Heavy Heart

Alwyn:
Thanks. :-) Everything about the videoing and observing the best, is right. And i agree with you. From the archery articles i've read, this is what is recommended as well.
Rachel Sng, the top compound woman shooter (or does it include men as well?) told me the same thing.
Look for someone with good formwork. Watch... and learn/copy.
And yes, visualization is a BIGGY in archery.
I know that the team does it, and a friend told me that they do "pseudo shooting" at night, at 30m. He says he watch until sian. *grim smile*
90% mental and 10% physical... I'd give physical a little bit more credit.
There is a fair amount of physical involved, because you need the strength to pull the bowstring and maintain, preferably a full draw, and adopt a good anchor point.
Otherwise, form will be inconsistent and the results will show.
Stamina as well, if we're looking at a competitive level.
And amount of poundage. Pretty important when going for distance.
"transposition of what our mind thinks into our hands?" This is true.
Hm, the very truth of the mental bit never fails to amaze me, even though it is clear.
The resultant arrows on the target truly reflect the mental state of an individual at that point.
Really appreciate your dropping by, by the way.

*** ***

Bogged down.
Confused.
Angry.(at myself)
Hurt.(in a different way)
Lost.

I feel, to some degree, the same way 2 years ago.

Don't know what to put my trust in.
Don't know how to get over it.

I know i will, someday.
But meanwhile, am suffering the after effects.

(And then i wonder:
Ok, so i am feeling like the biggest pile of elephant poop and he is probably feeling like the biggest, happiest, most liberated man alive.)


Shit happens.
Just my good fortune to have it happen now.

Ah, once again, i am reminded to cling on to God, my solace.

My mind, being tormented as it resides a few lightyears away.
My thoughts, going around in circles.

I need a distraction.
But it has to be something substantial.
Getting a temporary distraction is not going to be of help.
Because in the end...
When i open my closet door, the bones will come crashing down on me in a hideous pile.
Suffocating.

Troubled mind does no good for an archer.

Then again, i have to look at it this way.
Life isn't always going to be rosy and pink and sweet.
So, deal with it and get stronger.

An archer bogged with problems but who's able to deal with it and partition them away while continuing strong, is better than an archer who's never had to deal with any adversity.

Because one day, if something rotten happens, Happy Archer is going to crash and burn.

It took me 1 year and some to get over it in the past.

Time to kick my own butt and realize that one has to come out stronger from adversity, rather than mope about and feel depressed.

Ok, so i am really depressed.

In my almost 20 years, i have never had that many things to get depressed over.
So, this is new ground to conquer.
Absurd as it is.

My defense system is something like a piece of a mushy, watery, no-use, maggot-chewed decomposing zebra.
Time to toss it out.

Time to build a new one.
Time to build one, that is as tough as i can make it.
It won't be 100% steel, but as i've said, as tough as i can make it and to get me out alive.

Then again.

Do i really need it?

Mind-a-jumbled.

Not thinking as straight as i want to.

Argh.
Strike a balance between depending on God and Self?
No.

All on God.

But.

Crud. I am messed up.

I need someone to take a look inside my uppermost cavity.
And... prescribe me something.

Till Then.
*I need more participants for my experiment, preferably people who drive*