My literature review draft 1 is out! Such a relief it is... so now i've got to get all my interviews done and transcribing done which is the no-brainer work just before the brain squeezing part: the analysis. But that's okay by me, qualitative study is more up my alley than quantitative.

And it's Chinese New Year this week! We'll all be getting extra long weekends... So lovely. :) Nice to have family around, though that means i probably won't be able to get much work done though but i'll try.

i've noticed that every time i log onto blogger of late, i see a new "follower" being added every now and then. i've never actually had blogger followers, just my regular friends who drop by to read.

this is quite new to me, so i'd like to just say, hi? :) and are you really reading this space? i'm just realllllyyy curious. :D

i wonder if this is what they call "post holiday depression". did i enjoy myself too much? or fell in love with Vancouver? or fell in love with being free? i need to work around my mental representations of what life is, or i'm going to be living in a dissatisfied daze.

i don't know why. i'm beginning this year with very strange negative vibes and feelings. it's as if, i'm angry at something, angry with a group of people, just plain angry at everything. it's making me just want to retreat to a very faraway place, to just communicate at the minimum level with people. although i know that that would make me feel lonely after a while. but still.

i also get this feeling of intense dissatisfaction. i don't know if this is because i've been away and i've seen another side to life. i wonder if other travellers feel the same way too.

it's feelings that come from knowing that there is so much more to life out there than here in Sg. The market here is so small, our daily occurrences are so small in comparison to what's happening out there. Basically, perspectives are so limited here.

You have to FIGHT for what you want to do. It seems like such a tough and unforgiving kind of society. Or, seems so. Life here seems to be about neverending striving, pace of life keeps you stressed and wanting to keep up to par with everyone and with expectations of society, of yourself and others. It's all about the doing, doing, doing, doing.

I know how Jonah from the bible feels. Knowing God's calling but wanting to run away from it. Running in the opposite direction, far far away. While Jonah knew God was calling, I have simply forgotten. I find myself wondering: did God really call me into this field of work? I can't remember.

Where has my heart gone, Lord? I feel it hiding underneath so much disappointment, angst and dissatisfaction. Can you revive it Lord, like, genuinely revive my heart? I feel so dead.

we never seem to be able to have a normal time. there's always a current of tension beneath what we've got and at any time, at any trigger, either one of us blows up.

it's amazing and beyond my understanding how you can totally and utterly fail to see how you push people away. you complain about how others run away, and when it is explained to you why, you sniff at the explanation and deny that anything is wrong with you. such is blindness brought about by pure and unbridled pride or pure density, or the sheer inability to self reflect.

like you said, it's a love-hate relationship. and i'm so sorry to hear that, in all honesty. i don't see why it has to be that way. i don't think God meant relationships to be that way.

i never want to be like you.

my snow angel. :) the snow wasn't very thick so it didn't come out distinctly. had to give it a hand by drawing some lines.

all bundled up standing on the lake (now frozen) beside our hotel. standing directly on flat ice is really an experience! it's like standing on a huge ice cube. it's slippery, and there's hardly any grip when you walk. and yes, that's an ice sculpture behind me.

meet Marcus, or Mark, the guy in charge of "Pet Relations" at the Fairmont hotel. haha. You'll never see dogs lying around in a Singapore hotel! we all thought that he was an old, lethargic but friendly K9 employee, but turns out that he's only TWO YEARS OLD. Goodness, the poor thing's obese, i tell you.

Anyway, i'm back home and i'm glad that the weather has been chilly. Helps us to readjust back to tropical, summer weather all year round. Spent 3 days clearing up the luggage stuff and running errands, so i'm going to have to go full speed into my dissertation. Jetlag has served me well this time around, helping me to sleep and wake up early, which i quite like. I'm really hoping to keep this up.

I'm missing Canda a lot, wishing that it was easier to get there and not have to sit through the 15-16 hours (with a transit in between) on the plane in a cramped position and unable to sleep properly.

I'm hoping to start work soon and earn some dough to go on a trip to Australia. Or some really nice island getaway. Somehow. Somehow.

dinner feast we had with some relatives over. veg, salad, beef rendang, thai basil chicken, prawns, sausages and hot rice.
view of the sun setting between the two trees.

love how the wooden building stands out against the sunlit mountain.

water suspended in time.

yummy lunch of egg-mayo-onions, tomato, cheese and black pepper. i think i'm getting a little pudgey. hmm.

one of the dogs from another dogsled team. handsome guy isn't he? :) i love how he stared right into the camera.

this is Sun and Chocolate, two of the dogs from my dogsled team.

and this is Sun again. he's so adorable and in doofy way but he used to be one of the top racing dogs around in Vancouver, BC.

dog butts as we go along! they apparently love running and they thrive in subzero temperatures! like, -10degreesC and below? i think it was -25. the guide says they eat 5000 calories a day!

stopping for a break and i get a really good shot of them looking back at us. they're probably saying: c'mon guys! lets get going already!

my morning hot chocolate before the dogsled tour. it's so good on a cold, snowy, slushy morning.

a snowball for my targets. muah hahah. but had a change of heart afterwards and didn't throw it.

random shots from the day. :)

doing the snow angel thingy. it really did look quite pretty when you get up!

soiling my pretty boots. but boy, they are so comfy, and right out from the box too!
aunt says: it was meant to be. i say: amen.

cold and windy up here! we were coming out from the food court to go back to the gondola station and had to run through a bit of open space. we decided to brave the cold for some photos, so aunt, mum and i each took turns to scamper to that scenic spot.

yes, mum's idea to put reindeer branch ears on ourselves.

heehee, finally, a post NOT on macarons. yup, so i'm now in lovely and COLD Canada for my wintry family holiday. it's 11:10pm and i'm having a little personal computer time at the dining area with my cousin. am tired from the long flights and head feels a little woozy from the lack of proper sleep and maybe the plane ride. in general, trying to remain psyched for the days to come.

the streetview outside where i'm staying at. had to snap this quickly, but i like it a lot. didn't have much time to take my time to do macro shots of the lovely dried leaves on the ground because, 1) had to keep touristy behaviour to a minimum cos cousins and i were walking to the sushi shop, 2) temperature was below 0 degreesC. Eeps.

the food i've had so far has been lovely. trying to keep tabs on my eating cos the cold tends to make you overeat!

okay, going to sleep now though i would love to post pictures of the food i've had. i have been enlightened. had the biggest salmon sashimi piece ever for just $1.20 (Canadian). Man, Sg rips people off when it comes to food!