we never seem to be able to have a normal time. there's always a current of tension beneath what we've got and at any time, at any trigger, either one of us blows up.
it's amazing and beyond my understanding how you can totally and utterly fail to see how you push people away. you complain about how others run away, and when it is explained to you why, you sniff at the explanation and deny that anything is wrong with you. such is blindness brought about by pure and unbridled pride or pure density, or the sheer inability to self reflect.
like you said, it's a love-hate relationship. and i'm so sorry to hear that, in all honesty. i don't see why it has to be that way. i don't think God meant relationships to be that way.
i never want to be like you.