Saturday, November 21, 2009

Breathing a little easier now, now that the assignments have all been handed in. I have just my practicum hours left to clock (ARGH, i still don't know if i'll have enough hours), reports to write as i go along, and session preparations to be done as i think of the intervention plan for each person. It's quite draggy work, but give me this any time, rather than school work man.

I was just thinking of how much work takes up my time such that I am wondering how my involvement in church will be like in future when majority of my life will be consumed by work. I'm hoping that as a counsellor, work stops in the office, but with the way things are right now... I'm suspecting that reports will eat into personal time, which isn't the way i want to live!

I caught myself thinking a while ago, whether i can skip this and skip that and just go for service only. It was then when I pretty much realized that you know, it's because i am around in church a lot that keeps me encouraged because of the friends i meet and the whole atmosphere of being in the presence of like minded people. This isn't to say that God doesn't exist outside of church, nor does it mean that my Christian walk ceases to exist once i step out of church.

But what i DO realize as part of REALITY, is that if i become too busy, and church and Christian living is relegated to a trip to church for 2 hours out from the whole week, i am likely to go down the slippery slope of being a sunday Christian. A Christian in name only, with just a hollow heart. Honest.

That was when it DAWNED on me... why, it's so important to have some form of commitment to a ministry(s), where I am accountable to people and there will be at least two or three people who will care enough about me to check up on me now and then. (Ok, i'm thankful that i can think of at least three. Which reminds me. Have I ever bothered about those who haven't been showing up? I think i tend to take the stance that they don't want to be bothered, so i in turn don't bother them...)

It's important to have people check up on you to see if you're still alive, whether you've died from being blown up in the kitchen or something like that, but it's even more essential that there are people who will ask how you're doing, not judge/scold you about why you've not been around and will even ask if there's anything that they can pray for you for. Those people are so precious and far and few in between.

Then again, i'm glad that what i am choosing to do with my life is something i knew God has planned for me to do. And with that, i know that i cannot do it without Him, i know that i will always be relying on Him to guide me and to bring me through. Which helps me keep close in step with Him. By default.

But still, i may fall into the trap of treating God like a genie, and though I toil with and for Him, I may still lose sight of the purpose of the journey every now and then, right?

Which brings me back to full circle. I need to be kept active in my ministry and guard my walk with Jesus like freaking jealously.

3 comments:

Ambrose said...

just wanna pop by with some random ramblings, since i rarely drop by.
1) Hang in there girl. you've come so far, just dig in and go through with it. Easier said than done I know, but hey! I've always known you to stick to the plan and get it done, so no surprises if you pull a cat outta the bag to clear your graduation in time :) You always impressed me with your work ethics, and still do girl :D
2) Burn out happens when you start getting tired of what you're doing. One way I avoid that, is to do what u just said: TAKE A REAL BREAK. it doesn't have to be a 4day overseas holiday or something. Honestly, all it takes is one evening of doing absolutely nothing. To be RESTED. Sleep in, Lie in bed and think of life, ya know, JUST CHILL. works for me. I'm loving my job, and everytime i think things are getting out of control (which is once, since i've only been workg for 2mths LOL), I take one day (or maybe half) just doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. try it! if u believe it'll work :p

hmm.. yeah.. i think that's about it.. take care yeah? and urm.. y'd u need astig colour contacts? just wear the normal ones? my astig is high, but i think i can make do with lenses w/o astig for sports. sigh.. i wish i can even get my contacts on.. last time i tried, they refused to get in.. dang those dry eyes of mine haha. what's your astig? mine's about 200-250.

zzen said...

huh....ur tactic wont wont for me. if i have a ton of work to do, and i take a real break, do NOTHING...i will be so completely distracted that i m wasting time...all my work will haunt me....hw to take a break? i cant lo

joline said...

ambrose:

hey brose bro!

1) woah, thanks man. yeah, stickin' to ma guns right now. the only reason why i can pull stunts (like all the other times) is well, the grace of God! hahah... now, what work ethics do i have?

2) YES. i NEED A DAY TO DO NOTHING. LIKE, FREKKING NUHTHIN! TOTALLY AGREE. It's just that for now, i'm saddled with reports, reports, blah blah. I take a while to clear them so, my free days are quite limited for now. Well, hopefully, this practicum "nightmare" will be over soon, so that i can get my day to do nothing and also enjoy my Christmas at least. that said, i can say this now while i am in school, but once work begins, boy, i will need to know when to step back otherwise if i can't let go for a short while, i'll keep going on and on and not stop till i really go POP!

No reason why i need coloured lenses, it's just a girl thing. heehee. aiyo, you and your astig, i remember that your lenses never really fit properly ever since prom night like, 7 years ago.

zzen:

hahaha... true. it's hard to take time off with the load of work at the back of your mind. it's almost like we have to discipline ourselves to take care of ourselves by knowing when to relax!