Friday, February 18, 2005

both extremes

I never knew that i still hold so much bitterness inside.

It's like a simmering well of poison that stays mostly hidden and concealed under that nicely painted unsuspecting picture...

Until something that makes it boil comes around.

Then, i would taste the anger... And the heart turns cold and hard.

Almost snapped back with something bitter and nasty but stopped just in time.

*** ***

I am VERY GROUCHY. I know, been complaining about it for the last few days about not sleeping well.

But it just came to a complete head today. I was working all the way from morning to night, then to morning again and slept from freaking 7am to 945am.
Only to continue working my posterior off till now.

I wouldn't have eaten if no one had asked me to.

I am blogging because i cannot take it! I need to scream so you shall get it.


I am easily pissed and if you so much as raise your voice at me, i will put a frog in your mattress tonight. Or worse.

And this fella * well cannot even WAIT for a while for an email to arrive. I was just going to send the email when C. called me for the second time, *ing shortly, after the first call, hurrying me for the email.

* IT!

It wasn't even 15 minutes, * IT!


Amidst all this pissy feelings. I tell you, despite me being such a wreck, dirty, impure and fallen being, GOD IS GOOD and as i am working, HE'S WORKING ALONGSIDE ME!

I had to do 3 things today:
- do the PP slides for the bible trivia
- dash out to get the games logistics
- go down to zap the journals at henderson (WT...)

3 things but that's a whole lotta things for so little time when i had to report by 4pm, but now 6pm.

Been doing the trivia thing for days and it's still not done... While i was slogging away at the laptop, i began to feel the pressure and tiredness from all the days of non-stop work.

So, i bowed my head and said a simple prayer to God... asking him to "please... let me finish the slides on time..."

And guess what. C. called up not long after to tell me that K. was free to pick up the logistics stuff that i was suppose to.


Then, while still slogging away, quite a while later, C. called again to let me know that i can send the email to the office so that i didn't need to go all the way down.

You tell me who's behind all that?

It's uncanny, it happened all so neatly.
So if you've noticed, all i have to do now is concentrate on the pp slides.


My little testimony.
That God sees what i'm doing, His hand is never too short to help me, He answers prayers
and... He knows the limits to my overzealous self.



tILL then.
*Lord, to see more of you during this church camp, i pray*

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