Wednesday, December 10, 2003

Hormonal?

Am waiting for my mom to call as i know she'll prolly need my help to carry groceries.

For some strange reason, i'm feeling so low.
Low, low, low, low, low, low, low.

Righty-oh. Forna goh, Bhishy boh, grovel foh.
-donk-

Yesterday was: the FIRST ANNIVERSARY OF THE ACJC BATCH OF 2002'S PROM NIGHT.

So, my pals from class SC10 came over to spend the night to celebrate.
The 9th of December.
It's our officially set date for our Annual Sleep Over.

We had such a nice time yakking and bonding. But suprisingly, we didn't yak too far into the night.
The strange thing was that there wasn't really much to say.

Sure, two friends, (dot, dot, dot...) ever since the advent of university life, have been having more colourful and eventful existences.
WE all know why.

I guess the majority didn't have very much going on, hence the lack of juicy tit bits.

So we snoozed till about 10am and went to C. for brunch. Following which, we went to shop at jp.
I didn't know OP had such nice clothes.
Guess i've been avoiding OP because SO many people wear it and i hate looking like a mass manufactured copy.

However, thanks (OR no thanks, too) to my bigger-than-most-girls'-build, i look different even with the same clothes.
But still.

"This Fashion" has FINALLY realised that not every girl is anorexic.

The weather was SUCH a dampener. -tsk-tsk-
Gloomy, Bloomy, Floomy. Gah.

It be strange.

I had a great time with my pals, but SOMEHOW. I feel oddly sad. Melancholic. It's so hard to describe.

I HATE IT WHEN I CAN'T PUT HOW I FEEL INTO WORDS!
THEN HOW ELSE CAN I COMMUNICATE???

I NEED THAT INVENTION.


Let me try to list the cocktail:
- a sense of loss.
- something tells me some piece is missing.
- odd. Just ODD.
- Lonely.
- Messy mind with a whole barrage of emotions.
- Something seems unresolved.
- The knowledge that serious things are happening.
- Unbalanced.
- Dread.

Maybe i'm just getting hormonal which amplifies all the SAD SAD things.
Maybe it's the impending year end.
Maybe it's the approaching Christmas Day, that has been so commercialized, it's VULGAR.
Maybe it's the weather.
Maybe it's the returning of normality which i fear.
Maybe i'm lonely and wish i had someone to share my life with.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To WEizhen:
THANKS A MILL! Yesh. Happy Hols. Woo hoo...

To Germz:
Yep, i am GLAD that hard work paid off.
But God is gracious...
HAPPY HOLS WOR.....................................
I haven't seen u in such a long time. I've met Betty and the library gang already.
WHERE'RE YOU???
Gone huh?

To Liting:
yoyo woman!!!!!!!!!!! HA! the sleepover was GREAT sister! Moments spent together really made me appreciate every second of it. And seeing each one of us leave was kind of sad. But of course it had to happen anyway.
Oh, thanks for bringing me to the $1 shop. Worh.................. A place i'll never forget.

To Alwyn:
Thanks a lot! *big grin* I hope i will do better when i move over to SIM.
Yay.
I *HOPE* that the SPF will STILL be wanting Senior Police Officers by the time i graduate. Keeping in mind that i am aiming and psyching myself for a Masters degree, i have a loooong journey ahead.
Wanna go as far as possible. Whee hoo.
As for Coast Guard. Ooo hoo hoo.
A lot of mixed feelings about that.
I'm ok to some extent about the sea sickness thingy. But i know that it's no use feeling sick 35-40% of the time when i'm suppose to be operationally ready for action. I know you managed to get over it, and gosh, wish i could do that. :-)
But yeah, i would prefer something more community (literally) based so doing things on mainland would be better.
But as you've said, just join for 2 or 3 years to get dough for my own Psych clinic.
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps...
Then again, i gave a little thought about being a psychologist and it striked me as something awful scary. (i can be a coward really)
Analysis of a human being's state of mind is such a fragile process. And the human mind, though in its human inadequacy, is still amazing in its own right.
Argh... i wouldn't want to make a mistake and get horribly screwed and sued.
Giving a diagnosis, probing the mind's recesses, and the assortment of other things, carries a lot of responsibility.
It is scary. Aaagh.

To Huimin:
THANKS SO MUCH GAL!!! And CONGRATS to you TOO. You dunnit!
WEll, i think that i would have had to score pretty high on my first assignment if i were to get a Dist. I Looking at it, i think i got a credit for my exam so it kinda evened things out. So to get a overall Dist, i would've had to score but anyway... it's all over and i'm glad it payed off. Not forgetting, thanks to God.
Who sustained me.

Wanted to continue with Scribbles' Wait is Over - Part 3, but i need to go... So, ta ta!

Till then.
*hug and a smile!*

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