Monday, September 11, 2006

Sometimes, there are just too many voices going off in this little skull of mine, and sometimes there're none. Silence.
Overall, i'm the only one among my closer circle of friends who blogs almost every other day... I quite enjoy it, airing all my blabberings, as meaningless as they can be. I suppose i just have too much to spout and i cannot keep doing that to my sister because she'll most likely throw her fan at me the second i step into her room for the 1000th time.

And then now i realize... when was the last time i felt like i had a really good conversation? And this isn't defined by whether both parties get to say what they want to say even if they were able to share some of their personal issues. But it's more of a presence of an intimate bond, a level of comfort and trust in the sharing and friendship, that the people who are conversing are able to feel it and fearlessly testify to. Where they know they won't be misunderstood or judged or feel bewildered when either one needs to cry, or when touch is given to express comfort and care. I can't remember when was the last time i had any meaningful girl time with a friend or friends. Everyone is busy. That kind of bond takes time, a special kind of understanding and chemistry. So i blog.

Lately, i've been banking in so many drafts into blogger but i haven't the time to refine them a little into something readable yet. But i continue to blog.

My mom calls blogging time robbers. In a way, she is right. But if i don't publish the incessant chattering, my mind wanders about, like 50 frenzied houseflies, more than what's good for me. So i blog.

This might probably become one of those posts that i'll let sit for a few hours before i take it down again and pretend i never said anything. A bit pointless right? But i will blog this anyway.

15 comments:

Pope @ David said...

Blogging's a form of self-expression tt's fast becoming second-place to confiding in close friends. But due to its public nature, some things will only be heard by e special ears of precious ones.
Not even 1800-Aunt-Agony is as priveleged. Or is she?

******

I'm sure your friends eagerly drop by this place too bcs they care abt you to want to know what's on your mind & how you're doing too :)

joline said...

pope @ david:

In my case, that would be it. I blog because i need an outlet, i share some, i keep some, and the level of poetry or well formed prose isn't a factor.

But i don't deny that there is a conflict between what i want to disclose, my online and real identity, my human nature and my values as a Christian. Which's prolly why this is very G rated, like some little mermaid disney cartoon. Got a lot of filters, better than the newater plant.

*

Yeah, i'm sure my friends do. But it isn't really the same as one to one conversation, although i thoroughly enjoy getting comments from everyone as long as it's not spam, or from trolls.

Jem said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Jem said...

Alright, I am not going to scare ya, but I enjoy reading your entries. Unlike most other blogs (ie. mine), your's has quality, and I don't think it's a waste of time to blog out what you are blogging =). Playing WoW, now that's a waste of time.

Blogging is a good medium to tell the masses about what is going on. People who care about you, will know to look at your blog and will probably have some questions answered through the blog. I'm sure it feels like crap when everyone asks you questions over and over again. Of course, with certain people, it's always good to talk to them in person or over the phone... Just because they are vey special and deserve that extra detail ;)

Stay cool, God bless!

joline said...

jem:

Hi there Jem! :-D Hoho, ok that has got to be one of the few more encouraging things i've heard in a while. Thanks for your input and kind words. :-) Hope i'll be hearing more from you then!

Heh, i gather you're not really a fan of WoW...?

Ambrose said...

I knew Jem through WoW! lies.. LIES!! come back to WoW Jem! muahaha =p j/king =)
fyi, WoW = World of Warcraft, the game i play ^^
and... tho i don't read everyone of your posts (-ahem- unlike jem, your new fan -ahem-), yeah i won't know much bout what's going on in yur life girl, if not for your blog ^^
that said... we're due a meet-up session! forget germie n pdus if they're bz. i can't 4 of us to be free haha -,-'" i'm beginning to sound like a selfish spoilt brat =p
tc! n gl with those darn essays! hehe =p

p.s. replying here coz.. u tagged jem's board ^^

joline said...

Ambrose:

EH. why when this kind of thing happened first then u comment here, huh? HUH?!

Ohhhhh.... now i know Jem's your friend. :-) And YES, i know WoW is World of Warcraft, (see, i READ your blog, unlike you. :-P) i'm a mountain tortoise, but i dont live that high up there lah.

And by the way, that was NOT me who tagged Jem.

jem said...

Haha~ okok... I know who Jo was... She's one of me church friends... think as long as you're tagging my blog, you gots to use Joline or some other funky name ;)

Ok... this is lame... Ambrose, please introduce us over msn...

joline said...

jem:

Yuh, think i'll be sticking to joline then. buah haha, msn is now the virtual starbucks.

Jem said...

I gotta do an artwork for some fraps... but I prefer coffee bean =Þ

Coffee there seems better... hmm...

joline said...

jem:

doing artwork for fraps...? you do design?

jem said...

nada babe... My creativity is as far as a straight line -------------

if you ahven't noticed, my blog layout is as common as everyone else's =D
when i said artowrk, i meant something to flash on msn :D

then it'll look like the few of us are actually having coffee!

joline said...

jem:

*chuckle* All right, i get it.
Meh, don't be so hard on yourself! And straight lines are never ending and go pretty far, you know? ;-D

jem said...

so... that means... I am a long winded person? *bleah*

good way of putting it... haha!
but i do know one thing, with the right precision, i can form a circle with straight lines!

out of point...

joline said...

jem:

-.-"