SEMESTER STATUS: DONE! FINALE! SUDAH! NO MOREEEEE!!!! WHEEEEE!!!!

Now, for:

1. Driving (about time)
2. Read my textbooks (seriously)
3. Buy lots of kinder bueno (pleasures that i can afford)
4. Go window shopping... (sigh, no money to spend liberally, but seeing pretty things is nice after being cooped up at home for too long)
5. Exercise at NTU alumni club (free!)
6. Clear my room (need the space and fresh air)
7. Get my practicum site pinned (In Progress)
8. Make that cheesecake thingy with that recipe i got from a family friend (she wants to know the outcome and i want to eat the outcome!)
9. Dissertation Prep and Supervisor Hunt

Although ths sem is over, i have next sem to think about. Apparently, my holidays still require me to hunt and pin down my practicum site for next sem, think of a dissertation topic, read my textbooks for practicum. Yeah, school is not far away from my mind.

This hols will be busy!

I am also contemplating whether i should go back to shooting on sundays at the range... Just thinking about it makes my heart beat faster and my head go a bit dizzy with excitement.

To put a cup filled with soybean milk to my lips and taking a deep, satisfying gulp, is a pure blessing of providence.

I count it nothing less than a privilege.

When we are surrounded by abundance, it seems like it's normal to be having the things that we have. Even assuming that it is our human right to have the things we want. Sometimes, we even demand more.

But how many people in other parts of the world, in slums, in poor districts, can afford to demand that? Their basic human right of dignity is sometimes even forfeited and denied. Let alone having basic necessities like food, clothes, clean water... Or soybean milk for that matter.

I'm blessed, and my heart aches with gratitude.

random thoughts while i work 2

I love (almost) all things to do with psychology. The theories, the techniques, the way it deals with thought and behaviour. But, i don't want to be a cold therapist in the cold office.

I want to be able to move around and reach people through counselling and talks, with a heart of love, warmth, free of descrimination and of self seeking and self loving thoughts, but also with the determination to set some things right in this crazy world.

Yeah, it sounds like a romantic idea doesn't it? But i think that when God is to be brought to His people through His people, He WILL. make. THE. way.

So i should be a counselling psychologist?

But a year ago, i missed the application for the masters in applied psych program (that has the counselling psych track) but i couldn't afford to wait for the next intake, so i applied for my counselling course instead. I half regret this, but i also am thankful for where i am today.

Since i am a psych graduate, and a counselling postgrad-to-be, can i then be a counselling psychologist?

Hm.

Random thoughts while i work 1

To do after semester:

1. Driving
2. Read my textbooks (seriously)
3. Buy lots of kinder bueno
4. Go window shopping... (sigh, no money to spend liberally)
5. Exercise at NTU alumni club
6. Clear my room
7. Get my practicum site pinned

***

Dad: Woah?! He's (Jed) already 6 years old?!

Jo: Yeap.

Dad: That's near the age that Prints (previous dog) died, at 7.

Jo: Yeap. But he (Jed) still behaves like kuku right (like a 2 year old kid).

Dad: (laughs) Yeah.

***

Before you ever tell someone the truths of the matter, or give them advice, or attempt to change their mindsets, or scold or disciple. ALWAYS, ALWAYS EMPATHIZE, FIRST.

Although you feel the urge to blast the person, or if you are just about to tell them life lessons learnt from your own experience, STOP RIGHT THERE. Take the time to let them talk, listen to the meanings behind those words, be genuinely interested, be present with the person emotionally and psychologically.

Sometimes we are so quick to tell others what they should do, or we want to let OURSELVES be heard that we forget that we are having a dialogue, and not a monologue.

When someone shares a difficulty, allow the person to experience the emotions because they need to work through it. They need to FEEL the emotions, but i of course think that it should not prolong for more than necessary. By cutting them short by giving advice and giving truths even with love, is not allowing a person to be heard and understood. If you don't allow them to feel, the message that they would receive is that their emotions are wrong, should not be felt, should be suppressed. And when you attempt to push ideas to them without them having felt listened to, they will not be receptive, chances are, they may be MORE defensive, if lets say they are not able to control their feelings.

Every person has a right to feeling what they feel, whether the emotions are "right or wrong". By saying that they have a right to feeling is not saying that they are allowed to act in a negative manner (eg. beating up someone), but it is saying that we are feeling creatures and by telling us not to feel is like telling us to shut up and/or to stop breathing.

We all need to learn the art of listening, and listening with patience and empathy.

***

I am so glad this week is relatively quiet and i am not serving for saturday. I have a 20-25 page essay to finish by monday. I have to write an average of 3-4 pages per day starting from tomorrow. Arghhhh. But thank you GOD! It's required to be double spaced, and the 20-25 page thingy includes references (which is kinda rare in academic writing).

While waiting for my god brother's water baptism to start, i decided to take parts of my lovely monster yamaha keyboard since i brought the camera with me on stage.

Sigh, i still couldn't get a proper video of him being baptised in the pool though.

Methinks this is a good stock photo to mess around with. :oD

Anyways, i am WAYYYYYYYY PROUD of my god brother. Getting baptised and all. And he's always saying this: "I want to seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness." He's thinking of serving in the music ministry soon too. :-D



***

Check out this "baby". It's as big as my palm!



But WAIT! There's a contender on the right! As you can see, my fingers of my right hand have disappeared beneath the mushroom.

My mom, demonstrating that mushrooms can be quite good substitutes for eyes if you think yours are too small.

Yes. This is the contender i spoke of earlier. It is literally as big as your face.

My mom being my mom, in one of her wackier moments, took two mushrooms and placed them in front of...


I don't know if i should even be telling you to go figure..

I did NOT take a photo of that. Gosh, my mom is more garang than me.



NB: Once again, i think the alignment has gone wonky.

***

Does anyone have any suggestions for good clothes blogshops? I'm on the prowl...

V: i looked thru 3 collections and somehow... i have concluded that in general, tracyeinny's style is different from mine. pragnaz's webbie seems to be down/dead?

Remember i said that i recently have been stuffing my face?

The desperation with which i dug into the fridge looking for something sweet and brown, and the ferocity in how i broke the hard piece into smaller bits, threw them into my mouth and chewed down hard despite my liking for it to be melted and smooth, shocked me.

(I'm surprised i didn't gnaw on the bar a la viking:drumstick)

I actually felt my cranial dwelling neurons sigh a huge sigh of relief as my taste buds savoured, in frenzied urgency, the familiar taste of chocolate.

Uh, I am not pregnant.

Introduction to Family: (COMPLETED. HALLELUJAH!)
Genogram x 1 (DONE)
Role Play x 1 (DONE)
Case Study x 1 (DONE)
MCQ Test x 1 (DONE)
Overall Grade: A- (PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Group Counselling: (COMPLETED. HOSANNA!)
Individual Paper x 1 (DONE)
Co-facilitator's Paper x 1 (DONE)
Transcripting x 1 (DONE)
Group Counselling with Violent Youths Presentation x 1 (DONE)

Advanced Counselling: (AGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Big Fat Essay x 1 (Panicking)

Psychopathology and Appraisal: (EEEEKSS)
Case Study Presentation x 1 (DONE)
3000 word essay x 1 (THINKING: How to do...)
Topic Presentation x 1 (DONE, waiting for group mate to do his edits)
MCQ Test x 1

during this coming holidays, i will just spend it exercising.

because firstly, i am broke and exercising is free of charge. what is more, i get to gym at the NTU alumni club as a unisim alumus. teehee. and the gym is not bad at all!

secondly, i need to get myself into shape... been stuffing my face recently and am enjoying it tremendously. *beam*

thirdly, after this hols, it's my practicum so it's my way of preparing myself mentally and physically.

I've never said it out loud before till tonight... that I've always felt second class. I was struck by how bitter i sounded when i spoke to my leader. I think these feelings have been harboured for far too long that it's not funny.

I've always felt that i'm not communicated to, i always have to figure it out on my own what in the world the others are doing, unless i flail my arms and yell that i'm lost. I've asked for help but i've always been made to feel that i'm troubling people and/or holding everyone back, especially when there are parties who are always raring to go. I often don't feel included, i don't feel heard, i feel patronized. I wondered if it was just me. I think part of it is, but part of it isn't.

I wondered if it was something i had to put up with, close one eye. But apparently, it resulted in a minor explosion today. And i didn't expect my leader to react so quickly... i think the only thing that made it better for me was that i wasn't the only one feeling less than good about the situation.

Not very comfortable with the fact that it came out still because i've been controlling and suppressing it for so long, so when i just ranted, it sounded really emotional and i don't normally rant to my (guy) leader!

Couldn't help but feel bad afterwards but i guess what has to be said, has been said. The next best thing to do is to keep walking, the aftermath is to be civil and mature about it.

http://www.myspace.com/mattmahermusic (the sound quality for the songs is better from this link)

I'm having a blast listening to just these 3 songs on the website!

The last song ("Empty and Beautiful") captivated me musically (piano and orchestral arrangement was absolutely awesome) and lyrically. The musical support really melted together with the words and made it truly a heartfelt, thankful love letter to Jesus.

It's a song about Apostle Paul who was going through a really, really, tough time but yet was stoic and remained faithful to God. Of course he was not without his difficulties but yup, as you listen to the song, you can hear how God sustained him.

Intro to the song:


The song (but the sound not very good):


Maher describes the heart behind his debut (the CD also by the same name, "Empty and Beautiful"):
“In life, we end up having to empty ourselves to achieve that which is beautiful. If you don’t, you never really get made beautiful. It’s a weird dichotomy, especially in the world we live in because there’s so much focus on beauty. The whole idea of having to empty one’s self to achieve beauty is completely counter cultural, but that’s what happens—marriage, service of the poor, sharing the beauty of the gospel. That’s what Christ calls us to do, and I hope these songs will help inspire people to follow Jesus in that way.”
(Source: http://www.myspace.com/mattmahermusic )