Attraction to the attractive, to me, is a dangerous work of nature. Among human beings i mean. (Male peacocks are the pretty ones between the female and male, but i don't think the female peacock would be too concerned with his character or the way he manages his finances.)
When one becomes attracted to an attractive counterpart based on physical appearance alone, with respect to character judging, one tends to overlook the flaws, or think/fooled to think that flaws don't exist, or that all flaws can be tolerated, or that all flaws can never be too hard to deal with or made right. All because that beautiful, enchantingly gorgeous being is just... So desirable, that anything goes.
Right and Wrong. While some people do take great pains to change and/or to accept the other for all the bad points even after the inital rush (ie, they make the decision... to Love.) some other flaws may well be the very things that cause rifts and therefore a split between a couple in future. When i hear of fancying taking place before one actually interacts with the desirable target, my head screams: Blinded!
But humans are such that when we set our eyes upon someone of a different gender with agreeable physical features (well, at least for most of us who are not living alternative lifestyles), we begin to wish, to some extent, that we could associate with him/her. In the end, some do and some don't.
In cases where the "association" goes beyond just friendship into courtship, I salute those who have the sense to step out of a potential war zone when one sees that something cannot work out, as opposed to someone who is just too eager to be with someone, or wants an ego stroking or whatever else and so therefore enters into the relationship anyway.
There is a reason why you hear and will continue to hear that looks can be deceiving, good looks is not what's really important, beauty is fleeting, yada yada, because it's true. This is not to discount the fact that there ARE people who are stunningly attractive (by most standards) on both the inside and outside though. To those i say to you, good for you. :-)
So in obvious conclusion, all i can say is... Use (mostly) your brains. The heart, is a deceitful fella.
5 comments:
beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. I think good lookers may not necessarily win. Cos if a guy is very hunky, the decent gers will think twice. "He is a playboy, heart breaker", " he looks more vain than me" etc. As for a pretty ger, i tink ordinary guys will shun her, thinking she must have many guys chasing after her skirts, she is high maintainance. The list goes on lor. cos i m one of these good lookers mah so i can empathise witht them.haahhahahaha
no lah, i very normal looking only. but i know of some good lookers who have these problems. Dunno if the guy likes her for her looks or her character
you're young and pretty, so allow yourself to explore what you can and want. It's part of growing, maybe even with the mistakes.
well well...i still feel that the physical appearance thing cant be denied as we are afterall humans...and the bibles Stated plainly that man judgeth outward appearance...we are all guilty of that...consciously or not...
but then it does discount an individual's flaws somehow...like a physically attractive person has flaws but people can close one eye sometimes...that's the world for ya.
but then again...to be frank ah, looks only last for a while...so the rship has to get past that stage to the personality then the character stage as character is TO-THE-BONE. no one escapeth the character test (at least for me). thus i advice "mate testing" or courship periods to undergo rigorous training and testing.no rush
Eliss:
Yeap, some of the issues you have risen are true. Boy am i glad i'm not pretty... HAHAHA. I think that overall though, good lookers get a lot of favour from society, from people to even career prospects.
cynicholas:
Hey there, good to see you. :-) I do agree with you that learning is most effective through real encounters and experiences. I would suppose that i'm by nature pretty conservative so i guess i limit my exploration stints, especially when the "dangers" can be foreseen.
kimbarley:
*nods* Yes, you're right to point these points out. Uhm... The human nature really can have the potential to be both our positive driving force but also our downfall.
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