I typed out an email telling my pastor that I am unable to go to Maliana for the mission trip this december. I had tears in my eyes as i finished typing out the email. It is due to school, finances, due to family issues, that made me sigh and decide that I could not afford to go.
Maliana (in East Timor) was my very first mission trip destination, and that place and the children there have a very deep and special place in my heart.
I was about to click on "send". But something in my heart pulled back and i just clicked on "save now". I don't know when that email will be sent.
God, is this you telling me to go, is this me being reluctant to allow you to make a way for me? Or is this just a fact of life that I have to give this one a miss again?