Thursday, November 12, 2009

my classmate put into words something i didn't realize i was going through.

Burn Out.

Yes, i am burnt out. Not majorly so, but it seems i'm on the route to being so. The only thing that can get me doing work is when i am pressured hard to do it. Otherwise, i can't bear to get typing or get my brain moving. I haven't had a proper break since january. and i'm still struggling with meeting the practicum hours requirement. I may not get to graduate on time because of that.

Recently, i experienced sour burps, something i've not had before/in a long time... And by chance, i happened to read an article about it and i found out that sour burps are a result of stress. i'm worried that i'm going to sprout out white hair soon. honestly, there are a few counsellors i know who seem to be hiding their white hair with hair dye...

I'm tired out from the work load and personal issues, and one of the only pleasures (other than FOOD) that i am refusing to give up is a good night's rest. I refuse to deprive myself of sleep even if it means that i can't get work done. i mean, c'mon! the stresses of life cannot rob me of that basic need man.

where is God? i do talk to Father now and then, but never more than a short simple prayer. i know He deserves more than that.

The good thing is that i got past that one period where i wanted to simply run off to a secluded place to have a good cry and get a breather from everything. I've moved on from there, but i can't say that there won't be another episode. i could just be running on a concoction of panic, responsibility and adrenalin right now.

i feel like telling the world to just get lost and frekkin' leave me alone, man.

i'm going to bed. it's 12:55am, i didn't get any work done and frankly at this current moment, i don't care.


Sensei Lucille said...

even if u tell the world to get lost, we'll still come look for u!

zzen said...

take it in stride. jia you.

Sensei Lucille said...

Hi Joline,
hope this article will help you...

joline said...

sensei lucille:

hey girl... friends are always welcome to come find me... ;) (even when i want to world to get lost. friends are my pillars of strength too!)

thanks for the link, i took a glance and it looks quite amusing. fancy taking a leaf out from the guy's emotional department. ;D i'll read it after i'm done with my assignments. thanks dear.


yup, doing me best to do tt here. thanks girl. :)