Given the way the world is today, with the more "liberal"/"personal choice" or "less morally stringent" (whichever way you see it) standards towards premarital sex
AND
let's say if you were a firm believer of abstinence and you walk the talk...
Question:
What would you do if you found out that your partner had one or more sexual partners before s/he came into your life?
(assuming that you didn't ask her/him this question before getting together with her/him.)
Would like to know how you people feel about this. :-)
(Hah! i am bigheadedly nicely assuming that people actually read this stuff)
*** ***
A friend used to be in such a situation and while trying to help then, i have to confess that i was an idealistic toot-head during then.
I soon realized that it's easy to say that"love can overcome". But that's forgetting a lot of other factors and events that occur before the overcoming stage, IF it even overcomes at all.
Some people put moral standards and expectations way beyond just love itself.
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Hm. Nothing much to yak about so i'll just leave you guys with some REALLY random photos... Some taken recently, some taken a long time ago. I must say that they are generally... nothing to gawk at.
Heh heh.
All except for JED... but even then, the crude editing made the photos so urgly.
*** ***
Outside the living room window.
This was all the sunset i could catch but I'm sure it was a real pretty sunset judging from how the light fell on the clouds.
Why do dogs look sooo cute whenever they rest their heads like this? This is way cuter than when he is lying on his side.
(see second photo also)
Had to adjust the lighting or else his black coloured face wouldn't be seen. But i think my editing kind of destroyed the actuality of it. Oh well. It looked fine in the digital camera!
Cheat my feelings one. *mumble*
(ditto the above)
Too yellowish and blurry. Yurk. :-(
But cute dog makes me happy. *swooon*
Taken during a birthday function at some club in Jurong.
Thought the lighting was rather romantic and wanted a closeup, but oh well.
Taken at the "Oasis", at Kallang i think... While awaiting dinner at the "No Signboard Seafood" restaurant. They win hands down for a chinese restaurant with the funkiest name.
A sad attempt at taking a nature shot at Gran's place. Boredom during the 1st day of CNY makes one overly ambitious.
*** ***
Quite a yawn huh? *grin*
Ok lah, got so much work to do.
Oh and... girls! PSST! There're SO MANY WONDERFUL SALES GOING ON! (eg. U2, Dorothy Perkins, Fox, and a whole lot more...)
(i couldn't resist tearing a bleeding, gory hole in my pocket today.)
In the past, i rarely shop, which explains my total lack of variety in choice of clothing. Right church mates?
But recently, (sigh!) the shopping bug has bitten so nasty-ly that i find myself going severely swirly eyed at the sight of signs declaring "Discounts up to x%" and nice clothes on mannequins in the window.
I'm a racerback tank top and jeans kind of girl, and mostly in boring solid colours... Though a little more colour has just entered the wardrobe!
Not much, but i suspect that my little collection will expand... Probably during the hols. Will have more time and i am thinking of getting part time work. *rubs hands in glee*
Only problem with me is that i need to get myself to be more daring with different cuts and colours.
When the shoulder portion of a top fits my broad shoulders (and my rugby player arms, or so i've been told that i possess. Heh heh heh.), it's too loose at the waist. But when a top fits at the waist, it doesn't fit my shoulders.
So you see, it's no easy task to buy clothes hence also the lack of shopping sprees before. But i manage. :-)
I realize that in the shopping scene, it's a women's paradise! There're gazillions of stuff to try and experiment with and look original/good in. It all depends on whether you dare to try it and dare to carry it off with confidence.
But I is a bad girl today. No more shopping in a long while. (but only after i get a bag and shoes!)
Enough of the prattle! Back to the psych books i go.
Heh heh.
All except for JED... but even then, the crude editing made the photos so urgly.
*** ***
Outside the living room window.
This was all the sunset i could catch but I'm sure it was a real pretty sunset judging from how the light fell on the clouds.
Why do dogs look sooo cute whenever they rest their heads like this? This is way cuter than when he is lying on his side.
(see second photo also)
Had to adjust the lighting or else his black coloured face wouldn't be seen. But i think my editing kind of destroyed the actuality of it. Oh well. It looked fine in the digital camera!
Cheat my feelings one. *mumble*
(ditto the above)
Too yellowish and blurry. Yurk. :-(
But cute dog makes me happy. *swooon*
Taken during a birthday function at some club in Jurong.
Thought the lighting was rather romantic and wanted a closeup, but oh well.
Taken at the "Oasis", at Kallang i think... While awaiting dinner at the "No Signboard Seafood" restaurant. They win hands down for a chinese restaurant with the funkiest name.
A sad attempt at taking a nature shot at Gran's place. Boredom during the 1st day of CNY makes one overly ambitious.*** ***
Quite a yawn huh? *grin*
Ok lah, got so much work to do.
Oh and... girls! PSST! There're SO MANY WONDERFUL SALES GOING ON! (eg. U2, Dorothy Perkins, Fox, and a whole lot more...)
(i couldn't resist tearing a bleeding, gory hole in my pocket today.)
In the past, i rarely shop, which explains my total lack of variety in choice of clothing. Right church mates?
But recently, (sigh!) the shopping bug has bitten so nasty-ly that i find myself going severely swirly eyed at the sight of signs declaring "Discounts up to x%" and nice clothes on mannequins in the window.
I'm a racerback tank top and jeans kind of girl, and mostly in boring solid colours... Though a little more colour has just entered the wardrobe!
Not much, but i suspect that my little collection will expand... Probably during the hols. Will have more time and i am thinking of getting part time work. *rubs hands in glee*
Only problem with me is that i need to get myself to be more daring with different cuts and colours.
When the shoulder portion of a top fits my broad shoulders (and my rugby player arms, or so i've been told that i possess. Heh heh heh.), it's too loose at the waist. But when a top fits at the waist, it doesn't fit my shoulders.
So you see, it's no easy task to buy clothes hence also the lack of shopping sprees before. But i manage. :-)
I realize that in the shopping scene, it's a women's paradise! There're gazillions of stuff to try and experiment with and look original/good in. It all depends on whether you dare to try it and dare to carry it off with confidence.
But I is a bad girl today. No more shopping in a long while. (but only after i get a bag and shoes!)
Enough of the prattle! Back to the psych books i go.
Monday, July 25, 2005
continuation 2
Cute right? hur hur... :-D
I want to koochee them little faces!
*** ***
Upcoming assignment deadlines, upcoming examinations, ongoing revisions, other things to keep me sane...
Everything is piling and piling up. And having a lazy attitude to face all these things is far from a good asset to have.
I will come out of this eventually, i know. From now till then, i shall trudge on, taking one day at a time, doing what i must. And relying not on myself, for...
I never walk alone!
Ah, the continuation of that great message a few weeks ago.
Fifth: The very walk itself.
Coming to Jesus for the sake of getting, i quote, a "Fire Insurance" (A Pass you get to save you from the gates of Hell) is not what Christianity is truly all about.
Yes, initially, we reach out to pre-believers because we desire that they be saved from the consequences of sin, which is eternal Death, in a place without God.
It is our calling, that we reach out in Christ's love to those around us because we desire that they may also rejoice with us in Heaven with our Creator.
But once someone has accepted Christ, it goes further than that. It's no longer about being saved from the fire. It's time to walk the talk.
This is where spiritual growth and maturity takes place. As we walk closely with the Lord, we see the deeper side to God, we DESIRE to follow His ways because we love Him for who He is to us.
There is no need to feel guilt because, God loved us so much that he willingly became as a Man to die in our place. He did that with love for you and I.
We don't "deserve this love", so to speak, because of how sinful we are and how holy God is, but that is immaterial in God's eyes.
His love is free, He IS love. It's whether or not we want to accept this truth.
With maturity, you begin to trust God in whatever circumstances you encounter. It's NO longer seeing God as... the God for the Good Things in Life only.
It is through the tough and good times in the walk, when we truly GROW and become REFINED.
This is where one can separate the goats from the sheep. The fair weather Christians/the ones in it only for the "works of His hand", from the ones who stick on till Kingdom come.
Of course, in terrible trials, even the mature can stumble and fall, backslide and stagnate. We are still human, weak and vulnerable in the flesh and susceptible in spirit.
But our God, is a loving and forgiving God. No matter how horrible we've been, no matter how much we might've slandered God in our rage and sufferings...
The Lord sees us through our sufferings and He will and does not turn away from us. In fact, He would be waiting with abundant forgiveness when you return with a humbled and contrite heart!
He is Faithful, even when we are Unfaithful. Right Alwyn? :-)
*** ***
2 weekends in school, 2 experiments to design, plan and run, 2 presentations. And for all these, i am SO THANKFUL that I was given a fantastic team to work with. Complementing each other in our strengths and weaknesses and everything else that made great team work!
You guys made life during weekend school bearable through all the brainstorming and brain storms, tutor issues, fatigue, and oh so many other things! And we came out of it doing well too... Yay! Well done everyone.
And 2 weekends have also made me realize that i have fallen in the love with the food there. I can see myself returning there to have lunch (heh heh.) even after i graduate. Oh... if you love creamy pasta, the carbonara is for you. Oh, Heavenly!
OH! To work, i must, i must.
I shall look to Him like a child would and take His hand as we walk together.
Friday, July 22, 2005
1. After chewing on this, i find it weird that people, by just doing their jobs which happen to involve being on screen (media), has made them into scream-worthy, drool-worthy, (censored)-worthy, worship-worthy gods/goddesses.
2. Abhorrent ******* marks! :-(
3. When did Skinny become beautiful? Why must Skinny be beautiful in the eyes of society? There was an era when being fleshy (curvy at the backside, frontside and tummy... Well, voluptuous all over.) was beautiful.
And that wasn't just in China.
So that designers didn't have to waste too much fabric on the model?
So that heels can take the weight? (Then go design kinds for bigger women lah! I'm sure you guys have enough creativity up there.)
Why is flab considered "ugly"?
(but of course, staying healthy is one issue. But let us not assume that being skinny is healthy either. That could actually be further from the truth.)
Shame on you, insensitive and cruel society for making people feel insecure about their "supposedly less perfect" bodies AND
For instigating certain shallow people to discriminate against them!
(If you are not of the fleshier type, good for you, and be thankful that you were born in this era where most people would like not to be associated with being fat. )
2. Abhorrent ******* marks! :-(
3. When did Skinny become beautiful? Why must Skinny be beautiful in the eyes of society? There was an era when being fleshy (curvy at the backside, frontside and tummy... Well, voluptuous all over.) was beautiful.
And that wasn't just in China.
So that designers didn't have to waste too much fabric on the model?
So that heels can take the weight? (Then go design kinds for bigger women lah! I'm sure you guys have enough creativity up there.)
Why is flab considered "ugly"?
(but of course, staying healthy is one issue. But let us not assume that being skinny is healthy either. That could actually be further from the truth.)
Shame on you, insensitive and cruel society for making people feel insecure about their "supposedly less perfect" bodies AND
For instigating certain shallow people to discriminate against them!
(If you are not of the fleshier type, good for you, and be thankful that you were born in this era where most people would like not to be associated with being fat. )
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
This little testimony is a humble one, but it has (re)taught me some marvellous lessons. They are lessons that i have heard all along in theory, but yesterday, it become a practical test, from which i have learnt richly.
Thank you Father, for teaching me big lessons by starting with the small and humble things.
*** ***
Yesterday, my sister was afflicted with food poisoning because of something she had on sunday. She was feeling pukey and yeah, had to visit the toilet often.
She slept a lot during the day but when she was up, she still going through the discomfort and still felt queasy. If she ate any more than she could take (which was really very little to begin with) she would throw up.
Last night, after soaking in the mystery as depicted in "Incredible Tales" (heehee) at about 10:30pm (was it?), my mom asked me to check on the sister to make sure she was all right.
I did, and found her to be sound asleep, well at least i thought so.
When i returned to my room and sat down at my study table, a sudden thought, like a small realization came:
"Pray for her."
(And an image of laying my hands on her and praying came to my mind.)
Immediately, my "other" mind recoiled, and thought: ARGH! But, that's so weird and scary!
But i decided there and then, that prayer is something that, as a Christian, i should exercise and when there is cause to pray, be obedient and PRAY! And indeed, in me, i felt that i should not toss what i had "heard" away but respond in obedience.
And believe me, prayer moves things. It does something, small or big, in the spiritual realm although you can't tangibly see it.
Now, i have NEVER gone to pray VOLUNTARILY for anyone. The only times when i have prayed for people is during alloted times that are MEANT to be spent praying for one another or another person. When we have no option not to.
(This is where i have heard so much about going forth to pray, but have never done in practical)
So, having to physically transport myself to the person in question with the motive to pray is like... Moving in faith and fear at the same time, even when the person was sound asleep during then.
A strange feeling rose up in me as i walked over to her room. It was a mix of human apprehension and fear but then, i also felt a sense of empowerment and also a sense that what i was doing, was right.
I knelt at the foot of her bed, hopefully where she wouldn't see me if she awoke at all. I was also afraid that dad or mom would walk by and ask me what i was doing in the dark. Oh yeah, i didn't mention too that praying for someone can be embarrassing!
Did you know that? Praying for someone (without planning to) feels precisely like stepping out from your own comfort zone and bearing yourself openly.
(picture going up to a sick stranger and ask if they would allow you to pray for them)
Hahah, before i could get the first few words out, she tossed in bed quite vigorously and i thought: ARGH! She's gonna see me!
*Jo scuttles out back into her own room*
Oh well. I thought, never mind... I'll just pray for her where i am and so i did.
*** ***
Hey Jie, how're you this morning?
"Oh, better... and hungry."
*Jo smiles inwardly*
So, did you have to get up to go to the toilet last night?
"No, in fact, i slept like a log... I slept throughout even though i spent the day itself sleeping." (even she herself sounded surprised at this)
*Jo smiles inwardly again*
God sure answered my prayer word for word!
Lessons Learnt:
- When you think you hear something, check to see if it is biblical. Whether it is in line with God's character and deed.
- And if it is, RESPOND in HUMBLE OBEDIENCE! If God meant for you to do something for Him, it might well be that He wants to do something through you so that you can see the work of His hand and share it with others to bless them! :-)
- If God had spoken and you obey, He will honour you. This translates to other areas in life. It's about "dying to yourself". It's about giving up of the things that mean something to you, or giving up the fears, feelings of embarrassment, pride, etc.
It is truly about desiring, loving and trusting in God and the purposes of God so much, that nothing that stems from yourself stands in the way of His will.
- Prayer may be scary, a bold step forward and embarrassing to ourselves. After praying, you may not always see something dramatic happening before your very eyes. But take heart, because prayer moves things, sometimes in ways you cannot see and sometimes, in ways that you can see. From a song we've sung:
"Step by step we're moving forward,
Little by little taking ground,
Every prayer a powerful weapon,
Strongholds come,
Tumbling down and down,
And down, and down, and down..."
So it's time that we find it in ourselves to overcome this barrier to extend our hands out in love to those who are in need. All this, so that we may share of His goodness and to see in them the same joy that we have come to know.
*** ***
Uncle GH's workshop on "Walking in the Supernatural" in church had indeed put some seeds of prior knowledge now as i reflect on this.
Till Then.
*Exam mugging has begun!*
Thank you Father, for teaching me big lessons by starting with the small and humble things.
*** ***
Yesterday, my sister was afflicted with food poisoning because of something she had on sunday. She was feeling pukey and yeah, had to visit the toilet often.
She slept a lot during the day but when she was up, she still going through the discomfort and still felt queasy. If she ate any more than she could take (which was really very little to begin with) she would throw up.
Last night, after soaking in the mystery as depicted in "Incredible Tales" (heehee) at about 10:30pm (was it?), my mom asked me to check on the sister to make sure she was all right.
I did, and found her to be sound asleep, well at least i thought so.
When i returned to my room and sat down at my study table, a sudden thought, like a small realization came:
"Pray for her."
(And an image of laying my hands on her and praying came to my mind.)
Immediately, my "other" mind recoiled, and thought: ARGH! But, that's so weird and scary!
But i decided there and then, that prayer is something that, as a Christian, i should exercise and when there is cause to pray, be obedient and PRAY! And indeed, in me, i felt that i should not toss what i had "heard" away but respond in obedience.
And believe me, prayer moves things. It does something, small or big, in the spiritual realm although you can't tangibly see it.
Now, i have NEVER gone to pray VOLUNTARILY for anyone. The only times when i have prayed for people is during alloted times that are MEANT to be spent praying for one another or another person. When we have no option not to.
(This is where i have heard so much about going forth to pray, but have never done in practical)
So, having to physically transport myself to the person in question with the motive to pray is like... Moving in faith and fear at the same time, even when the person was sound asleep during then.
A strange feeling rose up in me as i walked over to her room. It was a mix of human apprehension and fear but then, i also felt a sense of empowerment and also a sense that what i was doing, was right.
I knelt at the foot of her bed, hopefully where she wouldn't see me if she awoke at all. I was also afraid that dad or mom would walk by and ask me what i was doing in the dark. Oh yeah, i didn't mention too that praying for someone can be embarrassing!
Did you know that? Praying for someone (without planning to) feels precisely like stepping out from your own comfort zone and bearing yourself openly.
(picture going up to a sick stranger and ask if they would allow you to pray for them)
Hahah, before i could get the first few words out, she tossed in bed quite vigorously and i thought: ARGH! She's gonna see me!
*Jo scuttles out back into her own room*
Oh well. I thought, never mind... I'll just pray for her where i am and so i did.
*** ***
Hey Jie, how're you this morning?
"Oh, better... and hungry."
*Jo smiles inwardly*
So, did you have to get up to go to the toilet last night?
"No, in fact, i slept like a log... I slept throughout even though i spent the day itself sleeping." (even she herself sounded surprised at this)
*Jo smiles inwardly again*
God sure answered my prayer word for word!
Lessons Learnt:
- When you think you hear something, check to see if it is biblical. Whether it is in line with God's character and deed.
- And if it is, RESPOND in HUMBLE OBEDIENCE! If God meant for you to do something for Him, it might well be that He wants to do something through you so that you can see the work of His hand and share it with others to bless them! :-)
- If God had spoken and you obey, He will honour you. This translates to other areas in life. It's about "dying to yourself". It's about giving up of the things that mean something to you, or giving up the fears, feelings of embarrassment, pride, etc.
It is truly about desiring, loving and trusting in God and the purposes of God so much, that nothing that stems from yourself stands in the way of His will.
- Prayer may be scary, a bold step forward and embarrassing to ourselves. After praying, you may not always see something dramatic happening before your very eyes. But take heart, because prayer moves things, sometimes in ways you cannot see and sometimes, in ways that you can see. From a song we've sung:
"Step by step we're moving forward,
Little by little taking ground,
Every prayer a powerful weapon,
Strongholds come,
Tumbling down and down,
And down, and down, and down..."
So it's time that we find it in ourselves to overcome this barrier to extend our hands out in love to those who are in need. All this, so that we may share of His goodness and to see in them the same joy that we have come to know.
*** ***
Uncle GH's workshop on "Walking in the Supernatural" in church had indeed put some seeds of prior knowledge now as i reflect on this.
Till Then.
*Exam mugging has begun!*
Sunday, July 17, 2005
hur?
Popped by an old schoolmate's blog and i read something he said about how he feels, now that he is in love: (not the exact words)
"... my heart has been stolen by somebody and nothing else thrills me anymore except when i see XXX".
(Trust me when i say that it sounded a lot more... "passionate" when read with the complete post and with the other posts. Very generous with his expressions of love i must say.)
I was like: Woah.
Ok, being the contradiction that i am, i feel too much and feel too little. So, although i (censored, censored, censored), i stop short at agreeing if that is what "true love" does to a person, because i thought it was quite intense.
Then again, maybe i have been living in a hole?
People, is that what "true love" does to a person? Please feel free to enlighten the suaku/blur gong/cynic/unfeeling/too feeling.
- Is it an unhealthy intoxication?
- Or is it just simply a case of an emotional person just being in touch with his feelings of love. Love, that is wholesome, pure and true.
- Or is it signs of the honeymoon period sort of thing.
- Or maybe i just haven't heard how strongly guys can feel about their loved one.
(or maybe i refuse to believe that they, guys, can feel that strongly. Hm.)
I is curious AND clueless, if you would be so kind, please enlighten mua! Please? Thanks skew!
*** ***
J: Actually, i like war movies...
Me: Really? Oh, things like... Saving Rya... (proceeds to burst out laughing hysterically)
(J. and the rest of my team mates look at me in amusement and endure my incessent giggling...)
It was later when i, errr, confessed that i had meant to say "Saving Private Ryan" (referring to the movie) but instead was on the verge of saying... : "Saving Ryan's Privates"
Man, you should've heard the girls burst out roaring and hooting with laughter in the computer lab while A., the only guy in our group looked downward with a smile on his face.
(i read that joke somewhere but i never knew that it would stick until i'd say it wrongly. Must've thought it was hilarious too.)
"... my heart has been stolen by somebody and nothing else thrills me anymore except when i see XXX".
(Trust me when i say that it sounded a lot more... "passionate" when read with the complete post and with the other posts. Very generous with his expressions of love i must say.)
I was like: Woah.
Ok, being the contradiction that i am, i feel too much and feel too little. So, although i (censored, censored, censored), i stop short at agreeing if that is what "true love" does to a person, because i thought it was quite intense.
Then again, maybe i have been living in a hole?
People, is that what "true love" does to a person? Please feel free to enlighten the suaku/blur gong/cynic/unfeeling/too feeling.
- Is it an unhealthy intoxication?
- Or is it just simply a case of an emotional person just being in touch with his feelings of love. Love, that is wholesome, pure and true.
- Or is it signs of the honeymoon period sort of thing.
- Or maybe i just haven't heard how strongly guys can feel about their loved one.
(or maybe i refuse to believe that they, guys, can feel that strongly. Hm.)
I is curious AND clueless, if you would be so kind, please enlighten mua! Please? Thanks skew!
*** ***
J: Actually, i like war movies...
Me: Really? Oh, things like... Saving Rya... (proceeds to burst out laughing hysterically)
(J. and the rest of my team mates look at me in amusement and endure my incessent giggling...)
It was later when i, errr, confessed that i had meant to say "Saving Private Ryan" (referring to the movie) but instead was on the verge of saying... : "Saving Ryan's Privates"
Man, you should've heard the girls burst out roaring and hooting with laughter in the computer lab while A., the only guy in our group looked downward with a smile on his face.
(i read that joke somewhere but i never knew that it would stick until i'd say it wrongly. Must've thought it was hilarious too.)
Saturday, July 16, 2005
continuation 1
Haven't been keeping up with the usual daily postings. A lot on my mind, but so little words to express. Also, there's no the "i must blog about this!" kind of inspiration.
But one thing i have to say is... This past week has been wonderful, thanks to you. I had the pleasure of savouring the rich and diverse musical delectables from different parts of the world AND most of all... _____ ____ ___. *wink*
Thank you.
Not an often occurring event, this, the WASBE 12th International Conference. So, it was indeed a huge blessing, and treat!
WASBE-World Association for Symphonic Bands and Ensemble.
AND WE GOT TO TRY THE SOPRANO SAXOPHONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *drooooooooool* Oh, if ONLY i held on to you longer... you sweet, sweeeeet, golden, smooth saxophone... ooohh-lala-YeeHaaaa!
*composes self*
I just spent my saturday in school with a nice bunch of classmates (THANK GOD!) doing an experimental project. This weekend's covering Cognitive Modelling, and next weekend's on Memory. Yeah, sunday included. Yeehaa!
I think i am overfed. Urgh.
I only have a mere 2 more months to my exams. I am elated and panicking, all at once. RAGH!
I will die a horrible death if i don't start mugging, like, now.
Jed demonstrates rigor mortis. (muscular stiffening, that follows death)
*** ***
I did that masochistic thing again. Why Jo, why? But then again, the masochism is losing its effect somewhat.
Good. Very good.
*** ***
Onto the next 2 points that i want to share that have blessed me immensely.
Thirdly: God's Purposes are higher than ours.
This one is a touchy issue. For example, God Heals. Yes. But not all the time. Sometimes, we tend to emphasize that God wants to heal everyone and all the time. But this is not true, and it's because there is a reason for all that He allows and does not allow.
It might come across as sounding rather evil, morbid and disgusting. That how a loving God can bear to allow his people to keep carrying a burden. But God knows how to deal with us and what would be the best ways to mold and teach us.
Sometimes he heals us and when He doesn't, sometimes, afflictions can keep us humbled, keep us focused on seeking the Lord, to keep us walking on the straight and narrow.
And when the road gets treacherous, it boils down once again, to trust. And we trust, that His ways are higher, His thoughts are higher and His purposes are higher.
No amount of intellectuals, doctors, scholars, and other brainy people will be able to comprehend all that God intends.
He made us, the little humans we are. We are limited in our capacity in all areas in comparison with God.
And we need to be humbled, be still, and know that He is God.
Fourth: WWJD?
I sometimes wear a crucifix that has, engraved upon it, "WWJD". It stands for What Would Jesus Do. But after yesterday, i will also keep in mind, that it also stands for "Walking With Jesus Daily".
That might sound like the easiest thing to do, but let me assure you, that it is also one of the hardest things in life to do.
That is our challenge. And in the challenges, we are changed people when we come out of a situation.
It may be hard, but when we have run the race, when the end of time comes and when we meet our God face to face... It will be the most... unspeakably fulfilling, awe inspiring and glorifying (and everything wonderful!) end.
(to be continued)
But one thing i have to say is... This past week has been wonderful, thanks to you. I had the pleasure of savouring the rich and diverse musical delectables from different parts of the world AND most of all... _____ ____ ___. *wink*
Thank you.
Not an often occurring event, this, the WASBE 12th International Conference. So, it was indeed a huge blessing, and treat!
WASBE-World Association for Symphonic Bands and Ensemble.
AND WE GOT TO TRY THE SOPRANO SAXOPHONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *drooooooooool* Oh, if ONLY i held on to you longer... you sweet, sweeeeet, golden, smooth saxophone... ooohh-lala-YeeHaaaa!
*composes self*
I just spent my saturday in school with a nice bunch of classmates (THANK GOD!) doing an experimental project. This weekend's covering Cognitive Modelling, and next weekend's on Memory. Yeah, sunday included. Yeehaa!
I think i am overfed. Urgh.
I only have a mere 2 more months to my exams. I am elated and panicking, all at once. RAGH!
I will die a horrible death if i don't start mugging, like, now.
Jed demonstrates rigor mortis. (muscular stiffening, that follows death)
*** ***
I did that masochistic thing again. Why Jo, why? But then again, the masochism is losing its effect somewhat.
Good. Very good.
*** ***
Onto the next 2 points that i want to share that have blessed me immensely.
Thirdly: God's Purposes are higher than ours.
This one is a touchy issue. For example, God Heals. Yes. But not all the time. Sometimes, we tend to emphasize that God wants to heal everyone and all the time. But this is not true, and it's because there is a reason for all that He allows and does not allow.
It might come across as sounding rather evil, morbid and disgusting. That how a loving God can bear to allow his people to keep carrying a burden. But God knows how to deal with us and what would be the best ways to mold and teach us.
Sometimes he heals us and when He doesn't, sometimes, afflictions can keep us humbled, keep us focused on seeking the Lord, to keep us walking on the straight and narrow.
And when the road gets treacherous, it boils down once again, to trust. And we trust, that His ways are higher, His thoughts are higher and His purposes are higher.
No amount of intellectuals, doctors, scholars, and other brainy people will be able to comprehend all that God intends.
He made us, the little humans we are. We are limited in our capacity in all areas in comparison with God.
And we need to be humbled, be still, and know that He is God.
Fourth: WWJD?
I sometimes wear a crucifix that has, engraved upon it, "WWJD". It stands for What Would Jesus Do. But after yesterday, i will also keep in mind, that it also stands for "Walking With Jesus Daily".
That might sound like the easiest thing to do, but let me assure you, that it is also one of the hardest things in life to do.
That is our challenge. And in the challenges, we are changed people when we come out of a situation.
It may be hard, but when we have run the race, when the end of time comes and when we meet our God face to face... It will be the most... unspeakably fulfilling, awe inspiring and glorifying (and everything wonderful!) end.
(to be continued)
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Blessed
(written on the 10th July, sunday)
Today, my mom threw her hands up in the air and waved them about, exclaiming with unbridled emotion. (ok, that was a little over the top, but she DID DO the waving and exclaiming)
All that with her durian smeared gloves on and all.
No, she didn't win the lottery, no, i didn't blow up the kitchen, no, i didn't drop a durian on my foot and no, i most certainly am not pregnant.
(though i've been having a suspiciously voracious appetite. Hmmm...)
Mumsy: "Finally! Something that the daughter and father agree on!"
Dadsy: "Huh? You mean we don't agree on things?"
Mumsy: "I mean, this is something that both daughter and father are talking about so passionately."
To explain why she lapsed into a temporary frenzy of a few seconds...
Yesterday evening, we had a guest speaker in church who came to share the word with us during the Youth Service.
I cannot begin to express HOW MUCH his message spoke so deeply and meaningfully. I don't even know where to start to share!
I brought it up this morning with Dadsy and we, being the critical sort, started bringing up the salient and important points that spoke such truth in the face of so much misleading preaching these days.
Dad and i agree that, we, ("we" collectively being, us the congregation AND leaders), REALLY NEEDED to hear the hard truths about the Christian walk. For too long, we've been hearing all these things about constantly being in victory for Christ. We both felt that we needed to be brought back down to Earth and cease the sensationalizing.
Sensationalizing is one of the most dangerous aspects that take place in the church. It misleads and sows false seeds of faith, in pre-believers and believers alike.
Verses referred to:
- Isaiah 40: 27-31
- 2 Corinthians 12: 9-10
First: We will face times when God seems far away. But take heart...
- In our Christian walk, we WILL face dry periods when God "removes" the feelings of His presence from us. But that does NOT mean that he is really gone. In fact, He never left us, will never leave us and He will still continue to walk closely beside us. :-)
He does this, not because He wants to point and laugh to get amusement (maybe the same way you might snigger and take the toilet away from The Sims characters), but it's to teach us: To NOT rely on FEELINGS OF GOD, but rather to rely on GOD HIMSELF. That's who we place our trust in. The Originator.
Second: The Christian walk is NOT a straight line.
Jesus never promised us a bed of roses. Life will always have its challenges, because God wants to REFINE us into the people that He wants us to become. To shine and show the beauty of His character and to be prepared for the things that He wants us to do.
It is in our weakness, when God's strength is seen. Isn't it wonderful? We kinda.. "Win", in both ways. Think about it:
During the good times, we are all happy. Birds sing, snakes dance and monkeys do not fall off the trees. We rejoice.
But in the bad times, we can be equally happy and at peace too. Are we nuts? No.
Because i'd like to share with you, that as we live on this life with God by our side, we know that we will never be left alone and that God takes cares of us, of our every need.
All that we need to do, the attitude to adopt, is to have an unwavering trust in God. And when we put our complete trust in Him, there is no more need to worry about all our tomorrows.
It is during out lowest times of sorrow and suffering, that His Grace will shine through and that's when you see His work being done as well, even in the bad times! I've witnessed it for myself and i have absolutely no doubt about my Lord.
:-) :-D ;-D
These are the first 2 points that i remember from that message he shared. Most of what he shared were the most essential and humbling foundations of the Christian walk that need to be kept in mind all the time.
YAY! I am so blessed by the message, and i hope you will be too.
(to be continued)
Today, my mom threw her hands up in the air and waved them about, exclaiming with unbridled emotion. (ok, that was a little over the top, but she DID DO the waving and exclaiming)
All that with her durian smeared gloves on and all.
No, she didn't win the lottery, no, i didn't blow up the kitchen, no, i didn't drop a durian on my foot and no, i most certainly am not pregnant.
(though i've been having a suspiciously voracious appetite. Hmmm...)
Mumsy: "Finally! Something that the daughter and father agree on!"
Dadsy: "Huh? You mean we don't agree on things?"
Mumsy: "I mean, this is something that both daughter and father are talking about so passionately."
To explain why she lapsed into a temporary frenzy of a few seconds...
Yesterday evening, we had a guest speaker in church who came to share the word with us during the Youth Service.
I cannot begin to express HOW MUCH his message spoke so deeply and meaningfully. I don't even know where to start to share!
I brought it up this morning with Dadsy and we, being the critical sort, started bringing up the salient and important points that spoke such truth in the face of so much misleading preaching these days.
Dad and i agree that, we, ("we" collectively being, us the congregation AND leaders), REALLY NEEDED to hear the hard truths about the Christian walk. For too long, we've been hearing all these things about constantly being in victory for Christ. We both felt that we needed to be brought back down to Earth and cease the sensationalizing.
Sensationalizing is one of the most dangerous aspects that take place in the church. It misleads and sows false seeds of faith, in pre-believers and believers alike.
Verses referred to:
- Isaiah 40: 27-31
- 2 Corinthians 12: 9-10
First: We will face times when God seems far away. But take heart...
- In our Christian walk, we WILL face dry periods when God "removes" the feelings of His presence from us. But that does NOT mean that he is really gone. In fact, He never left us, will never leave us and He will still continue to walk closely beside us. :-)
He does this, not because He wants to point and laugh to get amusement (maybe the same way you might snigger and take the toilet away from The Sims characters), but it's to teach us: To NOT rely on FEELINGS OF GOD, but rather to rely on GOD HIMSELF. That's who we place our trust in. The Originator.
Second: The Christian walk is NOT a straight line.
Jesus never promised us a bed of roses. Life will always have its challenges, because God wants to REFINE us into the people that He wants us to become. To shine and show the beauty of His character and to be prepared for the things that He wants us to do.
It is in our weakness, when God's strength is seen. Isn't it wonderful? We kinda.. "Win", in both ways. Think about it:
During the good times, we are all happy. Birds sing, snakes dance and monkeys do not fall off the trees. We rejoice.
But in the bad times, we can be equally happy and at peace too. Are we nuts? No.
Because i'd like to share with you, that as we live on this life with God by our side, we know that we will never be left alone and that God takes cares of us, of our every need.
All that we need to do, the attitude to adopt, is to have an unwavering trust in God. And when we put our complete trust in Him, there is no more need to worry about all our tomorrows.
It is during out lowest times of sorrow and suffering, that His Grace will shine through and that's when you see His work being done as well, even in the bad times! I've witnessed it for myself and i have absolutely no doubt about my Lord.
:-) :-D ;-D
These are the first 2 points that i remember from that message he shared. Most of what he shared were the most essential and humbling foundations of the Christian walk that need to be kept in mind all the time.
YAY! I am so blessed by the message, and i hope you will be too.
(to be continued)
Monday, July 11, 2005
There's plenty going on these days, and so much i want to say. But each time i blog it down, it doesn't come out sounding right. :-S
I've got a hoard of drafts sitting patiently in blogger. I bet each of them are wondering when i'd put them up so that they can speak for me.
But they eventually will, after editing. Yes, good drafts, sit tight a little ok.
I realized how slack i've been this year and i am beginning to feel panic rising up in me. As i compare the kind of mugging i did last year despite my hard work, i dread the mugging i will need to do this year as the exams approach this october.
Just a couple of pictures.
In the Spirit of Narcissism, I took a whole bunch of portrait photos and realized that the only one worthy of being posted was the one with half of my face. (hm, quarter actually, come to think of it.)
Sigh, face the truth squarely, Jo.
(pun unintended)
Actually, the subject of this photo is really the target sheet behind me.
These are just a few of the most important people in my life, some others had to leave earlier while our group leader is the photographer. These are the people who allowed me to open up about my walk with God, and the people who are walking the same walk with me, with our same Lord, Jesus.
The NTU cell from Church of Our Saviour.
I've got a hoard of drafts sitting patiently in blogger. I bet each of them are wondering when i'd put them up so that they can speak for me.
But they eventually will, after editing. Yes, good drafts, sit tight a little ok.
I realized how slack i've been this year and i am beginning to feel panic rising up in me. As i compare the kind of mugging i did last year despite my hard work, i dread the mugging i will need to do this year as the exams approach this october.
Just a couple of pictures.
In the Spirit of Narcissism, I took a whole bunch of portrait photos and realized that the only one worthy of being posted was the one with half of my face. (hm, quarter actually, come to think of it.)
Sigh, face the truth squarely, Jo.
(pun unintended)
Actually, the subject of this photo is really the target sheet behind me.
These are just a few of the most important people in my life, some others had to leave earlier while our group leader is the photographer. These are the people who allowed me to open up about my walk with God, and the people who are walking the same walk with me, with our same Lord, Jesus.
The NTU cell from Church of Our Saviour.
Friday, July 08, 2005
Hearing the unheard.(updated)
Note: Haloscan has officially declared itself UNTRUSTWORTHY in my books, so people, simply click on the comments link whenever you please and disregard whether or not it looks as if Haloscan has updated to reflect the new number of comments. Thank you.
*** ***
Rather odd.
There was this time when i was stoning and staring into space (you know how sometimes your vision rests on something ahead but your mind is floating and running through thoughts such that you're not really aware of what's going on around you).
A David Lanz CD was playing in the background and you know, for the life of me, i promise you that i thought i heard someone singing the WORDS to his music.
The tricky thing is, the music from David Lanz's CDs are purely instrumental.
But i honestly thought i heard words singing in sync with the melody. Every emotion that was stirred by the notes he played, was matched with what was sung.
When shook myself up from my... er... hallucination? I realized with surprise that the singing had ceased and all i heard was just the tinkling of the piano again.
THE STRANGE THING WAS:
The words (that i thought i heard) of the song that i had been listening to, still echoed in my mind.
I think it was a male voice. That typical kind of male singing voice you might hear in a Jim Brickman album.
(I don't remember the exact words now. Though what i do remember was that the words revolved around the theme of "Love".)
I sure wasn't making up the lyrics in my head because the words simply flowed with the music.
Ah... One more thing added to my Personal Collection of Mysteries.
*** ***
We sat in the calm darkness, after the rain.
The night was young, but time was fleeting.
(with you, time is always fleeting)
The initial chatter slowly gave way to that soft, sweet, peaceful silence, made complete by the enveloping quiet night.
(And isn't being surrounded by nature, beautiful?)
I smile at the thought of the coming together of two naturally occurring gifts to Mankind.
There was no need to say anything.
Our communion was not bound to words.
But if there were to be any sound at all, or if you thought you heard something, perhaps a funny little high pitched tune...
It probably was the singing, coming from an achingly enraptured and contented heart.
Note: Oh and by the way... This is rated VERY "PG" ok? Nothing sleazy going on around here, yo.
*** ***
Rather odd.
There was this time when i was stoning and staring into space (you know how sometimes your vision rests on something ahead but your mind is floating and running through thoughts such that you're not really aware of what's going on around you).
A David Lanz CD was playing in the background and you know, for the life of me, i promise you that i thought i heard someone singing the WORDS to his music.
The tricky thing is, the music from David Lanz's CDs are purely instrumental.
But i honestly thought i heard words singing in sync with the melody. Every emotion that was stirred by the notes he played, was matched with what was sung.
When shook myself up from my... er... hallucination? I realized with surprise that the singing had ceased and all i heard was just the tinkling of the piano again.
THE STRANGE THING WAS:
The words (that i thought i heard) of the song that i had been listening to, still echoed in my mind.
I think it was a male voice. That typical kind of male singing voice you might hear in a Jim Brickman album.
(I don't remember the exact words now. Though what i do remember was that the words revolved around the theme of "Love".)
I sure wasn't making up the lyrics in my head because the words simply flowed with the music.
Ah... One more thing added to my Personal Collection of Mysteries.
*** ***
We sat in the calm darkness, after the rain.
The night was young, but time was fleeting.
(with you, time is always fleeting)
The initial chatter slowly gave way to that soft, sweet, peaceful silence, made complete by the enveloping quiet night.
(And isn't being surrounded by nature, beautiful?)
I smile at the thought of the coming together of two naturally occurring gifts to Mankind.
There was no need to say anything.
Our communion was not bound to words.
But if there were to be any sound at all, or if you thought you heard something, perhaps a funny little high pitched tune...
It probably was the singing, coming from an achingly enraptured and contented heart.
Note: Oh and by the way... This is rated VERY "PG" ok? Nothing sleazy going on around here, yo.
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
1. One of those thingies you get through the email. I liked the picture and the words had some truth in it. BUT i DISAGREE with the first line!
More than a year ago, i had come to the conclusion that: The minute life begins, i would lose you.
And so, a year ago, i resigned myself to that fact.
I went to the stream with a heavy but resolute heart and released the little flower.
I watched it bob its way down. It was sad to see it go, to accept that the vibrant colours that i could see and study so clearly before when i held it closely in my palm, would get smaller and smaller and finally disappear as the current takes it away from me.
I turned and walked away knowing that i had done the right thing.
A year later, that leads to today, i was walking along the same stream when a flash of bright pink at the corner of my eye caught my attention. A memory sparked in me and I spun around and retraced my steps to confirm what i thought i had seen.
I hurried forward and gasped sharply as I bent down to find the same (same looking or the very same?) flower i had released a year ago. There were no others in sight.
It was floating placidly, gently, in a little shallow rock pool, still as beautiful and vibrant as ever, like it just came into bloom a while ago. Don't ask me how it remained (did it?) the same way it was.
It just, was.
Part of me was glad for the good omen, yet part of me hesitates to pick it up.
"Why?" you might ask.
"It's there, take it! Can't it be any more clear to you?"
Well, the reason is this. I hesitate, because i am not sure if what had returned to me is really something that belongs to me.
Whether it will be temporary, yet again.
*** ***
Can those word be honoured forever?
I remain sceptical and untrusting simply because Humans have proven themselves fallible. Even with the toughest sounding words, words that are suppose to put me at ease, the stoic and honest-to-goodness Lion Heart. Even actions.
They all can fail.
With the turning of events and a change of mind and heart, one can easily crush you with news that you never want to hear.
You can never expect it.
This is NOT to say that we ALWAYS fail, or that the chances of things failing is higher. This is NOT to bring discouragement to you. It's just a fact that we've got to see.
I guess what i am saying is that if things fail, i am, right now, in NO FRAME of mind to get kicked and abused.
But YET.
2.
I know.
One aspect of Life IS about letting yourself go. Releasing yourself. Allowing yourself to jump and be saved by some things called Trust, True Love and Faithfulness. (and the rest of the brigade)
And should you get burnt, yes, you HURT like crap and EVERYTHING feels like crap. But you pick youself up after you've taken as much time as you want, to heal and learn to love still. It's part of all the learning you do in this lifetime.
So, as to whether i am going to let myself go...
More than a year ago, i had come to the conclusion that: The minute life begins, i would lose you.
And so, a year ago, i resigned myself to that fact.
I went to the stream with a heavy but resolute heart and released the little flower.
I watched it bob its way down. It was sad to see it go, to accept that the vibrant colours that i could see and study so clearly before when i held it closely in my palm, would get smaller and smaller and finally disappear as the current takes it away from me.
I turned and walked away knowing that i had done the right thing.
A year later, that leads to today, i was walking along the same stream when a flash of bright pink at the corner of my eye caught my attention. A memory sparked in me and I spun around and retraced my steps to confirm what i thought i had seen.
I hurried forward and gasped sharply as I bent down to find the same (same looking or the very same?) flower i had released a year ago. There were no others in sight.
It was floating placidly, gently, in a little shallow rock pool, still as beautiful and vibrant as ever, like it just came into bloom a while ago. Don't ask me how it remained (did it?) the same way it was.
It just, was.
Part of me was glad for the good omen, yet part of me hesitates to pick it up.
"Why?" you might ask.
"It's there, take it! Can't it be any more clear to you?"
Well, the reason is this. I hesitate, because i am not sure if what had returned to me is really something that belongs to me.
Whether it will be temporary, yet again.
*** ***
Can those word be honoured forever?
I remain sceptical and untrusting simply because Humans have proven themselves fallible. Even with the toughest sounding words, words that are suppose to put me at ease, the stoic and honest-to-goodness Lion Heart. Even actions.
They all can fail.
With the turning of events and a change of mind and heart, one can easily crush you with news that you never want to hear.
You can never expect it.
This is NOT to say that we ALWAYS fail, or that the chances of things failing is higher. This is NOT to bring discouragement to you. It's just a fact that we've got to see.
I guess what i am saying is that if things fail, i am, right now, in NO FRAME of mind to get kicked and abused.
But YET.
2.
I know.
One aspect of Life IS about letting yourself go. Releasing yourself. Allowing yourself to jump and be saved by some things called Trust, True Love and Faithfulness. (and the rest of the brigade)
And should you get burnt, yes, you HURT like crap and EVERYTHING feels like crap. But you pick youself up after you've taken as much time as you want, to heal and learn to love still. It's part of all the learning you do in this lifetime.
So, as to whether i am going to let myself go...
Friday, July 01, 2005
For the eyes
Having nothing much to say (for now... If only because i am still sorting out my thoughts) so this will be another picture blog post.
These have been in hibernation for a while, but not too ancient either. Heh heh, no more making use of "Hello". Gosh, that thing made me cut and paste and do all sorts of acrobatics. With Blogger's new photo posting, things're way easier. :-)
By the way, don't you think that the Boss Bottled-Fragrance for Men advert is simply sizzling?
WAIT. I was not reduced to a drooling watery mass ok? It's not about the man!
I just simply think that the whole ensemble of the background womanly voice (which was enchanting though incoherent), the man coming out from the shower, taking and putting on his clothes in such a fluid and easy motion with the little under-the-brow- glance/smirk was short, sweet, and captivating.
Woah.
*** ***
This was taken during the NUS Indoor Shoot a few weeks back, during the Team Event knockout round.
Note: My target sheet is NOT in the photo, so, please do not assume that those 10 pointers you see are mine. :-D
Kudos to WR for the photos. Thank you. :-)
I'd like to think that this is a picture of extreme opposites being next to each other.
I like this one.
Would've liked it better if the reflection of the sun wasn't there.
But i like this one too.
Its beauty and the aroma of blooming life filled my room and reminded me of you every time i stepped in.
Beautiful in Life, and in a sad way, beautiful also even in Death.
Love this one.
*gnaw, gnaw* *munch munch*
WR: Remember the suggestion of a hammock? Heh, we tried it for a while, so this is one of the dudes having a meal on it. You can see the paper clips in the background. (and yes, an old sock was used)
Whenever you see buildings clustered all around like this, trust me, this will instinctively cause you to snap a picture.
And this one wasn't taken as a reflection in water like the other one in a previous post. (the one with the fish)
*argh* my eyeeeessssssss!
That outing with my Stars! From the left: Germaine, Betty and i.
I is their biggest fan!
Attention guys: The centre one is Taken. With a CAPITAL T. Do not touch, or i will zap you with my psychedelic feelers and chomp off your fingers with my ferocious teeth.
Oh well, when i can't have pink highlights in real life...
Germ, let me know if you want to be done up too.
My beloved sure knows how/where to snuggle and make himself comfortable.
Strange angle, i thought.
For entertainment, buy: Miniature Pinscher.
Just be ready to lose a few years of your life taking care of one of these.
These have been in hibernation for a while, but not too ancient either. Heh heh, no more making use of "Hello". Gosh, that thing made me cut and paste and do all sorts of acrobatics. With Blogger's new photo posting, things're way easier. :-)
By the way, don't you think that the Boss Bottled-Fragrance for Men advert is simply sizzling?
WAIT. I was not reduced to a drooling watery mass ok? It's not about the man!
I just simply think that the whole ensemble of the background womanly voice (which was enchanting though incoherent), the man coming out from the shower, taking and putting on his clothes in such a fluid and easy motion with the little under-the-brow- glance/smirk was short, sweet, and captivating.
Woah.
*** ***
This was taken during the NUS Indoor Shoot a few weeks back, during the Team Event knockout round.
Note: My target sheet is NOT in the photo, so, please do not assume that those 10 pointers you see are mine. :-D
Kudos to WR for the photos. Thank you. :-)
I'd like to think that this is a picture of extreme opposites being next to each other.
I like this one.
Would've liked it better if the reflection of the sun wasn't there.
But i like this one too.
Its beauty and the aroma of blooming life filled my room and reminded me of you every time i stepped in.
Beautiful in Life, and in a sad way, beautiful also even in Death.
Love this one.
*gnaw, gnaw* *munch munch*
WR: Remember the suggestion of a hammock? Heh, we tried it for a while, so this is one of the dudes having a meal on it. You can see the paper clips in the background. (and yes, an old sock was used)
Whenever you see buildings clustered all around like this, trust me, this will instinctively cause you to snap a picture.And this one wasn't taken as a reflection in water like the other one in a previous post. (the one with the fish)
*argh* my eyeeeessssssss!
That outing with my Stars! From the left: Germaine, Betty and i.
I is their biggest fan!
Attention guys: The centre one is Taken. With a CAPITAL T. Do not touch, or i will zap you with my psychedelic feelers and chomp off your fingers with my ferocious teeth.
Oh well, when i can't have pink highlights in real life...
Germ, let me know if you want to be done up too.
My beloved sure knows how/where to snuggle and make himself comfortable.
Strange angle, i thought.
For entertainment, buy: Miniature Pinscher.
Just be ready to lose a few years of your life taking care of one of these.
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
My heart is not whole without you, Lord.
When things go well in life, i fall into the trap of thriving on the false sense of temporary security, of the "joy of this life". I become blinded, numbed out and think that i see no need to cling onto you because i think i have everything i need and want.
How mistaken i am!
So what happens when all is stripped away? When everything that means the world to me is ruthlessly slashed from my grasp.
When my loved ones are afflicted, when my finances are gone, when my health is in shambles, when there is no one i can humanly depend on.
It is only when you reign in me and when i put my 100% trust in You, that i can stand with divinely given inner joy, peace, strength and confidence that transcends human comprehension.
And this wholeness does not change, does not warp, when everything and everyone is taken away from me, when i have zero material belongings and when i stand in all my vulnerability.
As long as i have you, there will always be hope. And even if things have to lead to death, i have no fear of it. For death is simply the passing from Earth to where You are.
That is the kind of faith i want to have. Lord, help me not let my heart grow cold.
When things go well in life, i fall into the trap of thriving on the false sense of temporary security, of the "joy of this life". I become blinded, numbed out and think that i see no need to cling onto you because i think i have everything i need and want.
How mistaken i am!
So what happens when all is stripped away? When everything that means the world to me is ruthlessly slashed from my grasp.
When my loved ones are afflicted, when my finances are gone, when my health is in shambles, when there is no one i can humanly depend on.
It is only when you reign in me and when i put my 100% trust in You, that i can stand with divinely given inner joy, peace, strength and confidence that transcends human comprehension.
And this wholeness does not change, does not warp, when everything and everyone is taken away from me, when i have zero material belongings and when i stand in all my vulnerability.
As long as i have you, there will always be hope. And even if things have to lead to death, i have no fear of it. For death is simply the passing from Earth to where You are.
That is the kind of faith i want to have. Lord, help me not let my heart grow cold.
Monday, June 27, 2005
(updated-ed)
I want to maul something with my mop because...:
1. I spent forever doing a Statistics Test MANUALLY that took me the entire day to read up on and do till 5+am. And my outcome DID NOT match the computer generated outcome. I was getting NEGATIVE values. (it took like, 2 fullscape papers ok?!) *roar!*
2. After that unsuccessful mathematical torture, i developed a mindblock which resulted in me churning out the ONE humble word, "The" under the "Discussion" section of my report. I stared at the screen for a long time before deciding that i will finally go to sleep. That was at about 7am.
3. Now, i am still stuck at "The". It is 2pm.
Later.
(9:19pm)
Haloscan is being such a pain these days. I dearly want to get rid of it but i am not sure of which html codes i should delete from my template. Ho Boy.
Yeah, so do click on the link though it looks like it hasn't updated. :-)
I'm glad for Blogger's new feature that enables me to put pictures quickly and i don't have to keep cutting and pasting htmls! Yay, and i get to write next to the pictures too, to save space. :-)
Question: Why do people find it funny when someone farts?
Since we're on this topic, i just want to say that i am totally fine with people burping, farting, drooling... etc, in front of me. Like hello, we're all human right? And such things happen to happen/need to be done... So you don't have to be too embarrassed about it.
If it was a particularly loud burp or stinky fart, at most, we'll laugh it over and i'll tell you that you're "gross!" but that's just to tease you, and it's nothing malicious.
I might even burp/fart in reply. Heh. (did i just say that? ;-) )
But of course, there must be some degree of civilized behaviour lah. I trust that we are all mature adults and know how to be sensitive enough to one another.
There was a time when this guy i was out with (most girls i'm with do not gross me out ok?) TOTALLY turned me off with his habits. It was just so darn DISGUSTING. I couldn't take it, and i felt like i was talking to Caveman XXX.
Anyway. Back to work.
Friday, June 24, 2005
In two minds.
*chuckle*
Thanks so much people for dropping by to leave your comments (previous post) and for not telling me that i should just go and cut two holes for my eyes and wear a brown paper bag over my head for the rest of my life.
Hiak, hiak.
I don't know why, but i am feeling very troubled today. I hope it's just the hormones and theextremely RICH Banana Butterscotch Cheesecake i had nice dessert talking.
Went out with my ultimate gorgeous girl friends (HOO YEAH!) today.
Uhm... Our J-Pop Star looking one is taken already lah, so guys, sorry, no hope for you already. The K or J (both also can)-Pop Star is hot but, guys, you gotta be hotter! (eh, i mean, that you must have a burning passion for God)
The Nerd one, erh... eh... uhm... Has tree trunk arms. Em, up for arm wrestling, guys? I promise she'll give you chance to win one, really!
*Evil Kinevil chuckle*
Gotta go. See you maybe... on sunday or monday.
Thanks so much people for dropping by to leave your comments (previous post) and for not telling me that i should just go and cut two holes for my eyes and wear a brown paper bag over my head for the rest of my life.
Hiak, hiak.
I don't know why, but i am feeling very troubled today. I hope it's just the hormones and the
Went out with my ultimate gorgeous girl friends (HOO YEAH!) today.
Uhm... Our J-Pop Star looking one is taken already lah, so guys, sorry, no hope for you already. The K or J (both also can)-Pop Star is hot but, guys, you gotta be hotter! (eh, i mean, that you must have a burning passion for God)
The Nerd one, erh... eh... uhm... Has tree trunk arms. Em, up for arm wrestling, guys? I promise she'll give you chance to win one, really!
*Evil Kinevil chuckle*
Gotta go. See you maybe... on sunday or monday.
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
(size-that-cannot-be-named) was too Ambitious. *muah hahaha*
misS_D 
This is misS_D.
This was the very girl i first befriended during a pre-band camp briefing back in year 1998, somewhere in October and November.
It was a band leadership camp organized for the leaders of school bands from all over Singapore and we are known either as a "Band Major" or "Drum Major". Each school plops out one student for each post to participate.
We were both Band Majors, she specialized in the bright tootly flute, while i, the sassy saxophone.
Our friendship started off with something like,
Me: Can you hear what s/he (the person giving instructions upfront) is saying?
We quickly become inseparable pals during the camp and till this day, we are still good buddies.
Back then, we laughed at the insanest things (yep! i remember seeing some of these on your blog too!):
- a squashed black mushroom on the road that kept looking dead-er by the day as army vehicles rolled over it. (the camp was held at an army camp)
- medragging my feet walking back to bunk because the sole of my marching black shoe came off while doing foot drill under the hot sun.
- Curry "Pow".
- Broomstick Gang. (of whom i was never chased by)
- "Vampire" *wink*
- "Ba-baat"
- MARK ............ from ........... (hohoho!)
(and so on)
After the camp wrapped up over a course of about 5 days, we still kept in touch, first by the humble and personal snail mail till the internet came along.
Even then, we still talked over the phone at the most unexpected times... Ok, SHE was the one who usually took the initiative to do that, and for that, i am ETERNALLY GRATEFUL.
And so yesterday we met again for some catch-up session over lunch and SHOPPING!!!
I tell you... This GIRL opened my eyes to the wider selection of female clothes, bringing me away from my usual tomboy-sports-can-be-monotonous-relaxed-bo-chup-"so-chai" sense of fashion (although i am kinda proud of it you know?).
Nothing too outlandish but it is definitely a slightly brighter change from my usual garb. She has a good eye for stuff. Can get make-over already just by having her around. Yeah lor, so i spent a bit today.
I don't usually go shopping for nothing and usually, i'd have an agenda and a plan. But today, it just felt RIGHT to go shopping. Hohohoho.
So while browsing along the aisles of Isetan, we spotted this flowery, happy, beachy looking sun dress sort of thing.
We go: OOO!!! This IS NICE!
And we proceed to get our hands all over it to check the cut and trimmings.
misS_D goes: Aiya, but this one is mengarut leh... (points to the lace at the base of the dress.)
Me: (laughs insanely and agrees that it IS mengarut) But let's try it!
So we grabbed an (CANNOT SAY!)-sized dress and gleefully made our way to the dressing room. Ok, so i was the guinea pig lah.
The minute i put it on, i had a bad feeling that it wouldn't zip right up...
To cut the long story short, misS_D had collasped on the floor while i held myself up weakly...
And as sure as the sun rises in the East, both of us were convulsing with laughter and getting our faces beet red with howls and hysterical shrieks of mirth over our little misadventure concerning the sun dress on the pathetic excuse for a mannequin (that is, mua).
(all this happening while within the tiny confines of...)
Ok, so, the dress DID get zipped up but then after that the whole dress wouldn't budge when we tried to shift it to the "right way around". Actually, it didn't help that we didn't KNOW where the zip was suppose to be anyway.
At the back? or at the Side? And the fact that it was a tube top too made it MORE COMICAL for some reason.
Yeah, so i stood there with an ill fitting piece of garment wound tightly around me (like a Ba-Zhang!) the WRONG WAY AROUND and were it not for misS_D's help, i would've had to ask for emergency assistance from any of the nearest salesgirls.
Sad to say...
It WAS a pretty tube sun dress, but having tried one size bigger, we found it was too loose while the next smaller size that i had initially tried on was too small... So, i either have to lose or gain some weight.
*pout*
But later on, we discovered a pretty beachy skirt which kinda went well with my existing top. After borrowing her pair of closed-toe shoes and her sweet looking embroidered bag, the whole ensemble actually looked plausible!
So, the skirt came out from storage and become mine oh mine.
THANK YOU GAL! I loved the time spent with uuuuuu! Girl, you are one good confidant, joker, partner in crime and SHOPPER... *MUAK!*
Dang, yesterday was fun.
We should do this when you're done with your 'A's.
So in the shopping arena in zee end, the day ended happily with m|sS_D getting herself a pretty black spaggetti top and Jo buying 2 pairs of bright earrings, one bright pink tank top and a sunny happy skirt.
And when I reached home and paraded happily around the house in my happy beachy skirt, I was promptly told right off by my sister that it was ... .
*pout*
Neh Mind. I LIKE, can oreddi.
This is misS_D.
This was the very girl i first befriended during a pre-band camp briefing back in year 1998, somewhere in October and November.
It was a band leadership camp organized for the leaders of school bands from all over Singapore and we are known either as a "Band Major" or "Drum Major". Each school plops out one student for each post to participate.
We were both Band Majors, she specialized in the bright tootly flute, while i, the sassy saxophone.
Our friendship started off with something like,
Me: Can you hear what s/he (the person giving instructions upfront) is saying?
We quickly become inseparable pals during the camp and till this day, we are still good buddies.
Back then, we laughed at the insanest things (yep! i remember seeing some of these on your blog too!):
- a squashed black mushroom on the road that kept looking dead-er by the day as army vehicles rolled over it. (the camp was held at an army camp)
- me
- Curry "Pow".
- Broomstick Gang. (of whom i was never chased by)
- "Vampire" *wink*
- "Ba-baat"
- MARK ............ from ........... (hohoho!)
(and so on)
After the camp wrapped up over a course of about 5 days, we still kept in touch, first by the humble and personal snail mail till the internet came along.
Even then, we still talked over the phone at the most unexpected times... Ok, SHE was the one who usually took the initiative to do that, and for that, i am ETERNALLY GRATEFUL.
And so yesterday we met again for some catch-up session over lunch and SHOPPING!!!
I tell you... This GIRL opened my eyes to the wider selection of female clothes, bringing me away from my usual tomboy-sports-can-be-monotonous-relaxed-bo-chup-"so-chai" sense of fashion (although i am kinda proud of it you know?).
Nothing too outlandish but it is definitely a slightly brighter change from my usual garb. She has a good eye for stuff. Can get make-over already just by having her around. Yeah lor, so i spent a bit today.
I don't usually go shopping for nothing and usually, i'd have an agenda and a plan. But today, it just felt RIGHT to go shopping. Hohohoho.
So while browsing along the aisles of Isetan, we spotted this flowery, happy, beachy looking sun dress sort of thing.
We go: OOO!!! This IS NICE!
And we proceed to get our hands all over it to check the cut and trimmings.
misS_D goes: Aiya, but this one is mengarut leh... (points to the lace at the base of the dress.)
Me: (laughs insanely and agrees that it IS mengarut) But let's try it!
So we grabbed an (CANNOT SAY!)-sized dress and gleefully made our way to the dressing room. Ok, so i was the guinea pig lah.
The minute i put it on, i had a bad feeling that it wouldn't zip right up...
To cut the long story short, misS_D had collasped on the floor while i held myself up weakly...
And as sure as the sun rises in the East, both of us were convulsing with laughter and getting our faces beet red with howls and hysterical shrieks of mirth over our little misadventure concerning the sun dress on the pathetic excuse for a mannequin (that is, mua).
(all this happening while within the tiny confines of...)
Ok, so, the dress DID get zipped up but then after that the whole dress wouldn't budge when we tried to shift it to the "right way around". Actually, it didn't help that we didn't KNOW where the zip was suppose to be anyway.
At the back? or at the Side? And the fact that it was a tube top too made it MORE COMICAL for some reason.
Yeah, so i stood there with an ill fitting piece of garment wound tightly around me (like a Ba-Zhang!) the WRONG WAY AROUND and were it not for misS_D's help, i would've had to ask for emergency assistance from any of the nearest salesgirls.
Sad to say...
It WAS a pretty tube sun dress, but having tried one size bigger, we found it was too loose while the next smaller size that i had initially tried on was too small... So, i either have to lose or gain some weight.
*pout*
But later on, we discovered a pretty beachy skirt which kinda went well with my existing top. After borrowing her pair of closed-toe shoes and her sweet looking embroidered bag, the whole ensemble actually looked plausible!
So, the skirt came out from storage and become mine oh mine.
THANK YOU GAL! I loved the time spent with uuuuuu! Girl, you are one good confidant, joker, partner in crime and SHOPPER... *MUAK!*
Dang, yesterday was fun.
We should do this when you're done with your 'A's.
So in the shopping arena in zee end, the day ended happily with m|sS_D getting herself a pretty black spaggetti top and Jo buying 2 pairs of bright earrings, one bright pink tank top and a sunny happy skirt.
And when I reached home and paraded happily around the house in my happy beachy skirt, I was promptly told right off by my sister that it was ... .
*pout*
Neh Mind. I LIKE, can oreddi.
Monday, June 20, 2005
What the weekend was about. (edited)
You were there the two whole days even when it was clearly a long and drawn out, and to some extent, even a boring affair. (since you were not competing)
But you stayed on, to encourage in your quiet, sensitive, caring and self-sacrificing way.
(and enduring yabs and pokes from my team mates...!)
I don't know how else to thank you, but to let you know here, that every little kind gesture you showed spoke volumes to me.
Every single big and small thing that you did... From the moment i saw you, to the moment we parted.
Too many to name. ;-)
I really appreciate it all, very very much.
*** ***
Undeserving, unexpected and unbelievable.
- After 3 months of irregular practice, (2 weeks practice, 3 weeks MIA... cycle repeats again.),
- 2-3 days of actual practice at 18m to get the sighting right (the rest of the practices were at 15m)
- of hoping that i wouldn't finish up last again...
The NUS Indoor Shoot is over and i can now rest a little. The next competition is either the SAFSA shoot or the Pesta Sukan Shoot.
Both of which i think are outdoor events.
Being too close to the exams for my comfort, i most likely won't be taking part in both.
So, i am banking my hopes on DMArchery, that they'd have that year end indoor shoot again, like last year.
The first day of the competition (for the individual events), saturday, of the shoot was a glitch filled one, holding us back about 3+ hours more than what was planned. That probably got a lot of archers complaining.
The place was crowded! Loads of equipments lay all around the Multi Purpose Hall in NUS. There were those "instant set up chairs", archers from the assorted clubs and family members. Packed, packed, packed.
And you know what? My trigger release (you cannot shoot without it) went missing on the day itself. J saved the day with a superb brain surge on his part.
*OH HAIL J!!!*
Gosh! Panicked like mad and it made my team mates go kuku as well.
*OH HAIL J!!!*
When he came to me and said: "I've asked BC's friend already... Sure have one."
I almost died from relief.
*OH HAIL J!!!*
And guess what... BC's friend DID have an extra trigger. What's more, the trigger was of the EXACT same model as mine (except with a different strap), and better still.
The mechanism worked better than my own!
Tell me, God is Good, man...!
Despite the glitches, i still think that we archers were already blessed to have people plan the competition in the very first place so that we can compete.
Without them, how many others would willingly give up of their time and effort to organize and prepare for a competition?
Ok, so this IS an annual thing that NUS does all the time, but still! It requires their time, effort and resources.
I was sandwiched between two national archers, both of whom are sisters. Cute lah, the both of them. The younger sister, i think, tends to be the people-magnet one.
They're both real good and i hope that one day, they'll compete outside of Singapore.
There wasn't really much pressure, since it was simply doing something you love in air-con comfort (ok well, most would disagree here because we were all being grilled in the humid and warm Hall), at a reasonable distance of 18m.
It helped as well that THIS TIME, THERE ARE FINALLY (a few) MORE FEMALE COMPOUND ARCHERS!!!
My category (compound Open class Women's individual) used to be swamped by national archers. Erm... Actually, STILL is, but now there're a few more non-national ones added.
Gah... Because of my irregularity in training sessions and maybe some freak of nature while releasing the bowstring, history repeated itself. I missed the target 4 times, throwing away 40 points in all! *BLEARGH!*
But as for the times i did hit, the scores were all right i guess, averaging 8. Though what i really should be averaging is a 9, with mroe than a handful of 10s.
T'was all all right anyway.
(Especially when someone has very good Waterboy skills. *monkey grin*)
On sunday, we had the team events. My team got kicked out early but it was ok, since we lost by a relatively not-too-big margin, given that our opponents were darn good (one national archer included in their team).
During the first end (3 arrows per archer) for the team event, i was shaking away with the high adrenalin and nervousness. So... The score was like, 9, 7, 6. But later on, things looked up with 9,9,9 and 9,8,8 (not sure of the last end though, but it was around this score).
I love the pressure, the swiftness of the exchange from one archer to the next at the shooting line, the time that's ticking away, the whole routine of drawing, aiming and releasing.
WOOHOO!!!
Toodly doodly doo!
We had one powerhouse in my team. Hah, but i guess oh well, kinda neutralized out but neh mind. There'll always be other times. It was really really fun. I highly recommend indoor shoots.
After all my events were done with, i really wanted to get home cos i was feeling a little lethargic. But i decided to stick around since i liked just being around, and seeing bows, arrows, targets and my team mates.
We had lunch and being the GOOD, APPRECIATIVE, LAW ABIDING, citizen I AM, *teehee* i decided, ok lah, stay for prize presentation to support support a bit lah.
And whaddaya know?
6th! How about that?!
Ok lah. 6th out of 12 people isn't a big deal. But what makes me happy is, that the 5 above me were national archers from Singapore and Malaysia (d'oh! They're GOOD!) and i beat one national archer. So yeah. I is happy.
Good thing i stayed after lunch man. Heh heh.
I thought it was odd because usually, prizes are usually for either:
1st to 3rd and/or 1st to 5th.
My first archery related trophy after this third attempt at competing.
Of all the muscles i've worked in the past two days, none of the muscles exerted for shooting are aching.
My jaw muscles the ones aching... Due to furious chewing of gum. Heh. Eating now causes discomfort but as you all already know, i like muscle ache.
There's a lot more i want to say... But there's also a lot of school work waiting to be done so... Adious!
Till Then.
*Thank you LORD! Didn't quite expect the outcome, but yeap, thanks for the encouragement you gave in various ways.*
But you stayed on, to encourage in your quiet, sensitive, caring and self-sacrificing way.
(and enduring yabs and pokes from my team mates...!)
I don't know how else to thank you, but to let you know here, that every little kind gesture you showed spoke volumes to me.
Every single big and small thing that you did... From the moment i saw you, to the moment we parted.
Too many to name. ;-)
I really appreciate it all, very very much.
*** ***
Undeserving, unexpected and unbelievable.
- After 3 months of irregular practice, (2 weeks practice, 3 weeks MIA... cycle repeats again.),
- 2-3 days of actual practice at 18m to get the sighting right (the rest of the practices were at 15m)
- of hoping that i wouldn't finish up last again...
The NUS Indoor Shoot is over and i can now rest a little. The next competition is either the SAFSA shoot or the Pesta Sukan Shoot.
Both of which i think are outdoor events.
Being too close to the exams for my comfort, i most likely won't be taking part in both.
So, i am banking my hopes on DMArchery, that they'd have that year end indoor shoot again, like last year.
The first day of the competition (for the individual events), saturday, of the shoot was a glitch filled one, holding us back about 3+ hours more than what was planned. That probably got a lot of archers complaining.
The place was crowded! Loads of equipments lay all around the Multi Purpose Hall in NUS. There were those "instant set up chairs", archers from the assorted clubs and family members. Packed, packed, packed.
And you know what? My trigger release (you cannot shoot without it) went missing on the day itself. J saved the day with a superb brain surge on his part.
*OH HAIL J!!!*
Gosh! Panicked like mad and it made my team mates go kuku as well.
*OH HAIL J!!!*
When he came to me and said: "I've asked BC's friend already... Sure have one."
I almost died from relief.
*OH HAIL J!!!*
And guess what... BC's friend DID have an extra trigger. What's more, the trigger was of the EXACT same model as mine (except with a different strap), and better still.
The mechanism worked better than my own!
Tell me, God is Good, man...!
Despite the glitches, i still think that we archers were already blessed to have people plan the competition in the very first place so that we can compete.
Without them, how many others would willingly give up of their time and effort to organize and prepare for a competition?
Ok, so this IS an annual thing that NUS does all the time, but still! It requires their time, effort and resources.
I was sandwiched between two national archers, both of whom are sisters. Cute lah, the both of them. The younger sister, i think, tends to be the people-magnet one.
They're both real good and i hope that one day, they'll compete outside of Singapore.
There wasn't really much pressure, since it was simply doing something you love in air-con comfort (ok well, most would disagree here because we were all being grilled in the humid and warm Hall), at a reasonable distance of 18m.
It helped as well that THIS TIME, THERE ARE FINALLY (a few) MORE FEMALE COMPOUND ARCHERS!!!
My category (compound Open class Women's individual) used to be swamped by national archers. Erm... Actually, STILL is, but now there're a few more non-national ones added.
Gah... Because of my irregularity in training sessions and maybe some freak of nature while releasing the bowstring, history repeated itself. I missed the target 4 times, throwing away 40 points in all! *BLEARGH!*
But as for the times i did hit, the scores were all right i guess, averaging 8. Though what i really should be averaging is a 9, with mroe than a handful of 10s.
T'was all all right anyway.
(Especially when someone has very good Waterboy skills. *monkey grin*)
On sunday, we had the team events. My team got kicked out early but it was ok, since we lost by a relatively not-too-big margin, given that our opponents were darn good (one national archer included in their team).
During the first end (3 arrows per archer) for the team event, i was shaking away with the high adrenalin and nervousness. So... The score was like, 9, 7, 6. But later on, things looked up with 9,9,9 and 9,8,8 (not sure of the last end though, but it was around this score).
I love the pressure, the swiftness of the exchange from one archer to the next at the shooting line, the time that's ticking away, the whole routine of drawing, aiming and releasing.
WOOHOO!!!
Toodly doodly doo!
We had one powerhouse in my team. Hah, but i guess oh well, kinda neutralized out but neh mind. There'll always be other times. It was really really fun. I highly recommend indoor shoots.
After all my events were done with, i really wanted to get home cos i was feeling a little lethargic. But i decided to stick around since i liked just being around, and seeing bows, arrows, targets and my team mates.
We had lunch and being the GOOD, APPRECIATIVE, LAW ABIDING, citizen I AM, *teehee* i decided, ok lah, stay for prize presentation to support support a bit lah.
And whaddaya know?
6th! How about that?!
1.jpg)
Ok lah. 6th out of 12 people isn't a big deal. But what makes me happy is, that the 5 above me were national archers from Singapore and Malaysia (d'oh! They're GOOD!) and i beat one national archer. So yeah. I is happy.
Good thing i stayed after lunch man. Heh heh.
I thought it was odd because usually, prizes are usually for either:
1st to 3rd and/or 1st to 5th.
My first archery related trophy after this third attempt at competing.
Of all the muscles i've worked in the past two days, none of the muscles exerted for shooting are aching.
My jaw muscles the ones aching... Due to furious chewing of gum. Heh. Eating now causes discomfort but as you all already know, i like muscle ache.
There's a lot more i want to say... But there's also a lot of school work waiting to be done so... Adious!
Till Then.
*Thank you LORD! Didn't quite expect the outcome, but yeap, thanks for the encouragement you gave in various ways.*
Friday, June 17, 2005
mountain turtle goes to town
Note: Do click on the the "Comments" link even though it may look like it has not registered new comments. Haiyo... i DID say that i wanted to switch to the Blogger comment thingy, but... Technophobe does not know how to get rid of the Haloscan html because Technophobe FORGOT where she put the htmls in the template, to begin with.
*** ***
People, remember the time when someone i knew passed away from a bike accident?
Now, a childhood friend just lost half a leg because of the bike accident he was involved in. Apparently, his leg was caught in the bike and you could see bone and splayed flesh.
I believe i need not say anymore to drive in my point.
*** ***
This is one of the best pieces of advice to do with relationships, that i have ever come across:
"A man who has shown that he has loved before is a man who is capable of loving." ("Hello, Good Love!" by Coralyn Hizola)
We girls like to feel like we're the SPECIAL ONE, set apart from all the other relationships. We like to feel exclusive, that "he has never felt this way before" when he's with you.
But well, that can't always be achieved so... It's only realistic to accept the fact that if he has had past relationships that were loving and good, you're not the only one he has loved in his life.
However, because of the fact that he has proven that he CAN love, why not believe that he can also love you the same way too?
So girls, don't feel so bad if your guy has had a good past.
What matters is that both parties should move on in life in a positive way. And when seeking a relationship, it should be sought with a healthy perspective in mind.
Lessons should be learnt from both the mistakes AND the good points from the past.
The present is what matters.
If i had been mature enough to know this or come across this earlier, it would have saved me from a lot of bitterness.
*** ***
Walking in the town/business district area without a camera was my gripe today. BLEARGH! (ok, i had my k700i, but i'd much prefer my Powershot. Doh.)
After keyboard class in the evening, i had about an hour to burn before meeting my family for dinner.
And so taking my sister's directions on full trust, i started walking down the long winding street. I had no idea where i was heading really. But as usual, i have no qualms about doing the dunno-where-the-place-is-but-just-walk-anyway.
Done that many times before. It's like trusting yourself to find the place though you're not 100% sure you'll get there, but you just give yourself a fair chance to anyway.
After which when all else fails, you call up your friendly direction giver, or just ask the friendliest looking person where your destination is.
Along the way, you also get to take your time to explore, study and appreciate what's around you in your own time and in your own head.
Being alone helps because you're totally reliant on yourself and you get to self talk and analyse and discover some things about how you process your problems and thoughts as well.
While walking, i came across this building and thought: I Like. Ok, take photo.
Nothing too special can be seen here i think. But right there and then, it calling out to mua! I promise!
It WAS named, the "White House".
Outdoor fishy pond. Picture's a little crooked though.
I didn't need to look upwards for this shot.
Fishy invades building
*** ***
Alone, with something of a camera, in a sort-of-unknown place, with time to burn.
Ah, therapeutic. Melikes.
*** ***
People, remember the time when someone i knew passed away from a bike accident?
Now, a childhood friend just lost half a leg because of the bike accident he was involved in. Apparently, his leg was caught in the bike and you could see bone and splayed flesh.
I believe i need not say anymore to drive in my point.
*** ***
This is one of the best pieces of advice to do with relationships, that i have ever come across:
"A man who has shown that he has loved before is a man who is capable of loving." ("Hello, Good Love!" by Coralyn Hizola)
We girls like to feel like we're the SPECIAL ONE, set apart from all the other relationships. We like to feel exclusive, that "he has never felt this way before" when he's with you.
But well, that can't always be achieved so... It's only realistic to accept the fact that if he has had past relationships that were loving and good, you're not the only one he has loved in his life.
However, because of the fact that he has proven that he CAN love, why not believe that he can also love you the same way too?
So girls, don't feel so bad if your guy has had a good past.
What matters is that both parties should move on in life in a positive way. And when seeking a relationship, it should be sought with a healthy perspective in mind.
Lessons should be learnt from both the mistakes AND the good points from the past.
The present is what matters.
If i had been mature enough to know this or come across this earlier, it would have saved me from a lot of bitterness.
*** ***
Walking in the town/business district area without a camera was my gripe today. BLEARGH! (ok, i had my k700i, but i'd much prefer my Powershot. Doh.)
After keyboard class in the evening, i had about an hour to burn before meeting my family for dinner.
And so taking my sister's directions on full trust, i started walking down the long winding street. I had no idea where i was heading really. But as usual, i have no qualms about doing the dunno-where-the-place-is-but-just-walk-anyway.
Done that many times before. It's like trusting yourself to find the place though you're not 100% sure you'll get there, but you just give yourself a fair chance to anyway.
After which when all else fails, you call up your friendly direction giver, or just ask the friendliest looking person where your destination is.
Along the way, you also get to take your time to explore, study and appreciate what's around you in your own time and in your own head.
Being alone helps because you're totally reliant on yourself and you get to self talk and analyse and discover some things about how you process your problems and thoughts as well.
While walking, i came across this building and thought: I Like. Ok, take photo.
Nothing too special can be seen here i think. But right there and then, it calling out to mua! I promise!
It WAS named, the "White House".
Outdoor fishy pond. Picture's a little crooked though.
I didn't need to look upwards for this shot.
Fishy invades building
*** ***
Alone, with something of a camera, in a sort-of-unknown place, with time to burn.
Ah, therapeutic. Melikes.
Thursday, June 16, 2005
Haven't done this, haven't read that, haven't familiarized self with this and that topic, haven't planned for exam revision... GAH!!!
*collapses into a pile and sobs for about 10 seconds before dusting self and getting up again*
I am determined to maintain or get better results this year. And i cannot do that if i am actually MORE SLACK than last year!
From now on, i am going to have to decline 95% of any social outing offers. I just cannot keep up with it at this time of the year.
So people, i'm awful sorry if i can't make it for too many, or if any, meet-up dates. Because i'm going to be so screwed if i don't buck up RIGHT NOW.
*** ***
*** ***
*hwah hwah hwah hwah!!!*
Oh, how true.
*collapses into a pile and sobs for about 10 seconds before dusting self and getting up again*
I am determined to maintain or get better results this year. And i cannot do that if i am actually MORE SLACK than last year!
From now on, i am going to have to decline 95% of any social outing offers. I just cannot keep up with it at this time of the year.
So people, i'm awful sorry if i can't make it for too many, or if any, meet-up dates. Because i'm going to be so screwed if i don't buck up RIGHT NOW.
*** ***
You Are 35% Normal (Occasionally Normal) |
 You sure do march to your own beat... But you're so weird, people wonder if it's a beat at all You think on a totally different wavelength And it's often a chore to get people to understand you |
*** ***
*hwah hwah hwah hwah!!!*
Oh, how true.
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
SEA Games will happen at the end of this year and the compound bow events are ACTUALLY in! WOO! Hope those young guns from the women's compound team will have a good shot at this event.
I know they are a gifted bunch.
You know, it's weird reflecting on the time when i was THIS |<--->| close to having the opportunity to train for this SEA Games.
But well, well, politics and inefficiency rules the day so, toodles national team archery aspirations. I shoot for club and self.
I didn't believe in "slowly assimilating" myself into the team like some people did. I'd rather have things done officially and proper so that there is no question about where i stand.
*** ***
Did i come to you for the right reasons?
As i recall, i realize that what convinced me to a large degree to keep holding on to "us" during the tough times when i battled with doubt, was superficiality and surface merits, and just a slightly-less-than-reasonable sprinkling of appreciating who you were as a person.
But things're different today.
*** ***
Hm. Having one of those times when i'm feeling too much and have too little words to express these feelings.
And when i do finally type it out, i read it and find it too personal.
Bleargh.
Till Then.
*Lord, thank you for your abundant providence each and every day. Please don't let my heart grow cold.*
I know they are a gifted bunch.
You know, it's weird reflecting on the time when i was THIS |<--->| close to having the opportunity to train for this SEA Games.
But well, well, politics and inefficiency rules the day so, toodles national team archery aspirations. I shoot for club and self.
I didn't believe in "slowly assimilating" myself into the team like some people did. I'd rather have things done officially and proper so that there is no question about where i stand.
*** ***
Did i come to you for the right reasons?
As i recall, i realize that what convinced me to a large degree to keep holding on to "us" during the tough times when i battled with doubt, was superficiality and surface merits, and just a slightly-less-than-reasonable sprinkling of appreciating who you were as a person.
But things're different today.
*** ***
Hm. Having one of those times when i'm feeling too much and have too little words to express these feelings.
And when i do finally type it out, i read it and find it too personal.
Bleargh.
Till Then.
*Lord, thank you for your abundant providence each and every day. Please don't let my heart grow cold.*
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