In recent snaps... (part 1)

Lunch at Tony Romas with family and friends. :) With a (heavensent) $100 voucher. Happiness.

My french onion soup, the MUST ORDER for me since i was a kid. Sadly, the standard of the soup has dropped DRASTICALLY since the heydays when Tony Romas first opened. The soup bowl used to be filled to the max with soup, and there would be huge chunk of bread immersed and soaked with soup just below like a mountain of chewy cheese that would engulf the whole of the top of the bowl, with cheese sliding down the sides. Now? Erk. I really don't know HOW it got to this level and why no one in the management seems to be keeping tabs on the quality. But still, it's the only place i know that serves french onion soup this way (soup with bread and cheese). Let me know if you've tried better! Mountain of fried onions with a special sauce (cos i cannot remember the name, only remember it being nice), and the standard potato skins with sour cream. Lovely. More pictures below.
Did i mention that i've attempted to make potato skins? In my opinion, they turned out awesome. ;) i think u might be able to find photos of it on this blog, somewhere.
Fried onions: Quite a tasty dish as you chew slowly to get the taste of onions and the batter out, not too salty, unexpectedly huge. Goes well with the sauce, but oily of course.
Ah hah! And the baby back ribs.
Salad. By the way, i had an AWESOME moroccan salad at California Pizza Kitchen some sundays ago (also had a voucher, thank God). Mm... Yum. But no pictures of it, oh well.
The End
***
My attempt to create hot foam on top of my sunday earl grey tea.
After having tea with hot foam on top at a cafeteria, i was hankering after tea with foam one sunday morning. Having no machine, i sought the all knowing Google to help me find people crazy enough to think up of ways to do this without a machine. So i did! One person suggested that you take a glass bottle with a cap, fill it with the desired amount of COLD milk (skim or full cream does make a difference to the outcome, apparently). Cover the bottle and shake madly for 45 seconds. After which, buang it into the microwave for a few seconds to warm the milk just enough such that the glass is not too hot to handle. Pour milk into your cup of tea. Well. This was the outcome. Pass or fail, i dunno. But i was happy to have some semblance of foam la. Hur.

Jed doing a Cleopatra.

One main gripe about dresses from blogshops is that they tend to be a little short for me! Ragh.
I wish they would make office dresses at least a decent 33"-35" long, as it makes a world of difference. Casual dresses could also be at 33" at least... 31"-32" is just... TOO SHORT. Woah lao eh, cannot sit down without having to make sure i cover my butt before my behind hits the chair. *growl*

There are times when i have to wear my black running tights underneath the dress to preserve my modesty. Guess not everyone is my height lah. But even then, i'm not even that tall. I stand pretty average at 1.59m.

Ah, another gripe is that the clothes can be on the small side, though they are the exceptions of course. Most times, you see free size clothes, or clothes that fit XS to M sizes. The measurements for PTP (armpit to armpit distance when you lay your garment flat) is usually 13"-16" as the minimum (though i've seen 12". Mad.), and usually can stretch to 16"-18". However, you need to be aware that not all fabrics (like SATIN!) are as stretchable as fabrics like cotton, so you may have a hard time fitting into a top or dress of such materials. For example, I may be able to fit into a cotton top with a PTP of 13" to 16", but i may not be able to do so for a satin top. (Thankfully, Tracyeinny has been merciful in this area... but the stuff are a little pricey.)

Which also means... there's no way that i can happily eat, not exercise and put on weight during the lifespan of my current stash of online goodies otherwise, i won't be able to fit anything anymore. HAHA.

Think i'll feedback to the sellers about the length of dresses (which i have more of an issue with) if there's some kinda feedback system.

EDIT: Note that released collections on Jipaban is usually smaller than releases on the retailers' blogshop itself.

Dear girls (esp. diehard online shoppers),

You will love me for this. Go to http://www.jipaban.com.sg/ (if you already knew about it... WHY NEH TELL ME?! HAHA.)

It is a treasure trove of online goodies... They've collated a whole bunch of online stores for your perusal. It certainly WIDENED my list of favourite stores now!

At Jipaban, you can create your filter (eg. price range, types of items you want to see, whether the shop is rated or not), create your own "mall" with your shortlisted group of favourite online stores. You will be updated on new items put up by the sellers, you can create a wishlist of items, share your items (that you are eyeing) with your friends to see what they think, make purchases... Woah. I kena stunned liao by this creation of some really clever person(s).

Yours truly,
Joline-the-online-shopper-because-shopping-outside-is-too-expensive-for-me

PS: hang on tight to your purse strings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After what a certain leader did, i feel quite shortchanged, doubted and discouraged. I don't know for sure why it was done of course, but it sure makes me feel 2nd class by the sheer action that the deed was done.

Honestly, i can face up to difficult truths and i prefer it that way. Yet, I don't want to make myself improve just so that i have to prove myself to anyone. I only have Father God to be accountable to. But still. If only such choices made by others didn't have to elicit such emotions.

I happened to glance at the stack of GNC Fish Oil capsules that my folks have stocked up on and decided to try one just for fun. So i shook out a lovely yellow softgel pill and supposedly washed it down with some tap water... Well, supposedly. The dang thing took like 10 minutes to fully make its descent down my throat into my stomach. HAHA. Felt it slowly centimetering its way down via peristalsis despite my efforts at making it go down faster with my morning earl grey tea. Felt so constipated in my throat! Kinda like a smaller scale of the feeling you get when you've swallowed a hardboiled egg too quickly and the contents are so stuck that you just have to not panic, just breathe slowly and let it go down without gagging.

Recently, i've given up on my Dr Brandt eye cream. It does nothing for me even after using it religiously... and it has the nerve to make my eyes feel puffy and heavy after applying it during the day! Bah. So i decided to give Aesop's parsley seed anti-oxidant eye cream a try. Well, i like it so far and my eye bags do look slightly better (i'll elaborate on this later). Ok, SLIGHTLY. Aesop does not promise to do things that it cannot do like some other brands, which i respect so much.

By the way girls, i'm currently trying this little regimen out. I've done just a bit of reading on the internet and decided to do (in Gem's words) a little "science experiment".

Project ZapDarkEyeCircles (NOT eye bags... cos they're still there)

Before i sleep, i warm up an eye pack and place it over my eyes for as long as i feel is necessary. This supposedly causes the blood capillaries to dilate and increase blood flow. Well yeah, when i looked into the mirror, i was horrified to see my undereyes so red. So that worked. I'm dilating the capillaries to help decongest/detoxify the eye area later...

After which, i used a small loofah/brush to gently "dry brush" my neck and eye area. I cannot really demo how i did it here, or describe it. It's something i learnt at a workshop that i attended with my mom and am willing to try out. Click on the link to read about it!

When i'm done, i put on another eye pack but this time, a cold/cool one over my eyes. This causes the capillaries to constrict again and lessen the redness from the previous increased blood circulation. When i'm happy/eye pack has warmed up/when i've fallen asleep and woken up with a start at 4am to find the tv still on and the "cool" eye pack warmed up from my body heat (this is usually the case), then i'll smooth on some of the Aesop eye cream. And then, i hit the sack.

In the morning... I am PLEASED to find that my eye bags aren't as red anymore!

So, i'm not sure if the improvement is from the cream, or the massage or both. So, i guess i'll know in time to come. Whatever it is, i'm going to continue with this regimen since it works for me and also well, by the end of the day, my eyes feel tired again and will need some TLC.

Oh, and something i found rather amusing from the Aesop eye cream packaging. I was expecting your usual factual tips you get from health and beauty products:

"Aesop Eye-giene (hurhur) Tips

- The skin around your eyes is the second thinnest on your body. Always smooth product in, never rub. (sounds normal enough)
- The eye area has very few sebum producing glands so is prone to dryness. Hydrate regularly.
- Sleep derivation is evidenced under the eyes. Treat yourself to an early night at least once a week (HAHAHA. Boy, do they know how busy people are nowadays around the globe!)
- Wearing UV protective sunglasses in summer (in Sg, it's all the time, baby) helps prevent squinting, an unnecessary strain for the eye area.
(and lastly... the one that took me by surprise)
- Avoid excessive tears by only watching movies with happy endings."

Ah, the packaging writers have a sense of humour, no? :)
I think that's the kind of attitude i want to have in life. Throw in a little humour, we don't have to be so prim, proper and serious all the time!

Last night, dinner was a simple yet satisfying affair with V and Y. I had 6-8 pieces of sushi, shared 2 desserts and had milk tea. I used to be able to exercise control over my food portions to curb the dreaded IBS bloatedness but as usual and lately... i've been stuffing myself silly and regretting it later. I know (both in stomach and mind) that i'm full, but my mental hunger isn't satiated at the same rate as my stomach. Ah well, but i think i've stumbled upon something really helpful for bloatedness...

Was feeling quite bloated (i think the milk tea did it man...) from the overeating and while waiting for the girls, i popped this pill called "Dandelion Complex" from Vitahealth (free from my Cozycot card goodie bag sign up).

I'm not sure what exactly did the trick, but i felt the warmth from the peppermint (an ingredient in the pill) go down into my stomach and in a matter of minutes, i felt the bloatedness lessen somewhat. I'm not sure if all this was a placebo, or whether it was the peppermint or the whole pill itself, but i really did feel slightly better. Shall try it again when i have the chance. Darn, but it would mean i would need to feel bloated again some time. Bah.

Anyway, here's what the pill bottle label states:

"Rich fatty meals and overeating (!!!) tend to cause digestive discomfort. VitaHealth Dandelion Complex is a unique formulation that combines Dandelion, Artichoke, Ginger and 3 other herbs to:

- Help maintain healthy digestion system
- Support liver health
- Promote healthy fat digestion"

Under ingredients, it says it contains: Dandelion, Burdock, Ginger, Artichoke, Peppermint, Capsicum.

Will update again if there's anything notable.

Update!
I just googled "peppermint + digestion" and WOAH LA... --> "(...) A number of studies support the use of peppermint for indigestion and irritable bowel syndrome... (...) A number of studies have shown that enteric-coated peppermint capsules can help treat symptoms of IBS, such as pain, bloating, gas, and diarrhea. (University of Maryland, Medical Centre)

"Peppermint aids digestion by helping to prevent cramping of the smooth muscles lining the intestine. Studies have shown that peppermint can significantly reduce symptoms of gastrointestinal upset, and may even help prevent the formation of stomach ulcers. Peppermint tea has been used to treat colic, heartburn, indigestion, and Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS)." (extract from http://www.vitaminstuff.com/herbs-peppermint.html)

***

Loving every moment of my self imposed break... (when i should be doing my disseration research. Hm...)

Went shopping (for me, it's mostly window shopping) with the 2 girls and I realized that there's no real point for me to go shopping because most things (clothes) cost $30+ and above, which i'm not really willing to pay UNLESS i REALLY like the item a lot. So, i just revert back to shopping online where it's definitely more kind to my student pocket. Haha, ah well. But still, i love looking at clothes, touching and feeling the fabrics and experimenting with what would look nice on me. After all these years, i'm still trying to understand my body better.

Plucked some guts to wear out my beachy looking wedges today, this pair of shoes that i bought a couple of years ago from Bata but never wore out till today. Must say that i kinda like how it looks when i wear it but i need to learn how to walk less like an ungainly ogre... Had to consciously tell myself to walk with my legs closer to one another and not stomp around so much!

Think i might go back for that basic Zara tank top ($19.90). It has a lovely cut, and it's made from a very comfy material. Stretchy, dreamily soft and silky, and thick.

Ok, time for bed.

I don't understand it. I'm living life as normally as i used to but somehow my under eye area has been extra tired, extra tender, extra heavy, extra swollen, extra purple-red. It's not horrific till I need medical attention, but it's bad enough such as it's certainly not normal. Sigh, does someone have any idea what could be wrong or what i should be doing?

I'm now going to re-enforce the rule again for myself: In bed by 11:30pm-12am.

V and i went to the littlematchgirl boutique at Tiong Bahru Plaza this evening... and i think we left the floor slippery with our drool.

The collection that they've got currently is SO, ME. Toga tops and dresses, tops with frills that are not over the top but just enough to accentuate the lines on the garment, lace, semi-looking halter neck tops (dunno what you call them). Gosh. LOVE. Slightly annoyed that their website does not seem to be working. Meh. :(

Didn't buy anything cos the clothes weren't within my budget. Some other boutiques that are carrying stuff now that are extremely me are, Miss Selfridge, Dorothy Perkins, Mango... All the earthy tones, relaxed, flowy, beachy at times. AGH! But all cannot afford. This's one of the pertinent reasons why i resort to shopping online. Ah well.

Ah yes, we watched How to Train your Dragon, and it is such a lovely, heart warming show... And cute as well... The character creators and animators really know how to make (animal loving) audiences squeak with delight! The dragons behave exactly like dogs and cats that we are more familiar with. Themes in the movie were love and friendship, family, acceptance, identity. Toothless the dragon reminded me of Jed big time, so much so that i just wanted to go home and cuddle Jed so bad!

At the end of the show, the image of Hiccup and Toothless walking side by side each other with each of their little physical flaws is stuck in my mind. Hiccup lost his leg from the knee down and had a metal replacement, while Toothless's tail had a fin missing... Handicapped in some way, but both accept one another as they are and help one another make up for their shortcomings. Sweet. :)

All Assignments. Status: DONE
It is really all over now. (Unless i fail my module lah)
Ah, so bittersweet. Now... time for my dissertation! :D

*

Sad. My glass bottle of Aesop facial cleansing oil crashed onto the floor this morning just before i needed to leave for school. My heart dropped to the floor along with bottle as i stared at the shattered bottle and the glass shards that lay on the floor from my bathroom to my room, and i felt such a sense of loss when i saw the rich yellow oil spread across the tiles. To think that just a moment ago as i was washing my face i was thinking: I must find a way of how not to waste this...

I know, it's just a facial cleanser... But it was something i saved up for because it really is quite pricey and it was something that never failed to give me precious, refreshing, pleasureable moments in the middle of a busy day whenever i inhaled the beautiful aroma of botanical oils. Oh well. :(

On another note... Well, my semester is OVER! ALL my assignments have been handed in. No more pressing deadlines! :DDD True, i've STILL got my dissertation to write, but that's another chapter altogether.

I spoke to my lecturer in her office today and I'm reminded again of how grateful i am for her support for me. She was the one who listened when my class had a mini crisis, she helped me through my practicum last year when i was facing some issues, and she was there as i spoke and cried (yeah, i did... the tears just came uncontrollably. *facepalm*) in her office when i shared how i taxed i was feeling from my family situation and needed a break form everything.

Today, she expressed to me that she and the other lecturers see potential in me to pursue my PhD. I've ever thought of doing that, yes. But that will come after some working experience and only if it contributes to something. I would only do it if it benefits in some meaningful way, because... i HATE academic writing. I'm honoured that she would think this of me as i do hold PhD holders in high regard. As i walked out from her office, i have to admit that i was chuckling to myself about my recent couple of assignments that was... well... kinda just well, in my opinion, sucky.

So i came home and had a leisurely lunch of leftover dinner from yesterday.

I can't remember the last time i had lunch in front of the television in the afternoon. Or watching television in the afternoon, for that matter.

(ok, i know that privilege doesn't apply to working people though!)

bonitochico buyers have either increased suddenly or have gone extra rabid these days. 12 minutes isn't enough time to get ANYTHING from the collection! I think you need to decide what you want, within 1 second to 3 minutes sia. woah lao eh. Grrr. not exaggerating okay.

On Jan 17th, i wrote about how God led me to choose Fatherhood as my dissertation topic and how opporunities started to unfold before me. Do you remember?

Well... God keeps making my jaw drop over and over again.

This week when i went to my practicum site, big boss introduced me to a YEAR LONG Fathering workshop that we'll be conducting with some major social services ministries/bodies in Singapore. My brain was popping FIREWORKS, i tell you.

Why?

Firstly, MY practicum site is taking charge leh! So i don't need to go through any other organizations, cutting down on the red tape.

Secondly, the time frame of the workshop coincides with the time frame of my dissertation. Usually, the difficulty in gaining access to a population for research is one of the main bug bears for students doing the research portion for their dissertation/thesis.

Thirdly, when i shared that i was interested in the effects of Fathering on relationships, my boss shared that that was what she was interested in too.

Fourthly, she's HIGHLY supportive of my research though i'm just an intern. She seems to be the kind of person who sees the unpolished gem in people before they even manifest any kind of strengths. When i told her that my supervisor isn't too well versed with Fatherhood, she was like, "Aiya! Learn (directed at the supervisor) together lah!" I wanted to laugh. Her view that people shouldn't just do what's comfortable is admirable. She's super gung-ho man.

Fifthly, there may be a grant involved... Hmm. Not sure how that would work out.

Wow. God. You're amazing. Typing all this out is like the revelation hitting me all over again. Last year i hadn't any idea that this was how things were going to pan out. I'm seeing AGAIN, how God is already chionging ahead, clearing and preparing the path, and assuring me, "Yeah! Follow through! You're going the right way!"

If GOD (hello, the Almighty Creator, no?), tells me that i'm going the right way, then... I SCARED OF WHAT SIA!?!

to know life, is to know death

Strange urge to share this, and i posted it as a note on fb too:

Had my last class in NIE yesterday night. I returned home feeling as if part of my life got cut off suddenly with no closure. There were short farewells, and then the rapid disappearances of people i know and have journeyed with for two years, but suddenly feel so distanced from. I guess everyone was tired and itching to get home to rest and/or complete the assignments before the deadlines.

We usually close our last lesson with food and drinks, but somehow, we seemed to have lost the enthusiasm for such things.

I miss school life suddenly, now that i've had my last official lesson in NIE. And I realize that i want to treasure every last moment as a student for the next 6 months and not hurry the process.

Now i understand, just in part, of what it means to live life intentionally once you've understood what "the end" means. Coincidentally, this is linked to my last presentation for my module, which also happens to be my last presentation in NIE ever, which was on multicultural counselling for death and bereavement issues.

I started out my course knowing that it was going to be tough, and it was. I struggled and complained. But now I want to savour and grasp every last experience of what it means to be a student. That means, doing my assignments with relish, doing my dissertation with my utmost effort and interest, but yet also feeling the emotions of frustration and pressure, with appreciation and thankfulness instead of dread.

I will stop saying that i want to get out of school and get to work, because I don't know when's the next time i'll ever step into school as a student. Another Masters? PhD? Only God knows. I pretty much don't see the point unless i'll get to do hands on training/practice or if i'm making an actual contribution to something or someone.

Earlier would have been nice, but I'm glad these feelings came now and no later than this.

This concept probably isn't new to you, but i guess i just wanted to share these personal thoughts from my experience.

Life doesn't "begin", or get "happier" or "easier" after a (tough) phase or journey is over. Because there will always be new milestones and new phases, Life therefore happens every second. It is how i let my heart and mind perceive my experiences and what meaning i make and attach to every passing moment that gives life, Life.

A little appreciation in a poem, a song, a short sentence of realization, or some kind of explicit verbal expression would be nice. I feel so alone, unloved and unappreciated sometimes.

Words seem to be my love language, huh.

*

"So what if they get angry with you? It's not your fault when they get angry with you."
"How can that be? It came from me what."
"If you said the same thing to 100 people, would all 100 people be angry with you? It's what they are thinking (internal belief system) on the inside that determines their reactions. (And it would differ for every person)"
"(ok... he has a point) But what if i say something that would totally piss everyone off? Like, 'You're an idiot?"
"Would you say 'you're an idiot' in the session?"
"Uh... no. But it's not so much of what i say, but more of what i do or don't do..."

"Counsellors and Psychologists tend to have a Messiah Complex. We think that we need to save everyone, every time. Thing is, we cannot save every person. We are not responsible for their lives, nor their problems. We are only able to help them in that 1 hour that we are with them. What they choose to do outside the counselling room is their choice and not something we can control. 1 hour is all we have, the rest of the 23 hours is theirs. Our responsibility is only within that 1 hour."

"I feel so inadequate."
"I feel that way too. I learnt from a senior, that self doubt is a constant, and an occupational hazard for every counsellor"
"(thinks: *#$%%$#^%*)"

"I cannot be everyone's close friend"

It's now time for... "Scary Assignment Season!" When i scare myself into completing my assignments on time!

Practicum II:

1) Case Presentation
Due: 7th April. Status: Undone
2) Intake Assessment Report
Due: 14th April. Status: Undone
3) Session Report
Due: 14th April. Status: Undone
4) Term Paper Reflection
Due: 14th April. Status: Undone

Multicultural Counselling:

1) Individual Paper II
Due: 12th April, 12pm. Status: In Progress
2) Group Presentation and Essay
Due: 5th & 12th April, 12pm. Status: In Progress

Whoopee?

heart and soul capturing pieces

The driving earthy beat, with what sounds like ethnic specific instruments coming together with an orchestra to create a rich, expansive auditory experience. I could also almost picture myself standing atop a cliff and looking down at a vast open landscape before me with the wind catching in my hair.



After listening to some music Gem sent me from a Japanese anime, i was reminded of a very short snippet of music from another Japanese film called Princess Mononoke. I remember my heart being hopelessly captured by just a few bars of music that was tastefully embedded in a video that my JC friend had created for the JC (he was in the media resource club. G should know who. ;) ). Here's an orchestra playing music from that film, but the melody i heard so many years ago isn't from this piece. If you don't have the patience to listen to orchestra music, don't click on this one unless you enjoy musicians in close-up action. But of course, the piece is good listening as well. :)



The short snippet is found in this piece! 1) 0:56-1:05, 2) 1:45-1:56, 3) 3:59-4:06. The chord structure! OMG. So heart wrenchingly beautiful. But of course, best to listen to the whole piece.



On Youtube, this particular piece received a whole lot of responses from people who were so touched by the music and now i'm one of them. It gave me the goosebump chills just taking it all in. It has soul. Grand, passionate, majestic. Usually i would enjoy a piece of music from a movie better after watching the movie with the soundtrack, but this really got me hook, line and sinker without the movie which was out about 10 years i think.



The rich sound of the impassioned guitar solo caught my attention at the start of the song. The entrance of the saxophone was tentative and gentle but gets more urgent and it sings a heart tugging melody to you. And then.... THE GUITAR AND SAXOPHONE GO CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!! Some crazy riffs can. Woah liao eh, i could listen to it forever on loop.



Piano, flute and orchestra intertwining to create a gentle, flowing, yet decisive piece. Fresh, inspiring, heart wrenching.

HATE paperwork (post counselling report writing). Like, detest.

But... Anyway, with a little help here and there, i'm finding it to be a slightly more positive experience being in the counselling room... I find that having a little confidence (and of course, some priming) helps a big fat deal.

Today, had counselling "overload" in a good way. Lots of case conceptualization training, analyses, learning from others and just talking things out with my counsellor classmate who helped talk me through some of my own knots. Realized, it's quite nice talking to guy friends cos they don't get emotional easily. Sure, there are cons to that part of men (the whole hear-problem-give-solution shebang), but sometimes, all you need is some straight talking guy friend who is sensitive to your worldview but who will also challenge you without having emotions as part of the equation.

Learning curve is like scaling the Devils Tower. But after a day of counsellor-cog-wheel-frenzy, it feels pretty good actually. I think it's because i find myself thinking more in line with other counsellors and i feel as if i'm doing some things right. AT LAST. Need more practice in the counselling room, need dialogue with other experienced counsellors. There's so much to learn and i am lapping it up!

Got home after a long day of being at work and school and looked at my growing pile of clothes that were meant to be hand washed. On other nights, i'd be groaning internally but tonight i decided, "kay, tonight's a good night for some quiet, solitary, brainless activity". So i take my pile of clothes to the washing area and started the whole washing routine. It felt good. Seriously.

Today was a good day. Started pretty darn early, but i was surprisingly "lucid" the whole day despite all the mental acrobatics. On most days, i would've shut down a long time ago.

It must've been mom praying for me throughout the day. Yesterday night, i was grumpy, solemn, stressed, anxious and downright grouchy. So much so that i blurted it out to my mom and she cheerfully said that she would pray for me. Well, looking at the dramatic change in me today, all i can say is, prayer works.

Well. Of course. :)

A long time ago when i was around maybe 5-6 years old i remember being in my church's old sanctuary with my mum and dad one day, before it was renovated. The sanctuary, what it was called back then, was where the adults would go for services.

I remember that incident quite vividly. When the adults were singing with praises and worship to God, i felt a churning in my being. Not the toilet sort of course. For the lack of any better word, my inner being felt "touched" and "inspired", I just felt my insides feeling overwhelmed with emotion. Tears would come and i didn't understand why. But i could draw and write. So i drew an image of something or other, and wrote something with "Jesus" and "Prayer" in it and i remember showing it eagerly to one of my folks.

Looking back, i know now. Being a child, there just wasn't any preconceived ideas, no theology, no debates. Just a clean, untainted slate, open and receptive to God's presence.

And that's how God wants us to be like. To be like little children, coming to Him innocently. With hearts and minds open, clear and totally trusting.

I cannot wait to become a counsellor with a reasonable number of years of experience in the field, to be someone who is more confident, more skilled... Because i really want to help. I realize how much i enjoy the helping process, but the journey to learning to be a better counsellor is certainly painful. And i really mean, painful.

Someone had a word from Father God for me, and that was: Persevere and press on. Your mountain needs to be conquered and you can't conquer it if you don't climb it. You are not alone He is already ahead of you holding the ropes for you and securing it so that you will not fall off the cliff. Only persevere and you will reach the summit.

It's certainly a steep cliff here. And i'm at ground zero. I wish there was an elevator, but it looks like there're no short cuts and i'm going to get some hard knocks climbing up. I just have to trust God that He's got my back in everything that i do and it doesn't matter if i, in my definition, fail and screw up. Because in Him, i've got full insurance and assurance coverage.

weather or not, i believe.

This morning as i look out my window to behold the clear, brilliant blue sky with puffs of white clouds, i'm reminded of God's humour and goodness that i wanted to share...

Yesterday was my dad's birthday and my family was going to spring a BBQ surprise on him with two other families whom we're close to and have known for years. On the surface, i looked fine and even emotionally felt fine. But if you know some thing about me and my family, celebrating his birthday isn't an easy affair deep down inside. But, anyhow...

The weather looked good for the early part of the day, but slowly and surely, the sky started to turn grey... and then the rain came in all its glory the way it has in the recent days in the west side of Singapore. The sky remained dark and grey. It rained for hours. The kind of rain that keeps going on and on and on...

It was quite saddening because firstly, it was our planned surprise (food was prepared by all parties involved), and secondly, we hadn't had a BBQ in a long while. But i decided to just PRAY and TRUST. Truth be told, there were times when i was telling God i trusted him, more to convince myself to trust! As i chopped my garlic and onions and minced up my basil leaves in the kitchen which has a nice big window, i kept praying and asking God for good weather in time for our BBQ.

If you could read my thought bubbles, you'd see things like "God! The plants have already been watered... Enough rain!", "God! PLEASEEEEEE stop the rain!" "Please please please please..." "God, please stop the rain to prove to (X, no names here!) and to me that you are a good and great God!"

Let me tell you, there were times when the rain seemed to lessen and when i got excited, the intensity picked up again. -.-"

So the time came when our friends arrived and i had to collect the BBQ pit keys from the security office. I trudged up with a big ole brolly, slippers slapping into fresh puddles, with thick rain drops drumming down around me. Even the friendly guards were empathetic towards us and gave some advice about how to keep the food sheltered. When i returned to the pit to hand our friends the keys, it was 6pm. They then began to set up the pit with such enthusiasm anyway.

Then the miracle happened.

Between 6 to 6:30pm when i started to squirrel the food downstairs (while sister distracted dad with his new iphone in the room so that he would not know of our disappearances), the rain started to lighten.

I asked God, "God, i'm trusting you for a total stop of the rain!" I cannot explain it, but i just BELIEVED that God would stop the rain though it did not look like it would at all. I felt like a child begging her dad for a toy, but somehow the begging was a happy kind of begging.

I am fully aware of the fact that i'm just a tiny little speck of a human child in the whole of Singapore, let alone the universe, and that asking God for him to stop the rain just for me and my family and friends seems like an arrogant, smartass, self indulgent favour to ask of such a gigantic and all knowing, powerful God. But even so, it was His heart that i trusted.

And at scheduled 6:30-6:40pm when it was time to bring dad down for his surprise, the rain had stopped. Totally.

Not just that. The sky had cleared, the clouds had broken and parted. Once more, blue was back and there was a brillant, orange sunset that was just beginning to spill its orange glow all over. As far as i know, such rich orange sunsets happen only on hot, rainless days.

I felt like God was saying, "Just wait for it... Trust me. I know when's the best time. It will be amusing!"

From just a moment ago when the rain didn't seem like it was going to stop, within a short 30 minutes, it did. And we even had a beautiful sunset. All of us who were there were praising God for the good weather, just in time!

Yes, i may be a small speck asking for weather to stop just for me, for my dad, his friends and for his birthday. From a God.

A huge, unseen, maybe seemingly distant God.
An all intelligent, all powerful, all mighty, all just and righteous Warrior God.
Yet He is also an all loving, all kind, all merciful, Creator God.

Yes, i may still be a speck to many, but my dad and I are not specks to Him. To Him, we are Children. Precious. Loved. Remembered. Cherished.

And it is precisely because God is all that, and more, that makes Him the God I believe in and worth doing so.

I do wonder what yesterday did for X, but i hope that this little episode ministered in a simple and profound way.

While thinking of what to do for my group counselling session today, i fell asleep. And i dreamt that a peacock flew into my home via the kitchen window and it was a VERY friendly peacock that behaved like a devoted little dog! HAHA.

Hi folks, just saying, well, hi. It's the busy assignment period at the moment when everything is due all at one go. I thank God that i've got a 2 week break from practicum so that gives me time to get my stuff done as well.

IBS has been acting up again, with the feeling of bloatedness after meals. Classmate advised me to avoid citrus fruits in particular, and to drink apple cider with water as a supplement to aid digestion. He suspects that i might not be able to breakdown fructose and/or lactose, as well as starch, efficiently. Lately i've also not been watching my diet as strictly as i used to, so i guess i've been suffering the consequences. Been giving in to whatever my brain says it wants to taste and been eating more than my stomach can take. Ah well.

Oh, and i discovered the brand Aesop recently! Ok, i know it's been around already but i've always thought it to sell their products at high and unaffordable prices. But one day while at Taka, i decided to step into the shop and, well, i was transported. The scent of aromatic botanicals gently enveloped my being and the rich, full notes and beats of the music playing overhead just brought me to a different plane altogether.

Fell in love with the stuff there because of its focus on using the goodness of nature, without too much of all that chemical stuff. And best of all... i found a GERANIUM body cleanser AND body balm! HAPPINESS. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE the scent of geranium. It makes me high, i tell you. I've got a facial moisturiser (into my 2nd bottle already) from Nuxe Paris (this brand can be found at John Little/Guardian pharmacy/Sasa) that contains geranium oil and every time i apply it on my face, i always take a moment to savour the scent with my fullest attention. I put my fingers to my nose, close my eyes, and take a deep, long breath. The fresh, rosy and slightly citrus-sy fragrance fills my consciousness and it's undescribable.

One website describes it as "uplifting and gently inspiring -- or evoking a sense of calm and tranquility."

Ah... :)

This was when i was taking my 'O' Level exams in Ghim Moh Secondary School. We were lining up two by two outside the chemistry lab waiting to go on for our chemistry practical exam when...

Me: *sniffs the air* HEY! I SMELL ONIONS!!!

(this was followed by great flurry of classmates flipping through notes to study onion cell structure, etc)

Outcome: we were tested on osmosis and diffusion, using onions to work with.

Then, while we were lining up outside the physics lab, one of my guy friends Ridzuan (the class joker) suddenly jerked his head up, stiffened, with eyes large like saucers said,

"I smell, i smell... PENDULUM!"

I could've died laughing.

Outcome: we REALLY were tested on some concept (gravity, methinks) using the bouncy metal spring pendulum thingy!

I wonder how my students did for their A Levels. Hm...

Rider's Cafe with B, G and the BFs

I'm not sure if my girlies want their faces posted here, so i've omitted the humans. Ok, but that's B's behind in the photo below.

Welcome to Rider's Cafe! A cool al fresco kind of place overlooking the Bukit Timah Saddle Club. The kind of place where you wear a pair of sunnies on your head, and nice flowy, airy and light coloured clothes to.

From where i was seated. Love the high ceiling and woody interior. We had planned to have brunch with P who had just returned from NZ, but he got held up so the rest of us continued on. It was truly quite lovely being with old friends, eating good food and being ourselves.

G's coffee. I guess it was as good as it looks.

Think this was Ph's burger.

My lovely, lovely salmon eggs benedict. From this photo, you can see the rather unique surface of the poached eggs. You can't blame us for thinking that it was whipped cream at first when the waitress delivered it to our table.

From another angle.

B's fish and chips.

Can't remember whose soup this was. But i remember it was lovely too.

Me and a horse in its stable! And yes, i do so love horses. I grew up as a little girl lovingly surrounded by My Little Pony toys, many horse figurines, drawing countless horses on stacks and stacks of rough paper that my dad/mom would bring home from work. Well, i drew dinosaurs and dragons too, among other things. I've got a permanent bump on my right hand middle finger to prove it!
Snaps of the various horses around the area:

Stuck my camera lens in between the fencing to get this unblocked view of this Lovely. :)

Buttercake and Cream (Sunset Way)

Gem and I went on a little date after church one night and he brought me to this place called Buttercake N Cream at Sunset Way. It was originally known as Peaberry and Pretzel, but changed the name and concept with the change of management. We ordered the couple set. Dish one was unfortunately a dismal (portion and variety) looking salad. It was fresh, at least.

Oh, but things get better now. This mushroom soup was absolutely tummy warming, tasty, creamy and full of juicy pieces of mushrooms. Lovely, without a doubt. Bowl was a little small though.
Main course 1: Pork chop. Somehow it didn't wow me, but it was not bad and it had that lovely grilled/bbq (i'm not quite sure of how to describe it) taste along with the tasty marinade. Chips were nice and thick.
Main course 2: Beef Steak. Also didn't blow me away, but it was pretty decent.
Gem had one of their recommended beverages, the Lemon Lime Bitter (LLB), while i had chamomile tea. They were served in mini-not-so-mini JUGS. After having eaten a fair bit of food, the amount of drink served was certainly quite a bit for a full stomach, but since we'd all want our money's worth, i've no complaints. I was impressed. The LLB drink was really good, by the way. It was too bad we were on the full side to really enjoy it. But i wouldn't change a thing. :P
Finally, dessert: Warm chocolate pudding, served with vanilla sauce and ice cream. Ice cream was ok as ice creams go, the vanilla sauce was smooth with just the right amount of sweetness, (made with REAL vanilla beans) and the chocolate pudding was... Rich and thick. Warm. Melty. Slightly bitter which complemented the ice cream and sauce provided. Lovely.
Here you go, another picture!

Fruity finds

Little pomegranates! So cute! But my phone cam focused on the leaves BEHIND it.

Was walking out along the covered walkway and what should i find?

There are TWO! Sneaky little things.
Pomelo! Woah, wanted to bring home sia. But could only bring home photos.

And just the other day as i was walking out, i found a PASSION FRUIT PLANT WITH FRUITS! I was so in love. No seriously, i love passion fruits and seeing them growing on local soil is actually quite charming. How often do we get to see fruits growing naturally before they land up in our supermarkets?

I shall be keeping my eyes peeled for more fruity finds at secret location.

girly buys from Sephora

I've been wanting a vitamin C serum for about a year already. I was eyeing the one from Skinceuticals but it would cost me an arm, so i settled for this. Was hoping to find something that would deliver and wouldn't bust my pocket. Bought this because it's made with organic products, brand seems results oriented but also has adopted practices that love the Earth. When it comes to skincare products, i make an effort to read the ingredients. So what i saw on the box pleased me: there wasn't a plethora of chemicalish stuff i cannot pronounce but was instead made from a combination of nature's botanical goodness. it does not do testing on animals, contains no petrol chemicals, parabens or those lauryl sulfate stuff, nor synthetic fragrances or colours. I didn't know what a gem I had bought till i went online to look for reviews. Apparently, it's a product quite a lot of people like! I've only used it twice so far at night, and not on consecutive days though. It has a strange smell (which i like) and i'm really liking what i see in the morning after applying it overnight. Skin looked supple and plumped, and i'm not sure about this, but i thought my acne scars looked a little lighter.

In my quest to complete my work attire look for my practicum/work, i bought this palette of eyeshadow colours.

Having been wow-ed the first time, i decided to buy this after trying it the second time (and was wow-ed again). I brought "that gal" home! It really does increase the mileage of my foundation. Skin looks smoother!

This isn't a very good photo... But here's a picture of the cake that i've ALWAYS wanted to eat but never got a chance till i went for a buffet at The Melt (sister's birthday). I LOVE the Ispahan cake: a soft, giant pink macaron, sandwiching a layer of raspberries and lychee, filled with rose buttercream.

Yes, i died and went to Heaven.

Washed dinner and dessert down with a light and simple English Breakfast tea. Divine. :)

I wonder if Samsung got the inspiration for one of its message tones by listening to nature.

This morning, i heard a call of a bird outside my window and mistook it for my phone's message tone. Teehee.

Wow. If you remember, i was really upset over a certain person (X) who was, in my opinion, giving me plenty trouble. Simply put, person in authority who might've been able to help me had her hands tied. X is a "big shot", so it's not so easy to change status quo.

I prayed about it very honestly to Father God. You know, just telling Him how i really felt about her and the whole situation. I specifically asked Father for X to take the initiative to opt out. As i was asking God for that, it occured to me that that scenario happening actually seemed very unlikely/impossible.

But i remembered the story of Gideon. Of how Gideon went to war with only 300 men each armed with a trumpet, clay pitcher and a torch against thousands and thousands of enemies, and won it. I mean, who in the world goes to war with a flower pot, a musical instrument and a simple light source?! Much less, WIN it?

Gideon did. Because He had a God more awesome than any million of battle worthy soldiers.
And so do I.

So, i just had faith that my God is a God who works in funny ways which i'll never come up with and He'll make a way for me. So i just did my part: be nice, respectful and do what needed to be done.

Until now, i find it hard to actually realize that God really answered my prayer the exact way I had hoped for, just in the nick of time. A prayer completely answered though it had seemed so unlikely!

Clementi: yummy food place! (Le tian something something...)

This was a sambal (was it? cannot remember what type of chilli was used) pork rib dish with some kind of savoury cream sauce. Woah. Frekkin' nice man, i tell you. And i am blogging this at 2am which is a bad time to get hungry. HA. The dish was a great blend of salty, sweet, spicy. It was tasty and went very well with hot rice. Any of my kakis who live near me or not so near also, if you're interested, i would be glad to bring you to go eat this!

These little nugget guys are actually crispy deep fried scallops coated with batter and salted egg yolk. SHIOK for people who love, well, salted egg yolk and scallops. ME! Gem, who does not fancy eating salted egg yolk actually enjoyed this.

These two dishes were featured on a channel 8 food show, and the shop takes advantage of this to promote these dishes quite exclusively. I'm game if you are! :)

Not advisable to do on v day

You can read it if you try hard enough...

The sign read "Flirting Point", complete with the imprint of a juicy smooch. Couldn't capture it on the phone cam though.

I was amused. They can't be serious! :P

This is Jed showing a little reluctance going down the stairs to reach home after his sunday afternoon walk. This is because the smart little pooch knows that a bath awaits him and he hates to bath! He gives me that manja look and wags his stumpy tail every time i talk to him. Aww!

Here's another manja face for good measure. :P

A Post for the Girls (+ Cheap Yummehs + Item for Sale!)

Kinda having internal girly giggling right now, because, well, i had a lone ranger girly short evening out with myself (after dinner with Gem) and i don't know where to begin talking about it. Needless to say, there will always be window shopping involved and wishlists being mentally drawn out. Ok, not mentally, i actually made a memo to myself in my phone to remind myself of what i'd like to get once my current stuff (face wash, scrubs, etc) run out. So this post is for the girls. :) Which would apply to most of the people reading here, methinks :)

1) Raffles City

Was walking about the cosmetics/shoes/toiletries department and checking out products from the brands that i favour/hear more about. And i found a couple of gems!

"that girl", Brightening Face Primer, $58:


Decided to drop by the Benefit counter to take a peek at the stuff they have. Usually, i don't have the patience to find out what the products are about. If you notice, Benefit products have a lot of funky names in bold and fancy fonts, but what it is and what it is for is usually not very prominently shown. But this time i had a nice salesgirl answer my query about which ones were their best sellers, and this was one of them, and now i know why!

I must say i was duly impressed. The product came out of the bottle as a pink liquid and went onto my skin just like any other smooth creamy make up cream. After some blending about and having it dry up a little, the imperfections on my hand looked smoothened out (wrinkles) and hidden (freckles): an illusion of perfect skin!

The liquid dried up without feeling oily at all or overly powdery. Altogether, my skin looked evened out and when i compared both hands side by side, i was quite wow-ed. Of course, the skin on the back of my hand is generally smoother than my face so the effects of the product was magnified. All in all, i guess if you prefer light make up, this would actually go very well on its own, OR, with a little foundation after the primer. I don't know how it will look like on blemished skin though. But i think if your skin is average-ish, then this might be good! Of course, do sample it first. I don't know if sensitive skin can take it.

Clarins UV Plus Protective Day Screen, $70 (gulp!):

What i look for in sunscreens is that it should not be thick and pasty, should not leave an odd white film on my face, should feel light and natural on the skin. This pretty much did the trick. It was lightweight and didn't have that gross pasty white residue. It didn't dry up as a powder, so it did leave the skin feeling a little moist. All in all, pretty decent. Pricey though. Eeks.








2) Blogshop: Lilies of the Field

LET ME SCREEAMM: AGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COMPLETELY LOVE THE DRESSES THAT I'VE JUST PURCHASED FROM THEM!

Found out about this blogshop from another person's blog that i've been reading. I found the website to be pretty decent: pleasant, neat, tastefully set up, and there was effort put into the photography of the items on the model (who has a really nice figure without looking malnourished!) So, i chanced upon two lovely dresses from their latest collection.

They fit me to a T! AUGGHHH! Happiness.

This one was the one i fell in love with immediately when i saw it. It's a lace overlay CNY-ish dress in purple. It was initially "pending" (meaning stock was all fully "choped" but not paid for yet by potential buyers). So the seller said that if anyone backs out from the sale, she'll let me have a piece. I was quite sad that i couldn't secure one for sure. Was at my desk the other day when i prayed and ask God for it... You know, just innocently so like a little kid. Heehee. To my utmost GLEE, when i met the seller today to collect my items, i peered into the brown paper bag and caught a glimpse of the shiny purple fabric inside. I was SO happy, you can't imagine. THANK YOU PAPA GOD. :DDDDDD *beam* I'm his girly plus chor lor daughter who is just starting to appreciate dresses.

Ok, tummy is bulging a bit here from a yummy dinner i had with Gem earlier. Char siew and siew yoke rice, with the shop's awesome gravy and chilli. He gets all the good food lobangs from his friends and he brings me there to try. So far all the recommendations have been great!

This was the sleeveless structured dress, another one that i allowed myself to purchase.

















NOTE: I have a size S lace overlay cheongsam (in champagne) (click on the link, scroll down the page and you'll see the model wearing it. The image's colour does not show the true colour. In real life, the colour is beige-ish and not silver) that i'm willing to let go of because while most of the dress fits me, the shoulder part doesn't because of my broad shoulders (dang, should've bought M instead!). My shoulders stretch the fabric a bit so it looks quite strange on me. To be honest, the workmanship is so-so, but it is definitely wearable. It would be a waste if no one wants it. I'm good selling it off slightly cheaper than the price i bought it at ($30).

Measurements of dress: Point to Point 14" to 16", Down 33"

**ok, end of girly ramblings**

Remember the char siew rice i was talking about?

The stall name is: New Rong Liang Cantonese Roast Duck (...) Soup. Sorry, i cannot read it either and can't remember the full name. It's quite a mouthful. This was where Gem brought me on our latest food trip. It's situated in a dingy below-building-void-deck kind of coffee shop. The building is directly behind Iluma, at Bugis. Oh... for the love of char siew, siew yoke, duck meat, laap cheong, gravy and chilli. It is YUMS.

And get this. A decent plate of char siew rice is only $2. Char siew with siew yoke rice is $2.50. No wonder there was a good queue when we got there.

Cleared out old blog links and adding new ones to the side... If anyone objects to either, please let me know!

***

It's quite freaky for me to learn that some people want to be psychologists because they think that they can judge others.

***

As a noob, training and learning to be a counsellor is painful.

My skills (which of course is limited at the moment) is openly challenged, i am fearful and anxious. There is a lot of pain to hear about and work with in the counselling room which i cannot "bring home" after a day's work. Mistakes are plentiful, disappointment in myself is cutting and sometimes sadly becoming a familiar feeling.

Yet, for now, it doesn't make me want to give up. Instead, it spurs me to want to be a better counsellor. I think it helps greatly that i have the support of colleagues and a good working environment. I noted that this feeling of wanting to be better isn't something i had to force myself to feel that i had to do. I didn't have to tell (or psycho) myself into thinking that i had to take all the negative feedback positively. The desire to improve just comes out naturally from my being.

Some might say, "you're not jaded enough", or, "you just wait". True to some extent. Burnout happens to many a counsellor, and it can happen subtly or drastically. I know i have to be consistently aware of my emotional and mental states, take stock of what's happening to be able to manage the issues as they come.

I wrote this as i was reflecting on what was happening in me and i wondered and then realized how crucial it is for counsellors to have a supportive friend or family member, a network that will help us release the pent up pressure inside. And i think, i'm pretty blessed. :)

For those who know me, i'm generally more of a pessimist, so saying this in all honesty surprises even myself!

Before i left his study room, dad was telling me that his laser pointer cum powerpoint slides changer (when you press a button) that has been with him for years no longer works. He was a little sad because he was going to have a presentation the next day and no matter what he did, the little device couldn't come back to life. It had well and truly croaked.

I left the room and was doing stuff at my comp when after about 10-15 minutes, dad came by my room entrance and excitely exclaimed, "JO! I'm SO excited!"

"What? Why?"

With a big ole bright grin and waving the pointer about in his fist, he said, "I held the pointer in my hand and said, in JESUS' NAME, IT. SHALL. WORK.! And then i turned it on and... it WORKS!!!!!"

Apparently, Jesus saves/heals electronic devices too. He's quite tech sav(e)vy, huh? :p

Though i knew it then, it didn't hit me as hard before. But i now know why junior college life was so friggin' hard for me and why i didn't do all that fantastic for my 'A' Levels.

Because NOW it gives me the opportunity to understand life from their point of view, to tell them that there IS hope and a fighting chance if they try, though the road is definitely rough.

Not to say that counsellors who were super pro back in college can't be effective, but i really feel that there is so much more meaning when i speak as someone who struggled too.

I would find it so much harder to empathize, encourage, cheer them on if i had breezed through college and got my As. If everything was perfect, i would have had nothing to share.

So yes. There is a reason for what i went through. To be of some help to those around me where i am placed for this season.

Geez. You live on your own world, so don't you blabber your personal sob story issues to me even when i don't even know you, you don't get to talk to me as if i am the cause of your problems because you set yourself up for them yourself. I don't know what the heck you want, i am trying to accomodate you and you switch here, switch there. Woah lao eh, i wish i were Jed right now so that i don't have to deal with morons like you. I didn't do ANYTHING WRONG. NOTHING. ZILCH. If you're in a bad state to begin with, don't go and unload all your crap on me. I don't care if you're some big shot. I didn't deserve that kind of treatment from you.

Where do they get these jokers from man, seriously.

God, please help me.

Rant over.

***

Guess it's time once again for the semester summary of assignments! Usually i do this towards the end of the semester when i am highly stressed and rushing them out. Maybe it's time to do things differently for a change. Heh. In the mean time, a Jed update.

He's much better and is no longer as bloated as before. Almost back to the usual when it's a norm for him to come around begging for food, something that he always does rain or shine. It's like, as long as he SPIES the journey that the food makes as you lift your hand to your mouth, he perks up and runs over to you in hope he can secure a hand out. Yesterday, he was too bloated and lethargic to move much so he skipped the begging but his behaviour today is a lot more familiar. It's a relief. I had wondered if his little kidneys could take so much preservatives... :) Silly puppy!

Friend gave a bag of laap cheong (preserved chinese sausages) for CNY last night, which i put into my bag and forgot about when i came home.

Jed stole the whole $$#%$#^% thing and ATE EVERY SINGLE SAUSAGE leaving just the plastic bags and the red string behind.

Mom found his newspaper toilet drenched with pee this morning, and his water bowl devoid of water, which is a first time EVER. The salt consumption was probably too much for him and he was drinking a lot to purge it out.

Sigh.

His belly is now bloated tight with his breakfast and probably a lot of digesting laap cheong from last night. Think he needs to go out for a run later today man. This crazy eating episode is not good for him at all. I'm honestly a bit worried for him so i'm keeping watch. He's now lying embedded in his favourite spot that is the bean bag looking very, very full and lethargic. If he could make sounds like a human, he would be saying, "errrghhh... (moan)... oh my stomach..."

Miniature pinschers just... They just rock because of their hilarious antics but they also drive you absolutely nuts because they are so hard to train and also possess a (very mischevious) mind of their own.