Golly! I stayed in this miniscule container for weeks (ok but still within the confines of a sphere too) and the first thing i was expected to do when mommy removed the cover was to pose for the lenses. She trusted that i wouldn't scat so i obliged her. But I'm so HUNGREEEEE! Mommy came home only after i emerged and i've only had oxygen to digest. Sad. :-( But now i'm going to see the big fat world!

I'm sooooooooo gorgeous. I love my big eyes, so perfectly formed. I love myself.

Mommy brought me downstairs to the base of the stairwell to set me free. She took off the container cover and stared hard at me through those strange lenses again and again. I was getting nervous from the weird lighting and a feeling of some impending life changing moment. I scuttled as fast as i could into a nook in the soft tissue bedding, curled into a tight ball and hid there.
Apart from the experience of being squashed in an egg, i've never felt so small... I was so afraid, that i thought maybe if i mimicked that in-egg-squished position, i might regain that feeling of security. My pretty tail was getting in the way though. *mmmfffff*
Mommy sure wasn't placing the cover back and she even began to tug the whole tissue lump out! MOOMMEEEE!!! I kept my newly discovered strong lizardy grip onto the tissue despite her incessent gentle shakes. When i didn't budge, she decided to place tissue, me and all back into the container to let me be.
I guess i knew it in my skinny baby bones that the whole atmosphere had changed... I felt freedom beckoning, i smelt freedom, and i responded in kind. In one fluid movement, i zipped to the corner of the container to poke my head above the rim, paused for a split second to say "bye Mommy!" and i scurried off.
Hello strange world.

*** ***

This is the human talking now.

The next morning, i made a grisly find that was stuck on one of the cloths that draps over our freezer in our home: a dead baby lizard, or rather, a wizard (*was* a lizard, so, w-izard).

All, but a head and spine, was stripped off by some unknown cause. I hope it wasn't you, Barney. I don't know what caused it but i do know that Jed can maul you lizards easy as pie when he can get his predator paws on the likes of things he considers vermins. I set you free for other reasons apart from so that you'll not eat our food in the kitchen and shit everywhere as you please. You know that right?

Assuming it wasn't you, please don't come back.