I know i said that i was going to give my knees a break... (Cutting down on running events, running less, etc)

And i AM, honest! I tried to stick to walking only but as usual, i cannot stray long from running. So when i do, i do it in short durations/distances only. Plus, i don't run on pavements/tarmac anymore, or rarely. I jog/walk on the treadmill (yawwwwnnn) or do the elliptical machine (double yawn, but boy, it pushes my heart harder than jogging man). To balance everything out, i've added strength training to my exercise regime, i do some light weights now.

The general feedback i get from my therapists friends is that i probably cannot go on at the same intensity that i used to, but i MUST still keep active by doing other things. Having knee problems is not a reason to stop exercise (not that i can totally, anyways. i DO get lazy, but exercise to me is like a mild addiction. stop, and the urge will definitely return.). That being said, i was told that i should do exercises that are low in intensity but work my way upwards so that as my body takes the time to adjust, it also has time to rebuild... and maybe in time, i can go back to running like i used to and with a stronger ("more prepared") body. Something like that. I was also told to do strengthening exercises to support the weakened areas.

Points all taken, my friends. Hence my effort to scale down at this point in time.

So to get to my original point. Recently my classmate, who's also a good friend in my masters class asked me excitedly, "Hey! You wanna go run the Adidas Sundown? We go run the 10km one lar..."

Being a sucker for running events despite my knee issues, you can easily guess what my gong gong answer was.

(Hey at least she said we'll walk and run, no need to run all the way. So, that sounded good to me!)

Ho hum.

I think i'm going to sign up for the 10km New Balance Real Run but not the Standard Chartered run.

Tradeelala.

i can't stop me

Just when i told van, myself 2 weeks ago and over dinner to joy and denise that i was going to give my knees a break , i was once again bitten by the running bug. Argh. I can't seem to stop myself. Talk about a love/hate relationship with running, a la New Balance advert.

So when i got home from cell group, instead of doing my paperwork, i took out my running gear, went running and got home around 12ish am.

Surprisingly, despite having taken a break from running (though i still did some brisk walking) my body felt lighter than i've ever felt in a long time, and my breathing came clear and easy. I also found that i could keep running, as long as i took it at an easy pace which given was slower than my usual pace that's done along the canal. Still, the physical difference i felt was a 180degree change from when i was actually training purposefully and regularly a few weeks ago. How odd.

A big part of the reason why i took off running at a weird hour (other than that i was hoping to find my mates at holland v) was because of defiance. I told myself that the reason why my knees were feeling weird lately was because i WASN'T running (as opposed to what most people would say... that it is stiff from having injured them so much). Maybe i'm in denial but i really felt like the stiffness was because i wasn't using them.

Well, my knee joints were kind of tender when i got home... There is pain only if i place weight on it without using my quads to support the knee cap area or if i twist it in a funny way. Did some strengthening exercises and stretching. I wouldn't say all is fine and dandy... Looks like glucosamine is going to be part of my regular diet.

I guess i enjoyed my run also because i chose to go off the canal with the marked distance, and instead allowed my body and mind decide how far i wanted to go. So, there was no pressure to finish a certain distance by whatever time, and there were no expectations of how much distance i should cover.

It was just me, my asics (am still not a convert though), the road and feeling light and free.

I digress... When i think about my asics, it reminds me of that funny trip to running lab where i got them. The sales guy and i were talking a whole lot about running while waiting for me (i took 2 HOURS to decide) to choose a pair of shoes from 4 pairs that he recommended to me. And after i paid and left, it was gem who showed me what was typed and printed at the end of the receipt. Sales guy had typed at the bottom: "Really cute smile! =)" No wonder he seemed to be taking longer than usual to process my purchase. Teehee.

1. Did i mention that beginner motorcyclists in the circuit (relative to beginner car drivers) and inconsiderate ones outside are really pesky. I tell you, they are asking for an accident to happen, with the way they simply shoot out from the lane without considering or even SEEING that a car is coming their way/coming out or that they are the vulnerable ones when they try to squeeze by the side of the car. Sheesh.

2. Kitchen is mine for the next few days! Hopefully i can be making food that people will enjoy eating (which happens to be the minority of the time).

3. Shape run is tomorrow. I hope my lungs and legs won't give me a hard time. I'm mentally strong (in my mind, 10km is considered an ok-not-that-long distance, and 5km is considered to be a fun run distance) but i'm physically kinda weak, for some weird reason despite having been training for months. And i have 7 other girls coming with me. WOW, RECORD NUMBER! FINALLY!

no more. :-(

I think i've come to the end of my running days. If my knees don't heal/cartilage too worn out, then it's time to say goodbye to something that i've invested so much in and move on to something else.

I guess i've got to still train for my 10km in dec. If i find that my knees are going nowhere but downhill after that, then it's probably time to admit that this year's standard chartered run could well be my last. Sigh.

Then Again...

Maybe i might eat my words... Maybe i'll do the 42km...
(Now that i have a willing female kaki)
Muah hahahahaha...

Ok, but it'll remain STRICTLY a walk-a-jog thing. No "kay-kiang-ing" and attempting to run all the way. Nevertheless, i still have my reservations. Like whether i should go for a full body check up before i sign up, whether 4 months is enough to train up given that i'll be starting school soon and it's going to get busy. Whether i'll pile on that mysterious 3kg again like when i completed the 21km. It took me 3 to 4 months to get rid of something i didn't even have in the first place! And, how do i fit my training schedule in?

I like the idea that i'll have sports facilities in school, but still... Will i be able to cope?

Ah, but the thought of completing a marathon at least once is SUCH a THOUGHT! :-D

Hello again, Standard Chartered run

Back from Bintan and boy, did i enjoy myself...

Thank you so much to my group of girls from JC that have been able to stick with me through out till this stage of my life! We've known each other since 2001 and it's really special for us to be able to go on a trip together. And might i add, like, finally. HAHA.

Anyway, i have DECIDED to go for the Standard Chartered event again, but this time, back to doing 10km instead of moving forward from the 21km to doing the 42km. Reason being... My knees need a BREAK! Yes, it's very glamorous to be able to finish the 42km but i know that my pride has to take a backseat while my knee condition takes top priority. I'm going to need them well into my old age k! I would rather have working knees than to be able to boast about having completed 42km but with busted knees. No point.

I'm all set to begin on my training program! Yahoo! Plus, it's even better that i now have girl (and guy maybe) kakis who are coming with me. :-) Gem is going to tackle the 42km with another friend... Oh my gawsh. If only i could drive, so that i can pack and bring some iced milo for us all after all our hard work.

The registration will launch from 21st of July onwards. Don't miss it! :-D

hm....

It's so funny how when i look at running distances in running event ads, i hear my brain saying: "5km, 10km... Easy peasy." But then when i remember the last 5km i did which was last sunday, my body said the complete opposite. And i realize that while i am mentally prepared to do distance (having challenged and conquered 21km), physically, i am not as fit as i would like.

You see. I've noticed that my right knee acts up when i walk/run for distances beyond 4km, and somehow, my breathing is more laboured than usual. And in general, both my knees are a lot more tender these days even when i am just simply moving around. And i worry that they are more tender than they should be for someone my age. I'm ONLY 24! I can't imagine the backlash i *might* get in future at age 50 or 60 or 70. Royal bummer.

I'm thinking of changing my main mode of sport. I've GOT to do something that doesn't tax my knees so, while at the same time, sustaining the kind of intensity that i love to have in my work outs. Shorter runs? Cycling? Brisk walking with short runs? Swimming? Pilates? Kickboxing? (NO AEROBICS FOR ME)

On a different note, i was very tempted to sign up for the Singapore Sprint Series Duathlon. The event consists of a 3km run + 15km bike + 3km run. Sounds ultra do-able! But the event is on the 4th of May, and that's way too soon. Ah well.

All righty. Time for bed, i've got work tomorrow!

I'm wondering if i should make the switch to wordpress. It's quite impressive visually, but functionally, it's too confusing for people like me. I've just made an account there and i've got a hibernating blog with a pretty header, but it annoys me that i can't mess around with the width. As you can see, this blogger template gives me the whole screen, but the wordpress one concentrates everything to be in the centre. So squishy! And for wot?!

To date, i've applied to Monash University, University of South Australia, University of Queensland and National Institute of Education (NIE). I'm now waiting for their replies.

I'm in a situation where i am confident in God's plan for me, while another side of me is anxious about whether I would be accepted anywhere. You see, i'm fine (ok, maybe 75% fine. i'm just creeped out by working life.) if God thinks i don't need a Masters to start working right away. Yet, when i look at my transcript which still isn't too bad looking, but when i fill out my application forms, i'm struck by how underqualified i am to do a Masters program.

Which is why i've told my folks and Gem, that if i REALLY do get a place in the Australian Uni(s), it is DEFINITELY God given, and there's no other reason besides that. No such thing as luck or human wisdom and strength here, man. It would be pure providence.

I'm reading up on the money issues and accomodation. It's so exciting but oh so tedious!

Another thing that i've discovered recently is... What happened to my running form?!??!?!!

For the past few weeks, I've been brisk walking because i accompany my folks to the canal/park connector at night. I have my short runs here and there but nothing too drawn out. Last sunday, i did 4.6km of jogging and i tell you, it was SO unpleasant. 3/4 way, i had to stop and stretch my back muscles that felt really tight, my knee(s) hurt (sharp pain type), the outer rim of my right foot was feeling "pounded" from the impact of running and my chest area was feeling fatigued and tight and I kept having to breathe extra deeply in order to feel like i'm getting enough oxygen to carry on running. All in all, i was a bit of a mess!

Ok, given, the night before, i slept at 6am la, so maybe that contributed to my poor performace.

I'm wondering if the knee pain was part of the result of brisk walking on the treadmill, which might've done more harm than good. Had a slight injury from moving quickly on the belt. Think i strained something. I'm glad to say though that i've dropped a bit more weight since my very odd post-half-marathon-weight-gain. You would've thought that you would lose some after running 21km, right?

Wrong! I put on something like, 3 kg?! Yeah man, what in the world... I wouldn't say that it was muscle gain cos i definitely didn't feel very healthy. I read up on post marathon weight gain and found that it might be water retention because the body is repairing itself after being strained. Ok, so it took me 4 MONTHS to repair meself? Gawsh.

Anyways... Miss Lalalo, with the new pair of rubber to burn!!! You can run with me now!!! ;-D

To run?

Shall I sign up for it? At least it gives me something to train for and look forward to... For now, i'm running/walking distances of 4 to 5 km whenever i exercise and am doing it at an easy pace. Though i can handle it physically, i'm practically dragging my feet along. Though keeping fit is part of my lifestyle, i need something to perk me up mentally!

Here's the deal:

Saucony 100plus PAssion Run 2008

Event Info

Date: 8 June 2008, Sunday
Venue: East Coast Park, E2 (Angsana Green)
Time: 0630hrs – 1200hrs
(Each category will flag-off at different time. You are required to look at the Race Category Table you have registered)

Race Categories:-

Competitive:
Men's and Women's Open - 15km,
Men's and Women’s Open - 10km (think of doing this one),
Men's and Women’s Veteran - 10km,
Men's and Women’s Junior - 10km.

Non-Competitive:
Fun Run (5km)

Each participant of the Saucony 100PLUS PAssion Run will receive:

1. Runner's Tag
2. Champion Chip for the latest and most accurate timing (ONLY for Competitive runners and need to return after the run)
3. PA PAssion Card (ONLY for Non PA PAssion Holder)
4. Two unique gifts,
5. One Lucky Draw ticket.
6. A Saucony 100PLUS Passion Run Finisher Medal
7. A Saucony 100PLUS Passion Run Personalised Finisher Magazine with their photo and timing printed (For Competitive Category Only).
8. An exclusive Event's tee worth $26.90 for all Competitive and Non-Competitive runners

If anyone wants to run with me, say so k?

Half Marathon (that's 21 kilometres, baby!) CONQUERED!

I want to tell you about the events on sunday, but i realized it's all a blur... Basically, because... i was functioning with half a brain. But here's the recollection, after taking some effort to think about it. This is more like my own record for keeps, so you might get bored reading through the whole loooooooong thing!
Here goes...:

Why the half brain, you ask? No, i didn't dye my hair blond. It was because i had only about 3 to 4 hours of sleep, and in addition, i didn't sleep well because of anxiety-excitement and an overactive brain. I think i kept awaking to half consciousness before falling back asleep.

After getting up at 4:20 am thanks to Gem who THANKFULLY gave me a morning call (my clock which was set at 4am didn't do the job of waking me up), i showered and took a cab down to clementi stadium to catch the chartered bus to Suntec City. I got a real grumpy cab driver with whom i had to give instructions to on how to get to clementi stadium, and who proceeded to scold the cabbie call center for taking 10 minutes to answer his direction query to the stadium.

"Eh, i tell you ah.. You all take TEN MINUTES to answer my call. TEN MINUTES. YOU ALL SLEEPING AH?! YOU ALL SLEEPING?! YOU ALL TAKE TEN MINUTES TO ANSWER MY CALL!"

Wa, fierce. high frequency of this kind of aggression and hostility can lead to heart disease you know.

Zipping through the highways in the wee hours of the morning with just one other guy passenger in the huge coach bus, we reached town in no time. I didn't know where to go but of course, there was the marathoning crowd to follow. Waited for Gem to come and we deposited our bags together and proceeded to the starting point.

Nothing much to report really, from here onwards...

Ok, this is where i did not discipline myself and suffered some consequences. I had promised myself that i would be walking all the way to avoid aggravating the knee condition, and if i did run, i'd only do 2km stretches each time. I managed to stick to the regime with Gem till the 8km mark. That's when the momentum of jogging kicked in and then i couldn't stop to walk. Shucks. We pretty much pushed on, jogging most of the way, and stopped to walk or to stretch our muscles when we felt any muscle tightness whenever we needed to.

Throughout the race, Gem was in superbly good spirits, cracking A LOT of lame (and actually funny, HAHA) jokes and i was guffawing away. I was pleased that i was able to keep up the running, the talking, laughing and even the smiles (which explains why a photographer took a shot of us. Tradeelala.).

Sadly, i cannot remember ALL of the nonsense we were talking about. Except this one about how cool it'd be that if God had completely healed my left knee, then i can put this text on the Adidas's "My reason for running" tag that you can pin to the back of your running top: "TestimoKnee. God healed my Knee." (private joke: hey den, jun and dom, that's a LEVEL 4 joke!)

It'll be an awesome testimony on the move, that people behind you can read!

Gem joked that we can set up another spin off under BACC, kinda like, "Being a Contagious Christian: Sports Edition." And then, the makers would come up with more cool suggestions and tools on how to reach the athletic lost.

We pushed on and finished in 3hours 20minutes, a timing that we had sort of aimed to reach.

Towards the finishing line, we gripped each other's hands and crossed the line together... Aw, i've ALWAYS wanted to do that! Ha, suffice to say, doing that was my idea lor, not as romantic if it was his idea instead. So anti-climax right. After we crossed the line, i'm not sure what happened, but either my blood pressure dropped suddenly, the heat was too much, or blood sugar was too low... Apparently, i began to feel a tightening feeling around my temples, and my vision was getting darker. I fought to keep conscious and tried to slow my walking so that i didn't exert myself to the point of fainting. Gem helped me find a spot and i sat down for a while with my head between my knees, letting blood go to my head. My hands were cold and man, i felt like i was on the verge of blacking out.

I felt better after a couple of minutes, and in the heat of the morning, we searched and found the 100plus and banana kiosk. Felt a whole lot better in the shade, and after a can of 100plus and some muscle stretching. But that was when my knee joints started complaining very loudly. But nothing prepared me for what was to come later on.

After some sun basking and photo taking by the friendly Adidas photographers, we ventured to Raffles City for lunch and then made our way back to my place to take a well deserved shower and afternoon nap. But i tell you, i've never been in so much pain after a run before in all my life. My left and right knees felt bruised inside, and the back of my right knee had some tendon and muscles problems. It was a struggle to even walk properly, let alone going up and down the stairs. Every step had me widening my eyes in shock, as well as gasping and whining in pain. I had to hold on to Gem and the railings for support as i limped about.

Aw shucks... but my Gem is the best, ok. He was patient and caring throughout the ordeal, never an unkind word for my plight and he was considerate about the pain i felt and how much i had to walk. When we got back and showered, we made an ice pack and Gem secured it to my right knee to prevent inflammation as i lay down like an injured soldier. Gem also dried my washed hair for me (without me asking!!!) so that i wouldn't get a headache (i get headaches when i sleep on my wet hair). :-DDDDDD This kind of boyfriend where to find?!?!

Fast forward to after our nap and dinner at Ghim Moh... (we had YUMMY BLACK PEPPER CRAB, thai sauce chicken and mixed veg by the way! Awesome man...)

Back home, while sitting through another ice pack treatment for my left knee, i fell asleep on the couch in the living room. Gem watched a movie (Underworld Evolution. HAHA.) while waiting for me to awake so that i could go back to my room to sleep. But i didn't, so he brought out my blanket and covered me with it. And that was around 1+ to 2am, mind you. He waited THAT long!

When i awoke on monday morning, i noticed that the ice pack was gone and that i was snuggled under my smelly (smells like Jed) blanket, and altogether feeling quite well taken care of. I felt like Gem knew my every need and responded exactly the way i would've needed him to. While i got up to get ready for work, Gem made both of us a scrambled egg sandwich each and made me a cup of milo for breakfast.

God, i thank you for this wonderful guy who knows how to take good care of me! I was and still am feeling really blessed by him. Honestly, i think he might've done more than what i've described here, but my memory of sunday and monday is really hazy so this is about as much as i can recall.

I still can't get over the fact that i'm done with a half marathon. The most i've ever run in my life is 11.5 to 12km. And that's around the time i injured my left knee and ceased running for 1 month. And then here i am, a finisher of 21km. My physiotherapist friend told me that what i did wasn't exactly a good idea, which i agree with. But, ok, i'm stubborn when it comes this kind of thing. It's funny how during the last part of the run, 90% of pain present was muted prolly due to natural pain killers or some remarkable brain ability, but the minute you finish, the pain comes like a sledgehammer.

When i did my first 5km, i thought, "why would anyone want to run 10km?" But then, after completing the Shape Run 5km, the Standard Chartered 10km seemed doable. When i was training for my 10km, i thought, "i'd never want to endure 21 km! I don't see myself ever running 21km." But then, i decided to go for the challenge and did my first 21km last sunday. Before my 21km, i was thinking, "42km? NUTS! I'd never do that, i'd kill my knees! Look at all those people suffering, man!" But now... i'm beginning to feel my mentailty slowly changing... Oh boy. What have i gotten myself into! I think i've inevitably set myself up for 42km already.

Oh my GAWSH.

PS: I'll never forget the pain i went through after this run. i've learnt that training for a run is not all about endurance and running your legs off. Training up and strengthening (weight and resistance training) the muscles is just as important so that you don't bonk during and after the race!

Happiness is when you receive a call at night from a family member who's not home yet, asking if you want some treats (that s/he can get on the way home). Like maybe, fries, drinks, chicken wings...

Simple pleasures. It always brings a smile to my face. And it just tells me that the person is thinking of us, the home, and loving us in the way they know how to.

On a less romantic note...

From when i was a wee kid, to the 20 something year old that i am, i've many fears. One of which is that if a family member isn't home by a certain time, the next phone call that pierces the quiet night will be one from a police officer bearing bad news. I'm serious. I tend to be paranoid over certain things. I guess this is why they say that everyone has a psychological disorder, just to some extent. Nothing clinical, just that we may show some mild behavioural signs.

***

Although i don't have a FYP in my final sem, the load i'm carrying this sem sure feels like i've got one. School readings and assignments, workplace work, exam prep, mission trip prep, half marathon prep, church commitments. *Glug* Am i drowning?

***

For some WEIRD reason, my home has been receiving multiple calls from these people who are trying to sell a food supplement, some royal jelly thing. I do not know HOW they got our number, and they just keep calling every other day. They're usually kind of polite, all of them have strong indian accents (i don't know why! beats me...), a bit pushy, but if you are firm they'll let you off the hook. My phone caller ID registers the calls as "out of area", meaning not within Singapore (or do they not want you to know where they are calling from even if it's within Singapore?), which makes it all the more puzzling to me.

Do any of you get these calls too?

The next time one of them calls, i think i might try a couple of things instead of cutting them off to tell them that i am not interested:

1. asking them where they are calling from, where they got my contact, ask why i get so many calls
2. mention... the police? (hurhur)
3. after the most recent call, i had a sudden thought. why not attempt to share the gospel instead? hurhur.

***

The few most enduring mild swear words in Singapore are, "wa lao (eh)", "shit (or crap)"

***

Ran 8.1 km today. I'm surprised at myself, since the last time i ran was last tuesday and i only hit 6.6 - 6.8km. I felt my leg joints getting wary by the time i hit about 5+km, but i knew i had to discipline myself to keep going. If at any time i lag for a week, or fall sick from now till december, it'll be extremely tough to tackle the half marathon lah. Especially since i'm not really a running person.

But it's so painfully boring though... Thank God for mp3 players. I used to run without any kind of distraction. You know, just me and the road. But after trying it once after much persuasion from gem, i think i see why he's so insistent. I don't want to be reliant on it, but it seems that i'm en route to just that!

Hey people!

Man, it feels good a day after a run at MacRitchie Reservoir. Gem and i took a took slow run through Prunus and Petai Trail (two and maybe one quarter times = 6+ km) yesterday afternoon. A mix of trail through the jungle and then the boardwalk along the perimeter of the jungle which was uber shiok.

It was a good change from running along my usual park connectors. Smelling rich earthy fragrances, feeling sticky and sweaty in the humid jungle, feeling my shoes crunch and grip onto the pebbles and stones, being careful not to twist an ankle and hurt the knees, seeing monkeys and one little baby monkey, lizards, people feeding the fishes, going uphill and downhill, hearing the jungle sounds and feeling the cool breeze along the boardwalk portion of the route, gazing across the vast reservoir in the evening... Beautiful. =D

Much thanks to Gem for just being there with me and killing the boredom while running (he suggested strapping a DVD player to his back next time so that i can watch along the way), keeping to my pace and staying behind me, (which can be difficult for a guy, cos i run very slowly. teehee.) being our camel by carrying a waist pouch with Pocari Sweat in it, and tolerating my very unpredictable moods that varied with how irritated i was with my mp3 player headphones that kept dropping out from my ears, as well as whenever i was feeling the burn (when speed is too fast or when going upslope). *sheepish* He's a very good partner. :-D

I had a big reward after our run! He whipped out kinder bueno (LOVE!) while walking to the bus stop, and we got to eat the famous prawn noodles at Adam Road, the fruit juice special as well, and we got to try the Serene Centre Creme Brulee (at some French "restaurant". It wasn't really a restaurant, more like a kitchen. Yeah, a French Kitchen.). Rather pathetic in serving size though, this creme brulee, but in a way, i didn't care because i've been having a creme brulee craving for yonkity donks.

I can't wait for the new balance real run! Whoopee!

OHOH OH...

Who wants to go rock climbing?
And blading? (Alina has asked me for the 2nd time already!)
And night riding (bicycle) ? (i understand that parents may not like the idea of this one though)

AHHH!

***

For some reason, i dreamt that i was running through Marina Square, for the fun of it as well as looking for something... And then. As dreams are queer, another scene i had was that i was going to begin a sprint on the 100m stretch on a 400m track with a few friends. One of whom was Chen Qing, an old secondary mate who is a SUPER fast runner. If he had been talent scouted, he'd make good in a 4 x 100m sprint team for sure!

I don't understand why i keep having dreams of people whom i hardly associated with at the moment.

Thanks to KL for helping us take our post race smiles!








On the way to the benches to prep...
Issy: Hey, what's your number? (takes out number tag)
Jo: (takes tag out, flaps it open...)
Issy: EH!
Jo: EH!
Jo and Issy both stare at our number tags and burst into girly giggles. HAHA! Well, we did sign up for it together, at the same time after all. But still... Cool beans!


The run was really "energising"<-- i quote Yeanni, and i am UBER PROUD OF THEM FOR FINISHING THE RACE IN GOOD TIME AND GOOD SPIRIT! WELL DONE! The run was surprisingly easy! I think the main reason for this was that i started out real nice and comfortable, for around 2.5km. Which i did not realize, primed by body well for the 2km or so dash to the finish line. Ok, i'm going to need a pacer for my next run, a person to keep me running SLOWLY! I tend to start off too fast (which is relative to my subjective meaning of "fast". guys, i am NOT a fast runner hor) and end up feeling the burn too early than i would like.

(to Gem: i think that with the length of your stride, you'll be strolling beside me man... for all our trainings and during the 7km leg of the NB real run)

I think the trainings at the good ole park connector strengthened me mentally, while the sheares bridge run (which was a little punishing, running part of the way with two guys) was a physical kick in the butt to get me ready for the 5km. Running that 2 km park connector length is SO BORING, and as Issy puts it "it seems never ending". So when you get to run throughout town with the changing and not-too-familiar scenery, you get to really see the distance you've covered and how far you've actually ran.

Muah hahhaa, i am slowly psychoing the ntu cell girls into going for runs with me! *rubs palms with glee*

Grarrrff. No pictures from our sheares bridge run yesterday. Hey, i was out there with two strapping young men who'll think i'm a nut/crazy bimbo if i whipped out my camera to snap pictures. I didn't want to super pai seh myself in front of them, ok?

My conclusion from yesterday's 6km: I NEED MORE TRAINING. Not so much as to get a better timing, or to fulfil any expectations/requirements... But mostly to GET INTO SHAPE FIRST! The timing and all that can come later. I've been doing my weekly walks and little runs but no full fledged training, due to my schedule and other committments. But as a result of that, my knee started to hurt halfway and my right calf began to experience the beginnings of an ache that felt like it might've gone into a cramp if i exerted myself more. I don't really know what it was since it didn't get worse, but i slowed my pace and made sure i moved to the left of the road to anticipate the chance that i may have to stop. Despite being able to jog all the way, I've NEVER had such ailments during my runs before! This goes to show that i was ill prepared.

Running long distances is not my passion. I prefer sprinting, like for 100m, which is my pet distance. ;-> Running long distances is something i do out of necessity for my health, and for the challenge and because in general, i like sports. While there's an element of "for fun" in running, it's not really my idea of fun (fun would be something like archery, shooting...). I run, well, also because logistically it is simple and it doesn't require me to bug anyone.

In preparation for a potentially punishing ordeal, a.k.a new balance real run (read: real torture), i'm going to plan out a schedule where i'll train at East Coast: on road and on sand. I've got to. As for trail training, i guess Bukit Timah Hill will be it. There go my sundays and maybe some saturdays. Strangely, i think the part i'm already hating most as i write this isn't the training but the travelling hassle to my destinations. Teehee. Where're the teleportation stations?!

I don't know how i'm going to do this, but i can foresee that my self discipline is going to be stretched beyond the norm. Now, to plan my training.

about dads: in heaven and earth

I'm baacckk. After a week of hiatus. I didn't quite have anything interesting to say, and for obvious reasons, i didn't think i could move on with a clear state of mind what with some issues bugging me. While i'm ok now, i know that my heart and mind need to heal slowly. But nothing too tragic that i cannot handle... With God of course. God has been revealing a lot of things to me about myself recently, good thing i wrote them all down. I strongly believe that as i clear the obstacles, i'll be able to better live out the "abundant life" that Christ really means for us to enjoy in Him. :-)

Ok, i've not been running as intensely and as often as i like these days despite having a run coming up this sunday. I'll be running with my brot.... er, i mean, sister, Ambrose! Time for a cliche: we'll be "running this race together" just as we will run the race of life as siblings in Christ.

Singapore Bay Run, here we come!

***

The other day, i had a bad bout of bloating because of this IBS thingy (that's "irritable bowel syndrome" for you) and i was so visibly upset that when my mom asked me what was wrong, i cried as i told her how frustrated i was since i thought i was getting much better already. And i was (still am) taking such expensive medicines.

And so it is within a family that news passes around as quickly as Jed eats food. Mom asked if i wanted someone to pray for me, and i said yes... So she told my dad about it and as i was lying on my bed, feeling bloated and all, dishevelled-after-shower-wet-hair, tear stained face plastered to and half hiding behind my thick bolster, my dad walked into my room to talk to me.

He said that sometimes, we get afflicted with problems in life. Not everyone can be in perfect health... And being a christian, we are not exempted from it either. It just teaches us to rely and trust in God. We can pray and ask for healing, and if God heals us, great!, but if he doesn't, praise and thank him anyway. Believing in God is not about the good times only, but also in the bad.

We don't stop praising or thanking him when we go through tough times (God is God, and he alone is worthy of praise, so it's not how we feel, what he does for us, or what we go through that is an indicator of how intensely we should be worshipping him).These are the very words that i tell myself and other people all the time. It's as if the test for me to believe in these very words is here. Dad spoke to me in a logical, kind of disciplining, yet very gentle way. I wonder what he thought about his daughter at that point in time as he looked at me in that rather pathetic looking predicament.

I could only nod my head slightly every time i agreed with him, sniff, blink my swollen eyes and utter "Mm." at intervals.

So after he spoke to me, we closed our eyes and he prayed for me. It was simple, sincere, love-and-wisdom filled. I felt like crying some more, not because of what was being said in his prayer, but because my daddy had placed his hand gently on my belly and that he was praying for me! My daddy was praying for me!

It's not that my dad would not do something like this for me if i had asked at other times. But it was just how he doesn't always show his love in such a tender and loving way, and how he is always the critical man he is during conversations and has always something to say for everything that i do. I was just touched that here i am, having some personal time with my dad (or dads? you know, the one in heaven) when i was feeling vulnerable and in need.

So yeah, i don't quite know how to end this post except to tell you that i am in tears now again just thinking about that experience and that there's nothing like knowing that there ARE people who care for and love you.

PS: The other night, over dinner, dad said: "Don't eat too much chilli ah, it'll give you gas." In my usual stubborness, i just nodded and smiled slightly (i like chilli ok!) and didn't really say "yes ok". But i took heed of his advice, and though i usually hear warnings as irritating nagging, in my heart i heard very loudly the "I love you" that my dad had just said to me.

Pounding the ground

I just had a lovely 4km run today. Lungs feel like it can handle my deep breaths a bit better, doesn't feel as heavy like a week ago. Body didn't tire as easily. I'm slowly getting back my fitness, but i've still a way to go... Judging by my 100m sprint that i do for fun after my runs. Usually the sprint speed will last the whole way but today i slowed before i hit the finishing 0 meter mark.

I got my mailer from Standard Chartered. To register at a discounted rate, I've got to register soon... So... if any of you girls want to run, we'll do the 10km together. If not, i'll be signing up for the 21km.

Please drop me message when/if you read this.

randomology again while essaying

The first thing i'm going to do after my exams this sem is to get some (more) exercise gear, namely: bike/gym shorts and running t-shirts (not tank tops, i've got enough of those).

I've discovered once again how effective the running plans from the polar personal trainer website is. Unfortunately, i think you can only access this feature if you've got a polar (heart rate monitor) watch though. In about one plus month after following the program to improve and maintain my fitness, i can feel the obvious benefits reaped from the way i feel when i go for my daily runs.

The only thing i'm not liking is the pain both my knees are giving me, which is why i make sure i warm up before attempting to run. Think there've been times when i've over exercised, and one of the main reasons why they hurt today is because of the poor treatment of my knees back in my secondary school days... Days of doing high jumps and other assorted sports without the proper procedures to take care of my joints.

***

God, please allow Pat's Schoolhouse to say yes to me going in to do my interviews... PLEASE... Either that, i need another preschool to give me the greenlight REALLY badly...

***

I'm glad i've got friends. Church friends, JC friends, Secondary School friends, Uni friends. What would i do without these people? While family members are the people who'll stick by you pretty much no matter what, saying the things you may not want to hear though you need to...

Sometimes, there're just some things you share only with friends because they're your peers and also won't be too quick to pass "righteous" or disparaging judgement. Sharing things with friends provides a different kind of platform to analyse or to just hear out your issues, i feel. That said, don't you wish friends wouldn't be so politically correct at times. (Me guilty!)

At times, i fear that my honesty may hurt or cause a crack in a friendship. But really, if we both value each other, both of us should be willing to understand where the other is coming from when the honest opinions surface. If anything, it should bring people closer, especially when the truth is spoken out of love. Or either that, the honesty should simply be a reflection of the beauty of trust between two people in that they know one another enough to be able to laugh at themselves.

***

I wonder if the reality of working for the next 40 or so years has hit my sister. She seems so at ease with her working life, as if she is simply coasting along the beaches of Hawaii. She doesn't complain, doesn't show signs of fatigue or disillusionment. Just fine and dandy. I really wonder what going on beneath that calm exterior.

I'm amused that one of the authors of my british written textbooks has "Woodhead" for his sirname. HAHAHAHA. Kayu!

***

ok, i was surprised but i'm happy nonetheless. Singapore won the ASEAN Football Championship! During the (church) band jamming i had on sunday, i overheard one of my mates say to another: "Singapore will win. Definitely." I was tempted to ask him how he could be so sure and whether... God told you ah?

And the Thais were nice throughout, so yay. :-)

I was amused at myself when i leapt to my feet from my reclining position with my arms flailing in the air and screaming like a loony. The goal was sooooooooo sweet i tell you. Flanked by defenders but he slotted the ball in so seamlessly. Awesome...

***

Speaking of "loony-s". Quite a number of years ago when i was in primary school, i went on a trip to Australia with my family. So there i was at the cashier paying for something and being new to the currency, i wasn't sure which coin was which. The nice lady at the cashier said to me, "there, that one with the Loony behind (the coin)".

Unfortunately for Ignorant Me, i didn't know that the bird engraved "on the back" of the coin was called a "Loony". So i was flipping the coin back and forth, looking for a "Loony". And mind you, the other picture on the flipside of the coin was the picture of the Queen.

Teehee, to someone who knew what a loony was, i probably looked like a cheeky kid who was trying to decide who the Loony was.

On hindsight, my rude mind would probably be adding a caption under that incident: "Which one?"
No offence of course, to the Queen.

***

Anyway, i read through the most recent posts and they sound pretty much like the rantings of a very negative and disturbed person. Truth be told, while i may be the pessimist, i'm not dysfunctional! I may be dysfunctional is some ways, but i'm just an ordinary person who needs to rant and here's the best place because i don't need to pester someone out for coffee so that s/he can listen to me, and you can easily click off to a happier website when you feel like it.

Yesterday i went for my first 3km in almost 2 months ever since i came down with the flu. Wasn't all that enjoyable even though i've lost 1kg and should have felt lighter on my feet. Instead, i've lost the light bounce in my jogging step, and the tightness that i used to feel when i was fit was gone. I had to force my lead weight legs to move faster than a brisk walk. My breathing was heavier and i got tired faster. Looks like i've got to work at it all over again. Man, getting sick messes up your health.

It's only been 2 months since the standard chartered run, but it feels like almost 6 months ago!

Lots of things lined up for me this month. Good friend has left Sg, trying to get into the role of being a buddy leader in cell without cell group meetings, involving myself in Spectra365 that'll require all my wit, heart and soul, getting school work done, doing stuff for a close friend's important day, thinking about my band and how to make things better for them. Even Gem and i haven't spoken a lot. Did someone say "how about V Day?" Probably going to be non-existent.

Tell me how not to be knackered... Mentally and emotionally. And some say spiritually.

Breathe, jo breathe...

Yesterday i survived a full day out on 4 hours of sleep.

Now, in the 20 hours that was sunday the 3rd, my day began at 4:20 am and i spent the following hours travelling to town and running my crazy self around the city hall, raffles, and marina area with thousands of other crazy people while the rest of Singapore was asleep.

If i think that's crazy, i sure wasn't crazy enough to attempt the 42km marathon. (a friend's friend was a casualty for that category. I hope he's recovering well and isn't too traumatised by his experience. :-< )

I'm pleased with my first 10km run in my life ever. 10km's not much according to most standards and it's not that i finished it with a superb timing, but it's because i finished it below my estimated time, while still being able to enjoy myself through and through from starting point to finish.

I loved feeling how my body moved easily and smoothly along the route without feeling as if i was a 100kg blobfish on two human legs. There weren't any signs of heavy, uncomfortable laborous breathing or muscle burning and i was able to pace myself with my self-talk and wasn't pressured by other runners. I felt totally at ease, like there was no physical strain, no pessimistic thoughts of "dang, this is going to be a long, sad, torturous run". Somehow, the body's system, from psychological and physical, was well tuned and prepared, without the preparation. Thank God!

I've a certain baseline stamina that can take me through 3-4 km at a shot, without very regular weekly runs (though you still need to be fit to some extent). But you can be sure that i didn't train for the 10km run at all, which was well understood, that even in the days before the run took place, my dad waved his hands at me and sneered that i haven't even been training for it.

Last night i came into his study with my "prize" and showed him the medal, to which he said: "Woah, not bad ah. It's quite heavy!" (hur hur) and then he added, "I don't think i would've been able to do it."

Much thanks to Denise who messaged me at like 6-something in the morning (!!!) and to fellow runners who tuned in to ask how everything went. Much thanks to Gem too for being there with me through the event (especially since Y couldn't make it due to work demands) though you didn't hide behind a bush along the way to wait for me so we could run together!!! :-( (ok, KIDDING ONLY)
(note: men's 10 km began 30min before the women's 10 km)

As if running wasn't enough for the day, i spent the rest of the afternoon in a sound proof room packed full with musicians, jamming and worshipping God together. ;-) Dinner with the worship ministry people followed at orchard, and then a pathetic excuse for a window shopping trip with my sister after dinner, and then i finally called it a day when we took a straight bus back.

A very productive day, i must say. Thank you Lord for the people around me and the experiences that are to come. I can't divulge too much about these things at the moment on this space, but man, i can so see all these issues in the distance coming towards me. I know the events to come might have very confusing polarized effects on me, but either way, i know i'm going to learn something.

Toodles for now. Wish i could blog more. I've got photos to share but haven't been able to sit down long enough before having to run off to tie more loose ends. Church, friends, keyboard stuff, personal admin matters, work. Plenty of avenues to keep me busy. While i enjoy the busy-ness (busy-ness keeps depression away!), i really hope to tone down for a week to have some peace and quiet.