I miss archery. My bow sits against the wall at the side of my room, just waiting for its mistress to take it out for a field trip.
Patience, my dear... You and i will go inhabit the outdoor range when the holidays roll over... When the national team leaves for the SEA Games, ah, then we shall have a good time, you and i.
I miss the drawing, the aiming and the power of the release and seeing my arrow land on the target with a... a... Hm, i've forgotten the sound already. ACK! I miss shooting.
Ah, patience.
*** ***
I am a walking concoction of emotions, and well, i gotta say they're all balancing themselves out.
I haven't much to blog really. Perhaps it's because i am happy. And being happy kind of erases the turmoil of thoughts and the processes themselves, so yeah. Here i am, talking about zilch, nada, null.
Was thinking of posting up a photo post, but again and again, i am reminded that i haven't gone on a photo trip yet. Think i will bring the camera along with me the next time i go out, just so that i can catch whatever that in turn catches my eye.
Wish i could shrink cumbersome items into Mini Me sizes and put them into a little pouch bag of sorts. Each time i need to use any one of them, all i'll have to do is pick it out, blow on it or something, then it's expand to its normal size, so that i can use it.
Things to do after the exams:
- go to the BEACH.
- Watch sunsets/sunrises.
- go on photo trips. (which includes exploring Singapore)
- get work.
- go to the zoo.
(hey! maybe, i should get work at the zoo, if they, er, want me. I have experience picking up poop everyday! Or maybe i'll work at the souvenir shop or something where i think they sell items at rip off prices...)
- shop.
- ARCHERY.
- Do all the routine exercise stuff i've been deprived of. I hate running but i miss it. (told you that i am mad) And hit the gym and pool!
(more later)
This list is here so that if i ever so much as utter that i have nothing to do, well, here's the pre-exam post-exam to-do list.
Trying to get into the rhythm of sleeping normally these days, which shouldn't be all that hard since i like to sleep.
Arrr, my eyes have been taking such a beating they don't deserve this year.
This is such a rubbishy, zero post. But it's going up anyway.
Oh and YEAAHHHH...
HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY ASPS!!! *muaaaakkk!*
Saturday, August 20, 2005
Thursday, August 18, 2005
Yesterday was a day of celebration... Because there was a glorious salvation! <--go see!
Now i understand what and how it feels like when you see a soul come to Christ, when you know for a fact that when someone chooses to walk with Christ, you know that Satan has no more hold on one more soul.
Did you know that when a soul comes to Christ, all the Heavens rejoice?
And oh, how we all rejoice along TOO!
An excerpt of a song that touched me some years ago:
"And you loved me, before I knew you
And you knew me for all time
I've been created in your image
Oh Lord
And you bought me and sought me
Your blood poured out for me
A new creation in your image oh Lord
You rescued me, you rescued me."
Now i understand what and how it feels like when you see a soul come to Christ, when you know for a fact that when someone chooses to walk with Christ, you know that Satan has no more hold on one more soul.
Did you know that when a soul comes to Christ, all the Heavens rejoice?
And oh, how we all rejoice along TOO!
An excerpt of a song that touched me some years ago:
"And you loved me, before I knew you
And you knew me for all time
I've been created in your image
Oh Lord
And you bought me and sought me
Your blood poured out for me
A new creation in your image oh Lord
You rescued me, you rescued me."
Monday, August 15, 2005
Boring talk of hair and non existent fashion.
Everytime i come to my page and see the same old post, i cringe because it's so stale. Ack. Here's a bimbotic post that was drafted in June.
Read only if you want your IQ to drop drastically below 100.
*** ***
My hair's a wild bush, safe for birds, including pelicans, to nestle in. I've always wanted to try straightening it or curling it, but you know, i'm quite a chicken when it comes to these things so i end up sticking to my natural waves.
Which in the end, i find that it's gotta be one of the most unique styles to have today, because like i said in a past post... How come suddenly all these chinese women sprout such exotic curly (or stick straight) hair?
It's gorgeous, but not to mention fake and not lasting anyway.
Ah but well, who wouldn't be up for a nice change anyway right? Nothing wrong with doing something new to your looks. As long as you don't get obsessed such that you cannot see yourself in any other hairdo but the artificial one.
I know of people who cannot revert back to their natural hair style because it'll clash with what they've got now. So, how? Keep rebonding lor. And mind you, it costs money. Care to continue rebonding for life? Hm.
If you're loaded then fine, but don't start crying and regretting when you find that your hair drops and all that jazz when you get older.
O.o Did i just say that?
The last time i checked, i was found to be just 2 decades old.
Anyway, it's not been too long ago that i've snipped off my final dyed bits of hair.
But i am so going to dye it again after my exams. Ok, only if i have enough dough.
Oh and did you know, that I am a closet "Wear-Your-Fashion-Loud-and-Proud" type. Heh heh. Betcha didn't guess right? Yeah, all my berms and boring repeated tops didn't give that away now, did they.
The Sims i created (you know, The Sims 2?) are the images of what i want to really look like, but if only i could summon the courage to. My created female character, Mikal Wolfe, has a uber cool mohawk, green eyes and wears dark lipstick and goes around clad in her sporty attire.
Hiak hiak.
But back to reality. I have neither time, money, the attention span nor that unexplainable enthusiastic female energy to *keep* "looking stereotypically attractive".
As i have said, I am the Epitome of Female Laziness. Ok, not that i go around willfully trying to emulate Chewbakka from Star Wars (but i am not far from that on any normal day).
I just make do with what i have and i don't try too hard to go out of my way to get "a certain look".
Besides, i believe in comfort in dressing. For example, wearing heels does not look comfortable nor has it ever gotten shining track records for doing your feet any wonders either.
Sure, the heels might accentuate the calve muscles and make you feel like a million bucks strutting around in it. Think i'll save that heel moment for strange vain occasions or for dinners, when i don't have to walk around a lot and can still feel like a million bucks when... I get up to go to the loo?
Now that i've come to think of it... I realize that each time i do bother to dress up a little (ok, the word is: When i do wear something That's-Actually-In-Fashion because i always wear stuff that's, er, from many seasons ago), i get people looking at me and i squirm uncomfortably inside.
I know that i haven't grown a second head but i keep wondering whether i'm missing something, or whether i'm wearing something inside out, or whether i remembered to zip my fly.
See? That shows how often i go around looking like a So-Chai (i quote my dear D), such that no one looks at me. Muah ha la. :-D
*** ***
For something entirely unrelated:
I want to go to Mustafa to get toiletries, which is something i've never done before.
Read only if you want your IQ to drop drastically below 100.
*** ***
My hair's a wild bush, safe for birds, including pelicans, to nestle in. I've always wanted to try straightening it or curling it, but you know, i'm quite a chicken when it comes to these things so i end up sticking to my natural waves.
Which in the end, i find that it's gotta be one of the most unique styles to have today, because like i said in a past post... How come suddenly all these chinese women sprout such exotic curly (or stick straight) hair?
It's gorgeous, but not to mention fake and not lasting anyway.
Ah but well, who wouldn't be up for a nice change anyway right? Nothing wrong with doing something new to your looks. As long as you don't get obsessed such that you cannot see yourself in any other hairdo but the artificial one.
I know of people who cannot revert back to their natural hair style because it'll clash with what they've got now. So, how? Keep rebonding lor. And mind you, it costs money. Care to continue rebonding for life? Hm.
If you're loaded then fine, but don't start crying and regretting when you find that your hair drops and all that jazz when you get older.
O.o Did i just say that?
The last time i checked, i was found to be just 2 decades old.
Anyway, it's not been too long ago that i've snipped off my final dyed bits of hair.
But i am so going to dye it again after my exams. Ok, only if i have enough dough.
Oh and did you know, that I am a closet "Wear-Your-Fashion-Loud-and-Proud" type. Heh heh. Betcha didn't guess right? Yeah, all my berms and boring repeated tops didn't give that away now, did they.
The Sims i created (you know, The Sims 2?) are the images of what i want to really look like, but if only i could summon the courage to. My created female character, Mikal Wolfe, has a uber cool mohawk, green eyes and wears dark lipstick and goes around clad in her sporty attire.
Hiak hiak.
But back to reality. I have neither time, money, the attention span nor that unexplainable enthusiastic female energy to *keep* "looking stereotypically attractive".
As i have said, I am the Epitome of Female Laziness. Ok, not that i go around willfully trying to emulate Chewbakka from Star Wars (but i am not far from that on any normal day).
I just make do with what i have and i don't try too hard to go out of my way to get "a certain look".
Besides, i believe in comfort in dressing. For example, wearing heels does not look comfortable nor has it ever gotten shining track records for doing your feet any wonders either.
Sure, the heels might accentuate the calve muscles and make you feel like a million bucks strutting around in it. Think i'll save that heel moment for strange vain occasions or for dinners, when i don't have to walk around a lot and can still feel like a million bucks when... I get up to go to the loo?
Now that i've come to think of it... I realize that each time i do bother to dress up a little (ok, the word is: When i do wear something That's-Actually-In-Fashion because i always wear stuff that's, er, from many seasons ago), i get people looking at me and i squirm uncomfortably inside.
I know that i haven't grown a second head but i keep wondering whether i'm missing something, or whether i'm wearing something inside out, or whether i remembered to zip my fly.
See? That shows how often i go around looking like a So-Chai (i quote my dear D), such that no one looks at me. Muah ha la. :-D
*** ***
For something entirely unrelated:
I want to go to Mustafa to get toiletries, which is something i've never done before.
Friday, August 12, 2005
Do my 2 mistakes (or maybe in your psychologically sanctified and baptized eyes my mistakes are on par with moral crimes), warrant such a punishment? To get 2 whole grades down, to almost a near FAIL?
You yourself made no small amount of positive feedback and even agree on the big improvement, and this is what I get? For all my freaking effort?
Do you think it's easy to sit back and tell myself that it's all right?
Do you think it's easy to keep such effort up when you keep shooting me down again and again, and what with your acerbic words as well?
You don't know anything about what's been going on behind the scenes so don't you even dare assume your way through and simply put people down face flat in the mud.
And we're your STUDENTS, for GOODNESS SAKE.
This isn't the first time.
I cannot wait to get out of your class. Good riddance.
You're so sadistic, i could almost love you.
You yourself made no small amount of positive feedback and even agree on the big improvement, and this is what I get? For all my freaking effort?
Do you think it's easy to sit back and tell myself that it's all right?
Do you think it's easy to keep such effort up when you keep shooting me down again and again, and what with your acerbic words as well?
You don't know anything about what's been going on behind the scenes so don't you even dare assume your way through and simply put people down face flat in the mud.
And we're your STUDENTS, for GOODNESS SAKE.
This isn't the first time.
I cannot wait to get out of your class. Good riddance.
You're so sadistic, i could almost love you.
Thursday, August 11, 2005
I feel like...
Tearing my hair out, then drilling an opening around my skull, flipping it open, pointing a stun gun at my brain, pressing the zap button a few times, smile a toothy smile, putting the stun gun down, taking out my brain, looking at it, giving it a few hard knocks on the table (it's ok if it squishes a little), playing basketball with the brain (it's ok if it mashes up a little), then plopping it back into half opened skull, zapping it a few more times with the stun gun, closing back the skull lid and sewing back the skin of my head.
I want to...
Have a button appear in front of me, or an arm of someone, preferably something press-able.
So that i can poke at it constantly with my index finger. As you can speculate, i'm feeling tremendously restless at the moment.
I need to...
Run into open arms right now and receive a huge, warm, tight hug. I am not usually open to hugs so this is definitely exceptionally queer.
Maybe i should just...
Go and run to expend this energy and to clear my mind.
I am ok, really.
I just want/NEEEED to get down to studying for my end year exams. But i cannot do that with more assignments coming up and giving me an amoeba sized amount of time to study.
Tearing my hair out, then drilling an opening around my skull, flipping it open, pointing a stun gun at my brain, pressing the zap button a few times, smile a toothy smile, putting the stun gun down, taking out my brain, looking at it, giving it a few hard knocks on the table (it's ok if it squishes a little), playing basketball with the brain (it's ok if it mashes up a little), then plopping it back into half opened skull, zapping it a few more times with the stun gun, closing back the skull lid and sewing back the skin of my head.
I want to...
Have a button appear in front of me, or an arm of someone, preferably something press-able.
So that i can poke at it constantly with my index finger. As you can speculate, i'm feeling tremendously restless at the moment.
I need to...
Run into open arms right now and receive a huge, warm, tight hug. I am not usually open to hugs so this is definitely exceptionally queer.
Maybe i should just...
Go and run to expend this energy and to clear my mind.
I am ok, really.
I just want/NEEEED to get down to studying for my end year exams. But i cannot do that with more assignments coming up and giving me an amoeba sized amount of time to study.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
One of the reasons why my past relationship messed up big time was because of immaturity and another was because man, i delved in too deep with the questions.
After reading a number of her posts, i see that common trait we share... And that is, Jealousy.
Well, because i don't want to cut and paste and well, get horribly flamed for plagiarism, here's Finicky Feline's Post on Ex-Girlfriends.
(oh, if she updated her blog, then just look for the post entitled "Ex-girlfriends", which shouldn't be too far down.)
I know i stand by the truth and nothing else ever appeases the heart and mind, but truth. So, while she says that guys should just say those pleasing words despite how he really feels...
That's where i don't quite agree.
(however...)
- Because i admit to be the jealous sort... I would still love to get those *ahem* recommended answers from the future dude if those questions ever leave my mouth...
- Honestly? I was inwardly CHEERING her on as the words rolled on by. Guys, you don't know what kind of dynamite lies under our feminine exterior!!! *ROARR!!!* *unsheathes sharpened claws*
BUUUTTTT!!!!!
He shouldn't say those things just so that he can be let off the hook, but the basis on which those replies stem from should really be because he has REALLY dealt with ALL the skeletons in the closet
So that when he finally answers...
He can, YES, freely give me that big fat answer (i quote from her) "YOU, OF COURSE." and "NO" (with respect to the questions), with all the confidence, assurance and honesty, with no hint of the fishy and stale secrets still stashed and left behind somewhere.
*** ***
Realistically speaking, is it ever possible to fully get over someone you've loved before, given that the break up wasn't a "if i don't leave you now, i'm so going to murder you" type.
Perhaps i am selfish and still immature...?
Or maybe i'm the type who just needs a lot of emotional support and assurance. I, for one, know that i am no bundle of steel nerves when it comes to matters of the heart.
But the most realistic scenario that my tendency-to-jealousy-heart can allow, is that...
It's ok to keep memories of the ex, but it's NOT ok to keep the ex in the heart.
Look, if you're truly in love with someone else, i don't see why the ex should linger around in the heart. It's definitely not a good sign and that alone has implications.
And if there're still issues unsolved, please don't go and break someone else's heart by clinging onto the relationship but harbouring all the things from the past.
You ought to be shot if you do that.
This world has enough pain festering all around already.
*** ***
Funny how girls can get sooo riled up about the other girl, in cases where they don't even know each other.
(girlfriends disliking ex-girlfriends and vice versa)
I don't want to sound self-righteous but frankly, ever since getting over history, i've kept telling myself that if i ever get to meet the ex's girlfriend, i shall die-die be nice to her and die-die be happy for him. It's probably going to be a teeth gnashing effort but hey, that's how i think it should be.
*** ***
By the way, i am *raising my eyebrow* over this oddness of receiving Birthday wishes that're meant for the country.
Eg. Happy National Day to you!
Okok, i know, we're all in this nation together, and we're all contributing in some way, so by right, we all are part of this birthday celebration.
(as the sissy says: Well, you could think of it as, why people wish each other "Merry Christmas".)
Ok... Imagine though, your friends coming up to your mom and dad and saying: "Happy Birthday!"
On YOUR birthday.
*hmm...* Is there something wrong with that analogy? Sounds a little strange.
Hah, me's never good at analogies.
After reading a number of her posts, i see that common trait we share... And that is, Jealousy.
Well, because i don't want to cut and paste and well, get horribly flamed for plagiarism, here's Finicky Feline's Post on Ex-Girlfriends.
(oh, if she updated her blog, then just look for the post entitled "Ex-girlfriends", which shouldn't be too far down.)
I know i stand by the truth and nothing else ever appeases the heart and mind, but truth. So, while she says that guys should just say those pleasing words despite how he really feels...
That's where i don't quite agree.
(however...)
- Because i admit to be the jealous sort... I would still love to get those *ahem* recommended answers from the future dude if those questions ever leave my mouth...
- Honestly? I was inwardly CHEERING her on as the words rolled on by. Guys, you don't know what kind of dynamite lies under our feminine exterior!!! *ROARR!!!* *unsheathes sharpened claws*
BUUUTTTT!!!!!
He shouldn't say those things just so that he can be let off the hook, but the basis on which those replies stem from should really be because he has REALLY dealt with ALL the skeletons in the closet
So that when he finally answers...
He can, YES, freely give me that big fat answer (i quote from her) "YOU, OF COURSE." and "NO" (with respect to the questions), with all the confidence, assurance and honesty, with no hint of the fishy and stale secrets still stashed and left behind somewhere.
*** ***
Realistically speaking, is it ever possible to fully get over someone you've loved before, given that the break up wasn't a "if i don't leave you now, i'm so going to murder you" type.
Perhaps i am selfish and still immature...?
Or maybe i'm the type who just needs a lot of emotional support and assurance. I, for one, know that i am no bundle of steel nerves when it comes to matters of the heart.
But the most realistic scenario that my tendency-to-jealousy-heart can allow, is that...
It's ok to keep memories of the ex, but it's NOT ok to keep the ex in the heart.
Look, if you're truly in love with someone else, i don't see why the ex should linger around in the heart. It's definitely not a good sign and that alone has implications.
And if there're still issues unsolved, please don't go and break someone else's heart by clinging onto the relationship but harbouring all the things from the past.
You ought to be shot if you do that.
This world has enough pain festering all around already.
*** ***
Funny how girls can get sooo riled up about the other girl, in cases where they don't even know each other.
(girlfriends disliking ex-girlfriends and vice versa)
I don't want to sound self-righteous but frankly, ever since getting over history, i've kept telling myself that if i ever get to meet the ex's girlfriend, i shall die-die be nice to her and die-die be happy for him. It's probably going to be a teeth gnashing effort but hey, that's how i think it should be.
*** ***
By the way, i am *raising my eyebrow* over this oddness of receiving Birthday wishes that're meant for the country.
Eg. Happy National Day to you!
Okok, i know, we're all in this nation together, and we're all contributing in some way, so by right, we all are part of this birthday celebration.
(as the sissy says: Well, you could think of it as, why people wish each other "Merry Christmas".)
Ok... Imagine though, your friends coming up to your mom and dad and saying: "Happy Birthday!"
On YOUR birthday.
*hmm...* Is there something wrong with that analogy? Sounds a little strange.
Hah, me's never good at analogies.
Never seek just the gifts, for gifts can only satisfy us to some degree. And the effect we get from gifts can be temporary, making us happy but only for a while before they become tiresome or lose its novelty.
Gifts are given, and by the same token, they can be taken away.
But the worse thing is, that the gifts can cloud the true reason why the gifts were given in the first place.
And i've been guilty of this, being satisfied IN the gifts that i've been blessed with. I allowed the gifts to obscure my vision, been so involved in enjoying the gifts that my line of sight deviated from the Giver.
I've come to realize how meaningless it is to take and receive without continuing close ties with God.
Sure, the gifts are wonderful. But what is more wonderful is the Giver and everything that He stands for.
Speaking from my own experience, i wish to truly say that when the focus revolves around the gifts, a feeling of emptiness pervades.
*** ***
With a double clang as the key was turned, the gate opened and soon after, the heavy wooden door swung open to reveal and frame a tired Daddy who had just returned home from an overseas trip.
"Hi Everyone!"
Dad stepped into the living room, and unloaded his shoulders and hands from the cumbersome luggage before turning back around to lock the door.
Despite his tiredness, his eyes had lit up when he saw his family safe and sound at home, going about their usual business.
"Hey, dad's home!"
His two daughters, upon hearing the door open and dad's voice, stopped what they were doing and dashed to the front door to see daddy and... What goodies daddy might've bought back from Japan for them.
"See what i've got for you? It's all in the bag." He said, as he takes off his shoes and socks and points to the navy blue bag that sat next to his luggage.
In a blink of an eye, his two beloved children, the two gems in his life, whom he had lovingly thought of while he was away, made a beeline for the bag. And in a jiffy, with bright eyes fixed upon the goody bag and with great excitement, they took off to one bedroom to divide the stash among themselves.
Dad looked on, as they disappeared around the corner, with love in his eyes and heart, but yet with sadness too. He knew that his children were just behaving as children would.
Caring for themselves, seeing just the gifts and overlooking the love and intentions behind the gift giving.
"One day, they'll come to see. One day, they'll come to understand."
He thinks. And he hopes.
*** ***
Instead of being won over by the blessings, count them. Count your blessings and gifts, appreciate them and turn to the Giver with a heart of thanks and gratitude.
Instead of letting these gifts burn the connecting ties, let these gifts draw one closer to the Giver.
Let the gifts be a reminder of the Giver's love and faithfulness and remind us of who we really should be searching for.
*** ***
Thank you...
For that chance to flourish some 40 years ago.
For freedom of worship.
For freedom from poverty.
For a good, clean government.
For compulsory education.
For a safe environment.
For good ties with other countries.
What else can we be thankful for?
Happy Birthday Singapore.
Gifts are given, and by the same token, they can be taken away.
But the worse thing is, that the gifts can cloud the true reason why the gifts were given in the first place.
And i've been guilty of this, being satisfied IN the gifts that i've been blessed with. I allowed the gifts to obscure my vision, been so involved in enjoying the gifts that my line of sight deviated from the Giver.
I've come to realize how meaningless it is to take and receive without continuing close ties with God.
Sure, the gifts are wonderful. But what is more wonderful is the Giver and everything that He stands for.
Speaking from my own experience, i wish to truly say that when the focus revolves around the gifts, a feeling of emptiness pervades.
*** ***
With a double clang as the key was turned, the gate opened and soon after, the heavy wooden door swung open to reveal and frame a tired Daddy who had just returned home from an overseas trip.
"Hi Everyone!"
Dad stepped into the living room, and unloaded his shoulders and hands from the cumbersome luggage before turning back around to lock the door.
Despite his tiredness, his eyes had lit up when he saw his family safe and sound at home, going about their usual business.
"Hey, dad's home!"
His two daughters, upon hearing the door open and dad's voice, stopped what they were doing and dashed to the front door to see daddy and... What goodies daddy might've bought back from Japan for them.
"See what i've got for you? It's all in the bag." He said, as he takes off his shoes and socks and points to the navy blue bag that sat next to his luggage.
In a blink of an eye, his two beloved children, the two gems in his life, whom he had lovingly thought of while he was away, made a beeline for the bag. And in a jiffy, with bright eyes fixed upon the goody bag and with great excitement, they took off to one bedroom to divide the stash among themselves.
Dad looked on, as they disappeared around the corner, with love in his eyes and heart, but yet with sadness too. He knew that his children were just behaving as children would.
Caring for themselves, seeing just the gifts and overlooking the love and intentions behind the gift giving.
"One day, they'll come to see. One day, they'll come to understand."
He thinks. And he hopes.
*** ***
Instead of being won over by the blessings, count them. Count your blessings and gifts, appreciate them and turn to the Giver with a heart of thanks and gratitude.
Instead of letting these gifts burn the connecting ties, let these gifts draw one closer to the Giver.
Let the gifts be a reminder of the Giver's love and faithfulness and remind us of who we really should be searching for.
*** ***
Thank you...
For that chance to flourish some 40 years ago.
For freedom of worship.
For freedom from poverty.
For a good, clean government.
For compulsory education.
For a safe environment.
For good ties with other countries.
What else can we be thankful for?
Happy Birthday Singapore.
Sunday, August 07, 2005
*looks around*
Ah... Haven't blogged in... 3 days? I know that isn't a lot, but even i get bored with seeing my own previous post sitting there staring back at me.
Oh, i do love comments and so, a big thank you to the readers who have been so nice as to liven up this blog with your opinions and experiences.
*Hooray to you from mua!*
*** ***
I just don't know what to do with myself!
I am... frustrated, happy, dreamy, procrastinating, tired, energetic, lazy, panicking, hopeful, waiting, disappointed, seeking, shoving away sad thoughts... What else?
I'm a whole jumble of states of mind and body.
And it's causing this gloomy cloud to hang over me. But, no matter. I shall proclaim myself mentally sound to deal with all of these little bug bears.
*** ***
Had a little chat session with my worship leader/pastor today, and i've got to say that she's so down to Earth, so tactful, so lovable and loving, so intelligent, and so unpretentious. Gotta love her!
All seems to be looking good with respect to my route in the music ministry. Though i think i won't yet state the options that are being proposed because it's not been solidified yet. That said, i'd have to concede that the currently presented options are looking pretty good.
YAY! I will finally be moving forward in the worship ministry in a way which, at the moment, seems to be the best way to express my worship and service unto the Lord.
Have always wanted to do something worth the while, to honour God with what i've been blessed with. I never really made a move about it because i either never felt part of the church community to go forward to serve, or because i was just stubborn.
All that changed when i joined my current cell group (you guys are the best!) and somehow, with a little encouragement and persuasion, with prayer and consideration, i decided to take the plunge. And so here i am, starting out on a new route in my life, in addition to the ones i'm already walking on.
Till the time when God calls me to serve in another area, if ever, music ministry it shall be.
I think i'm really going to love doing my part to serve. Ladeeda...!
In all my 2 decades of existence, i've never played in bands, other than the conductor-stand-in-front type of band. But now, i'm going to be playing with a drummer, electric guitarists and vocalists.
How new! How exciting! How dynamic! How... Odd!
But i think i'm going to enjoy this. Hooray! Woodlee doo!
*** ***
Will update when/if i can. Strange feeling of having loads in life to talk about, but also, having so few words to tell the world.
Ah... Haven't blogged in... 3 days? I know that isn't a lot, but even i get bored with seeing my own previous post sitting there staring back at me.
Oh, i do love comments and so, a big thank you to the readers who have been so nice as to liven up this blog with your opinions and experiences.
*Hooray to you from mua!*
*** ***
I just don't know what to do with myself!
I am... frustrated, happy, dreamy, procrastinating, tired, energetic, lazy, panicking, hopeful, waiting, disappointed, seeking, shoving away sad thoughts... What else?
I'm a whole jumble of states of mind and body.
And it's causing this gloomy cloud to hang over me. But, no matter. I shall proclaim myself mentally sound to deal with all of these little bug bears.
*** ***
Had a little chat session with my worship leader/pastor today, and i've got to say that she's so down to Earth, so tactful, so lovable and loving, so intelligent, and so unpretentious. Gotta love her!
All seems to be looking good with respect to my route in the music ministry. Though i think i won't yet state the options that are being proposed because it's not been solidified yet. That said, i'd have to concede that the currently presented options are looking pretty good.
YAY! I will finally be moving forward in the worship ministry in a way which, at the moment, seems to be the best way to express my worship and service unto the Lord.
Have always wanted to do something worth the while, to honour God with what i've been blessed with. I never really made a move about it because i either never felt part of the church community to go forward to serve, or because i was just stubborn.
All that changed when i joined my current cell group (you guys are the best!) and somehow, with a little encouragement and persuasion, with prayer and consideration, i decided to take the plunge. And so here i am, starting out on a new route in my life, in addition to the ones i'm already walking on.
Till the time when God calls me to serve in another area, if ever, music ministry it shall be.
I think i'm really going to love doing my part to serve. Ladeeda...!
In all my 2 decades of existence, i've never played in bands, other than the conductor-stand-in-front type of band. But now, i'm going to be playing with a drummer, electric guitarists and vocalists.
How new! How exciting! How dynamic! How... Odd!
But i think i'm going to enjoy this. Hooray! Woodlee doo!
*** ***
Will update when/if i can. Strange feeling of having loads in life to talk about, but also, having so few words to tell the world.
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Wa Raow...
I've been having dreams (yes, the dreams-that-occur-during-sleep kind) about me owning my own soprano saxophone and being one happy camper.
See what happens when you allow Jo to sample-play a soprano saxophone for only a few seconds?!
Having me OWN soprano saxophone?
IN MY DREAMS AH! (literally... *wistful sigh while plonking chin on upturned palm*)
Yes. In my waking hours, at the back of my mind, i've been savouring (replaying) its unique sound, the controlling of the embouchure so as not to "squeak!", its smooth polished body, and golden sheen...
Ooohhh...
Perfectly enthralling.
It's been going on for days, and it doesn't help that a spiffy looking saxophone catalogue sits very strategically on my table such that i'll see it when i walk into my room.
As much as they say that the student's life is said to be the best and most enjoyable part of life, i am, too, looking forwad to the day when i can really earn and be responsible for my own cash.
How i will need to learn to budget, invest, save and spend responsibly.
Hopefully, when the finances allow and if it's appropriate, i will one day be able to save up enough to get that dream wind instrument. (Oh, and i am still hoping to get a digital piano too.)
I miss playing that saxy thang.
I think i shall do a line up of all the musical instruments in the house and post a picture, just for fun. :-)
Back in primary school, i was assigned to play theugliest biggest instrument around in the concert band (not including the percussion instruments) and that was the tuba.
But i was secretly infatuated with the flute.
The tuba was large, cumbersome and so very unglam, i thought, at that time. I was always dreaming of playing the flute, and i always thought with envy about how they always get to play the melodies of all the songs.
I even went so far as to think that those instruments that got to play along with the flutes during the more transparent portions of a song was PRIVILEGED and held in high regard!
What a silly poot i was.
Then came a time when i couldn't take it anymore and i wasn't very happy in the band and so i brought it up with the teacher in charge. She was really nice about it, but sadly, i was told that if i were to switch, i can only transfer to the trombone section.
Nah, i thought.
But i soon gained a better understanding of the importance of having THEE bass in the band, because hey, without it, you can twitter all you like, but you're going to sound empty without mua. Hohoho.
All that changed when i stepped into secondary school and got the opportunity to choose what i'd like to play. I grabbed the chance and as they always say, the rest is history... 6 years of devotion to the alto saxophone (sec sch and JC).
Not the flute. ;-P
I don't quite know why i didn't pick the flute. Either because there were enough musicians in the flute section or perhaps it really was just an infatuation, in every sense.
(actually, i did try again for the flute in JC. I played with the flute section for a while only to discover that i totally sucked. Buah haha. It WAS a humbling experience. So it was back to the good old Sax. Ah, familiarity.)
I can't tell you which i prefer, the alto or soprano, i love em both. But i think that the desire for the soprano stems from the fact that i can handle it (as opposed to the Tenor and Baritone) and it's novel to me. And i also think that because of media exposure, it's more solo friendly.
Though eventually, i think my love for both will take over my pocket...
Ironically, i own a flute this day, but as for the saxophone...
Oh Honey, i'll come get you soon. I promise.
Picture was taken from: www.musicgroup.com
(Soprano Saxophone)
I've been having dreams (yes, the dreams-that-occur-during-sleep kind) about me owning my own soprano saxophone and being one happy camper.
See what happens when you allow Jo to sample-play a soprano saxophone for only a few seconds?!
Having me OWN soprano saxophone?
IN MY DREAMS AH! (literally... *wistful sigh while plonking chin on upturned palm*)
Yes. In my waking hours, at the back of my mind, i've been savouring (replaying) its unique sound, the controlling of the embouchure so as not to "squeak!", its smooth polished body, and golden sheen...
Ooohhh...
Perfectly enthralling.
It's been going on for days, and it doesn't help that a spiffy looking saxophone catalogue sits very strategically on my table such that i'll see it when i walk into my room.
As much as they say that the student's life is said to be the best and most enjoyable part of life, i am, too, looking forwad to the day when i can really earn and be responsible for my own cash.
How i will need to learn to budget, invest, save and spend responsibly.
Hopefully, when the finances allow and if it's appropriate, i will one day be able to save up enough to get that dream wind instrument. (Oh, and i am still hoping to get a digital piano too.)
I miss playing that saxy thang.
I think i shall do a line up of all the musical instruments in the house and post a picture, just for fun. :-)
Back in primary school, i was assigned to play the
But i was secretly infatuated with the flute.
The tuba was large, cumbersome and so very unglam, i thought, at that time. I was always dreaming of playing the flute, and i always thought with envy about how they always get to play the melodies of all the songs.
I even went so far as to think that those instruments that got to play along with the flutes during the more transparent portions of a song was PRIVILEGED and held in high regard!
What a silly poot i was.
Then came a time when i couldn't take it anymore and i wasn't very happy in the band and so i brought it up with the teacher in charge. She was really nice about it, but sadly, i was told that if i were to switch, i can only transfer to the trombone section.
Nah, i thought.
But i soon gained a better understanding of the importance of having THEE bass in the band, because hey, without it, you can twitter all you like, but you're going to sound empty without mua. Hohoho.
All that changed when i stepped into secondary school and got the opportunity to choose what i'd like to play. I grabbed the chance and as they always say, the rest is history... 6 years of devotion to the alto saxophone (sec sch and JC).
Not the flute. ;-P
I don't quite know why i didn't pick the flute. Either because there were enough musicians in the flute section or perhaps it really was just an infatuation, in every sense.
(actually, i did try again for the flute in JC. I played with the flute section for a while only to discover that i totally sucked. Buah haha. It WAS a humbling experience. So it was back to the good old Sax. Ah, familiarity.)
I can't tell you which i prefer, the alto or soprano, i love em both. But i think that the desire for the soprano stems from the fact that i can handle it (as opposed to the Tenor and Baritone) and it's novel to me. And i also think that because of media exposure, it's more solo friendly.
Though eventually, i think my love for both will take over my pocket...
Ironically, i own a flute this day, but as for the saxophone...
Oh Honey, i'll come get you soon. I promise.
Picture was taken from: www.musicgroup.com(Soprano Saxophone)
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Somewhere, in a not so distant land, something unpleasant is happening and it's a precarious situation. It's tugging at the heart of someone dear to me and so it looks like she's going to leave us sooner than i had hoped.
I'm trying to occupy my mind with happier thoughts, the plus points and the reasons that justify why it is all right that she should leave. But amidst that itself, i am also trying to keep in mind, the fact that the chances of her return is close to zero.
I am thinking of everything else, just so that my mind wouldn't pick up on that emotionally touchy issue, that sore, sore point, because i know that once i begin to mull over it, it will immediately dissolve me into tears.
It can't be right. Dealing with pain by shoving it away. I'm suppose to face it squarely right?
I think it's all this pride i have. Crap. I should learn how to not be afraid to cry freely in front of people when i can't hold it back anymore. (of course when appropriate lah.)
Shoot, i should learn how to be less reserved about letting myself look silly/ugly, because it means that someone else will see and know and feel that they are loved and will be missed.
Sometimes, words are just not enough you know?
Goodbye, So long, Farewell, AG. Thank you for the past 15 years that you've been here with us. We've been through so much together, and you've become like a sister to me, and i am so grateful for all the things you've done for us and for all the sacrifices you've made.
For all these years, you've been here to take care of us, doing a million and one things around the house that we've taken for granted from time to time.
You've seen me grow up from the time when i was a mere primary 1 school going kid to the young adult that i am today. For everything that you have done, i want to say: "Thank You".
God Bless and may the Lord keep you. I will miss you loads.
I'm trying to occupy my mind with happier thoughts, the plus points and the reasons that justify why it is all right that she should leave. But amidst that itself, i am also trying to keep in mind, the fact that the chances of her return is close to zero.
I am thinking of everything else, just so that my mind wouldn't pick up on that emotionally touchy issue, that sore, sore point, because i know that once i begin to mull over it, it will immediately dissolve me into tears.
It can't be right. Dealing with pain by shoving it away. I'm suppose to face it squarely right?
I think it's all this pride i have. Crap. I should learn how to not be afraid to cry freely in front of people when i can't hold it back anymore. (of course when appropriate lah.)
Shoot, i should learn how to be less reserved about letting myself look silly/ugly, because it means that someone else will see and know and feel that they are loved and will be missed.
Sometimes, words are just not enough you know?
Goodbye, So long, Farewell, AG. Thank you for the past 15 years that you've been here with us. We've been through so much together, and you've become like a sister to me, and i am so grateful for all the things you've done for us and for all the sacrifices you've made.
For all these years, you've been here to take care of us, doing a million and one things around the house that we've taken for granted from time to time.
You've seen me grow up from the time when i was a mere primary 1 school going kid to the young adult that i am today. For everything that you have done, i want to say: "Thank You".
God Bless and may the Lord keep you. I will miss you loads.
Monday, August 01, 2005
HELLLOOOOOOOOO EVERYONE!!!!!!! (felt like saying that. it feels like ages since i last blogged though it's only been... 3 days?)
Thanks for all your replies pertaining to the previous post. Appreciate all your input and i respect your views. :-)
(to some of ya'll: i left you a reply after yours but you haven't replied back leh! Ok ok lah, but i understand that if it's probing in too deep, than i will drop the subject.)
*** ***
This is a picture of Jed trying to sleep on a miniature arm chair. He's kind of squished behind mummy (he insists on occupying the space between our butts and the backrest).
His little wee head poking out like that was just too cute not to snap a photo.
Mummy grows Jed's rightful devil horns. He's my little devilish angel.
Had we known his character earlier, we'd have called him "Bandit", so says my sister.
*** ***
Saturday was both nerve wrecking (because I is social wallflower) and pleasant because i finally got to meet the friends (a large group, mind you) in the flesh. Putting names to faces and HAH! Good thing i did my homework even before i got to study them on your lappie. *wink*
So, it wasn't TOO much of an information overload.
They sure are a totally hilarious group, tickling the funny bone, all with the right frequency. I'm MORE THAN glad, i am mortally RELIEVED that we managed to get off with just a few harmless, non-controversial photos.
Yay! *muah hahaha*
(yes, i heard a few chants for a forfeit... Did you?)
*** ***
And finally, a "proper-sit-down-and-eat" birthday dinner with my library gang Ring Leader, XH, on sunday evening. It's always wonderful to meet up with my girls and just yabber all our nonsense and pains, basically getting the latest scoop on each of our lives.
Haiya, but the presence of guys tend to put a stopper or ok, maybe a filter, on our mouths, because when we want to talk about the private stuff, we can't because it's OBVIOUS that the guys are going to be the topic of discussion!
Don't get mua wrong, it's great having the guys around and they ARE a great addition, but you know, girls need girl talk time right? Right?!
OH WELL. I think this calls for a conspiracy... *rubs palms and thinks*
Anyway, it's coming to 5 years of friendship for us and i must say, Thank you God for placing such people in my life. It hardly feels like a day has passed since we've left ACJC almost 3 years ago and the friendship and bonds remain strong despite not being able to see each other often.
Love how we can still come together and blabber. Time didn't dilute anything.
*** ***
I am so cramped with work that i could go chew/chomp on a tree branch to deal with the pain.
Thanks for all your replies pertaining to the previous post. Appreciate all your input and i respect your views. :-)
(to some of ya'll: i left you a reply after yours but you haven't replied back leh! Ok ok lah, but i understand that if it's probing in too deep, than i will drop the subject.)
*** ***
This is a picture of Jed trying to sleep on a miniature arm chair. He's kind of squished behind mummy (he insists on occupying the space between our butts and the backrest).
His little wee head poking out like that was just too cute not to snap a photo.
Mummy grows Jed's rightful devil horns. He's my little devilish angel.Had we known his character earlier, we'd have called him "Bandit", so says my sister.
*** ***
Saturday was both nerve wrecking (because I is social wallflower) and pleasant because i finally got to meet the friends (a large group, mind you) in the flesh. Putting names to faces and HAH! Good thing i did my homework even before i got to study them on your lappie. *wink*
So, it wasn't TOO much of an information overload.
They sure are a totally hilarious group, tickling the funny bone, all with the right frequency. I'm MORE THAN glad, i am mortally RELIEVED that we managed to get off with just a few harmless, non-controversial photos.
Yay! *muah hahaha*
(yes, i heard a few chants for a forfeit... Did you?)
*** ***
And finally, a "proper-sit-down-and-eat" birthday dinner with my library gang Ring Leader, XH, on sunday evening. It's always wonderful to meet up with my girls and just yabber all our nonsense and pains, basically getting the latest scoop on each of our lives.
Haiya, but the presence of guys tend to put a stopper or ok, maybe a filter, on our mouths, because when we want to talk about the private stuff, we can't because it's OBVIOUS that the guys are going to be the topic of discussion!
Don't get mua wrong, it's great having the guys around and they ARE a great addition, but you know, girls need girl talk time right? Right?!
OH WELL. I think this calls for a conspiracy... *rubs palms and thinks*
Anyway, it's coming to 5 years of friendship for us and i must say, Thank you God for placing such people in my life. It hardly feels like a day has passed since we've left ACJC almost 3 years ago and the friendship and bonds remain strong despite not being able to see each other often.
Love how we can still come together and blabber. Time didn't dilute anything.
*** ***
I am so cramped with work that i could go chew/chomp on a tree branch to deal with the pain.
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Given the way the world is today, with the more "liberal"/"personal choice" or "less morally stringent" (whichever way you see it) standards towards premarital sex
AND
let's say if you were a firm believer of abstinence and you walk the talk...
Question:
What would you do if you found out that your partner had one or more sexual partners before s/he came into your life?
(assuming that you didn't ask her/him this question before getting together with her/him.)
Would like to know how you people feel about this. :-)
(Hah! i am bigheadedly nicely assuming that people actually read this stuff)
*** ***
A friend used to be in such a situation and while trying to help then, i have to confess that i was an idealistic toot-head during then.
I soon realized that it's easy to say that"love can overcome". But that's forgetting a lot of other factors and events that occur before the overcoming stage, IF it even overcomes at all.
Some people put moral standards and expectations way beyond just love itself.
AND
let's say if you were a firm believer of abstinence and you walk the talk...
Question:
What would you do if you found out that your partner had one or more sexual partners before s/he came into your life?
(assuming that you didn't ask her/him this question before getting together with her/him.)
Would like to know how you people feel about this. :-)
(Hah! i am bigheadedly nicely assuming that people actually read this stuff)
*** ***
A friend used to be in such a situation and while trying to help then, i have to confess that i was an idealistic toot-head during then.
I soon realized that it's easy to say that"love can overcome". But that's forgetting a lot of other factors and events that occur before the overcoming stage, IF it even overcomes at all.
Some people put moral standards and expectations way beyond just love itself.
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Hm. Nothing much to yak about so i'll just leave you guys with some REALLY random photos... Some taken recently, some taken a long time ago. I must say that they are generally... nothing to gawk at.
Heh heh.
All except for JED... but even then, the crude editing made the photos so urgly.
*** ***
Outside the living room window.
This was all the sunset i could catch but I'm sure it was a real pretty sunset judging from how the light fell on the clouds.
Why do dogs look sooo cute whenever they rest their heads like this? This is way cuter than when he is lying on his side.
(see second photo also)
Had to adjust the lighting or else his black coloured face wouldn't be seen. But i think my editing kind of destroyed the actuality of it. Oh well. It looked fine in the digital camera!
Cheat my feelings one. *mumble*
(ditto the above)
Too yellowish and blurry. Yurk. :-(
But cute dog makes me happy. *swooon*
Taken during a birthday function at some club in Jurong.
Thought the lighting was rather romantic and wanted a closeup, but oh well.
Taken at the "Oasis", at Kallang i think... While awaiting dinner at the "No Signboard Seafood" restaurant. They win hands down for a chinese restaurant with the funkiest name.
A sad attempt at taking a nature shot at Gran's place. Boredom during the 1st day of CNY makes one overly ambitious.
*** ***
Quite a yawn huh? *grin*
Ok lah, got so much work to do.
Oh and... girls! PSST! There're SO MANY WONDERFUL SALES GOING ON! (eg. U2, Dorothy Perkins, Fox, and a whole lot more...)
(i couldn't resist tearing a bleeding, gory hole in my pocket today.)
In the past, i rarely shop, which explains my total lack of variety in choice of clothing. Right church mates?
But recently, (sigh!) the shopping bug has bitten so nasty-ly that i find myself going severely swirly eyed at the sight of signs declaring "Discounts up to x%" and nice clothes on mannequins in the window.
I'm a racerback tank top and jeans kind of girl, and mostly in boring solid colours... Though a little more colour has just entered the wardrobe!
Not much, but i suspect that my little collection will expand... Probably during the hols. Will have more time and i am thinking of getting part time work. *rubs hands in glee*
Only problem with me is that i need to get myself to be more daring with different cuts and colours.
When the shoulder portion of a top fits my broad shoulders (and my rugby player arms, or so i've been told that i possess. Heh heh heh.), it's too loose at the waist. But when a top fits at the waist, it doesn't fit my shoulders.
So you see, it's no easy task to buy clothes hence also the lack of shopping sprees before. But i manage. :-)
I realize that in the shopping scene, it's a women's paradise! There're gazillions of stuff to try and experiment with and look original/good in. It all depends on whether you dare to try it and dare to carry it off with confidence.
But I is a bad girl today. No more shopping in a long while. (but only after i get a bag and shoes!)
Enough of the prattle! Back to the psych books i go.
Heh heh.
All except for JED... but even then, the crude editing made the photos so urgly.
*** ***
Outside the living room window.
This was all the sunset i could catch but I'm sure it was a real pretty sunset judging from how the light fell on the clouds.
Why do dogs look sooo cute whenever they rest their heads like this? This is way cuter than when he is lying on his side.
(see second photo also)
Had to adjust the lighting or else his black coloured face wouldn't be seen. But i think my editing kind of destroyed the actuality of it. Oh well. It looked fine in the digital camera!
Cheat my feelings one. *mumble*
(ditto the above)
Too yellowish and blurry. Yurk. :-(
But cute dog makes me happy. *swooon*
Taken during a birthday function at some club in Jurong.
Thought the lighting was rather romantic and wanted a closeup, but oh well.
Taken at the "Oasis", at Kallang i think... While awaiting dinner at the "No Signboard Seafood" restaurant. They win hands down for a chinese restaurant with the funkiest name.
A sad attempt at taking a nature shot at Gran's place. Boredom during the 1st day of CNY makes one overly ambitious.*** ***
Quite a yawn huh? *grin*
Ok lah, got so much work to do.
Oh and... girls! PSST! There're SO MANY WONDERFUL SALES GOING ON! (eg. U2, Dorothy Perkins, Fox, and a whole lot more...)
(i couldn't resist tearing a bleeding, gory hole in my pocket today.)
In the past, i rarely shop, which explains my total lack of variety in choice of clothing. Right church mates?
But recently, (sigh!) the shopping bug has bitten so nasty-ly that i find myself going severely swirly eyed at the sight of signs declaring "Discounts up to x%" and nice clothes on mannequins in the window.
I'm a racerback tank top and jeans kind of girl, and mostly in boring solid colours... Though a little more colour has just entered the wardrobe!
Not much, but i suspect that my little collection will expand... Probably during the hols. Will have more time and i am thinking of getting part time work. *rubs hands in glee*
Only problem with me is that i need to get myself to be more daring with different cuts and colours.
When the shoulder portion of a top fits my broad shoulders (and my rugby player arms, or so i've been told that i possess. Heh heh heh.), it's too loose at the waist. But when a top fits at the waist, it doesn't fit my shoulders.
So you see, it's no easy task to buy clothes hence also the lack of shopping sprees before. But i manage. :-)
I realize that in the shopping scene, it's a women's paradise! There're gazillions of stuff to try and experiment with and look original/good in. It all depends on whether you dare to try it and dare to carry it off with confidence.
But I is a bad girl today. No more shopping in a long while. (but only after i get a bag and shoes!)
Enough of the prattle! Back to the psych books i go.
Monday, July 25, 2005
continuation 2
Cute right? hur hur... :-D
I want to koochee them little faces!
*** ***
Upcoming assignment deadlines, upcoming examinations, ongoing revisions, other things to keep me sane...
Everything is piling and piling up. And having a lazy attitude to face all these things is far from a good asset to have.
I will come out of this eventually, i know. From now till then, i shall trudge on, taking one day at a time, doing what i must. And relying not on myself, for...
I never walk alone!
Ah, the continuation of that great message a few weeks ago.
Fifth: The very walk itself.
Coming to Jesus for the sake of getting, i quote, a "Fire Insurance" (A Pass you get to save you from the gates of Hell) is not what Christianity is truly all about.
Yes, initially, we reach out to pre-believers because we desire that they be saved from the consequences of sin, which is eternal Death, in a place without God.
It is our calling, that we reach out in Christ's love to those around us because we desire that they may also rejoice with us in Heaven with our Creator.
But once someone has accepted Christ, it goes further than that. It's no longer about being saved from the fire. It's time to walk the talk.
This is where spiritual growth and maturity takes place. As we walk closely with the Lord, we see the deeper side to God, we DESIRE to follow His ways because we love Him for who He is to us.
There is no need to feel guilt because, God loved us so much that he willingly became as a Man to die in our place. He did that with love for you and I.
We don't "deserve this love", so to speak, because of how sinful we are and how holy God is, but that is immaterial in God's eyes.
His love is free, He IS love. It's whether or not we want to accept this truth.
With maturity, you begin to trust God in whatever circumstances you encounter. It's NO longer seeing God as... the God for the Good Things in Life only.
It is through the tough and good times in the walk, when we truly GROW and become REFINED.
This is where one can separate the goats from the sheep. The fair weather Christians/the ones in it only for the "works of His hand", from the ones who stick on till Kingdom come.
Of course, in terrible trials, even the mature can stumble and fall, backslide and stagnate. We are still human, weak and vulnerable in the flesh and susceptible in spirit.
But our God, is a loving and forgiving God. No matter how horrible we've been, no matter how much we might've slandered God in our rage and sufferings...
The Lord sees us through our sufferings and He will and does not turn away from us. In fact, He would be waiting with abundant forgiveness when you return with a humbled and contrite heart!
He is Faithful, even when we are Unfaithful. Right Alwyn? :-)
*** ***
2 weekends in school, 2 experiments to design, plan and run, 2 presentations. And for all these, i am SO THANKFUL that I was given a fantastic team to work with. Complementing each other in our strengths and weaknesses and everything else that made great team work!
You guys made life during weekend school bearable through all the brainstorming and brain storms, tutor issues, fatigue, and oh so many other things! And we came out of it doing well too... Yay! Well done everyone.
And 2 weekends have also made me realize that i have fallen in the love with the food there. I can see myself returning there to have lunch (heh heh.) even after i graduate. Oh... if you love creamy pasta, the carbonara is for you. Oh, Heavenly!
OH! To work, i must, i must.
I shall look to Him like a child would and take His hand as we walk together.
Friday, July 22, 2005
1. After chewing on this, i find it weird that people, by just doing their jobs which happen to involve being on screen (media), has made them into scream-worthy, drool-worthy, (censored)-worthy, worship-worthy gods/goddesses.
2. Abhorrent ******* marks! :-(
3. When did Skinny become beautiful? Why must Skinny be beautiful in the eyes of society? There was an era when being fleshy (curvy at the backside, frontside and tummy... Well, voluptuous all over.) was beautiful.
And that wasn't just in China.
So that designers didn't have to waste too much fabric on the model?
So that heels can take the weight? (Then go design kinds for bigger women lah! I'm sure you guys have enough creativity up there.)
Why is flab considered "ugly"?
(but of course, staying healthy is one issue. But let us not assume that being skinny is healthy either. That could actually be further from the truth.)
Shame on you, insensitive and cruel society for making people feel insecure about their "supposedly less perfect" bodies AND
For instigating certain shallow people to discriminate against them!
(If you are not of the fleshier type, good for you, and be thankful that you were born in this era where most people would like not to be associated with being fat. )
2. Abhorrent ******* marks! :-(
3. When did Skinny become beautiful? Why must Skinny be beautiful in the eyes of society? There was an era when being fleshy (curvy at the backside, frontside and tummy... Well, voluptuous all over.) was beautiful.
And that wasn't just in China.
So that designers didn't have to waste too much fabric on the model?
So that heels can take the weight? (Then go design kinds for bigger women lah! I'm sure you guys have enough creativity up there.)
Why is flab considered "ugly"?
(but of course, staying healthy is one issue. But let us not assume that being skinny is healthy either. That could actually be further from the truth.)
Shame on you, insensitive and cruel society for making people feel insecure about their "supposedly less perfect" bodies AND
For instigating certain shallow people to discriminate against them!
(If you are not of the fleshier type, good for you, and be thankful that you were born in this era where most people would like not to be associated with being fat. )
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
This little testimony is a humble one, but it has (re)taught me some marvellous lessons. They are lessons that i have heard all along in theory, but yesterday, it become a practical test, from which i have learnt richly.
Thank you Father, for teaching me big lessons by starting with the small and humble things.
*** ***
Yesterday, my sister was afflicted with food poisoning because of something she had on sunday. She was feeling pukey and yeah, had to visit the toilet often.
She slept a lot during the day but when she was up, she still going through the discomfort and still felt queasy. If she ate any more than she could take (which was really very little to begin with) she would throw up.
Last night, after soaking in the mystery as depicted in "Incredible Tales" (heehee) at about 10:30pm (was it?), my mom asked me to check on the sister to make sure she was all right.
I did, and found her to be sound asleep, well at least i thought so.
When i returned to my room and sat down at my study table, a sudden thought, like a small realization came:
"Pray for her."
(And an image of laying my hands on her and praying came to my mind.)
Immediately, my "other" mind recoiled, and thought: ARGH! But, that's so weird and scary!
But i decided there and then, that prayer is something that, as a Christian, i should exercise and when there is cause to pray, be obedient and PRAY! And indeed, in me, i felt that i should not toss what i had "heard" away but respond in obedience.
And believe me, prayer moves things. It does something, small or big, in the spiritual realm although you can't tangibly see it.
Now, i have NEVER gone to pray VOLUNTARILY for anyone. The only times when i have prayed for people is during alloted times that are MEANT to be spent praying for one another or another person. When we have no option not to.
(This is where i have heard so much about going forth to pray, but have never done in practical)
So, having to physically transport myself to the person in question with the motive to pray is like... Moving in faith and fear at the same time, even when the person was sound asleep during then.
A strange feeling rose up in me as i walked over to her room. It was a mix of human apprehension and fear but then, i also felt a sense of empowerment and also a sense that what i was doing, was right.
I knelt at the foot of her bed, hopefully where she wouldn't see me if she awoke at all. I was also afraid that dad or mom would walk by and ask me what i was doing in the dark. Oh yeah, i didn't mention too that praying for someone can be embarrassing!
Did you know that? Praying for someone (without planning to) feels precisely like stepping out from your own comfort zone and bearing yourself openly.
(picture going up to a sick stranger and ask if they would allow you to pray for them)
Hahah, before i could get the first few words out, she tossed in bed quite vigorously and i thought: ARGH! She's gonna see me!
*Jo scuttles out back into her own room*
Oh well. I thought, never mind... I'll just pray for her where i am and so i did.
*** ***
Hey Jie, how're you this morning?
"Oh, better... and hungry."
*Jo smiles inwardly*
So, did you have to get up to go to the toilet last night?
"No, in fact, i slept like a log... I slept throughout even though i spent the day itself sleeping." (even she herself sounded surprised at this)
*Jo smiles inwardly again*
God sure answered my prayer word for word!
Lessons Learnt:
- When you think you hear something, check to see if it is biblical. Whether it is in line with God's character and deed.
- And if it is, RESPOND in HUMBLE OBEDIENCE! If God meant for you to do something for Him, it might well be that He wants to do something through you so that you can see the work of His hand and share it with others to bless them! :-)
- If God had spoken and you obey, He will honour you. This translates to other areas in life. It's about "dying to yourself". It's about giving up of the things that mean something to you, or giving up the fears, feelings of embarrassment, pride, etc.
It is truly about desiring, loving and trusting in God and the purposes of God so much, that nothing that stems from yourself stands in the way of His will.
- Prayer may be scary, a bold step forward and embarrassing to ourselves. After praying, you may not always see something dramatic happening before your very eyes. But take heart, because prayer moves things, sometimes in ways you cannot see and sometimes, in ways that you can see. From a song we've sung:
"Step by step we're moving forward,
Little by little taking ground,
Every prayer a powerful weapon,
Strongholds come,
Tumbling down and down,
And down, and down, and down..."
So it's time that we find it in ourselves to overcome this barrier to extend our hands out in love to those who are in need. All this, so that we may share of His goodness and to see in them the same joy that we have come to know.
*** ***
Uncle GH's workshop on "Walking in the Supernatural" in church had indeed put some seeds of prior knowledge now as i reflect on this.
Till Then.
*Exam mugging has begun!*
Thank you Father, for teaching me big lessons by starting with the small and humble things.
*** ***
Yesterday, my sister was afflicted with food poisoning because of something she had on sunday. She was feeling pukey and yeah, had to visit the toilet often.
She slept a lot during the day but when she was up, she still going through the discomfort and still felt queasy. If she ate any more than she could take (which was really very little to begin with) she would throw up.
Last night, after soaking in the mystery as depicted in "Incredible Tales" (heehee) at about 10:30pm (was it?), my mom asked me to check on the sister to make sure she was all right.
I did, and found her to be sound asleep, well at least i thought so.
When i returned to my room and sat down at my study table, a sudden thought, like a small realization came:
"Pray for her."
(And an image of laying my hands on her and praying came to my mind.)
Immediately, my "other" mind recoiled, and thought: ARGH! But, that's so weird and scary!
But i decided there and then, that prayer is something that, as a Christian, i should exercise and when there is cause to pray, be obedient and PRAY! And indeed, in me, i felt that i should not toss what i had "heard" away but respond in obedience.
And believe me, prayer moves things. It does something, small or big, in the spiritual realm although you can't tangibly see it.
Now, i have NEVER gone to pray VOLUNTARILY for anyone. The only times when i have prayed for people is during alloted times that are MEANT to be spent praying for one another or another person. When we have no option not to.
(This is where i have heard so much about going forth to pray, but have never done in practical)
So, having to physically transport myself to the person in question with the motive to pray is like... Moving in faith and fear at the same time, even when the person was sound asleep during then.
A strange feeling rose up in me as i walked over to her room. It was a mix of human apprehension and fear but then, i also felt a sense of empowerment and also a sense that what i was doing, was right.
I knelt at the foot of her bed, hopefully where she wouldn't see me if she awoke at all. I was also afraid that dad or mom would walk by and ask me what i was doing in the dark. Oh yeah, i didn't mention too that praying for someone can be embarrassing!
Did you know that? Praying for someone (without planning to) feels precisely like stepping out from your own comfort zone and bearing yourself openly.
(picture going up to a sick stranger and ask if they would allow you to pray for them)
Hahah, before i could get the first few words out, she tossed in bed quite vigorously and i thought: ARGH! She's gonna see me!
*Jo scuttles out back into her own room*
Oh well. I thought, never mind... I'll just pray for her where i am and so i did.
*** ***
Hey Jie, how're you this morning?
"Oh, better... and hungry."
*Jo smiles inwardly*
So, did you have to get up to go to the toilet last night?
"No, in fact, i slept like a log... I slept throughout even though i spent the day itself sleeping." (even she herself sounded surprised at this)
*Jo smiles inwardly again*
God sure answered my prayer word for word!
Lessons Learnt:
- When you think you hear something, check to see if it is biblical. Whether it is in line with God's character and deed.
- And if it is, RESPOND in HUMBLE OBEDIENCE! If God meant for you to do something for Him, it might well be that He wants to do something through you so that you can see the work of His hand and share it with others to bless them! :-)
- If God had spoken and you obey, He will honour you. This translates to other areas in life. It's about "dying to yourself". It's about giving up of the things that mean something to you, or giving up the fears, feelings of embarrassment, pride, etc.
It is truly about desiring, loving and trusting in God and the purposes of God so much, that nothing that stems from yourself stands in the way of His will.
- Prayer may be scary, a bold step forward and embarrassing to ourselves. After praying, you may not always see something dramatic happening before your very eyes. But take heart, because prayer moves things, sometimes in ways you cannot see and sometimes, in ways that you can see. From a song we've sung:
"Step by step we're moving forward,
Little by little taking ground,
Every prayer a powerful weapon,
Strongholds come,
Tumbling down and down,
And down, and down, and down..."
So it's time that we find it in ourselves to overcome this barrier to extend our hands out in love to those who are in need. All this, so that we may share of His goodness and to see in them the same joy that we have come to know.
*** ***
Uncle GH's workshop on "Walking in the Supernatural" in church had indeed put some seeds of prior knowledge now as i reflect on this.
Till Then.
*Exam mugging has begun!*
Sunday, July 17, 2005
hur?
Popped by an old schoolmate's blog and i read something he said about how he feels, now that he is in love: (not the exact words)
"... my heart has been stolen by somebody and nothing else thrills me anymore except when i see XXX".
(Trust me when i say that it sounded a lot more... "passionate" when read with the complete post and with the other posts. Very generous with his expressions of love i must say.)
I was like: Woah.
Ok, being the contradiction that i am, i feel too much and feel too little. So, although i (censored, censored, censored), i stop short at agreeing if that is what "true love" does to a person, because i thought it was quite intense.
Then again, maybe i have been living in a hole?
People, is that what "true love" does to a person? Please feel free to enlighten the suaku/blur gong/cynic/unfeeling/too feeling.
- Is it an unhealthy intoxication?
- Or is it just simply a case of an emotional person just being in touch with his feelings of love. Love, that is wholesome, pure and true.
- Or is it signs of the honeymoon period sort of thing.
- Or maybe i just haven't heard how strongly guys can feel about their loved one.
(or maybe i refuse to believe that they, guys, can feel that strongly. Hm.)
I is curious AND clueless, if you would be so kind, please enlighten mua! Please? Thanks skew!
*** ***
J: Actually, i like war movies...
Me: Really? Oh, things like... Saving Rya... (proceeds to burst out laughing hysterically)
(J. and the rest of my team mates look at me in amusement and endure my incessent giggling...)
It was later when i, errr, confessed that i had meant to say "Saving Private Ryan" (referring to the movie) but instead was on the verge of saying... : "Saving Ryan's Privates"
Man, you should've heard the girls burst out roaring and hooting with laughter in the computer lab while A., the only guy in our group looked downward with a smile on his face.
(i read that joke somewhere but i never knew that it would stick until i'd say it wrongly. Must've thought it was hilarious too.)
"... my heart has been stolen by somebody and nothing else thrills me anymore except when i see XXX".
(Trust me when i say that it sounded a lot more... "passionate" when read with the complete post and with the other posts. Very generous with his expressions of love i must say.)
I was like: Woah.
Ok, being the contradiction that i am, i feel too much and feel too little. So, although i (censored, censored, censored), i stop short at agreeing if that is what "true love" does to a person, because i thought it was quite intense.
Then again, maybe i have been living in a hole?
People, is that what "true love" does to a person? Please feel free to enlighten the suaku/blur gong/cynic/unfeeling/too feeling.
- Is it an unhealthy intoxication?
- Or is it just simply a case of an emotional person just being in touch with his feelings of love. Love, that is wholesome, pure and true.
- Or is it signs of the honeymoon period sort of thing.
- Or maybe i just haven't heard how strongly guys can feel about their loved one.
(or maybe i refuse to believe that they, guys, can feel that strongly. Hm.)
I is curious AND clueless, if you would be so kind, please enlighten mua! Please? Thanks skew!
*** ***
J: Actually, i like war movies...
Me: Really? Oh, things like... Saving Rya... (proceeds to burst out laughing hysterically)
(J. and the rest of my team mates look at me in amusement and endure my incessent giggling...)
It was later when i, errr, confessed that i had meant to say "Saving Private Ryan" (referring to the movie) but instead was on the verge of saying... : "Saving Ryan's Privates"
Man, you should've heard the girls burst out roaring and hooting with laughter in the computer lab while A., the only guy in our group looked downward with a smile on his face.
(i read that joke somewhere but i never knew that it would stick until i'd say it wrongly. Must've thought it was hilarious too.)
Saturday, July 16, 2005
continuation 1
Haven't been keeping up with the usual daily postings. A lot on my mind, but so little words to express. Also, there's no the "i must blog about this!" kind of inspiration.
But one thing i have to say is... This past week has been wonderful, thanks to you. I had the pleasure of savouring the rich and diverse musical delectables from different parts of the world AND most of all... _____ ____ ___. *wink*
Thank you.
Not an often occurring event, this, the WASBE 12th International Conference. So, it was indeed a huge blessing, and treat!
WASBE-World Association for Symphonic Bands and Ensemble.
AND WE GOT TO TRY THE SOPRANO SAXOPHONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *drooooooooool* Oh, if ONLY i held on to you longer... you sweet, sweeeeet, golden, smooth saxophone... ooohh-lala-YeeHaaaa!
*composes self*
I just spent my saturday in school with a nice bunch of classmates (THANK GOD!) doing an experimental project. This weekend's covering Cognitive Modelling, and next weekend's on Memory. Yeah, sunday included. Yeehaa!
I think i am overfed. Urgh.
I only have a mere 2 more months to my exams. I am elated and panicking, all at once. RAGH!
I will die a horrible death if i don't start mugging, like, now.
Jed demonstrates rigor mortis. (muscular stiffening, that follows death)
*** ***
I did that masochistic thing again. Why Jo, why? But then again, the masochism is losing its effect somewhat.
Good. Very good.
*** ***
Onto the next 2 points that i want to share that have blessed me immensely.
Thirdly: God's Purposes are higher than ours.
This one is a touchy issue. For example, God Heals. Yes. But not all the time. Sometimes, we tend to emphasize that God wants to heal everyone and all the time. But this is not true, and it's because there is a reason for all that He allows and does not allow.
It might come across as sounding rather evil, morbid and disgusting. That how a loving God can bear to allow his people to keep carrying a burden. But God knows how to deal with us and what would be the best ways to mold and teach us.
Sometimes he heals us and when He doesn't, sometimes, afflictions can keep us humbled, keep us focused on seeking the Lord, to keep us walking on the straight and narrow.
And when the road gets treacherous, it boils down once again, to trust. And we trust, that His ways are higher, His thoughts are higher and His purposes are higher.
No amount of intellectuals, doctors, scholars, and other brainy people will be able to comprehend all that God intends.
He made us, the little humans we are. We are limited in our capacity in all areas in comparison with God.
And we need to be humbled, be still, and know that He is God.
Fourth: WWJD?
I sometimes wear a crucifix that has, engraved upon it, "WWJD". It stands for What Would Jesus Do. But after yesterday, i will also keep in mind, that it also stands for "Walking With Jesus Daily".
That might sound like the easiest thing to do, but let me assure you, that it is also one of the hardest things in life to do.
That is our challenge. And in the challenges, we are changed people when we come out of a situation.
It may be hard, but when we have run the race, when the end of time comes and when we meet our God face to face... It will be the most... unspeakably fulfilling, awe inspiring and glorifying (and everything wonderful!) end.
(to be continued)
But one thing i have to say is... This past week has been wonderful, thanks to you. I had the pleasure of savouring the rich and diverse musical delectables from different parts of the world AND most of all... _____ ____ ___. *wink*
Thank you.
Not an often occurring event, this, the WASBE 12th International Conference. So, it was indeed a huge blessing, and treat!
WASBE-World Association for Symphonic Bands and Ensemble.
AND WE GOT TO TRY THE SOPRANO SAXOPHONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *drooooooooool* Oh, if ONLY i held on to you longer... you sweet, sweeeeet, golden, smooth saxophone... ooohh-lala-YeeHaaaa!
*composes self*
I just spent my saturday in school with a nice bunch of classmates (THANK GOD!) doing an experimental project. This weekend's covering Cognitive Modelling, and next weekend's on Memory. Yeah, sunday included. Yeehaa!
I think i am overfed. Urgh.
I only have a mere 2 more months to my exams. I am elated and panicking, all at once. RAGH!
I will die a horrible death if i don't start mugging, like, now.
Jed demonstrates rigor mortis. (muscular stiffening, that follows death)
*** ***
I did that masochistic thing again. Why Jo, why? But then again, the masochism is losing its effect somewhat.
Good. Very good.
*** ***
Onto the next 2 points that i want to share that have blessed me immensely.
Thirdly: God's Purposes are higher than ours.
This one is a touchy issue. For example, God Heals. Yes. But not all the time. Sometimes, we tend to emphasize that God wants to heal everyone and all the time. But this is not true, and it's because there is a reason for all that He allows and does not allow.
It might come across as sounding rather evil, morbid and disgusting. That how a loving God can bear to allow his people to keep carrying a burden. But God knows how to deal with us and what would be the best ways to mold and teach us.
Sometimes he heals us and when He doesn't, sometimes, afflictions can keep us humbled, keep us focused on seeking the Lord, to keep us walking on the straight and narrow.
And when the road gets treacherous, it boils down once again, to trust. And we trust, that His ways are higher, His thoughts are higher and His purposes are higher.
No amount of intellectuals, doctors, scholars, and other brainy people will be able to comprehend all that God intends.
He made us, the little humans we are. We are limited in our capacity in all areas in comparison with God.
And we need to be humbled, be still, and know that He is God.
Fourth: WWJD?
I sometimes wear a crucifix that has, engraved upon it, "WWJD". It stands for What Would Jesus Do. But after yesterday, i will also keep in mind, that it also stands for "Walking With Jesus Daily".
That might sound like the easiest thing to do, but let me assure you, that it is also one of the hardest things in life to do.
That is our challenge. And in the challenges, we are changed people when we come out of a situation.
It may be hard, but when we have run the race, when the end of time comes and when we meet our God face to face... It will be the most... unspeakably fulfilling, awe inspiring and glorifying (and everything wonderful!) end.
(to be continued)
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Blessed
(written on the 10th July, sunday)
Today, my mom threw her hands up in the air and waved them about, exclaiming with unbridled emotion. (ok, that was a little over the top, but she DID DO the waving and exclaiming)
All that with her durian smeared gloves on and all.
No, she didn't win the lottery, no, i didn't blow up the kitchen, no, i didn't drop a durian on my foot and no, i most certainly am not pregnant.
(though i've been having a suspiciously voracious appetite. Hmmm...)
Mumsy: "Finally! Something that the daughter and father agree on!"
Dadsy: "Huh? You mean we don't agree on things?"
Mumsy: "I mean, this is something that both daughter and father are talking about so passionately."
To explain why she lapsed into a temporary frenzy of a few seconds...
Yesterday evening, we had a guest speaker in church who came to share the word with us during the Youth Service.
I cannot begin to express HOW MUCH his message spoke so deeply and meaningfully. I don't even know where to start to share!
I brought it up this morning with Dadsy and we, being the critical sort, started bringing up the salient and important points that spoke such truth in the face of so much misleading preaching these days.
Dad and i agree that, we, ("we" collectively being, us the congregation AND leaders), REALLY NEEDED to hear the hard truths about the Christian walk. For too long, we've been hearing all these things about constantly being in victory for Christ. We both felt that we needed to be brought back down to Earth and cease the sensationalizing.
Sensationalizing is one of the most dangerous aspects that take place in the church. It misleads and sows false seeds of faith, in pre-believers and believers alike.
Verses referred to:
- Isaiah 40: 27-31
- 2 Corinthians 12: 9-10
First: We will face times when God seems far away. But take heart...
- In our Christian walk, we WILL face dry periods when God "removes" the feelings of His presence from us. But that does NOT mean that he is really gone. In fact, He never left us, will never leave us and He will still continue to walk closely beside us. :-)
He does this, not because He wants to point and laugh to get amusement (maybe the same way you might snigger and take the toilet away from The Sims characters), but it's to teach us: To NOT rely on FEELINGS OF GOD, but rather to rely on GOD HIMSELF. That's who we place our trust in. The Originator.
Second: The Christian walk is NOT a straight line.
Jesus never promised us a bed of roses. Life will always have its challenges, because God wants to REFINE us into the people that He wants us to become. To shine and show the beauty of His character and to be prepared for the things that He wants us to do.
It is in our weakness, when God's strength is seen. Isn't it wonderful? We kinda.. "Win", in both ways. Think about it:
During the good times, we are all happy. Birds sing, snakes dance and monkeys do not fall off the trees. We rejoice.
But in the bad times, we can be equally happy and at peace too. Are we nuts? No.
Because i'd like to share with you, that as we live on this life with God by our side, we know that we will never be left alone and that God takes cares of us, of our every need.
All that we need to do, the attitude to adopt, is to have an unwavering trust in God. And when we put our complete trust in Him, there is no more need to worry about all our tomorrows.
It is during out lowest times of sorrow and suffering, that His Grace will shine through and that's when you see His work being done as well, even in the bad times! I've witnessed it for myself and i have absolutely no doubt about my Lord.
:-) :-D ;-D
These are the first 2 points that i remember from that message he shared. Most of what he shared were the most essential and humbling foundations of the Christian walk that need to be kept in mind all the time.
YAY! I am so blessed by the message, and i hope you will be too.
(to be continued)
Today, my mom threw her hands up in the air and waved them about, exclaiming with unbridled emotion. (ok, that was a little over the top, but she DID DO the waving and exclaiming)
All that with her durian smeared gloves on and all.
No, she didn't win the lottery, no, i didn't blow up the kitchen, no, i didn't drop a durian on my foot and no, i most certainly am not pregnant.
(though i've been having a suspiciously voracious appetite. Hmmm...)
Mumsy: "Finally! Something that the daughter and father agree on!"
Dadsy: "Huh? You mean we don't agree on things?"
Mumsy: "I mean, this is something that both daughter and father are talking about so passionately."
To explain why she lapsed into a temporary frenzy of a few seconds...
Yesterday evening, we had a guest speaker in church who came to share the word with us during the Youth Service.
I cannot begin to express HOW MUCH his message spoke so deeply and meaningfully. I don't even know where to start to share!
I brought it up this morning with Dadsy and we, being the critical sort, started bringing up the salient and important points that spoke such truth in the face of so much misleading preaching these days.
Dad and i agree that, we, ("we" collectively being, us the congregation AND leaders), REALLY NEEDED to hear the hard truths about the Christian walk. For too long, we've been hearing all these things about constantly being in victory for Christ. We both felt that we needed to be brought back down to Earth and cease the sensationalizing.
Sensationalizing is one of the most dangerous aspects that take place in the church. It misleads and sows false seeds of faith, in pre-believers and believers alike.
Verses referred to:
- Isaiah 40: 27-31
- 2 Corinthians 12: 9-10
First: We will face times when God seems far away. But take heart...
- In our Christian walk, we WILL face dry periods when God "removes" the feelings of His presence from us. But that does NOT mean that he is really gone. In fact, He never left us, will never leave us and He will still continue to walk closely beside us. :-)
He does this, not because He wants to point and laugh to get amusement (maybe the same way you might snigger and take the toilet away from The Sims characters), but it's to teach us: To NOT rely on FEELINGS OF GOD, but rather to rely on GOD HIMSELF. That's who we place our trust in. The Originator.
Second: The Christian walk is NOT a straight line.
Jesus never promised us a bed of roses. Life will always have its challenges, because God wants to REFINE us into the people that He wants us to become. To shine and show the beauty of His character and to be prepared for the things that He wants us to do.
It is in our weakness, when God's strength is seen. Isn't it wonderful? We kinda.. "Win", in both ways. Think about it:
During the good times, we are all happy. Birds sing, snakes dance and monkeys do not fall off the trees. We rejoice.
But in the bad times, we can be equally happy and at peace too. Are we nuts? No.
Because i'd like to share with you, that as we live on this life with God by our side, we know that we will never be left alone and that God takes cares of us, of our every need.
All that we need to do, the attitude to adopt, is to have an unwavering trust in God. And when we put our complete trust in Him, there is no more need to worry about all our tomorrows.
It is during out lowest times of sorrow and suffering, that His Grace will shine through and that's when you see His work being done as well, even in the bad times! I've witnessed it for myself and i have absolutely no doubt about my Lord.
:-) :-D ;-D
These are the first 2 points that i remember from that message he shared. Most of what he shared were the most essential and humbling foundations of the Christian walk that need to be kept in mind all the time.
YAY! I am so blessed by the message, and i hope you will be too.
(to be continued)
Monday, July 11, 2005
There's plenty going on these days, and so much i want to say. But each time i blog it down, it doesn't come out sounding right. :-S
I've got a hoard of drafts sitting patiently in blogger. I bet each of them are wondering when i'd put them up so that they can speak for me.
But they eventually will, after editing. Yes, good drafts, sit tight a little ok.
I realized how slack i've been this year and i am beginning to feel panic rising up in me. As i compare the kind of mugging i did last year despite my hard work, i dread the mugging i will need to do this year as the exams approach this october.
Just a couple of pictures.
In the Spirit of Narcissism, I took a whole bunch of portrait photos and realized that the only one worthy of being posted was the one with half of my face. (hm, quarter actually, come to think of it.)
Sigh, face the truth squarely, Jo.
(pun unintended)
Actually, the subject of this photo is really the target sheet behind me.
These are just a few of the most important people in my life, some others had to leave earlier while our group leader is the photographer. These are the people who allowed me to open up about my walk with God, and the people who are walking the same walk with me, with our same Lord, Jesus.
The NTU cell from Church of Our Saviour.
I've got a hoard of drafts sitting patiently in blogger. I bet each of them are wondering when i'd put them up so that they can speak for me.
But they eventually will, after editing. Yes, good drafts, sit tight a little ok.
I realized how slack i've been this year and i am beginning to feel panic rising up in me. As i compare the kind of mugging i did last year despite my hard work, i dread the mugging i will need to do this year as the exams approach this october.
Just a couple of pictures.
In the Spirit of Narcissism, I took a whole bunch of portrait photos and realized that the only one worthy of being posted was the one with half of my face. (hm, quarter actually, come to think of it.)
Sigh, face the truth squarely, Jo.
(pun unintended)
Actually, the subject of this photo is really the target sheet behind me.
These are just a few of the most important people in my life, some others had to leave earlier while our group leader is the photographer. These are the people who allowed me to open up about my walk with God, and the people who are walking the same walk with me, with our same Lord, Jesus.
The NTU cell from Church of Our Saviour.
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