The boy cooked lunch for me! (backdated post from 11th Aug '07)

The raw pacific dory fish to be seared to perfection!











He bought me one of my favourite mushrooms.... Portabellos. Ooooohhh, yum. :-D








The Cook









The Cooking Cook










Fish and mushrooms are almost ready! Joline was salivating by then. Deliciously tasty, soft, juicy, boneless fish fillet. Oooh man!







Taken by the window for natural lighting. And yes, he bought me roses. :-D Cheesy grin and all. Teehee.










On the plate: fish, bread with olive oil, romane lettuce, mushrooms. On the side: Oreo choc with wafer, choc cake and grape juice (not wine). Absolutely scrumptious!






I am sooooooo fortunate. :-D

Hey people!

Man, it feels good a day after a run at MacRitchie Reservoir. Gem and i took a took slow run through Prunus and Petai Trail (two and maybe one quarter times = 6+ km) yesterday afternoon. A mix of trail through the jungle and then the boardwalk along the perimeter of the jungle which was uber shiok.

It was a good change from running along my usual park connectors. Smelling rich earthy fragrances, feeling sticky and sweaty in the humid jungle, feeling my shoes crunch and grip onto the pebbles and stones, being careful not to twist an ankle and hurt the knees, seeing monkeys and one little baby monkey, lizards, people feeding the fishes, going uphill and downhill, hearing the jungle sounds and feeling the cool breeze along the boardwalk portion of the route, gazing across the vast reservoir in the evening... Beautiful. =D

Much thanks to Gem for just being there with me and killing the boredom while running (he suggested strapping a DVD player to his back next time so that i can watch along the way), keeping to my pace and staying behind me, (which can be difficult for a guy, cos i run very slowly. teehee.) being our camel by carrying a waist pouch with Pocari Sweat in it, and tolerating my very unpredictable moods that varied with how irritated i was with my mp3 player headphones that kept dropping out from my ears, as well as whenever i was feeling the burn (when speed is too fast or when going upslope). *sheepish* He's a very good partner. :-D

I had a big reward after our run! He whipped out kinder bueno (LOVE!) while walking to the bus stop, and we got to eat the famous prawn noodles at Adam Road, the fruit juice special as well, and we got to try the Serene Centre Creme Brulee (at some French "restaurant". It wasn't really a restaurant, more like a kitchen. Yeah, a French Kitchen.). Rather pathetic in serving size though, this creme brulee, but in a way, i didn't care because i've been having a creme brulee craving for yonkity donks.

I can't wait for the new balance real run! Whoopee!

OHOH OH...

Who wants to go rock climbing?
And blading? (Alina has asked me for the 2nd time already!)
And night riding (bicycle) ? (i understand that parents may not like the idea of this one though)

AHHH!

***

For some reason, i dreamt that i was running through Marina Square, for the fun of it as well as looking for something... And then. As dreams are queer, another scene i had was that i was going to begin a sprint on the 100m stretch on a 400m track with a few friends. One of whom was Chen Qing, an old secondary mate who is a SUPER fast runner. If he had been talent scouted, he'd make good in a 4 x 100m sprint team for sure!

I don't understand why i keep having dreams of people whom i hardly associated with at the moment.

It's so hard to fight through challenges while knowing and accepting that at this tender age you do not yet have much knowledge or experience. There are expectations to be met and you feel as if there is no choice but to pressure yourself into producing something "out of your league", even though it sounds impossible.

But if i did something less than expected, though within my capability, would people be forgiving and understanding enough to see the realities?

***

I think, i *think*, i know for a fact that my heart lies in the social work/counselling arena. It is about one of the very few things that have been a constant beam of light in my life and that makes my heart and mind tick. I guess... this would be my passion and where i shall head towards after all the schooling is over.

So, have i FINALLY narrowed down my choices? To clinical psych or counselling psych? Looks like it. I'll take one final look at my range of choices and start on my applications. God, please lead me.

Thanks to KL for helping us take our post race smiles!








On the way to the benches to prep...
Issy: Hey, what's your number? (takes out number tag)
Jo: (takes tag out, flaps it open...)
Issy: EH!
Jo: EH!
Jo and Issy both stare at our number tags and burst into girly giggles. HAHA! Well, we did sign up for it together, at the same time after all. But still... Cool beans!


The run was really "energising"<-- i quote Yeanni, and i am UBER PROUD OF THEM FOR FINISHING THE RACE IN GOOD TIME AND GOOD SPIRIT! WELL DONE! The run was surprisingly easy! I think the main reason for this was that i started out real nice and comfortable, for around 2.5km. Which i did not realize, primed by body well for the 2km or so dash to the finish line. Ok, i'm going to need a pacer for my next run, a person to keep me running SLOWLY! I tend to start off too fast (which is relative to my subjective meaning of "fast". guys, i am NOT a fast runner hor) and end up feeling the burn too early than i would like.

(to Gem: i think that with the length of your stride, you'll be strolling beside me man... for all our trainings and during the 7km leg of the NB real run)

I think the trainings at the good ole park connector strengthened me mentally, while the sheares bridge run (which was a little punishing, running part of the way with two guys) was a physical kick in the butt to get me ready for the 5km. Running that 2 km park connector length is SO BORING, and as Issy puts it "it seems never ending". So when you get to run throughout town with the changing and not-too-familiar scenery, you get to really see the distance you've covered and how far you've actually ran.

Muah hahhaa, i am slowly psychoing the ntu cell girls into going for runs with me! *rubs palms with glee*

Shape Run's happening tomorrow morning....! Planning to reach the esplanade between 6:55 to 7am. This year, i'm going to have 2 friends with me so i won't be as lonely as i was last year! I remember thinking to myself how sadly-amusing it was to walk through citylink alone, while all the other girls around were waiting for friends, or were walking in groups or at least pairs.

Hopefully i'll have some pictures from the event. Yowza!

Mm, got to get ready my tag number and race attire.

The little toddler took one step too far, not negotiating the depth of the next step on the cement stairs. He toppled, head over heels over his little feet onto the ground, pampers and all, head just slightly grazing the next step after the one he walked off.

I advanced forward with a stricken look on my face, thinking in a frenzy: AH! AH! AH! Pick him off the ground!

But before i could even touch him, a lady who just finished her exercise with her husband at the nearby canal rushed forward to lift the child back unto his feet. I didn't stop to gawk so i went on my way, but not without observing for a moment and listening in wonder and awe...

The lady had propped the little boy back onto his wobby legs and with a firm voice full of strength, assurance, safety and loving authority, she placed her right palm against his tiny chest, looked at him straight in the eye and said, "You're ok. You are fine. You. Are. Ok.". And i saw his look of confusion, shock and pain slowly ease away from his face, and sure enough, he didn't burst out wailing.

The boy wasn't even her son but you could sense that there was such a respect for other people's young and a "dutiful" love for serving someone else. You've just got to love maternal instincts. Wow.

How Could You?

How Could You? by Jim Willis

A man in Grand Rapids, Michigan took out a full page ad in the paper to present the following essay to the people of our community. It really touched my heart and i hope it will touch yours too.

"When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh. You called me your child, and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend.

Whenever I was"bad," you'd shake your finger at me and ask "How could you?"-but then you'd relent, and roll me over for a bellyrub.My housebreaking took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed and listening to your confidences and secret dreams,and I believed that life could not be any more perfect.

We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice cream (I only got the cone because "ice cream is bad for dogs," you said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day.Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love.

She, now your wife, is not a "dog person"- still I welcomed her into our home, tried to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy.Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate. Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a "prisoner of love."

As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears, and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them and their touch-because your touch was now so infrequent-and I would have defended them with my life if need be. I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams, and together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway.

There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me.These past few years, you just answered "yes" and changed the subject. I had gone from being "your dog" to "just a dog," and you resented every expenditure on my behalf.Now, you have a new career opportunity in another city, and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You've made the right decision for your "family," but there was a time when I was your only family.

I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said "I know you will find a good home for her."They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog, even one with "papers." You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar as he screamed "No, Daddy! Please don't let them take my dog!" And I worried for him, and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life. You gave me a good-bye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline to meet and now I have one, too.

After you left, the two nice ladies said you probably knew about your upcoming move months ago and made no attempt to find me another good home.They shook their heads and asked "How could you?" They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago. At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you- that you had changed your mind-that this was all a bad dream ... or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me.When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of happy puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited.

I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day, and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room. A blissfully quiet room.She placed me on the table and rubbed my ears, and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of days. As is my nature, I was more concerned about her.The burden which she bears weighs heavily on her, and I know that, the same way I knew your every mood. She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek.

I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured "How could you?" Perhaps because she understood my dogspeak, she said "I'm so sorry." She hugged me, and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned, or have to fend for myself-a place of love and light so very different from this earthly place.

And with my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my "How could you?" was not directed at her. It was you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of. I will think of you and wait for you forever. May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty.

By Jim Willis 2001

A note from the author:If "How Could You?" brought tears to your eyes as you read it, as it did to mine as I wrote it, it is because it is the composite story of the millions of formerly owned pets who die each year in American and Canadian animal shelters.

Anyone is welcome to distribute the essay for a noncommercial purpose, as long as it is properly attributed with the copyright notice.

Please use it to help educate, on your websites, in newsletters, on animal shelter and vet office bulletin boards. Tell the public that the decision to add a pet to the family is an important one for life, that animals deserve our love and sensible care, that finding another appropriate home for your animal is your responsibility and any local humane society or animal welfare league can offer you good advice, and that all life is precious.

Please do your part to stop the killing, and encourage adoption.

***

Needless to say... i ran over to Jed, cried and told him i wouldn't ever do that to him. :-S

just to share a thought and opinion. mostly for the girls.

I used to be very affected by what i saw in magazines. Toned and slim women, with long limbs and glowing skin. No thanks to the 6 months subscription to Shape magazine. But after a while, i began to see that i can NEVER be like what i see in magazines because i am basically just not biologically born to have what they have! Simple as that. The best that i can do for myself, is to simply take care of my body, and just work it out to the best that it can be. And i've to accept that it will not be "perfect", still.

But you know what? Although i said that i've come to understand that i can only reach the best of what my natural body can offer, it does not mean that i must/will(all the time) attempt to do so.

Why? I am aware of the dangers of following trends and pleasing people. Because of my stand of what is truly important to me, I screen my motivations for wanting to have "the best that my body can be". Am i working my body so that i can meet the standards of what beauty is in society? Or am i working out to feel better about myself? Or am i doing it for my health? etc.

My point simply is this: Chase after what is truly beneficial. Don't chase after things that are temporal and superficial. And even if you do, somewhere, somehow, you will still need to find that peace within yourself, ABOUT yourself and your identity.
Do not hanker after impossibilities that will only leave you disappointed with yourself. Know reality and know where you stand.

Nobody said that i must follow and live up to what the world deems as attractive. I refuse to allow such standards to seep into my head to make me feel insecure.

Think about this:
In the past, fat women were considered erotic. Today, slim and less voluptuous women have taken over the stage. As you can see, the image and what constitutes beauty changes with time and social context.
So, what if one day, the fashion trend of being fat comes back again. Are you going to follow that trend? (think about your health)
Likewise, if the benchmark for skinny-is-beautiful skyrockets, shall we all become anorexic? (mind your health!)

My point is: Is it sensible to follow everything the world tells you to do?

If my values are not rooted in the world's, then the world cannot really hurt me too much with all its demands.

Which is why i do not purposefully or take it to heart that i MUST reach the best that i can. Because i know that in time, if i let superficiality sink into my mind and reason for my goals, i know that when the day comes when i can no longer upkeep what i desire or if i feel challenged by others around me, i will sink into pointless depression. Now, we don't want that, do we?

This can also apply to other areas in life. As long as a building is constructed on foundations of sand, it will crumble like a stack of cards the minute a storm comes.

So what/who/where is your firm foundation where you can ground all your beliefs, opinions, values and principles?

Grarrrff. No pictures from our sheares bridge run yesterday. Hey, i was out there with two strapping young men who'll think i'm a nut/crazy bimbo if i whipped out my camera to snap pictures. I didn't want to super pai seh myself in front of them, ok?

My conclusion from yesterday's 6km: I NEED MORE TRAINING. Not so much as to get a better timing, or to fulfil any expectations/requirements... But mostly to GET INTO SHAPE FIRST! The timing and all that can come later. I've been doing my weekly walks and little runs but no full fledged training, due to my schedule and other committments. But as a result of that, my knee started to hurt halfway and my right calf began to experience the beginnings of an ache that felt like it might've gone into a cramp if i exerted myself more. I don't really know what it was since it didn't get worse, but i slowed my pace and made sure i moved to the left of the road to anticipate the chance that i may have to stop. Despite being able to jog all the way, I've NEVER had such ailments during my runs before! This goes to show that i was ill prepared.

Running long distances is not my passion. I prefer sprinting, like for 100m, which is my pet distance. ;-> Running long distances is something i do out of necessity for my health, and for the challenge and because in general, i like sports. While there's an element of "for fun" in running, it's not really my idea of fun (fun would be something like archery, shooting...). I run, well, also because logistically it is simple and it doesn't require me to bug anyone.

In preparation for a potentially punishing ordeal, a.k.a new balance real run (read: real torture), i'm going to plan out a schedule where i'll train at East Coast: on road and on sand. I've got to. As for trail training, i guess Bukit Timah Hill will be it. There go my sundays and maybe some saturdays. Strangely, i think the part i'm already hating most as i write this isn't the training but the travelling hassle to my destinations. Teehee. Where're the teleportation stations?!

I don't know how i'm going to do this, but i can foresee that my self discipline is going to be stretched beyond the norm. Now, to plan my training.

Ok, i really don't know what i landed myself in.... but. I signed up for the new balance real run already. I think i'm runner number 5454 (wot a pretty number), so i think places are running (pun not intended) out really fast since the registration opened on wednesday.

Sian... I think i will be one of the few beginners going for it. Going to be really pai seh i think.

Anyone for the New Balance Real Run?

7km OR 12km on Road
1km on Trail
1km on Sand
1km on Runway

I'm keen. Ambrose is keen. Are you? We're thinking of doing the 10km one.

***

Island Shop:
- bracelet, U.P.: $19. Joline got it for $1.90 instead.
- slipper thing, U.P.: $69. She scored, picking it up for $13.
- tops (3 of them), U.P.: $79, $79, $23. Again she picked them all at $9, $23 and $6.90 respectively.

G2000 blu jacket, U.P.: $69. Snagged it at $29.

POST Great Singapore Sale, i lub'chiew. And ok, i'm a cheapo ***t. As my good friend Xiao calls me.

***

It's great to be confident enough about my looks to be able to walk around town without a single molecule of make-up on my face, with minimal accessories and in a tee, shorts and slippers.

Thank God for whatever i've been given even though i know that i'm nowhere near perfect. It's not that i don't have my insecurities. Oh please, i do. I've got thunder thighs and calves, stretch marks, tree trunk upper arms, small eyes, stubby fingers and such. I know that there is only a certain level (if you want to compare with the "ideal" image of beauty) that i can reach with what i've been born with. Those, i have to accept.

Yet, while i can still go to great lengths to doll myself up and "look good", i choose not to and i'm still perfectly at ease with how i look without all the effort. Oh, you can also add that i'm at ease, AND lazy. :-)

I'd rather not complicate matters too much (i do go for the occasional facial just to indulge) because i don't exactly fancy destroyed skin when i've aged. Too much make up and other chemicals will ruin your skin. Yes, i concede i'm vain in what way. But hey, i'm thinking long term!

But of course, who wouldn't want to be the envy of other girls, or snag a handsome hunk? I guess while being in a world like this, we all have fantasies at the back of our minds (ok, for some, they are at the front) but to me, "looking gorgeous" according to the world's standards is not important to me. I know where my value is found and values lie, and i know who i am important to. That is what matters to me most.

***

I just ate a really swell apple. A pretty light rosy pink, with a firm crunch when you bite into it with a sweet, fragrant flavour. Cold too. And from China. I thought to myself, "I'm sure they'll NEVER be able to artificially replicate an apple..." But then, they made fake eggs and sold them. Now i'm not too sure.

about dads: in heaven and earth

I'm baacckk. After a week of hiatus. I didn't quite have anything interesting to say, and for obvious reasons, i didn't think i could move on with a clear state of mind what with some issues bugging me. While i'm ok now, i know that my heart and mind need to heal slowly. But nothing too tragic that i cannot handle... With God of course. God has been revealing a lot of things to me about myself recently, good thing i wrote them all down. I strongly believe that as i clear the obstacles, i'll be able to better live out the "abundant life" that Christ really means for us to enjoy in Him. :-)

Ok, i've not been running as intensely and as often as i like these days despite having a run coming up this sunday. I'll be running with my brot.... er, i mean, sister, Ambrose! Time for a cliche: we'll be "running this race together" just as we will run the race of life as siblings in Christ.

Singapore Bay Run, here we come!

***

The other day, i had a bad bout of bloating because of this IBS thingy (that's "irritable bowel syndrome" for you) and i was so visibly upset that when my mom asked me what was wrong, i cried as i told her how frustrated i was since i thought i was getting much better already. And i was (still am) taking such expensive medicines.

And so it is within a family that news passes around as quickly as Jed eats food. Mom asked if i wanted someone to pray for me, and i said yes... So she told my dad about it and as i was lying on my bed, feeling bloated and all, dishevelled-after-shower-wet-hair, tear stained face plastered to and half hiding behind my thick bolster, my dad walked into my room to talk to me.

He said that sometimes, we get afflicted with problems in life. Not everyone can be in perfect health... And being a christian, we are not exempted from it either. It just teaches us to rely and trust in God. We can pray and ask for healing, and if God heals us, great!, but if he doesn't, praise and thank him anyway. Believing in God is not about the good times only, but also in the bad.

We don't stop praising or thanking him when we go through tough times (God is God, and he alone is worthy of praise, so it's not how we feel, what he does for us, or what we go through that is an indicator of how intensely we should be worshipping him).These are the very words that i tell myself and other people all the time. It's as if the test for me to believe in these very words is here. Dad spoke to me in a logical, kind of disciplining, yet very gentle way. I wonder what he thought about his daughter at that point in time as he looked at me in that rather pathetic looking predicament.

I could only nod my head slightly every time i agreed with him, sniff, blink my swollen eyes and utter "Mm." at intervals.

So after he spoke to me, we closed our eyes and he prayed for me. It was simple, sincere, love-and-wisdom filled. I felt like crying some more, not because of what was being said in his prayer, but because my daddy had placed his hand gently on my belly and that he was praying for me! My daddy was praying for me!

It's not that my dad would not do something like this for me if i had asked at other times. But it was just how he doesn't always show his love in such a tender and loving way, and how he is always the critical man he is during conversations and has always something to say for everything that i do. I was just touched that here i am, having some personal time with my dad (or dads? you know, the one in heaven) when i was feeling vulnerable and in need.

So yeah, i don't quite know how to end this post except to tell you that i am in tears now again just thinking about that experience and that there's nothing like knowing that there ARE people who care for and love you.

PS: The other night, over dinner, dad said: "Don't eat too much chilli ah, it'll give you gas." In my usual stubborness, i just nodded and smiled slightly (i like chilli ok!) and didn't really say "yes ok". But i took heed of his advice, and though i usually hear warnings as irritating nagging, in my heart i heard very loudly the "I love you" that my dad had just said to me.

It's weird and sad, that there was once a fierce intent to make things right as quickly as possible at all costs during a disagreement. But now, there is no such thing as eager pursuance anymore.

Is this what time does? Does it make people take things for granted, with much less passion and careful concern for the other.

It makes me sad, disappointed and disillusioned.

***

All of us are psychotic in some way. I'd be the first to admit that i am.

"Guys. Martians. Equate."

I was going through an old diary from 2002 when i saw this and laughed out loud. It's not exactly profound or anything, but it just reminded me about my past thoughts and how i would say the things that confirmed my then-hatred for men and how i would in saying such things help myself get over the poison inside. It was just one of the more light hearted things i indulged in, in my writings while trying to survive through junior college and a bad break-up.

***

I am SO pissed with my client and the whole working strategy. !@#$$@#%%$^^&%^$*

the boy

On my way to meet the birthday boy... I snapped this while walking across the road and didn't look at how i was going to compose it. Still, i think it turned out pretty arty farty. Teehee.









Just a snapshot of the grass by the bus stop. I liked how the the sunlight was caught and reflecting off the blades of green grass. Full of life and clarity.










A snapshot of a old block of buildings just next to the new La Selle SIA school building.











This was taken after our chosen movie, "The Simpsons"! at the cathay. 30 min of nonsense extended into a 1 hour plus movie lah. HAHA. But i don't regret watching it one bit. Now i've got the Spiderpig ring tone in my phone.





Ok, our classic-obligatory-must-publish-screwed-up-faces.










Best boyflen ever. :-)

Lately...

Other then expanding my adipose tissue this hols...

Gem and i went on a trip to Sentosa! (via cable chair and we also tried the skylift thingy that took us from the beach back up to the cablecar station, WOOT!)

To Sentosa... It's been years since my first cable car ride.









Lazing on the beach. :-D











Some fictitious dragon bones. Heh. Encountered on our way down to the beach.







Attempted to take a photo. I look odd cos the glare of the sunlight was hurting me eyes. *squint*







This male peacock was quite a headturner. :-) So pretty. The combination of feathers spells vibrant colours, textures and patterns all rolled into one!





***


Puppy visiting at Jun's place. Many a heads were bursting at the cuteness of 4 chihuahua pups, and one pretty mommy chihuahua. Featured here is the only female pup and her brother, Patch.





***
NTU cell goes to Pulau Ubin! This was taken while on a really bumpy boat ride. The sky was threatening, the sea was choppy and the wind was gusty... and NTU cell chose to sit OUTSIDE (muah haha). It felt like at any moment, one of us could've gone overboard. We were thrown from side to side, with cold and salty sea water spraying and splattering furiously all over our faces and bodies. It was hilarious! Every time we got hit, a series of shrieks and screams would entail. Thank God none of us got sick after that.





A rather rabid looking person. Wonder who it is.










Chek Jawa!












Jun's muddy shoes and my muddy feet










"NTU Cell was here", at Noordin Beach.












Gem and Mr Sea-Disgusting-Slug











Ta-ta Noordin Beach! And we left for mainland soon after. :-)










***
Were a lot more people photos, but as usual, i'm bounded by privacy rules. Had great fun! Back to my readings. *skips off*

Time to get into shape man, and i don't mean the round kind of shape. Because i've got 3 runs coming up:
Sheares Bridge 6km Run (26th August)
Shape 5km Run (9 September)
Standard Chartered Half Marathon (2 December)

Hooooooooo boooyyyy... *gulp*
Need to get better, PRONTO!

***

I read the latest Habitudes images that were sent to me, and i found myself nodding in agreement with every one of them. Timely and in season for me right now.

Speaking of things "in season", other than school that has just begun for me, i need to get down to sending out my applications to the Unis over yonder. A few years ago, my dad was adamant about me going overseas, because i wasn't street smart or mature enough. But today, it's an entirely different story. He asked me this two nights ago: "So, have you decided what to do (course) and where you want to go? You better start sending out your applications." The look on his face. I can't quite put my finger on it.

It's a clear green light that he's all for me leaving the country now to pursue my masters.

(rather interesting that one of my last two modules i'm taking this sem is called Acculturation Psychology. It's all about 'culture shock', the what and hows of it. Perfect for me, and i didn't realize how apt it is for me now, because i'm one scardy cat when it comes to travelling to a foreign land.)

The question about whether i'm REALLY going to go is another hurdle though. There are a few factors in my life that are being revealed to me right now that kind of make me wonder about what God intends for me after i graduate from UniSIM. I'll find out in time. As long as it get these applications going!

Wait. I haven't even decided what course i want to do yet.

this is for you guys!

Just so you know.
I have the BEST cell group and boyflen ever. It's not that they did anything complicated or monstrous. All they did, was visit me on saturday after service when it was Day 3 of being sick. Yes. That's all they did, but you cannot imagine the extent at which the blasting fireworks and the flying hearts were going off in my head and heart.

To this day, i cannot remember a time when anyone ever came to visit me just because i was sick. With a flu (it wasn't even dengue!). Even after i said that i would rather not pass my germs to them.

Dom and Gem apparently went shopping at a supermarket, buying GRAPES (haha, am tickled by how medieval it is, and the mental image of the 2 guys picking little dainty green and red grapes.) and Vitagen (for my digestion, thanks dear. :-D)

And what's more, Jun called and came over too! I tell you....... My heart sang! Saying Thank you is not enough to say how much i appreciated her being there with a sick old grouch.

They didn't have to be there with me... Especially since all of them should have gone back home early to sleep as our Ubin trip was happening the next day. But they chose to.

So this post is for you guys and gal. You truly blessed me last saturday, and i couldn't ask for anything more.

PS: I knew it was your suggestion, Mer. Thank you. :-) *hug!*

So. I DID go to Pulau Ubin despite awaking with a slight fever. I just decided that i would be ok later and i just stepped out of the house in faith, after two days of solid resting. What with all the tissue i brought in preparation for a drippy nose, i didn't use it for that but rather to wipe mud off my feet and sweat off my face. In other words, i felt a whole lot better at Ubin and even after Ubin.

Loads of photos to load and share! Got to kope from everyone first and compile into a folder.

In a nutshell. Super shiong cycling, through road, gravel and mud. Through sunshine and rain (flappy ponchos are very handy). Up and down little hills. Stopping to che(c)k out Chek Jawa and Noordin Beach. Saw lots of cuuuttteeee (big) dogs and puppies. Went home still feeling like i could cycle some more. (A lot of stored energy from all the sleep i'd been having)

My mom came along with us, the bunch of us young guns, but you would've thought my mom was a 16 year old, with all that bounding energy she had going on. Miss Jun was very tickled. ;-p

I'm really glad that i'm not as unfit as i thought. *grin* Speaking of which. This year, i'm going to go for it man. 21km at the Standard Chartered Run! (and if i survive this one reasonably well... and if i'm still around in Sg, maybe 42km next year)

Seeeeck.
Nose is like a hose, throat feels like there's a cactus in there. Feeling altogether lethargic but i am restless. Gah. And my Ubin trip's tomorrow! *roar!* I'm undecided about whether my body can take it tomorrow. Might have to bring one whole box of tissue to tide me through, as well as like, a few boxes of Strepsils that don't exactly work. They only offer temporary relief.

Am sorry for the lack of posts, but i'm more than happy to yak in the comment boxes. Been kinda busy with stuff at work. Writing has also been in short and curt sentences lately. Gargh.

Pounding the ground

I just had a lovely 4km run today. Lungs feel like it can handle my deep breaths a bit better, doesn't feel as heavy like a week ago. Body didn't tire as easily. I'm slowly getting back my fitness, but i've still a way to go... Judging by my 100m sprint that i do for fun after my runs. Usually the sprint speed will last the whole way but today i slowed before i hit the finishing 0 meter mark.

I got my mailer from Standard Chartered. To register at a discounted rate, I've got to register soon... So... if any of you girls want to run, we'll do the 10km together. If not, i'll be signing up for the 21km.

Please drop me message when/if you read this.

I have not lost my love for archery. I know it.

We've got an event coming up from the 24th to 28th of August at Velocity Novena. I guess i'll be shooting (mainly) as well as coaching if they need me to. Whee!!!! But first, to figure out my schedule. Hmm. YES!

My compound bow rises from the ashes!

Or, as my sister would say... "more like rises from the dust"

-.-"

I have such a supportive family.

Peekchures!

Gem looking very sleepy with his TGM acoustic guitar. The day mer, dom and him came over to jam to the wee hours of the morning. No pics of dom and mer in case they don't want to reveal themselves over the net.








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THE Bimbo Night at La's place. I don't think i have the liberty to post the girls' photos... so this will have to do. Alternatively, if you girls reading this don't mind being seen on the net, let me know.

















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Our illegal gathering for a special birthday girl at her void deck. Same rules apply. If you want to be seen/don't mind being seen on my blog, drop me a comment.






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The day Miss D and i met up, and boy... did we shop! Bought a lovely Mango jacket with her, thanks to her good taste. Us and our nonsense as usual.






More normal picture.








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Ultra Camwhoring at the National Youth Council building at Orchard (after a volunteer briefing)




















































I'm not ashamed to say that i censored some pictures because i've got tree trunks for arms. As you can already see in the second last photo. These are considered the more acceptable photos. Keehee.
***

About time to knock out. Boy, am i going to be busy these few weeks before school begins. I know i wasn't suppose to be busy in July. Bah. Night!

Foooood

The day my sis and i punk'd our dad

What we did, was we took one piece of bean, one piece of bacon, one piece of sausage, one fried sunny side up quail's egg and a couple of leaves of vegetables, and called it "dinner". We did this because our mom was away on a holiday and dad was at our mercy when it came to eating dinner. Teeheehee.

My sister and i waited with bated breath and severely stifled giggles in the kitchen, waiting for the moment my dad sees the food on his plate and reacts.
Ha, his reaction wasn't that big, but it was definitely worth the practical joke. He came down and stared at his plate for a few seconds with the silence of disbelief hanging in the air before declaring, "TAKE PICTURE! TAKE PICTURE!"

HAHAAHAHAHA. Ok, to further the joke, my sis and i brought out "our" plates:
In the end, we just laughed and laughed, took pictures and eventually took out the real food that we to eat for dinner.







***

Gem and I cooked dinner for my family!

These were the potatoes skins that i was raving about. Yummerlicious.







The bowl on the left contains our garlic mashed potatoes that were also yummy and finally, the disaster fish, on the right. Why disaster? Too boney to eat without worrying that you might skewer your gums and the fish had a naturally fishy taste of sorts.





***

More photos when i get home. I'm at work now, yes.

Jed the bandit

My thief of a miniature pinscher stole my burger that i was suppose to bring to work!

I don't know how he managed to get it. I closed my door the whole time i was prepping... So it probably means that the moment i turned my back at one point in time to do something else, he zoomed in for the kill which was lying serenely in my unzipped bag that was on my bed.

He walloped the whole burger except for a few crumbs and tiny bread chunks that i found scattered on my cardigan, plus a lettuce leaf that was found resting on my blanket. I was afraid he ate the cling wrap too, but he's smarter than i give him credit for. Apparently, he took the burger down to the dining table to eat, and left the ripped cling wrap under there.

He goes under the table because it's harder to catch him there. Imagine the chairs around the table that provide him some protection from bulky human bodies that can't move that quickly on knees and palms, and the stem of the table (does not have 4 legs) that gives him a place to hide and dart back and forth behind when we reach out to try to grab him.

Wa lao eh... Stupid dog...

While i was prepping, my mom knocked on my door and told me that Jed was behaving strangely. True enough, when i opened my door, he was walking around in circles, with his tail at half mast, wagging, and his head was lowered and he looked positively sheepish. He does this every time he knows he did something wrong. He behaves like that only until you extend your hand to grab and spank him. He switches immediately to defend mode, meaning he runs off, but if you catch him, he bares his teeth, snaps and bites at your hand while flipping over on his back in seeming submission.

The one good thing? My mom made me TWO burgers. He only managed to kope one! (but bad enough. :-< )

On the way to work, i sent my mom an sms... Thanking her for making me my 2 burgers and that it was a good thing she made two... She sent me another sms back saying: "Mom's wisdom from God.... but half the blessing went to Jed"

Strangely, i'm having one peaceful morning at work. Clients are turning up, coming in on time, no calls (hope phone does not ring right now) and no one has pissed anybody off yet. The only thing that's vaguely gloomy is the weather, with rain that is pummeling down on Singapore, spanning from the East to the West. Thank God that despite my late night yesterday, i'm yawning now and then... but i'm wide awake otherwise.

Apparently, one night of cooking for the family took quite a toll on me. I really understand but yet i still wonder how my mom copes almost everyday. Being more than twice my age, she works full time in a busy clinic, comes home to cook and do some housework that she thinks is necessary.

Heh, i'll upload the pictures of the food soon. Gem and i (hey, if you say that quickly, it sounds like "Gemini". How "appropriate".) cooked 3 dishes for my family on thursday. Including the other stuff in the fridge, plus the yogurt Gem bought, it was one huge meal.

We're really pleased with the resulting garlic mashed potato and i personally love the potato skins. Yes, I KNOW HOW TO MAKE POTATO SKINS! How AWESOME IS THAT?! And it turned out so yummy. Just the way i envisioned it to taste. And the mashed potato? Even Gem said that ours beat the mashed potato that he bought (it was a side dish that came with a steak) from a food place near his home.

Our fish however, was a disaster. Wrong choice of fish (NO MORE TOMANS! I just don't have the spending power to buy the more expensive fish, and the cheap and good dory fish was nowhere to be found) that was too bony and tasted naturally fishy. And a marinate that didn't sit well with everyone because... it was too salty. A trademark of mine.

I'm already thinking of making another batch of potato skins, since i've got extra sour cream and cheese and spring onions. Just need to get some potatos and bacon (or i could use up the ham in the fridge). And we're all set. Ok, it's weird to hear Jo ramble about cooking because she doesn't cook. She eats. But she realizes that as long as she's set on a recipe she thinks isn't too hard and she thinks she can do, and if she has some help *HINT* she is most happy to cook. Even Miss D thinks that the idea of cooking on Joline is so odd. Ha, she knows me well enough to know that. ;-P

The last time i posted a picture of a dish i made, some joker said it looked like a dinosaur egg. :-(
Hahaaahahaa.

Anyway, it feels good to have some alone time to space out. I've got no choice but to spend some quiet time alone. But i'm also bored, with no diary to scribble in and no lappie to do my project on. Ah well. I should just quit being busy. So now you have some rambly post to read because i'm so free.

Pics of food and Miss D and i coming up!

jo is stuffed with activities

This weekend will be nothing short of busy. For starters, i'm working tomorrow (9 to 3pm), church for prayer till 7:30pm. Sleepover at La's place. Buy a present on sunday morning, bum around till 5. Training and briefing for volunteer facilitators (me) for a workshop. Ends around 6:30pm. Sunday exercise. SLEEP.... Work the next day. Argh.

Packed. Packed. Packed. What am i doing up at this hour?! *reprimands self*

I had initially had a serious topic to talk about but never mind. I'd spend too much time editing it anyways. Good night. I hope i won't to be too tired tomorow.

PS: ok, that was a super boliao post. but yeah, needed to ramble anyway. bah.

Lao hong-ed Famous Amos cookies are nice. Kinda like chewy chocolate chip cookies that don't give you ulcers and sore spots in your mouth like the fresh cookies do. No nut chocolate chip ones are da bomb. Not that i've bothered to try anything else anyway. Teehee.

I have missed the movie run of Pirates, which is REALLY sad. Not even GV Yishun is showing it lor. Bleagh.

I don't think there are any other movies that i REALLY want to watch. But if you're talking about the recent big names that i don't mind catching, but not too important... they'd be "Transformers", " Ocean's 13", "Fantastic 4". Good thing i caught Spiderman 3 though.

Really sleepy, feeling crappy about stuff, want to snuggle up with Jed to sleep but his butt stinks. Yuck.

Blah. Ugh. Gah. Aiya. Meh. Sheesh. Murf. Poo. Beh. Mmf. Raaaarrrr.

Sounds from a cheesed off and very sleepy girl.

Music really changes how one sees things. I was sitting alone on a long wooden bench situated outside the Singapore Tourism Board that is positioned parallel to their glass walls and to the road in front of me. I watched the cars go by and the people who walked briskly on past. If i were staring ahead without my ipod, i'd pretty much just stone, or think about non important stuff, or anything random.

But with music pulsing through my ear drums, (depending on type of music of course. Jazz, Jim Brickman and Gospel music today) i'm seeing mundane life carrying on with a slight smile on my face and a glow in my heart. I feel like i've been transported to somewhere else, that i wasn't in hot and busy Singapore. Suddenly the sky looks bluer, the passing of cars more romantic, and people look lovelier.

Both a dangerous and fascinating quality.

Back from camp. Super Tired. Sadly, not many photos because somehow i think my Casio Exilim has gone kuku. I knew Casios weren't good... But got videos though, and i think they are pretty fun to watch. Tired. Going to sleep now. Had a great time. I miss camp already. Now when i wash dishes at home, i'm reminded of the very spot at the chalet kitchen where i washed dishes too. And when i shower at home, i'm thinking again of how it was like showering at the chalet's toilet. Ah... Campsick. :-( It was a sinking feeling to clean up the chalet before leaving. The huge rooms had no more people laughing, chatting and lazing around in them, complete emptiness with no more life, after the campers left. Campsick.

It's off to camp for me from sunday to wednesday. I sure hope that it'll be a "success", in that there'll be lorry loads of fun, generous helpings of laughter, superfluous jokes and an overflow of camaraderie, genuine friendships and fellowship. And of course, that the people participating will come away from the camp knowing that God has clearly deposited something into their lives as they embark or continue on their journey through varsity life.

Hope our games raawwkk mannn.... though i'm the veteran game master, it's always my partners i work with every time who truly make the games a lot more wild and haspenning (no spelling error) than i could ever make it to be. Thanks dewd. =D

Hopefully i'll be back with tons of nonsensical photos.

I must not be busy in July. I must not be doing much in July. I must date Gem in July. I must laze around in July. I must enjoy July before school begins. July is the month of my second last school holiday ever before the December hols. Please do not arrow me as much as possible in July, or i will bite you. Remember. July = Relax.

Have you ever felt God's love/touch so strongly that when it came on you, it shocked you and made you cry uncontrollably? It's not a bad kind of crying, but it comes because of an unexplainable filling of the spirit that just overwhelms you.

Last saturday, my band mates and i were praying in the room upstairs before service, and i just felt in my spirit that i had to kneel before the Lord in surrender. In just that period of worship and prayer, i have come to more clearly understand what it means to "focus on God", to "surrender", to "worship".

As i knelt behind the keyboard, i put aside everything in my mind and chose to not believe in the devil's lies about me being worthless and unloved. Instead, i chose to believe that i was a child of God, sinful, but still loved wholly, precious and thought about fondly by my Father. I chose to believe in that identity, that though i am not perfect, i can come to God knowing that i am accepted, and not condemned in his sight, that i have every right to come before God as a child would to her daddy.

Sitting still, i realized that i was actually opening my heart to God (an action i never quite understood... am still unclear but i am learning along the way), making it receptive to what he wants to deposit into my heart. I focused on the Lord, and very naturally worshipping him deep in my spirit. Sometimes words cannot express how much you want to say, that's why speaking in tongues is so important.

That's when i felt something unexplainable fill my heart and tears just spilled out. If i weren't with like, 15 other people in the room, i wouldn't have dammed up my tears. I felt like God was revealing his heart for me, to me. The intensity of it was strong enough to actually surprise me out of my worshipping and i sat there reflecting on what i just experienced... And also because i didn't want to flood the floor...

And so here i am, blogging this to remind myself of the milestones in my walk with God. I just love thinking back on the precious times when God reveals himself to me and in doing so, teaches me about how it is like to be with him. In future, what i know can also be used to plant something into someone else. I've had the privilege of being able to do this and it really edifies me to know that someone else benefits. :-)

Wielding the "Sword" (aka, The Bible), are my NTU cell mates. Red was not the color code for the day. Aren't they cute? Teehee.







Jed and his tangle of legs.











My NTU cell girlies hanging around (literally) at West Coast Park. I say, Let's do it again! :-DD







Coaching archery at the police carnival. I like teaching, except that it made my throat sore for about two days.










My free Body Shop gifts. *beam*








Animals. Don't. Read. (notice how low the sign is placed?)

Hey people. I'm still alive... Well, kinda. Had a bad headache when i left the house for work today that pretty much left me closing my eyes, with my face buried in my folded arms, not wishing to look at the computer screen and envisioning myself throwing up into a sink.... Ok, too much information. But that was so not fun. So much so that the boss was kind enough to ask a colleague to cover for me for the rest of the day.

Of late, my body has been rebelling, and some of the things i'm experiencing makes me wonder whether i unknowingly have some illness but i'm just oblivious to it since i haven't gone for any checkups.

Personally, i'm not worried about coming down with cancer, or whether i've got some other sinister disease. The only thing i dread about having a disease is the suffering bit, because my pain threshold isn't quite skyhigh. I somehow think that the people around me would worry more than i would. Basically, i just know that when i die, i'll be with God and that would be perfect bliss. I do not worry about my end destination because i know that i am already secure because of what my Jesus has done for me.

If i ever found out that i am dying, my first few concerns would be... Now, how am i going to spend the rest of my days on Earth? How can i make my life count? Finances... My family... Pain... Yeah. But i'm not worried about what happens when my heart beats its last beat.

***

Just handed in first draft of company's project. Whew! TO GEM: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! I've got something for you, so ask me for it on sunday ok? ;-)

I just treated myself to two bottles of perfume oil from The Body Shop (in addition to getting my usual Vit C fix). Ok, i rarely do this but i was so enthralled by the scents of the 2 new special editions. Mmmm... Gorgeous. *sniffs self* When i thought that i had already treated myself enough with products, i was blessed with more stuff... Because apparently when you spend 60bucks, you get a few free gifts all nicely packed in a paper box-bag thing (girls, you want? ;-D)

(1) Vit E moisture cream
(2) Vit E cream cleanser
(3) Grapeseed Showergel (i love the smell of this one!)
(4) Lip Gloss (in my favourite colour in the range!)
(5) Camomile make-up remover

So much stuff! Yeay!

***

Got to go sleep now. No more headaches for me. No way.

The first draft of the document is due this thursday. What i've done so far is to come up with the outline, excluding all the content text. I've yet to design a cover page, but the coolest thing happened this morning. While i was half asleep in the wee hours, i suddenly thought of a title that actually made sense and wasn't all that cheesy! It's short, sweet, and says exactly what the booklet is about.

You know how things in your dreams always SEEM like they make sense, but they don't really, when you awake. But in my subconsciousness, i told myself to check the meanings of the words over and over again, and found that it made complete sense. I don't think i can reveal what it is over here though since it's a company thing and it hasn't been printed yet.

I miss blogging man.

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Updated:

Oh, to add on to the topic of interesting people at the library... This time, the people i encountered were so nice.!
(1) the man who moved one seat down because he saw all my stuff that i was carrying. When i glanced up at him, he told me he was giving me space to put all of it down. Sweet!
(2) this guy who was sitting opposite me heard my sniffling and sighing that was going on for a couple of hours. He first offered to buy me sweets for my sniffling and the told me where to get snacks and hot drinks in the library. Before i left, i bid him goodbye, and in return he said: "Remember. Don't drink cold drinks and drink milo before you sleep." Aww!

"Coach" Joline to hit the Police Academy again this sunday!
(seems like the archery booth is lucrative...?)

I had better shoot some practice shots first to reinforce my basic archery knowledge before i teach someone man... *pai seh*

joline in the lee kong chian reference library...

Whoever said the library was a boring place... Let me see. I've just had the honour was sitting within the vicinity of: (1) a (rather weird) guy very into his small stack of lingerie books (NOT KIDDING) (2) a belchy old man (3) a lady who suddenly broke out into tears and sobs while reading a book.

Ok, back to projSPSandSCDF. (and scanning for more 'interesting' people)