Friday, February 05, 2010

Though i knew it then, it didn't hit me as hard before. But i now know why junior college life was so friggin' hard for me and why i didn't do all that fantastic for my 'A' Levels.

Because NOW it gives me the opportunity to understand life from their point of view, to tell them that there IS hope and a fighting chance if they try, though the road is definitely rough.

Not to say that counsellors who were super pro back in college can't be effective, but i really feel that there is so much more meaning when i speak as someone who struggled too.

I would find it so much harder to empathize, encourage, cheer them on if i had breezed through college and got my As. If everything was perfect, i would have had nothing to share.

So yes. There is a reason for what i went through. To be of some help to those around me where i am placed for this season.

6 comments:

zhen said...

i struggled in alevels too. until i dare nt do uni. haiz.....wat wld u say to me is i come for ur counselling?

Joline said...

zhen:

i dunno man, back then i was equally lost too.

Lucille said...

I would say, no matter how hard the road used to be, how badly you screwed up, find the next possiblebest route you can take. I screwed up my O levels because of certain issues, but went to take it again. Results weren't fantastic, so I got into Engineering. Maths was really so-so only. But so what? Just make the best of what you have. Work hard. I used to suck at maths, physics... I'm pretty much of an arts person but by the end of my course I got almost B average for my GPA.

I didn't think I wanted to go Uni too, cos I used to be sick of studying, and didn't really like the process anyhow.

But then I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life...totally lost after diploma. No way was I going into the Engineering field.

As you know in this SG society the older ppl, i.e. older by a few years than you and above look down on ppl with diplomas. This acquaintance i.e. some working adult (back then I was like 18?) asked me what I was doing. I said "in poly". Know what he said? "Oh...I'm so sorry."

When I ask other ppl i.e. Some MUCH OLDER FOLKS WITH DEGREES what else I can do with this cert, they said...be a secretary. Or when I wanted to teach at tuition centre...they said something close to "diploma is low-education". I WAS PISSED.

Then I applied for Uni cos I wanted to learn how to write. Some more an Arts Degree. Some ppl were telling me it's a completely different thing that I've been doing. In other words. I felt they were doubting me. Yes I do have my doubts too, since I've been dealing with numbers and writing in bullet points for three entire years. Can't even remember how to pen a proper essay!

But no matter what JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES AND DIVE IN.

I struggled, and struggled and struggled through my way in uni. So stressed during first year that I lost a lot of weight. Researching and writing essays a few thousand words, with deadlines so close to another. But so what? Just keep on going.

It's an irony, but I will still tell you today that I don't like school. But I just wanted to do this degree anyway. So far whatever I've learnt, I think only 1/8th is really what I can use it in my life. My grades in school are nothing fantastic, despite all the hard work I've put in. just average. And really. I hate being average =P

Lucille said...

Hmm...if I can give a one liner advice to ppl who need counselling I would tell them:

"NEVER LET ANYONE, INCLUDING YOURSELF, PIGEON-HOLE YOU!!"

joline said...

Lucille:

The person said "I'm SO SORRY?!?!?!!" He's really living in his own bubble.

Well, zhen, if u ask me what i would say now (and not back then), it's not advice i would give, but just that i'm proud of you for what you're doing now, studying and working (which is hard to do!) and looking around to do a degree now.

perhaps a major setback like the 'A's had caused you to doubt yourself and lose confidence, but it seems like self motivation and little successes along the way have built you up again. Most importantly, you've found it in yourself to take a step up and that's a lot more important because that's what will make all the difference to how far you can go!

zenn said...

ohhhhh, gers, i cant say how touched i m. i just VERY VERY VERY touched by all ur comments until i have tears in my eyes now. Yesh, i was blemished by my poor alevels but i cant kept on limiting myself just becos of my failure once.yesh i m glad i have dear precious frends like u gals. thanks dearies. i will remember this for a long long time.(tears)