And a Smashing Noo Yah too Yoo!

So here i am, at home with all of my family (quite surprisingly really) on new year’s eve. Usually, my sister would be out partying and me, well, judging by the number of times i’ve been out lately, i should’ve been out again today.
but everyone’s home and the feeling is goody goody good.

i just love the notion that special days are reserved just for family. Well, actually, i don’t really think new year’s eve/day is spectacularly special, but i guess it’s just significant enough.

nice, i love being home with everyone around me. While a good portion of Singapore is out, i am nuaing at home, comfy, smelling nice and feeling nice. *grins inwardly*

Well, as usual, i have nothing intelligent to say. ok, i do have a few posts saved here and there but right now, i don’t particularly feel like typing anything meaningful or with direction.

then again... i did want to get in my last post of 2004 in before the first second into 2005 passes by.

Yeah. The wireless internet connection is up but because my room’s the furthest from the access point, the connection is as fragile as a, as a... er, goldfish’s tail. yeah, goldfish tail.
no, butterfly wings.
yeah, that’s the one.

Well, before the year ends with that last second that is hopping up and down waiting his turn to come by, there are just a few things i want to say to everyone who’s been with me, through this year 2004.

What would my life have been without all of you? My precious friends, school mates, bloggers, martians, plutonians (i know you guys came by that night, don’t think i didn’t see you)

My life has been shaped, aided, lived, enjoyed, worth it, by the very fact that you’ve been here for me, in whichever way that you were. I just want all of you to know that, for all you’ve done, i THANK YOU.

In my eyes, you are:
Treasured, even if you don’t think you’re worth a dime,
Loved, even though you might’ve seriously considered murdering me,
Thought of, even though you might’ve forgotten me,
Special, even if you thought you never were.

You have made life bearable, made this person one happy soul. Words cannot describe how much my heart wishes to thank you for your time, your effort, your care, your attention, your FRIENDSHIP.

With much love and respect, joline wants to tell you that you have been the bestest in the whole wide world and she wishes with all her heart that in the coming year and the others to come, her friendship with you will grow stronger and deeper!

For once, (this is news) evil twin sister stopped her antagonistic attitude and nodded her head in agreement with very little coaxing.

Last but never never least,

THANK YOU GOD FOR BRINGING ME THROUGH THIS YEAR RELATIVELY UNSCATHED, WHO SUSTAINED ME DURING MY WEAKEST HOUR and WHO BROUGHT ME CLOSER TO HIMSELF.

*bow*

Till then.
*a post on current issues to come*

bah

keyboard lessons coming up.
church trainee band practices MAY be coming up.

my internet connection still not up.

:-(

setting up a new wireless in the house.

A BLESSED CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!

Why is it that the guys who enter my life do this one thing that screws up whatever faith i want to have in them from the very beginning?

That thing is: trying to counsel a girl and then end up getting emotionally attached to her and having feelings for her. Wake up your idea lah, all of you. It just shows how .......

I needn't explain further.

*** ***

Anyway people, it's been so long since i've updated. i miss blogging a whole load! I haven't gotten my stuff done yet and am still loaning the laptop from my mommy who thankfully isn't quite computer savvy.
Hohoho.

I hope things have been ok with everyone. Are you doing ok?!?!?!??!??!

Gee. it's been crazy-busy these days. Because of Christmas, because of friends, because of presents and everything else, the works.

I cannot go into detail because this nut of a laptop is known to do stupid things if i just happen to press the 'delete' button in a certain way.

I need to get a bluetooth adaptor for my dinosaur age laptop.
I need to get my arrows. NEW arrows.
TJ?! COME OUT FROM THAT PLACE WILL YOU?! (haha)

All right, i have to go now. Massive present wrapping session is in order.

Till Then.
*Keep healthy and whole!*

*looks around*

A WORD OF THANKS TO ALL OF YOU WHO LEFT ME BIRTHDAY MESSAGES, COMMENTS, SMSES, AND EVERYTHING ELSE! THE DAY AND DAYS BEFORE AND AFTER WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN SPECIAL IF NOT FOR ALL OF YOU WHO CARED ENOUGH TO GIVE UP OF YOUR TIME AND RESOURCES.
YOU MADE IT ALL HAPPEN. THANK YOU EVERYONE. GOD BLESS. :-))))

*** ***

Did someone chop off my fingers?

Well let's say that the internet connection in my room has been cut because this thingy, for lack of the real word, died on me. That leaves me with the option of snitching someone else's computer.
But someone else's computer isn't called someone else's computer for nothing. So hence the lack of blog posts.

Kinda saved one post in my newly purchased thumbdrive. WOW, thumbdrive in Jo's possession? That's new. Yes, i am a self professed technophobe but i AM trying ok.

I daren't type too long on this laptop because this one is known to pull stunts too. Haiya.

It's been busy since last thursday. Will talk about that soon once i've got things settled. It's nothing much for the reader to gawk over. It's just that i am feeling very blessed by everyone around me. :-) And i intend not to forget these things too quickly.

Gee, my sandles give my feet such a pong! *poooh*

Something interesting and totally unexpected has happened and i was taken aback for just that moment.
Strangely? Or by the grace of God? i am not really affected.
Thing is, the acid/litmus test will come only when that day (if it exists) arrives, which i am surprisingly not getting jittery about.

Is it really that i am ok now, or am i just in desensitized mode. I get that way sometimes. It's only when crunch time comes when i feel everything crash upon me.

Well, let it be, let it be. Que Sara Sara?

Christmas hits us again. I'm so not going to launch into another negative speech on Christmas and what society has made it. For now. (?)

I love YOU ALL.

Till Then.
*pictures are in order, once i get my system back up and running*

S....... (updated)

Your element is Fire: Strong, hot tempered,
powerful, and passionate. Well now lets see,
being fire you are quite strong and powerful,
people look up to you greatly and often seek
your protection. You have the ability to gain
many friends and you are always one people can
count on to do what you say you will do. You
are extremely loyal be it friends or family
you'll stick up for them and you are never
willing to put them in a position that could
hurt them. You know what roll you play in life,
leader, and you intend to let people know it.
Not everyone is capable of leadership but you
certainly have the willpower and flare to do
it. You have quite a temper if it shows itself,
one that can often lead you into trouble. Once
your mind is made up there is no changing it
but no one said that was a bad thing.


.:-What is your true element?-:. -With Anime Pictures and detailed answers-
brought to you by Quizilla

Note: Quite true to an extent, methinks. But the words "powerful" is so funny! Unless you're talking about... arm strength. Heh heh heh.
What say you?

*** ***

(from pulling arrows out without my rubber grip)

1. Sores all over my palms.
check.
2. Blister or two on either hand.
check.

(from getting hit by the bow string)

1. Opened a fresh wound.
check.

And while meandering through the tight throng of archers, i poked a guy in his wonderful pectorals with my stabilizer. With much embarrassment from me.
*red face*

YOU TELL ME HOW TO SHOOT PROPERLY FOR THE COMPETITION TOMORROW?

PLUS!

MOST OF MY COMPOUND FEMALE COMPETITORS ARE FROM THE NATIONAL TEAM.
HOW ABOUT THAT?!

PLUS PLUS!

I'VE ONLY PRACTICED TWICE FOR THIS COMPETITION!

Can someone psycho me tonight?
My mental shape is bad.

I might just get a placing if my confounded arm would STOP SHAKING!

Saturday, 4:35pm

I'm not exactly elated with my scores of, round 1 -> 227 and round 2 -> 232 (perfect score is 300) for the qualifying rounds today.

But, when i rethink about it, considering i practiced a "grand total" of 6 to 7 hours for this competition (thanks or no thanks to the many times i've been out and NOT training), i guess it isn't all that bad.

It's bad, but not, TERRIBLE until cannot make it. I was afraid i couldn't even hit 200!

The national archers shooting with me were hitting 250+, 260+ and 271.

Hm, my first competition ever. I injured an arm muscle while helping to remove arrows.
*whine*

Another thing.

I think i might give up on the ever joining the national team.
Because the archery politics, and community in general, is really quite rotten.

But i also ask myself. Should i allow that to deter me?

Thing is, there's a very fine line between giving up something you love and avoiding trouble. And trouble does NOT only encompass trouble within the archery arena itself.

*bleah*

Feeling: a little depressed, for the inevitable end is near. (updated)

The air feels different, the atmosphere (not weather-wise) feels different, the mood that surrounds me is different.
It is the end of the year. It has arrived. It hardly feels it's time for december.

And although the end of it doesn't exactly hold much significance because this year wasn't particularly special, i still feel depressed over it.

No, no. Don't get me wrong. This year has definitely brought to light some rather interesting/special episodes.
The one thing that would add THEE strong value to it, is if i had to leave some wonderful people behind, because of the passing of a year/academic final year.
Which in this case, does not exist.

Emo Jo? Yuh. Perhaps.

Something just seems to be pulling at tugging at my heart. WHY?!??!
What is it, Heart? You got yourself a problem?
Or is there some sort of unfinished business that i've not dealt with?
Is there something i've been shoving away and not solving?

Perhaps it's just Emo Jo.

Oh Lord... In times like these, when i find no rest in myself or with myself, i can come to You in utmost helplessness, vulnerable all over.
You would take me in, in no matter what shape and state i am in.
When no one can give or offer, or are not in a position to soothe this intangible ache, i have my Lord God who understands me.

The end gives way to a new beginning. It's an endless cycle till the day we die.
Unless everyday is the same and the passing of years mean nothing to you.

*** ***

I was looking through my bank of digital photos and while glancing through, i was struck by a sad thought when i came across two photos.

I don’t know about you, but i guess to many, 21st birthdays are more significant than the others that came before.
Celebration of the arrival of official “adulthood”.

Gone, *poof!*, are the days of legitimate abhorrence of your parents and EVERYTHING, EVERYONE else.
Except that you may now fume at the Government more strongly than ever as, i guess, you can concentrate your resources where it counts. (eh?)

No, no, IGNORE ME. I am not speaking from a personal point of view.

Anyway, 21st birthdays sometimes warrant big parties, to medium-sized parties, to small gatherings to a family affair, to... a specialized area in the brain for anticipation and expectation, for memories, on that special day.

Isn’t it bittersweet when you celebrate your exclusive 21st birthday with a boyfriend/girlfriend, that you only break up with later on?

Sad, i say. *shakes head forlornly*

Looking through photos of your birthday would hotly arouse other memories you might otherwise not want to remember.
You see his/her arm around you, as the both of you stand behind your birthday cake, both smiling for a perfect picture.

Sad, i say.

Moral of the story?

- Don’t take pictures with your current partner on your 21st? Er. Quite impossible and stewpid right.

- Always take plenty of photos with OTHER people so that pictures of you and your partner are dispensable (in an event of a real break-up)? Eh... *rolls eyes*

- Uhm, how about just getting over the fella and rejoicing in the glory of being 21st. If there is any glory to be considered. Whatever suits your fancy. *shrugs*

No, i am NOT moping!
Just a thought that came in.

*** ***

A little testimony.

One night, i tossed in bed and my leg did this little insignificant twist and suddenly, this sharp pain shot up from my left foot and even up my calve.
It felt like something had been displaced within the foot itself and had elongated effects that led up my calve in a thin straight piercing line... the pain felt embedded under the muscles.
And the pain wasn’t something that could go away with massaging.

I was so freaked and kept my foot as still as possible but realized it was getting tiring holding it tense.
Thoughts that ran through my mind were:
How am i going to walk tomorrow morning? (well, today technically)

So, half asleep as i was, i decided to sit up in bed, lay my hand on my leg and pray.

After praying and trusting God for His healing, i decided to stretch out my leg and foot straight out. Not sure what made me do that despite the pain.
Lo and Behold. The pain disappeared into nothingness.

PRAISE GOD!


Till Then.
*i think photos are needed here soon. I shall upload some!*

Loved.

I feel so loved. :-)

This and this, that and that... Oh, how i feel SO THANKFUL TO everyone AND THANKFUL FOR everyone!
And THANKFUL TO GOD who put these awesome people into my little life.

Never in my 20 years have i felt this blessed by friends around this time of the year. No, it's not just about celebrating Christmas with me.

Well, that's if you don't count the time i had a party when i was in primary school. People were invited by the host. They didn't voluntarily do something for you.

That's what makes this altogether different.

Library Gang, i lub you gals.
I'm so thankful for what you guys did for me today.
But it's not just about today.
You gals have always been so precious to me... Even though i come across as an unappreciating squirt, you gals have been the pillars in my life and i appreciate each and every one of you. Very Much.

Like i've said before and i'll say it again.
I didn't exactly love the time i had in ACJC, but with you, life was bearable, life in ACJC had some meaning!
If i were ever given a shot at turning back the clock and changing things,
I. WOULDN'T. EVER.

Of course, not forgetting my other wonderful pillars! Not the library gang specifically but you know who you are.
You've also made life in ACJC worth it and the same pledge goes to you.
You make it impossible for me to think or wish to think, how life would be without you.

As for everyone else i've yet to mention but i can't because i'd just go on and on about seemingly ghostly beings because i'm not mentioning names,
I LOVE YOU TOO. And oh... how i thank God for your presence.

*** ***

How do i feel? I'm not sure. You can never be an equal match. So how does it work?
Yet, there's a tingle, something interesting.
Or is it only because there's too much glucose on your tongue.


Till Then.
*Trying to find it in me to blog about the past few days' happenings but it's been a little droughty around here*

snippet

Did a minor adjustment to my gym routine and so it seems that i am not aching so much and acutely today.
Now i am left with: Should i have done that? I feel like i've not done enough, know?

Heh, do you hear the "No Pain, No Gain" saying speaking out?

Looked in the mirror and discovered what gymming did for me and i am pleasantly surprised.
Not that it is really obvious to the man (errm, so to speak), on the street. But obvious enough for me to actually realize that i've gotten new muscle lines (when you flex) that show the muscle groups!

Interesting. I think i should up my gym training. Once a week isn't as beneficial as twice, which is what the team is doing.
Well, mostly.

The festive season and holidays...
When cash registers are noisier than usual and when all my pants look like there's a hole in place of where a pocket is suppose to be.

I have to run off again to the other side of the country. Again.

Till Then.
*I have a new toy.*