I cannot even put in eyedrops for the life of me, so today when i went to the optician, i was freaking and whining a little. Gem prayed for me outside the shop and i braved the entrance into the shop to say that i was there to collect my lenses.
It's enough to say that i gave the optician and her other helper a hard time, but surprisingly, i took 1 1/2 hours, which was way faster than i thought i would've taken. But i had my fair share of frustration, helplessness, fear, pain and just pure annoyance. I managed to place the contacts into both eyes and went home spectacleless. It was an odd, odd feeling. Things were mostly clear but it wasn't 100% clear, and it somehow alternated between clear and blur, depending on how the lenses shifted in my eye. It wasn't a very nice feeling at all. :-( I'm thinking it's because the astigmatism in my left eye is mighty high.
When i came home, Gem stood by me while i tried to get used to removing the lenses and placing them in again. This time, i really flew into a frustrated tantrum. Which was... = Sulking, whining, slamming things, getting really edgy, impatient, declaring "I HATE IT, WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER!". Gosh. You know, only people i consider family would see this side of me. It was really ugly, i tell you. I really gave Gem "hell"! But him being the super boyfriend, he was nothing but loving, patient and kind. Amazing, seriously. I was getting flustered also because my eyes were tired from all the abuse and the eyeballs were turning red and became itchy at one point.
I managed to remove both sides after coming home, but failed to put them in again. Strangely, when Gem left for home, i managed to put in and remove the lenses twice for my right eye, and once for my left eye. Which was a mighty fine sudden improvement. What really helped was that i decided to mechanically follow the optician's instructions step by step, moving my hands robotically, and in my head i was chanting: "Putting contact lenses isn't painful, it's normal, and simple, slowly... just keep still, relax, and put it in." Somehow, putting things into the perspective that putting on contacts is a common everyday occurence seemed to do the trick of tricking my mind into thinking that putting contacts in was the most normal thing in the world for me.
Hopefully, i will be able to remember what and how to do it all over again. It was really a nightmare getting just one lens into one eye! Gotta sleep soon, to give my tired eyes some rest.
Thank you Gem, you're amazing.
I think i look... like the same old me just without my glasses. It's not like you can see that i'm wearing my contacts! Heehee.