It's sunday, midnight. And i'll be leaving for Malacca for a community service trip in the afternoon. I'm not in the best of states to be going really. Tired (emotionally, mentally, spiritually, physically) and down with the flu, bordering on having a headache/fever.
Like i told Gem, it's one thing to go on a community service trip and it's quite another to do one with youths in tow. Oh GOD, i REALLY NEED YOU. I need your strength to carry me through. I just don't have it in me right now.
Am doing my packing now, and i must say that the barrage of camps previously in May has made me a much quicker packer! Thanks to Gem for letting me loan his good ole deuter bag.
I know this is going to sound so random, but for some reason, i'm struggling with so much pride inside my heart. Everyday, i hear myself telling myself to "shut up!" every time i think of something prideful or judgmental. I tell you... I get so tired of myself, really. It's a good thing people can't read my mind! I'd be thoroughly despised i think. Sometimes, even the act of doing something loving can turn into something prideful. Sheesh.
It's amazing how God can love me for who i am. I'm thinking of all the reasons why God can't possibly love me. But when i look at examples of people God loved and loves, people who show the same "reasons", i know that i cannot explain God's love away from me.
GOD......................... DADDY............................. I REALLY NEED A MIRACLE FROM YOU. SOMETHING THAT I CANNOT DENY. I NEED SOMETHING SO SUPERNATURAL AND IMPACTFUL. God, i'm so tired.
Want to learn jazz and blues piano!
Want to find good orchestral (not classical) music.
Wants it to be july, NOW.
Would love a digital piano.