this is for you Vicki! :-D

This would be my pig of a dog, sprawling himself on my mom's tummy, looking hungrily at her piece of watermelon. Yup, Jed LOVES fruits and veges. I think the way his face and body looks here closely resembles the proportions of how he was like as a pup. Ah, those days... When he was MURDEROUSLY cute.












"Mommy. I want that piece of watermelon! Pretty please?"

Ok, this would be the first time i'm making use of Blogger's post-up-a-video function. I had to wait AGES for it to load. You'll see a vicious Jed in action, a flash of my sister, and hear my voice in the background muttering something to Jed and sister. Also, at the end, you'll see Jed's ultra cute muzzle-on/against-paw look.

(oh, uh, i said "simi taichi, man", if you couldn't catch that poor attempt at hokkien for "what's the problem?")

Love(s) is/are...

Meet my new pink nike cap!

Jo: Hey, see? I bought this today, the colour is nice right? They say must wear cap in Timor cos the children got lice and you don't wanna get them.
Jiejie: (inspects cap and see the holes on the top that is meant to keep your head cool) GOT HOLES! LICE CAN GET THROUGH!!!
Jo: ................. *thinks "sheesh"*










Still, i love it.


















I don't camwhore ok. It's the cap that's camwhoring.


















My boyfriend and i are sort-of flower people. :-) He got me this, just because.













And he bought me this on our 2nd year anniversary. I cannot begin to tell you how strong its fragrance is when it blooms and how vibrant the colours are. They bloom as quickly as they die, but still, worth the watch every single day.

Trivia: On our very first (serious) date in 2005, he bought me white lilies.











Jun bought me this out of the blue, and i tell you, the message she sent me to tell me about it was hilariously cute and oh so innocently gleeful. She also wrote such a heartmelt type of message on the reverse side of the card there... Which explains the whole fridge magnet's message: Girls Rule.
Amen.
Thank You Jun... *squishhug*





And this.... I've been flaunting! The boy MADE this for me. The story goes like this:

Jo: Eh, there's this belt online i saw, it's SO PRETTY! Got rainbow.... I love....... but it's 15 US dollars. Adds up to about 30+ sg bucks. I want to buy leh.
WR: Aiya, i can design it for you and even add a pony!
Jo: (doesn't take him seriously)

Lo and Behold, one friday he whips out a collection of designs for me to choose from and tadah! He bought a canvas belt, stuck the printed design on the buckle, and covered the design with a kind of gel which took two days to harden. And woahlahlah! I am so pleased. Thank you, Dear. (perks of having a designer boyfriend. muah hahaa. So talented right? right???)

of ibs, po*p and soundbites

Yesterday i visited my doc about the ibs issue, and he's taken me off the meds and keeping me on the laxatives and supplementary fibre. The best part? If all goes well, NO MORE visits! If not, i'll have to pop by again. The condition has improved SO much since the first time i went to visit him about the problem, and i really thank God that my body has reacted well to the training. I didn't think it was possible (i was really upset about how chronic it has been), but i guess i underestimated what professional knowledge and my body could do.

I'm not 100% back to normal. I wish i could be, because then i wouldn't have to care too much about how i'm treating my body. But i think that having this condition helps me, in a way, to keep tabs on my diet and lifestyle. Having to consciously eat more vegs and fruits and to remember to destress. Yeah, stress apparently is a contributing factor. -.-"

Was very very amused at how while mr doctor was about to take my blood pressure, he commanded in a doctorly, rapid fire way to me, "So, have you been eatinglotsofvegetablesandfruitsanddrinkinglotsofwaterandexercisinglikemad? You look like you've lost weight." I giggled (was guffawing in my head) and just said "yeah". Giggle.

Anyway, he was pleased with my blood pressure reading. "Good", he chirped in a pleased manner, as he released the pressure on my arm and removed the stethoscope from his ears.

***

Before heading to school yesterday, i had some dinner that mom had lovingly prepared. Out of all the food she had freshly made and was about to heat up, i grabbed a small bowl with a meagre amount of rice and said that i'd be pleased with just the veg and mushrooms for sides.

Not only does she say that the amount of rice i eat is like a refugee's...

She said, "You eat so little ah, later your s*it small, small (she adds hand gestures for effect and indication) like goat s*it".
I wanted to laugh like a maniac in reply but somehow my frontal lobe suppressed that reaction to her comment.

GOAT POOP?! WHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!

I totally bruised my stomach tonight, having had a Hog's Breath dinner with my lovely coconuts. Ok, i don't know why i called them my coconuts, but, isn't coconut a cute word? Co-Co-NUH-T! Ok, i mean, my NTU cell darlings. Pictures coming up later... It's about 1:35am now and i should be hitting the sack soon cos i'm going to run my second ever 10km (in my life) since last december's standard chartered run.

GEM TREATED US ALL K, ALL ELEVEN OF US! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! *appreciative grin*

Also, i just wanted to say Praise God, because despite such a heavy dinner, although i did get a little bloated from the food considering it was quite a bit, i didn't get the ultra uncomfortable, backache inducing kind of bloatedness that i get from having mild IBS. SO... TATA IBS, SO LONG, FARE WELL, I WANT MY BODY TO CONTINUE REJECTING IBS! THANK GOD!

NB: IBS = irritable bowel syndrome

It's amusing how the "ah bengs" at our usual zhup fan (economy rice) stall always charges my mom more than me though we buy the same stuff. We know this because we bought the same thing on separate occasions and the price differed by 10 to 20 cents.

They like my pwetty youthful face? *hawhawhaw*

Love me, for me. For who i am now. Love me for the real me.

Don't love an idea of me. Don't fool yourself into thinking you love me. An idea is all it is. An idea. And if you love an idea that does not come to pass, then you would've wasted your whole life on someone you did not love.

Don't claim to love me for who i am if you've brainwashed yourself. Stop telling yourself your lies so many times that it has become your 'truth'. Because one day, the truth will emerge, and when the repercussions of that arise, you'll wish you had never lived.

Whenever i take a break from essaying or work, i go over to Youtube and do a search on jazz or blues keyboard... And man, would i be utterly inspired! I learnt to play classical music in primary school and stopped in primary 6 at grade 1. Since i didn't call my old piano teacher back (who is now coincidentally in the same church as me! i only found out this year.), i pretty much became a recreational pianist who loved new age music. I then took up chord music lessons at believermusic and have stuck with chords every since because it's sooooo easy. And besides, playing with chords is found in pop music too. Which is a little more enjoyable and less torturous than classical piano. :-P

But i've grown a little tired of my same old emo chord progressions and "churchy" chords that i feel like it's time to pursue different sounds and techniques. Yeah, so YEEHAH!

I just wish that my piano would magically tune itself back to concert pitch, or that i could go right out and get a digital piano. The tuner guy who came to my place the other time was horrified at how flat my piano is. So flat that he didn't dare to tune it back completely for fear of destroying the strings inside. Too much tension = *PIAK*

Listening to classical music on youtube has made me realize that i enjoy it a lot more by watching the people who make the music a reality. Whether it's piano music or orchestral.

Oh and GUESS WHAT? I discovered.... a VEGETABLE ORCHESTRA! The first one is kind of like an introduction to how and what they do... They look like they're really having a carrot/cabbage/pumpkin/tomato of a time! Take a look see:



Cool BEANS, huh?

my life's reality

Perhaps after you've watched the video, just close your eyes and listen to the lyrics of the song. The song just reminded me of the reality of what Jesus did for me and for all of us, whether or not we acknowledge him or not. If ever you feel like God is far away from you, just think of what he did and let the love of his actions tell you what you mean to him.

"Why" by Nicole Nordeman

We rode into town the other day
Just me and my daddy
He said I'd finally reached that age
And I could ride next to him on a horse
That of course was not quite as wide

We heard a crowd of people shouting
And so we stopped to find out why
And there was that man that my dad said he loved
But today there was fear in his eyes

So I said daddy why are they screaming
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why is he dressed in that bright purple robe?
I'll bet that crown hurts him more then he shows
Daddy please can't you do something?
He looks as though he's gonna cry
You said he was stronger then all of those guys
Daddy please tell me why?
Why does everyone want him to die?

Later that day the sky grew cloudy
And daddy said I should go inside
Somehow he knew things would get stormy
Boy was he right
But I could not keep from wondering
If there was something he had to hide
So after he left I had to find out
I was not afraid of getting lost
So I followed the crowds
To a hill where I knew men had been killed
And I heard a voice come from the cross

And it said father why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why are they casting their lots for my robe?
This crown of thorns hurts me more then it shows
Father please can't you do something?
I know that you must hear my cry
I thought I could handle a cross of this size
Father remind me why
Why does everyone want me to die?
When will I understand why?

My precious son
I hear them screaming
I'm watching the face of the enemy beaming
But soon I will clothe you in robes of my own
Jesus this hurts me much more then you know
But this dark hour
I must do nothing
Though I've heard your unbearable cry
The power in your blood
Destroys all of the lies
Soon you'll see past their unmerciful eyes
Look there below
See the child
Trembling by her father's side
Now I can tell you why
She is why you must die

(video images and lyrics aren't running in parallel in terms of context, but it helps to let you picture the scene)

there are rosy and not so rosy times

Long ago and not too long ago, every time she raises her voice, begins to sound unreasonable, or has a tinge of accusation/highstrung-ness in her voice, or gets annoying in any way, i respond just as hot temperedly like a knee jerk reaction. I had no patience to tolerate what i perceived as nonsense. I would rise to challenge her and an argument would ensue.

These days, whenever she gets into one of those moments, i feel like my world suddenly slows down, my heart beat slows down, my breath gets even. It's not that my brain does not begin shooting out lots of lines to retort back. It does. But i feel my decision making (temporal lobe?) kicking in. And my response? I either dismiss it silently and keep quiet, or, answer what needs to be answered in an even or an emotionless tone.

Life is a lot more peaceful when you choose your battles.

But for him, it's different. It might not be the case on his side, but to me, he always seems to be challenging me. Always being critical, quick to judge. Finding loopholes, rarely encouraging. He makes me feel ignorant, stupid, and youthful in a bad way (as in, "you young people don't know much").

And it hurts. This time, things can swing in two directions. We either have a debate, albeit slightly heated, or, we'd have an argument. These days, the debate happens more often because i try really hard to control my nerves before the situation escalates.

As a kid, i used to marvel at how patient he would be... How he takes a while before he gets agitated, and i always felt safe having him like that. In the recent years though, things have changed. He gets irritated more easily and shows it. I didn't used to be as scared/cautious around him as i am now. He's no monster of course. It's just a change in the dynamics that i've noticed.

this confirms (everyone's suspicions and my own) that i am weird

i was perusing through 2 beautiful wedding websites of two couples i know personally from church.

instead of feeling the fuzzy longing of wanting to be get married too like most girls...

i suddenly feel like i don't want to get married.