply just activities, i.e. meaningless.

And i saw a really cool... i don't know... vision story of myself with God? While J was leading worship, He saw us dancing with God... and here's what I personally saw:

I was dancing in a ballroom with God and He was like this white robed figure and i was like a small child. We were twirling and swinging about. I got tired after a while, and i sat down on what looks like a park bench by the side and instead of sitting beside me, Father God knelt in front of me on bended knee, like how a man would when he is asking for his girlfriend's hand in marriage. And i felt like Father God was "laying down his majesty and his heart" just to romance my heart again, for me to love Him again and follow after Him.

As we continued to worship, I saw Father God and I started to dance again and this time, we were twirling so hard round and round that i literally FLEW UP INTO THE AIR (woah lao eh!) and my hands left His and i was left thrown up into the air and started falling down again... And that's when God caught me in his hands and help me high up, I looked down into his face and there was SO. MUCH. LOVE. Like. There was silence between us, but in His eyes, there was adoration. Like how a mother would look at a baby with loving eyes.

When i saw this, I started to sob in the room and i was so glad that i brought tissue this time. Thank God for the awesome water resistant Bobbi Brown eye liner and almost budge-proof Majorlica Marjorca mascara man...

During worship, amazing words were shared. That God wanted to give us and assure us of His promises (for me, that would be my identity in Him!), that God wanted to GIVE so much to us today and that all we needed to do was to trade in our faith (the currency) for whatever gifts he would give to us. The visions shared were that we were being given a key to unlock His storehouse (WHAO!) and another one that was cute was of Jesus pushing a cart selling different kinds of bottled water. Thanks C and J were releasing those words. They were amazing. Oh, but hold on there's more.

The sermon was on honouring as the key to receiving (Matthew 10:40-42). It's a teaching about how if we receive someone (in this context, it means: to honour/to have a friendship with someone who has certain giftings from God), we can receive the giftings of that person as well. And you know how we ended? Pastor J shared her annointing with all the youth leaders, and after that, all who wanted to receive spiritual gifts could approach the leaders to be prayed for. You know, it was such a continuation from the worship session before our sermon... God was just releasing all His gifts to His children, all those who wanted it, generously! Just like the storehouse/Jesus selling water visions!

After being prayed for by a particular leader and friend, i sat there and i was so amused... At how the scene before me was really us just "shopping" (remember Jesus's cart of bottled water?) for our desired gifts from Father God. It was so amazing. I was so blessed.

Thank You God. And a Happy Father's Day. You probably had it all planned already... You are so cheeky!


Anonymous said...

BEST ENTRY ON JO'S BLOG SO FAR! :D Finally change came. Never too late :P

-cheryl keys

Joline said...

Thanks Cheryl, i is encouraged. :D

Anonymous said...

sorry i'm just amused by it.
see you later alligator.


joline said...


heh, yes i know i'm funneh... :D